Summer's End (5 page)

“I’m sure you had a good reason for that.” Saying it caused Emily to re-evaluate her expectations. Why had her eyes been busy searching for the slightest sign of Marianne all day? Surely, she’d spent the rest of her holiday trying to avoid other people.

“If you call getting wasted on cheap beer in the middle of the afternoon a good reason, then sure.” Marianne shifted her weight and let her behind drop into the sand.

“You’re free to do as you please. That’s the whole point, right?” Emily glanced at Marianne who stared out into the ink black night. The skin of her cheek closest to Emily was a bit wrinkled. She just nodded absent-mindedly.

“Night swim?” Marianne asked after a while. She turned her head to face Emily and her eyes burned through the blackness of the night.

Emily was on her feet in a split second. She was still wearing her bathers underneath her shorts and tank top and she rushed them off her in record time. “Yes, please.” She watched Marianne hesitate. Her eyes stopped at Marianne’s t-shirt and she immediately understood. She suppressed a grin and said, “Race you.”

“Hey, that’s not fair—” Marianne’s words were drowned out by the slapping roar of the waves.

Emily waded into the water and looked back. She witnessed Marianne struggle out of her shorts before walking towards her in a pair of white panties and her t-shirt.
Should be interesting when wet.

“Forgot something?” Emily asked when Marianne faced her in the water.

“As usual.” Marianne grinned, her eyes glinting in the moonlight. It was a half-smile that seemed to connect with Emily’s stomach, leaving it feeling funny. Then there was that warm, fuzzy sensation making its way through her blood. And the sudden need for swim goggles so she could dive under and sneak a peek.

Apart from the faint sound of voices drifting towards them from one of the nearby resorts, everything was quiet around them. It was a stillness Emily was not used to, or maybe it was the child in her, and she started splashing Marianne with water. Gently at first, but her enthusiasm—and her lack of knowing what to say or do, quickly took over and soon she was dousing Marianne in handfuls of salty sea water.

“Hey,” Marianne shrieked. “I always give as good as I get.” She moved her arms through the water and over her head, her wet t-shirt clinging to her skin, and it was almost enough to make Emily stop in her tracks, but she couldn’t stop now. It would be a bit too obvious.

Water hit Emily straight in the face and while she was still busy trying to spit it out, she felt a pair of hands grab her below the knee and pull her under.

When she came back up for air, Marianne stared her in the face triumphantly. “That should teach you not to mess with me.” She stood tall in the water, only covered to the middle of her thighs, and Emily couldn’t keep her eyes off the water drops cascading down the other woman’s skin-tight, soaked clothes.
 

“I surrender,” she managed to squeeze out of her throat as a desire quite new to her swept through her flesh.

And if it was an invitation on Marianne’s part to instigate something, or even ask an inquisitive question, Emily missed that entirely because her body had become the master of her mind. She witnessed how Marianne’s hard nipples poked through the drenched fabric of her t-shirt and all she could think was how lucky she was to be under water so Marianne wouldn’t notice how soaked her bikini bottoms were.

MARIANNE

Marianne wondered if she was still drunk, the way she stood there in her wet attire facing Emily, who clearly was beyond words at the sight of her. The utter inappropriateness of the situation hit her like a fist in the gut. And she really should start wearing a bra more often.

She could barely make out the blue of Emily’s eyes in the darkness, but when their gazes met over the black surface of the water, and for some reason Marianne’s breath caught in her throat, she slowly started walking back to shore.
 

“I’ll fetch us some towels.” She turned away from Emily, afraid to look back and witness the raw emotions laid bare in Emily’s stare. The water was heavy against her legs, but she was practically running out of the ocean, having no clue how to deal with the rising fire in her blood.

Marianne waited long enough by the stack of fluffy towels to make sure the moment had passed before returning to the beach. Her hands were shaking a little too much for her comfort when she offered Emily the towel because all she really wanted to do was wrap it around her and pull her close like she had done the night before.

Maybe she shouldn’t have done that.

