Starfish Sisters (12 page)

'Come in, girls.' Carla led us into her office. 'Close the
door after you, Georgie.'

Carla was looking serious, which was strange 'cause
we were the ones who said we wanted to talk to her,
not the other way around.

'Sit down, girls.'

Georgie crinkled up her nose at me. She was obviously
thinking the same way.

'So?' Carla asked.

'It's about Micki,' Georgie said.

'I thought so,' Carla said, nodding at us. 'It's a very –
unusual – predicament for a young girl to be in. Really,
really sad.'

'Um?' Like me, Georgie was totally lost.

'Well, we were thinking' – I took over – 'that we'd
like to do something for Micki.'

'Right,' Carla said, frowning. 'What did you have in
mind?'

Before I got to answer, Carla raised her hand and
said, 'I mean, it's a lovely idea, girls, but it's a very
sensitive situation. I'm not sure Micki would want the
others knowing. I'm actually surprised she's told
anyone at all.'

Georgie and I exchanged a glance and a shrug.

'Are we talking about the same thing?' Georgie
asked.

'Oh?' Carla sat back in the chair, her head wobbling
to the side. 'We're talking about Micki's dad. Aren't we?'

'Um, no,' Georgie replied.

Silence.

Awkward.

Georgie's foot nudged mine.

'We were talking about wanting to raise some
money to get Micki a new board,' I offered. 'You know
how she's only got one. Um, yeah. That's all.'

Carla suddenly looked like she'd been overcooked
in a solarium. She must've known too, as she sunk her
head into her hands.

Another silence.

'What have we done?' Georgie mouthed to me.

If the situation didn't have such a serious edge
hanging around it, I would have got the giggles for
sure. But whatever was really going on was no
laughing matter.

'Okay, girls.' Finally Carla spoke. You could tell she
was being really careful about what she said. 'I think
what's just happened is that we've had a little . . .
misunderstanding. Please, respect Micki's privacy and
keep this conversation to yourselves. I'm sorry, this is
totally my fault. I'm not able to explain the details,
either. Okay?'

We nodded yet I wanted to shake my head and say,
'No, I don't get it. I don't know what you're on about.
This is totally weird.'

Carla stood up. Meeting adjourned, obviously.

'What about our idea?' Georgie said. 'We haven't
told you about it yet.'

'Not now.' Carla opened the door. 'Another time,
girls. I'm sorry.'

Once we had opened the sliding door and stepped
back into the normal world of surf camp, Georgie and I
eyeballed each other and yelled, 'What the hell was
that about?'

'You know what just happened?' Georgie said.

'No. I don't,' I told her. 'Do you?'

'Carla was about to tell us something we weren't
meant to know, except that she thought we already
knew. It was obviously about Micki's dad.'

'Yeah, I got that bit.' I may be blonde but I'm not
totally brainless.

'It must've been serious too.'

'Well, I told you he was weird.' We sat on the grass
near the tennis courts. 'I wonder what it was?'

'Micki told me the other day, when we were on
kitchen duty, that her dad can't work.' Georgie was
pulling up little blades of grass then tickling her nose
with them. 'She said he had some disease and he was
on medication. It was something like that. I wish I'd
listened better.'

This probably wasn't the most sensitive option but
the curiosity was bugging me. 'Should we just come
straight out and ask Micki?' I suggested. 'I saw her dad
have some kind of weird turn at the Gromfest in
Coolum. Maybe if I ask her about it, that might get her
talking.'

'No way!' Georgie replied. 'You heard what Carla
said. We're not allowed to mention it to anyone.'

Georgie and I stretched out on the grass.

'Micki has been quiet today, hasn't she?' Georgie said.

'Dunno.' I yawned. I wasn't exactly a dedicated
Micki watcher.

'Actually, come to think of it . . .' Georgie sat up. 'This
morning after our surf session with Jake, I was walking
up to the bungalow with her –'

'And . . .' I yawned again.

'She just ran off saying she needed to get her
washing from the laundry.'

'What's that got to do with anything?'

Jules and I had arranged to meet at the lagoon, which
was on the other side of Coolina beach. Apart from
accidentally-on-purpose bumping into him the other
day, this was our first proper meeting and I was feeling
like I needed mouth-to-mouth rescucitation, I was so
nervous. Of course, I wanted the mouth-to-mouth
from him, except that's what I was nervous about!

