Summer's End (6 page)

Marianne found her clit rock hard and, to her great surprise, she came quickly and with deep shudders of her muscles after a few quick strokes. The last image she saw in her mind’s eye before her body surrendered was one of Emily. It was more a memory, really, of Emily wading into the water that first afternoon by the ocean. It shocked Marianne because she had believed the moment hadn’t touched her in the slightest. Quite a few things had changed since then, even though it had happened less than forty-eight hours ago.
Careful Marianne
. But, by god, she had enjoyed the sensation.
 

A soft knock on the door startled her.

“Marianne?” Emily’s voice came from the other side. “Are you there?”

Marianne hurried off the bed looking for something to cover herself with. The easiest option seemed a bathrobe that hung off a hook on the back of the door.

“Just a second.” She pulled the cord extra tight around her waist before opening the door. “Yes?”

“Am I disturbing you?”

Marianne didn’t pull the door too wide, so as not to expose the evidence of her arousal that she had casually discarded on the floor. “I was just changing.” She cleared her throat. Was that a small smile playing on Emily’s lips? “How can I help you?”

“I just thought I’d take you up on your offer of visiting your library.” The innocence in Emily’s tone betrayed that she was anything but innocent.

“I wasn’t expecting you so quickly.” Marianne decided to give as good as she got. “You must be really curious.”

“There’s no time like the present, as they say.”

What had happened? Why did everything seem so different all of a sudden? So miles away from just yesterday morning. And how did she end up flirting rather shamelessly with a twenty-something at the top of the stairs?

“Would it be all right with you if I put some clothes on first? Just go through there.” She pointed in the direction of the door next to her bedroom.

“Why ever would it not be?” Emily said coquettishly before dragging her gaze away from Marianne.

Marianne closed the door and took a few deep breaths. Well, she had started it. The real question was if she could finish it. She pondered wearing a bra for a split second, but, as usual, decided against it. She located her t-shirt and shorts and put them on while her heart thundered furiously beneath her chest.

When she checked herself in the mirror, more out of habit than self-consciousness, her glance fell on the picture of her and Ingrid next to it and, as though the image cast a spell on Marianne, the pitter-patter beneath her ribs grew quieter. Marianne smiled at the golden-framed image—she could do that now, sometimes—and, as if agreeing on something with her former lover beyond time and space, nodded briefly.

Maybe five years
had
been long enough.

“What exactly are you looking for?” Marianne didn’t have to put the playfulness in her voice, it was there, showing up uninvitedly but welcome nonetheless.

“Gosh, you really do have quite the collection here.” Emily’s eyes scanned the rows of books feverishly, like a kid in a candy store. For the very first time. With unlimited funds.

“I would have dusted them off if you’d given me the time.”

EMILY

Emily had seen through Marianne’s charade. She might be young and maybe even slightly naive, but she wasn’t stupid.
 

She’d spotted Marianne rushing up the stairs, and she’d easily guessed at the reason for her hastiness. It had amused, but also thoroughly aroused her. Maybe more than she’d ever been. Because of the setting and the circumstances, no doubt, but also because of the small signs of a willingness to open up Marianne had started to display.
 

There she stood. Rising to the challenge, with her nipples stabbing the fabric of her bikini and her clit a throbbing mess in her swim suit. And maybe she could tell herself it was because of the explicit covers of the books she was browsing, but she knew better. It had everything to do with the woman behind her whose body heat she could feel radiate onto her back.

As appealing as some of the books looked, Emily’s interest soon wavered. Just as they’d been a ploy for Marianne, they’d been one for her. But, seeing as she didn’t really have a clue as to how to proceed, she played the game a while longer.

“The one you were reading seemed rather good.” She turned to face Marianne. “Seemed to have a certain urgency to it.”

“You’re very observant.” Marianne took a step in her direction. The room wasn’t very big as every wall was covered with book cases.

“So I’ve been told.” The words seemed to roll out of Emily’s mouth as swiftly as the breath out of her lungs. Was this what desire really felt like? This swooping rush of want that knocked the wind out of her?

