Songbird (13 page)

“You call me if he gets out of hand again.
I’ll hold him down until he calms.”

I patted his arm as I released him and
reached for the door knob. “It’ll be a cold day in hell when I come
across a man I can’t face down.”

As my luck would have it Dolls of Serenity
entered with Denton and I think the assistant’s name was Gertrude.
Everyone stopped and took in my appearance and for some reason when
Gertrude went stony faced and Denton red faced, I was grateful
Henry still stood at my side.

“Stage director is waiting.” I lifted my chin
and refused to waver from their stare.

“You should be ashamed.” Gertrude waved her
hands at the girls to herd them past me. “What were you thinking?
This isn’t how a tour manager acts with their artists.”

I said nothing. As Nicholas Walker’s Tour
Manager, I was technically higher on the totem pole than these
people. I would not ruin my reputation for gossip.

Denton stopped in front of me. His red face
turned pale as he scrutinized me better. His mouth opened and
closed but no sound came out.

“Before you begin I will remind you what I do
to keep Nicholas in line is my business. You’re girls are safe as
long as they remain within the confines of their contract. Choose
your words carefully. Dolls of Serenity is receiving a huge boost
by riding on Nicholas’s coat tails.”

“You look like you’ve been crying. You’re
eyes are red.” Denton’s eyes flicked to the door I still had my
hand on. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I pushed a smile to my aching
mouth. “Take care of your girls.”

“Other than Ezra, you’ve lasted the longest
to date. Nicholas has a way of driving away even the most stubborn
people. I wish you the best of luck.” Denton nodded to Henry and
walked away.

I took a deep breath, tipped my chin to Henry
and then entered the dressing room.

“Stilts, great, I need…” Arc trailed off and
took a good look at me. “You son of a bitch.” He whirled on
Nicholas and would have attacked if Max hadn’t jumped up and
grabbed him.

Nicholas didn’t move from where he hunched on
the settee. He didn’t look at me, just slumped a little deeper into
the cushion. If he was going for being swallowed by the small piece
of furniture he might succeed. At least, if he cut off four feet of
height and fifty pounds of muscle. He was at least fully dressed
now.

“What happened?” Guy stood from where he
reclined and walked over.

“You look better.” I studied his face. There
was no bandage and the cut that had bled profusely was smaller than
my pinkie nail.

“And you don’t. Your eye makeup is all over
the place. Your lipstick is smeared off your swollen lips.” He
snatched up my hands. “And your wrists are bruised.”

“I’m going to kill you, mother fucker.” Arc
struggled in Max’s arms, trying to get at Nicholas. “You just
couldn’t resist trying. You couldn’t handle that she’s not
impressed by neither your name nor your dick.”

“Both those things
are
impressive,
Arc.” I picked at imaginary lint on my dress before meeting his
eyes with boredom and he seemed to flail before subduing. “However,
I choose to judge a man by how he acts not what he’s chosen for his
profession.”

“He hurt you,” Guy said and his voice was
tight.

I sighed. “He held me too tight that is all.
I was never in any physical danger from Nicholas. We all know
that.”

The man in question looked like he was trying
to disappear into the settee. Some of the hurt in me eased with his
guilt. I didn’t think he had been trying to scare or hurt me. I had
been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had pushed at him in
anger when I should have tried for calm instead. The bruises were
as much my fault as his.

“Arc.” Guy never took his eyes off mine. “Get
your ass over here and fix her makeup. She can’t be seen by the
stage hands like this. You do it best.”

Too late to save my dignity, but I wasn’t
going to correct him. Besides if Arc didn’t do it I would have to.
I didn’t mind letting the guys fuss just a little. I fussed over
them often enough.

“Right.” Arc ignored Nicholas and gently
tugged me away from Guy and over to the vanity table. “Close your
eyes, Stilts. Let me work my magic.”

The show was probably one of the most subdued
I’d ever seen from Nicholas. Oh, he smiled, he joked but I’d been
around long enough to know when it wasn’t genuine. He seemed tired
and beaten. Anger was a draining emotion.

“Good job guys.” I applauded them as they
came off the stage for the night. “No interviews tonight. Let’s go
get some sleep. We’re driving to San Diego tonight but then it’s an
off day.”

“Sleep in time.” Arc yawned.

“Songbird.” Nicholas spoke quietly and
reached out. Automatically I flinched back and instantly was
ashamed of the reaction. His hand dropped and the knuckles went
white when it fisted.

“Please don’t do that.” His voice grew
hoarse. “You said you knew I’d never hurt you. I can’t… Please
don’t do that.”

“Physically, yes.” I straightened and
pretended not to notice the other guys watching. “There are a lot
of ways to hurt someone, Walker. Do I need to find you a companion
for tonight when we arrive?”

His jaw ticked but he only shook his head.
“Not tonight. I’m tired.”

“Very well then. Let’s go.”