“Thanks,” Emily murmured. Drops of water slid off her onto the sand and Marianne couldn’t help herself. She caught a good look before Emily covered most of her skin with the towel.

“I guess you’ve had enough beer for one day?” Emily asked while shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her voice thin and tight.

“I—” She hesitated. It took more will power than Marianne had expected to reply in a sensible manner. “I’ll have some water.”

She made her way through the garden, hurrying to the kitchen, unable to tear herself away from Emily for the rest of night.

They sat down in the sand, enveloped in the almost-silence of the beach—just the gentle slapping of waves and the smacking of their lips as they drank.

Marianne knew small talk would not do. But how do you open a box that hasn’t been opened for years, a locked box of which the key went missing a long time ago? She couldn’t possibly share her burden with someone so young. It wasn’t fair. Still, the simple fact that she sat next to another woman merely contemplating the option made a shiver run up her spine.

Maybe thaw was setting in.

“I know, huh…” Emily started. “I know we haven’t talked much and we only just met, but I feel so at ease around you. Like I’ve known you forever.”

Marianne had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could reply. “We come from the same stock, I guess.” Her voice trembled. “Upper crust London.” She quickly pushed away the thought of her father’s last five messages on her phone that had gone unanswered. “Both gay. Both running.”

“Do you…” Emily hesitated again and Marianne felt like such a coward for making a twenty-four-year-old do all the heavy lifting in this late night conversation. “I guess I’m wondering if you feel it too.”

They both stared ahead. A few stars twinkled above the sea.

“What I feel doesn’t matter.” A cold hand wrapped itself around Marianne’s heart. Emily turned to her. Marianne didn’t move despite being able to see, from the corner of her eye, the desperate expression conquering Emily’s face.

“Why?” Emily asked.

“Because it’s the only way I know how to survive.” Emily had no idea what sitting on the beach with her after sunset and simply saying those words—no matter their bluntness—took out of Marianne. To Marianne, it presented another crack in her well-crafted armour. She swivelled around in the sand and somehow found the courage—because how could she not?—to face the girl. “But if you really must know.” Marianne realised her words were barely audible over the crashing of the waves. “Yes, I do.”

Emily cleared her throat before speaking. “It may not matter to you, but what you feel matters to me.”

The tears stinging behind her eyes were exactly the reason why Marianne didn’t have conversations like this anymore. This one was about to end abruptly either way, because Marianne didn’t have words left. She fought the animalistic impulse inside of her to lean forward and kiss Emily. Instead, she briefly reached for Emily’s palm and squeezed it gently before pushing herself up out of the sand. “Thanks,” she muttered quietly, turned around and walked inside.

When she arrived in her room, she sat down on the bed, buried her face in her hands and let the tears roll out.

It had happened once before. A sudden instant of standing face-to-face with a stranger that had changed her life. And look at the pain that had caused.

Marianne didn’t reach for a sleeping pill that night. Instead, before stripping off her wet clothes and going to bed, she walked to the window facing the ocean and looked for Emily. She could just make out her hunched shape at the edge of the garden—more a shadow really. As much as she tried, she couldn’t look away. Not this time.

EMILY

A knock on her bedroom door woke Emily from the lazy slumber she’d been indulging in for the past hour.
 

“Emily?” The sound of Marianne’s voice had the same shock effect as a bucket of cold water being poured over her sleepy head. “Are you awake?”

“Yes. Just a second,” Emily groaned while scanning the room for a piece of clothing to cover herself with. Last night’s towel was the first thing she found. She quickly folded it around her naked body and padded to the door to open it.

“Morning.” The unexpectedly bright smile Marianne greeted her with nearly floored her. “I’m sorry for disturbing you but it’s almost eleven and I just wanted to see if you were all right.”

“I’m fine.” Emily suppressed a grin at the sight of Marianne’s AC/DC t-shirt, and the obvious absence of a bra beneath it. “Do you check on all your guests?”