Something changed in Marianne’s face then, as though she suddenly recognised the gravity of the situation.
 

Emily backed up against the book shelves, the wood prodding her ribcage. Not because she was afraid or hesitant, but because she wanted to lengthen the moment in which Marianne came for her. She never wanted to forget the look on her face, the mixture of need, caution, and relief.

“You don’t strike me as having doubts about this, but I need to ask, okay?” Marianne’s voice had dropped a register or two. “Are you sure?”

Emily bit her lip and nodded. She lifted her hands to Marianne’s arms and pulled her close. “God yes,” she whispered before pressing her lips against Marianne’s.

Instantly, she was lost in the softness of kissing another woman. The utter unexpectedness of it, and the way a simple kiss seemed to change something inside of her, settling in the pit of her stomach and sizzling in her blood.

The kiss grew from tentative to intense rapidly and Emily felt Marianne’s body crash against her, forcing her ribs to push harder against the shelves. How fitting, she thought, considering the content of the books behind her.

And how glorious it was to feel a woman’s breasts rub against hers, to feel her nipples perk up against her flesh. The softness of Marianne’s tongue was unlike anything else she’d ever felt. She had tried to imagine it, of course, but her imagination, as it turned out, had been sorely lacking.

Marianne’s tongue swirled inside of Emily’s mouth with a passion and urgency she had rarely come across in her life. As if she sensed she was getting too lost in the kiss, Marianne pulled back slightly, ending it with a tender peck.

“Good god,” she exhaled more than said. “I, uh, I’m not sure…”

Emily could feel her drift off into that dark space she’d slipped off to last night and, as if it was the only antidote, placed her hands on Marianne’s neck and drew her near.

“Please.” Emily looked straight into her eyes. “Don’t run.” She had to swallow. “Stay.”

And she did. Marianne’s expression softened, the doubts quickly evaporating from her face, and leaned back in for a kiss.

It went deeper this time, at least it touched Emily in a deeper place. Because whatever Marianne was battling through and the significance this kiss held for her, this wasn’t a minor moment for Emily either.

Every dip of Marianne’s tongue inside her mouth carried Emily further away from the life she once knew. She’d always known there was no way back, but now she clearly felt it as well. Amongst other things. Like a flood of liquid releasing between her legs. And a flock of butterflies swarming through her veins.

“I want you,” she whispered in between kisses. She didn’t know whether she’d really said it or if Marianne had heard it, but they kept on kissing, kept on exploring each other’s mouths with a tenderness that tore down every wall Emily had ever built around herself, and Emily knew she’d never spoken truer words in her life.

“Me too,” Marianne whispered back eventually, her hands in Emily’s hair. “But it’s complicated. I’m complicated. I have a past and—”

“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.” And as she said it, as the words left her mouth in a frenzy of lust and desire, she knew she’d asked for too much too soon.

Marianne withdrew almost instantly. “You don’t know me, Emily. You don’t know anything about me.” There was a tremor in her voice and her hands shook.

“Then tell me what I need to know.”

MARIANNE

Marianne stared at Emily. Her brain resisted, but every cell in her body begged for mercy, at last. She couldn’t just throw herself at Emily, though. That had never been her style and it wouldn’t be now, either.

“Let’s talk.” She tried to keep her voice steady, but failed miserably. “Tonight. Let’s have dinner.”

“You mean a date?”

Marianne shuddered at the word. “If you will, yes, a date.” She indulged Emily.
 

“Can’t wait.” Emily made a play for her, tried to catch Marianne’s wrist in her hand, but, more on instinct than anything else, Marianne recoiled. She regretted it immediately, but Emily had no idea. Not something Marianne could blame her for, but maybe she should protect her. Maybe her first time shouldn’t be with someone like Marianne. Maybe Marianne shouldn’t be so selfish and project all of her repressed desires and years of denied lust on this girl who was merely on holiday, merely passing through, which, truth be told, made her appear even more attractive.

She could already see the hurt in Emily’s eyes as she withdrew.
 