Even though I wasn't talking about Tim anymore
(I was working on trying to wipe his memory out of my
head) the girls still were. Except Georgie, of course,
who'd become an expert on changing the subject for
me.

Like at lunch, Megan said, 'How do you know Tim's
a good boy when he goes away, Ace? Don't you get
worried about the other girls? I would.'

Once, a sneaky comment like that would've freaked
me out for the next three days.

'We trust each other,' I lied and smiled, remembering
that's what we'd said in the magazine article.

'So, Megan?' Here came the Georgie Elwood Ross
diversion. 'What's the weather like in Tasmania today?
Is Eaglehawk beach pumping?'

Had I trusted Tim? I wondered as I munched my
tuna salad. I had. I must've. I gave him myself. But had
Tim thought that I owed him? That being his girlfriend
gave me some kind of status and in return he could
take anything from me? Or was it me who thought like
that?

Did I have sex with him because I was scared if I
didn't he'd leave me and then I'd be a nobody?

It wasn't like that, though. Ocean Pearl had sponsored
me while Tim Parker was still a poster stuck up
inside my bedroom cupboard. They didn't take me on
because of who my boyfriend was. But sometimes Tim
made it feel that way. So why did I let him when I knew
it wasn't like that?

Thinking about that hurt and made me mad. Not
hurt and mad like I was when Mum and Dad split up. I
was really mad then. When I found out Dad had a girlfriend
I threw his mobile phone down the drain
outside his place.

This time I was hurt and mad because I'd been
stupid. That's what Mum was trying to say to me on
our car trip here. Now, it made sense.

Anyway, I was never going to get the opportunity to
snap Tim's favourite board in two or scratch the paint
on his stupid BMW motorbike. Besides, I didn't have
to. I had Jules to take my mind off him. I wasn't going
to waste another second thinking about Tim Parker.

After lunch, everyone was lounging around on the
verandah – at least I thought everyone was – so I snuck
up to the bungalow to get changed.

The door was wide open and inside Micki was
sitting on her bed folding her washing.

'Hi, Micki,' I said. But she didn't seem to hear me.
'Hey,' I said again.

Micki looked up. 'Ace? Hi.'

'What are you doing?'

'Nothing.' Micki shrugged.

I was prying but Micki did seem flat. 'Are you okay?
You seem a bit . . . sad.'

'Just tired,' she answered. 'What are you up
to?'

'Oh, nothing.' I was searching around the floor for
my blue dress that Tim always said I looked sexy in.
'Just thought I'd get changed out of my boardies.'

I found my blue dress and slipped off to the
bathroom. Bronzer, lip gloss and a light spray of
perfume. Quietly, I climbed up on the toilet seat so I
could inspect my whole reflection.

The dress did look good on me, especially as I was
super-tanned. I experimented with a few variations.
The side of my dress hitched up into my bikini pants –
that looked cheap. A belt around the waist – that made
it look like I'd tried too hard. One sleeve off the
shoulder and all my hair swept over to the side was the
winner. If I was Jules I'd be thinking:
She is hot!

When I finally emerged, Micki was still sitting on
her bed folding the same towel.

'You look nice,' she said.

'Thanks,' I said, smiling. 'You know when you just
feel like dressing up? I am so sick of wearing board
shorts every day.'

'Are you going to meet that guy?'

I opened my mouth then closed it.

Micki was looking at me like what she'd just said
was the most normal thing in the world.

'I saw you two down at the beach the other day.'

I heard the gasp escape up my throat. Had anyone
else seen?

'He's pretty good-looking.'

I melted onto the bed next to Micki. 'I know.'

'You'd make a good couple.'

That's what I thought too. She was so sweet, Micki. I
was glad we were organising the fashion parade for
her.

'Um ...' Micki was studying me closely. 'I think
you've got a bit too much of that shiny stuff on your left
cheek.'

'Can you fix it?'

'Sure.' Micki tilted my chin and rubbed at my skin.
'What would you do if you knew something really bad
but you weren't allowed to say anything about it?'

'Oh, I guess it depends on what it was.' I was doing
my best to sound super-casual. 'If it was bad and upsetting
me I'd definitely share it with someone.'

'Just say you couldn't.'

'Well, why couldn't you?'

'Because you promised.'