The lines around Marianne’s eyes crinkled up. “No. Just you.” She fiddled with her fingers before continuing. “Just so you don’t think I’m disappearing on you again, I’m meeting someone for lunch in town today, but I’ll be back after in case… erm, you want to talk or grab a beer together.”

Emily couldn’t hide the smile splitting her face. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Sure.” Marianne lingered by the door a bit longer, as if wanting to say something else. “See you later.” She turned on her heels and sauntered off. Emily’s eyes followed her as Marianne crossed through the hallway and climbed the stairs. The same sensation that had stirred her blood in the ocean the night before descended upon her. Only, this time she wasn’t wearing any clothes underneath the towel and she could swear the throbbing between her legs vibrated throughout her body.

She quickly shut the door and headed for the shower.

After getting dressed, Emily decided to forego a late breakfast at the Lodge and returned to the fish restaurant where she had lunch the day before.

While munching on more squid, kale with garlic and a spicy chicken dish—way too much for someone eating alone—she overlooked the ocean and wondered what it was like to cut yourself off from everything and everyone you once knew for years. She’d attempted to do the same the past three months, but she’d always been more or less in contact with someone from the homefront. She’d always been slated to go back. And her heart had opened itself to someone new much sooner than she’d anticipated after breaking off the engagement to Jasper.
 

She certainly hadn’t embarked on her solitary adventure to experience a holiday romance. She’d come to think things through. To evaluate. To finally be able to say the words. To confirm that she’d made the right decision. Her mission was complete. She had been ready to go back and then… Marianne had entered the scene.

Marianne with the dark eyes and the equally dark past. Curiosity burned inside of her, but Emily knew she shouldn’t pry. Especially not now that Marianne had given her the smallest of openings.
 

She paid a ridiculously small amount for the food and walked back along the shore line—where the sand was wet and cool—to the Lodge.

Emily found Marianne immersed in a book when she returned to the patch of beach on the backside of the lodge. Upon closer inspection, as she approached, she spotted the words
Best Lesbian Erotica
on the cover, which put her at an immediate loss for words.

“Hey.” Marianne held one finger between the pages, but closed the book so the cover was now clearly in view. Emily couldn’t keep her eyes off the image of the two naked women, albeit quite blurred, in an intimate position on the cover.

“I have more of these, if you’re interested.” Marianne took off her sunglasses and looked from the book to Emily, her eyes squinting against the sun. “I have a small library upstairs. Come have a browse later.”

She can’t talk about her troubled past, but she has no problem reading erotica in plain sight?
How odd. It wasn’t the only thought crowding Emily’s brain though. She was intrigued and curious. Because, of course she’d used the internet and her imagination, but she never really had…

“Maybe I will,” she mustered, and quickly made her way inside before the blush spreading across her cheeks became too visible.

MARIANNE

Marianne had done it on purpose. She’d sat there waiting for Emily’s return to gauge her reaction to her choice of literature, and, by the look of things, it hadn’t missed its effect. She hadn’t just innocently leafed through the book though, that was quite impossible with the kind of stories it contained, and it had left her in a mild state of arousal.
That had been a while.
She hadn’t reached for one of the books in the series for a long time, and the thought of grabbing one to provoke Emily had just popped into her mind. Normally, she wouldn’t have allowed herself a silly indulgence like that, but it was as if the whole situation with Emily asked for it. Which was nonsense, of course. Clear and utter nonsense.

While she was there, with the goods in hand, she might as well finish reading the story she’d been engrossed in, despite keeping an eye out for Emily. It was an excellent one, about a woman being seduced by a wine shop owner in Southern Italy. But that was where the similarities ended.

With a pair of drenched bikini bottoms that hadn’t been so wet without touching water in some time, Marianne made her way to her bedroom upstairs. She hoped no one would disturb her on the way, because she had some urgent business to attend to.

She didn’t lock her door because she never did, she was on the top floor for a reason, and without thinking or hesitation, slipped out of her bathing suit and spread out on the bed. She held on to the images the story had planted in her mind. The shop owner lifting up the visitor’s dress and letting her hands roam over her body briefly before slipping them inside of her.