Frantic banging on my hotel room door at
three in the morning was not greeted with my happy face. When I
opened it to Nicholas wearing only his boxer briefs my grumpy face
turned into my ogre face.

We’d only been checked in for an hour. I
hadn’t showered, my pajamas were askew and I wasn’t in any kind of
mood to deal with the child that was Nicholas. He better not be
requesting I go out and get a companion or they’d find his body
floating in the bay when the sun came up.

“You have a fucking key.” My eyes dropped
with my shoulders. Fatigue gnawed at my stomach and I just wanted
to go back to bed.

“It’s your room.” Nicholas’s face looked
nervous and exhausted. “Can I come in?”

His cologne wafted from him as he passed when
I stepped back and my stomach clutched. I took a deep breath,
congratulated myself on not choking on the air, let the door fall
shut and turned to watch him.

He walked to the windows, looked out, walked
back across the room to where I still stood at the door then walked
back to the windows. Something was clearly eating at him. Too tired
to fight with him, I sat on the edge of my bed with eyes closed,
crossed my ankles and waited.

He stopped and faced me after about ten laps.
“I royally fucked up.”

“Couldn’t this wait until morning?”

“No. No. I have to say it now. I can’t sleep.
It’s bothering me. It’s eating at me. I ordered chocolate
cheesecake from room service, but it’s getting warm. I can’t touch
it.”

Well that was a surprise. Whatever was on his
mind must have been seriously guilty shit to deter his love of
sweets.

“I fucked up,” he stopped in front of me and
ran both hands through his hair.

“You’ve already established that.” I just
wanted him to get to the point so I could go back to bed. Maybe I
should remind him of the time and shove him out the door. Surely
this could wait.

“Why don’t you act like other women? I would
know what to do with you if you did.”

The question sounded rhetorical so I held my
tongue. When he dropped to his knees in front of me and buried his
face in my lap my spine stiffened but I didn’t move. His body shook
and I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening.

“Nicholas.” Lightly because he suddenly felt
very fragile, I placed my hands on his shoulders and rubbed gentle
circles. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I want to quit.” He said without moving.
“I’ve wanted to quit forever. But Ezra won’t let me. I… I hate the
fame, I hate the publicity. I hate not having a choice over my life
anymore.”

Well this was a big fucking surprise. And
yet…with his resistance to everything, was it a surprise? Some of
his behavior suddenly made startling sense.

“I treated you like shit. I treat everyone
like shit, hoping Ezra will finally get tired of it and drop me.
It’s no excuse for what I did. It… It can’t change what happened. I
shouldn’t have taken it out on you and…”

“Shush.” I bent forward to drop my head on
top of his. I closed my eyes and just held on to him for a moment.
I knew all too well what it was like to be forced into a position I
didn’t want to be in. “Let’s make a new rule.”

“I’m the only one allowed to make rules. It’s
my tour.”

“I think you owe me a free rule.”

He was silent for a long moment before
sighing dramatically. “All right. You’re right. New rule. Okay.
What’s the new rule?”

I sat up a little and cupped my hands under
his chin lifting his head. With my eyes on his I pressed my mouth
very lightly to his. I needed to prove to myself I was not scared
of him. I needed him to know, to see, I wasn’t scared of him. His
eyes darkened and lips parted in invitation. I drew back before it
could become anything more than a friendly touch. I shouldn’t have
kissed him at all but we both needed it.

“Is kissing the new rule? Because I’m totally
okay with that rule.” His voice was rough and his eyes were darker
than I’d ever seen them.

“No. That’s not the new rule. That’s thank
you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I
scared you. I’m sorry I’m an ass. I’m sorry for whatever reason you
need to not hate me.”

I laughed, ignored my twisting stomach, and
pressed another light kiss to his forehead. “That about covers all
the bases. Now, that new rule.”

“Yeah?”

“Talk to me, Nicholas. Tell me when you’re
annoyed and why. Tell me when something’s bothering you. I can
help, but I can’t fix it if I don’t know. Don’t let it build up
anymore.”

His arms came up and wrapped around my waist
pulling me to the edge of the bed and since he was sitting right
there, I had to uncross my ankles and part my knees to accommodate
his action. He pressed his face against my stomach, right under my
breasts and just held on. Damn the man was moody.

I rubbed gentle circles in his back now that
I could reach it without awkward bending. “Nicholas?”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to you.”

“That’s all I want.” While Nicholas held on I
continued to rub his back and calculate just what it would take to
fix this.

“Can I sleep in here?” he asked still not
moving but his shaking had subsided.

“Why?”

His shoulders rose and fell. “Because you
snore and it’s cute.”

“Is that why you leave your door partially
open when you go to bed at night on the bus?”

“Noticed that huh?”

I sighed and even knowing that him sleeping
in here wasn’t a good idea made the decision anyway. “Yes, you can
sleep in here.”

He rubbed his nose against my stomach.
“Thanks.”