“Whatever it is,” Emily approached her despite Marianne’s reticence, “you think you are, I don’t care about your past. I care about the present, about this moment between us, the simple beauty of it. Please, just try to acknowledge that.” Emily suddenly seemed wise beyond her years.

“I promise to try.” Marianne allowed Emily to touch her again. “I do.” She pulled Emily close, her fingers disappearing in the wild locks of her hair, and kissed her again. But to Marianne, it was so much more than a kiss. It was a release from the prison of her mind. An escape from years of torment.

Liquid heat tumbled through her flesh, scorching her bones. She had to restrain herself to not drag Emily to the floor with her and let go of everything there and then. But, unlike that night more than five years ago, Marianne had learned to always let common sense prevail.

It was hard to resist the raw need, the blazing urgency of desire in Emily’s eyes when they came up for air and locked gazes, but apart from the fact that it was too much too soon, Marianne had a guest house to run. Thank god for that, she thought, for the umpteenth time in her second life.

“I’ll cook for you,” she said, trying to bring them back to solid ground. “The other guests have made arrangements to go into town.”

Emily nodded and it looked as if it was all she could muster.

“I have some errands to run, but Dao is here if you need anything.” Marianne painted on a smile. “Meanwhile, you can borrow any book you like.” She slanted her head and pecked Emily on the nose before stepping away.

Emily stood there immobile for a while, eyes wide and panting, and another rush of lust swept through Marianne at the sight of her.
The shackles are off. God help me.
She left the room quickly because she needed to breathe in a different sort of air.

Back in her bedroom, with the door closed behind her, she crumpled down on the bed and didn’t fight back the tears. They landed in greedy gulps on her cheeks and knees and arms and they felt as much like freedom as the touch of Emily’s tongue against her lips.

She’d promised Emily some sort of explanation and whereas that burden would have been too much—
was
too much—yesterday, today she felt stronger, maybe even ready.

Not that the voice in the back of her mind had completely relinquished control. It was still there, warning not to get in too deep, but really, there wasn’t too much danger of that. Emily would be leaving in a few days, and, as cruel as it may have been, Marianne believed that to be an acceptable arrangement. She’d never had a step-by-step approach because she never had a plan except to get away from the events that changed everything about her life, as far as possible, but now that this opportunity presented itself, she knew she had to take it. And, in a way, it was helpful to know that, no matter what happened, a certain boundary simply could not be crossed. It was a precaution Marianne desperately needed.

She took off her clothes, looked at her short black bob in the mirror, the brown of her eyes and the flecks of yellow in them, the swell of her biceps and the squareness of her shoulder line, and, uncharacteristically, thought, why the hell not, before heading for the shower in the en-suite bathroom.

EMILY

Emily had acted on instinct as much as on desire and she had no way of knowing that, a mere half hour after following Marianne up the stairs, she’d stand trembling with her back against a bunch of lesbian erotica anthologies. She turned around and browsed them again, but they couldn’t hold her interest anymore. She didn’t want words, least of all sentences on paper—no matter how arousing. She wanted action, soft hands on her breasts and nipples in her mouth.
 

She made her way down and headed straight into the ocean, in desperate need of cooling off. Time went by excruciatingly slowly, as if slowing down to torment her. She couldn’t focus on her book, didn’t find any songs she wanted to listen to on her iPod, and when Dao served her a drink on the patio, it felt odd to not receive it from Marianne.

She watched the other couple leave and exhaled, hoping they wouldn’t return too soon. She waited in vain for a glimpse of Marianne, but either she took her sweet time with the errands or she was actively avoiding Emily until their ‘date’. Maybe she had pushed it by calling it that. But maybe Marianne needed a little push. Maybe it was all she needed.

Just as Emily headed to her room to get ready, Marianne walked in.

“Dinner in an hour?” she asked dryly, almost matter-of-factly, as if nothing had changed since she’d asked the same question two nights ago.

Emily nodded and wondered what on earth she’d do with herself the next hour. She opted for a quick shower and a stroll on the beach to at least make an attempt at clearing her head. The problem was that she had no desire to forget about anything that had happened since she arrived.