'But what if you could trust the person not to tell
anyone?'

It had to be three minutes until two o'clock but
patiently I sat there waiting for Micki to tell me
whatever Carla nearly did but then wouldn't.

'Okay,' Micki said, standing up and having a stretch,
'sneak out through the tennis courts. They'll never see
you.'

'Oh? Yeah. Good idea. Thanks, Micki.'

Yeah, I was really glad we were doing the fashion
parade.

Ace had made a plan and was taking me through it.

'So I'll say, "Who feels like playing truth or dare?"
and you act all keen and say "Yeah." Kia will play for
sure 'cause I suggested it and Micki will if she knows
you are.'

'And what are we going to do if Micki picks a dare
and not a truth?'

'We'll play a few rounds,' Ace said. 'You can't just
pick dares all the time. Can you?'

'I think you can choose what you want.'

'Well, I'll make it a rule that you have to alternate
between truths and dares.'

'Ace, I hope this doesn't backfire on us.'

'It won't.'

'I don't reckon Micki will say anything if Kia's
around.'

'But Kia knows Micki's dad.'

'I'm still not sure.'

'Jules thought it was a good idea,' Ace added. 'He
helped me with it.'

'And that's meant to boost my confidence?'

'He's soooo nice,' Ace gasped, wrapping her arms
around her shoulders and giving herself a hug. 'Soooo
nice.'

'Let's go back to our room and see what happens,'
I said. 'Leave it up to me.'

Back in the bungalow, Kia was lying on her bed listening
to her iPod. She gave us a limp wave, rolled onto
her side and kept listening.

'I wonder where Micki is?' Ace said to me.

'She's down at the phone,' Kia answered.

Ace shot me a 'lucky we didn't say anything else'
look.

'Talking to her dad,' she finished.

'Talking to her dad?' I repeated. 'How do you know?'

'Because she told me,' Kia replied. 'Why? What's the
big deal?'

'Oh.' Ace went to the door and closed it. 'We
thought something may have happened – to Micki's
dad.'

'What are you doing?' I mouthed to Ace.

We had made Carla a promise and Ace was on the
way to breaking it.

'Yeah.' Kia took out her earplugs. 'He's gone to
hospital.'

'He's gone to hospital?' Ace echoed.

'How do you know?' I asked Kia.

Kia picked up her earplugs and stuffed them back in
her ears. 'My dad told me,' she replied.

Kia was acting strange. Not that there was anything
strange about Kia acting strange, but there was something
missing from the puzzle.

I tugged at Kia's pants. She almost broke my hand
she hit it so hard. 'Ow!'

'Well, don't pull at my pants.'

'Sorry.' I rubbed at my wrist, trying to remember
what I was going to say. 'Oh yeah. Does Micki know
you know her dad's in hospital?'

'Dunno.' Kia shrugged. 'I guess so.'

'What, you haven't asked her how her dad is?' I
pushed. 'Or what's wrong with him?'

'No.' Kia looked at Ace, who was pacing around the
room. 'Ask Ace. She knows what a loser he is.'

'Shh,' Ace whispered. 'She's coming.'

Micki threw open the door with a 'Guess what?'

'Is he bad?' Ace blurted. I nearly whacked her and
her big mouth.

'Huh?' Micki frowned.

'Nothing,' Ace mumbled.

'What's happened? Micki?' I said, carefully.

'I just saw Jake.'

'Is that all?' I almost said, but when she got to the
end of her announcement suddenly Micki's dad left
my mind.

'And guess what?' Micki continued. 'Three talent
scouts arrive tomorrow and are staying till Friday.'

Even Kia sat up to attention. 'Four days!' she spluttered.

'Jake wouldn't say too much,' explained Micki, 'but
he did say that their input would influence the selections.'

'That's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,' Kia
counted.

'Yes, Kia, we know the days of the week,' I said.

'So are they going to watch us the whole time?' Kia
asked.

'Probably,' Ace answered.

'Then on the last day they'll rip us to shreds,' I added.

'And send some of us home,' Kia told us.

'How do you know that?' Ace gasped.

'Oh, I don't know,' Kia said. 'I just bet that's what
they'll do.'

'But they can't,' Ace said. 'Or they would've had to
tell us beforehand. We're, we're minors!'

'Yeah,' I agreed.

'That's crap,' Ace whined. 'Total crap. Just when it
was getting fun.'

'Just when it was getting fun,' I heard myself
mumble Ace's words.

'So what time do these scouts arrive, Micki?' Kia spat.

'Lunchtime. That's what Jake said.'

The three of us watched as Ace pulled out her
phone, which was stashed underneath the mattress of
her bed. She then stomped to the bathroom and
slammed the door.

'All I said was what Jake told me,' Micki said, and
shrugged.

I shrugged back. Suddenly I wasn't in the mood for
comforting Micki or reassuring Kia or any of them for
that matter. Why couldn't surfing be all fun? Why did
there have to be competitions and scout searches and
selections?

Like a big, fat slap across the face I'd just been given
a rude reminder about what we were actually doing
here. Back at home, each day camp had got closer, the
dread in my tummy had grown heavier and heavier –
but it had turned out to be fun. I hadn't expected that.
The other thing I hadn't expected was to be surfing so
well. But I was, because apart from the first day or so I
hadn't felt that pressure. That pressure that pushed
down on me until it felt like I couldn't move.

Now the brick that had been hiding away had just
landed in my stomach with a thud. I knew what scouts
equalled. They equalled pressure, equalled failure,
equalled me having to face two of the goals stored
away in Shyan's box: get my fire back, or worse, admit I
didn't want it back.

No truth or dare. No chatting into the night. By nine-thirty
the lights were out and we were all asleep, or at
least pretending to be.

From my bed's new position, I saw Micki go into the
bathroom just before eleven. She seemed to be in there
forever. I wondered if she was crying or thinking about
her dad. Maybe it was the right moment to go in and
talk to her, to check if she was okay, but I just couldn't.
Not tonight. I had my own mind to settle.

At two am, I was still wide-eyed. I crept over to Kia's
bed and snuck her iPod from under her pillow. She
moaned a bit and mumbled 'Don't look' or something
like that but she didn't wake up.

After an early morning expression session followed by
breakfast, Jake summoned us into the rec room. We
knew what it was about. It was all anyone had been
talking about.

The butterflies thundered around in my guts. I
could feel them headbutting one another.

'Okay, girls. Settle down,' he said. 'I know the
word's out so let's talk about it before the rumours get
out of hand.'

'Is it true some of us are being sent home at the end
of the week?' Typical: Megan had her claws out. But,
really, she was just asking what all of us wanted to but
were too chicken.

'No,' Jake replied. 'That's rumour number one out
the window.'

Ace gave me a thumbs up. I reckoned the surfing
had nothing to do with why she wanted to stay.

'Three talent scouts from Surf Australia will be here
after lunch. They'll be staying until Friday morning.
That's three and a half days to show them what you
can do,' Jake told us. 'You have been graded into three
groups. Although my Starfish Sisters are group one,
that's based on the amount of competitive experience
they've had and not necessarily on pure ability.'

'Gee, thanks,' Ace called. 'We love you too, Jake.'

We all had a laugh, which was good. You could
almost see the tension falling off the girls' shoulders –
not mine, though. My shoulders were so tight they felt
like they were glued to my ears.

'What I'm trying to say, Ace, is that there is very little
between any of you. You're all elite surfers. As far as we're
concerned, you all have what it takes. But it'll be focus and
discipline that make the difference here. Get it?'

Ace was blushing. I didn't blame her, either, as Jake
pretty much directed that whole speech towards her.

Kia's hand was up and waving. 'Do we know the
scouts? Are they ones we've met on the circuit before?'

'No,' Jake replied. 'They're three fresh faces. So
there's no bias towards or against any of you.'

'And will they be the ones making the selections for
the Junior Team Training Camp?' Kia asked. 'Are you
allowed to tell us that?'

'Nothing's a secret, Kia. It's not some conspiracy,'
Jake said, laughing. 'They will put forward recommendations.
Does that answer your question?'

'Yep.'

'Good. You can stop frowning now.'

The fun had been zapped, along with my appetite. But
I didn't even feel happy about that. At lunch, I watched
my fork push my chicken salad back and forth, back
and forth across the plate.

'That's them,' Kia whispered behind her bread
roll.

Three women, all slim and smiles and white teeth,
entered the dining room. That moment had to be the
quietest one this room had ever known. Even Brian
stopped the lecture he was giving Megan over at the
salad bar.

'Do you recognise any of them?' I asked Ace.

'I'm sure the smaller one I've seen before,' she
replied. 'I can't be positive but I think it's her.'

'What's she like?' Kia was in the middle of the big
check-out.

Me, I could hardly turn my head my neck was so
stiff.

'She looks like a bitch,' Kia finished her assessment.
'So does the one in the white shorts.'

I stood up, my plate still heaped with food.

'Where are you going?' Ace asked.

'To the loo.' I tried to smile but I don't think it came
out right. 'I may be some time.'

Ace found me pacing the bungalow floor.

'I wouldn't go into the bathroom,' I warned. 'I just
deposited a gutful of butterflies in there.'

'Nice!'

'Sorry. I hope you didn't need to go.'

'No.' Ace sat on my bed and watched me.

Again I tried to make my lips turn up in a smile.

'I wanted to see if you were okay. Your skin turned a
bit white at lunch.'

'My skin is always white.'

'Well, I'm talking whiter than usual, sweetheart,'
Ace replied. 'Come on, talk to me. I'm always dumping
on you.'

'Okay. But don't ask me to sit down. I need to keep
pacing.' How could I find the right words for this? This
burden that I'd never dared unload to anyone. 'I'm
freaking out. I'm terrified. It's like I'm standing on the
corner of a street and I don't know if I should turn left
and go to Maccas or turn right and go to Subway.'

'What the hell are you talking about, Georgie?'

'I don't know if I can do this.'

'Of course you can. It's just nerves. Nerves can be a
good thing. It's just a matter of working out how to use
them. I can teach you.'

I took a deep breath and let my secret spill from the
bottom of my tummy. 'But I don't know if I want to.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't know if I want to . . .'

'Want to what, Georgie?'

Ace was frowning. I was going to have to say it.
Every single word.

'I don't know if I want to surf – competitively,
I mean.' There, I'd said it and the sky hadn't crashed
down on me. 'I'm just not sure anymore.'

'Wow,' Ace uttered. Again, 'Wow.'

I stared at the floor.
Say something – please
.

'I just, well, out of everyone, you're the last person I
expected to hear that from.'

That was it. The girl who got 8.5 wasn't meant to be
the girl who said that.

'Do you think it was bad of me to take a spot here?'

Ace sat there, her head to one side, her perfect
eyebrows scrunched up in a frown. She was thinking.
She was really thinking.

'No,' she replied.

My breath escaped, whistling through my teeth.

'No. Definitely not,' said Ace. 'You said you weren't
sure. You didn't say you absolutely knew that you
didn't want to compete. I mean, you need to be here
so you can figure it out. How else are you going to
know?'

I kept nodding. These were the things I needed to
hear. I could trust Ace to tell me the truth. We'd sorted
out the truth issues last week.
Just as well
, I thought.

'Have you been thinking this the whole time we've
been here?'

'In the beginning I was,' I told her. 'Then, well,
we've been having fun. I didn't expect it to be fun.
I guess I thought it'd be just Kia and me hanging out
together. Fun usually has an expiry date with her. And
she's so competitive with me, which makes me feel
even more guilty.'

'Just before I did my shoulder injury I felt a bit like
you,' Ace began. 'We'd moved up to the Gold Coast
and sponsors were starting to sniff around. It was all
really exciting but it was scary too, and I didn't have
anyone to talk to 'cause all my friends were back in
Mornington. Then I got a place here for a week and
ended up being picked as the wild card for the
Australian Junior Squad and got OP as a sponsor.'

'That's a big week!'

Maybe my problem wasn't as serious as I'd thought.

'Tell me about it,' Ace said. 'But I was absolutely
terrified being picked as a wild card. I mean, that is
pressure.'

'So what happened?'

'I stuffed my shoulder a couple of months before
squad training started. I was freaking out OP were
going to dump me.'

'But they didn't.'

'No.' Ace shrugged. 'They made me their model
while my shoulder got better. But it was then, when I
couldn't surf and compete, that I realised that's what
I really missed. Not being able to surf was a bit like only
having half of myself.'

'But I don't know if I'm the same as you,' I
explained. 'I love surfing. I think I'd feel like part of
me was missing too if I couldn't do it anymore. But
competitive surfing is different. It's a whole new thing.'

'What are your options?'

'I don't know that, either. I'm confused.'