Sledge: The Hockey Player's Secret Baby (8 page)

“There are worse things in life,” he said cryptically. I waited for him to explain what he meant, but he didn’t. “Did you get my flowers?” He gave the room another meaningful glance. It was then I realized he was looking for them.

“Oh, um, yeah.”

I didn’t want him to know about what happened with my father. The thought of all those beautiful roses destroyed in the stairwell made me feel sick.

“Where are they?”

My mind went blank. “They’re… I…” My voice broke. Tears filled my eyes. I looked away.

“What’s wrong?”

“I lost them,” I said. “They were taken from me.”

“Someone stole the flowers I bought you?”

He looked at me like I was crazy. I knew how clumsy the lie sounded. I laughed trying to force my tears away.

“Not exactly. It’s a long story. The roses were beautiful though. I really appreciate it.”

He looked down as if he didn’t believe me. Maybe he thought I tossed the roses into the trash when I saw they were from him. I cleared my throat and winced. All the vomiting I’d done earlier had left my throat incredibly sore and scratchy.

“Would you like to go downstairs and get a drink? There’s a good bubble tea place around the corner.”

“Bubble tea?”

“Yeah, it’s great. You’ll love it.”

“Okay, sure.”

I was eager to change the subject away from what happened to the flowers he’d sent. Besides, it might be easier to tell him we could never see each other again if we were in public. Doing it in private felt too intimate. I was worried Sledge would figure out how to talk me out of it. Having people around gave me a strange kind of strength. I felt safer with strangers in my presence.

“Let me just change clothes,” I said.

“Okay.”

Sledge looked for a place to sit before deciding to take a seat on the edge of my bed. I walked around the corner into the closet I shared with Astrid. Frantically, I pushed the clothes around looking for something to wear. It suddenly occurred to me that it didn’t matter what I wore. I was going to tell Sledge I could never see him again. Did I really need to look good?

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tight black sweater. I quickly ran a comb through my hair, though it did little to tame the mess. I slid on a pair of black ballet slippers and said: “All ready.”

Sledge checked me out and smiled. His reaction surprised me. I wasn’t wearing anything special.

“Let’s go,” I said awkwardly.

I led the way down the hall. As we approached the stairway I suddenly remembered the roses. They were still scattered all over the stairs. I didn’t want Sledge to see them. I’d have to explain what happened. I’m a lousy liar, so I’d probably have to resort to the truth. I wasn’t sure how Sledge would react to knowing his old coach, my dad, had destroyed the flowers once he realized they were from Sledge. I suddenly turned on my heels and headed back to the elevator.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. The elevator is better.”

“We’re only on the second floor. Stairs are probably quicker.”

“I prefer the elevator. I’m getting lazy in my old age,” I said with a smile.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re acting strange tonight.”

“Strange, how?”

I knew I sounded like a lunatic, but that didn’t stop me from trying to downplay it. Of course I only managed to dig myself in deeper by sounding even nuttier.

“You just seem uncomfortable. Did something happen? Last night you were more relaxed.”

“I’m fine. I just haven’t slept much.”

We stood in front of the elevator waiting. It took forever. By the time it arrived, we could have been in the café already.

“I really-”

“You know-”

We both spoke at the same time. We laughed and Sledge said: “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“I just wanted to say thanks for the roses. They were beautiful. I really appreciate them. Whatever happens after tonight, I want you to know I’m grateful to have met you. I’m happy you were in my life.”

“Bobbi, what are you talking about? You sound like you’re dying or something.”

The elevator doors opened and we stepped out into the lobby. It was dark now. There were a few students coming back for the night, but it was mostly quiet. Being back in the lobby made me uncomfortable. The ghost of my father still haunted the halls. I didn’t want to see him pop up again. He’d kill me if he knew I was with Sledge only a few hours after he’d warned me never to see him again.

I felt skittish like a cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs. But I also felt a bit naughty. I’d never really defied my father like this before. Part of my initial attraction to Sledge was that I knew my father would disapprove.

I looked back at him as I walked across the lobby. He was tall and handsome in a leather jacket and tight-fitting jeans. The girl that worked behind the sign-in desk turned to watch him. His eyes were on me. It felt strange to have the full attention of a man like Sledge. It made me blush.

I had to keep things in perspective. We could never be together.

I headed out the front of the building and walked around the block. Sledge trailed close behind. I ordered for the both of us and he paid. We took a seat outside and watched as people walked down the streets. It was late Sunday night. The main drag in front of the university wasn’t as busy as usual, but there were still a lot of people out.

“So, what is this?” Sledge asked, sipping his tea.

“It’s tea with milk.”

“What are these dark things at the bottom?”

“Tapioca. It’s good. Try it.”

He looked up at me skeptically as he took a drink.

“Well?” I asked.

“It’s not bad. So, what did you mean in the elevator? Why were you being so dramatic?”

I sighed. “I can’t do this Sledge. I can’t see you anymore.”

“Why not? Is there someone else?”

I debated lying and saying there was, but I knew Sledge well enough to know that would only make him more motivated to win me over. He’d want to track the guy down and kill him.

“No. You have a girlfriend and I have school. It’s not right. I’m too busy and I don’t want to become one of those girls.”

“What do you mean?”

“The kind of girl who hooks up with guys who are taken.”

“So, you have been thinking about sleeping with me?” he said with a sly smile.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

It suddenly occurred to me that Sledge may not be interested in me at all. I’d jumped to that conclusion when he invited me to his game and sent me flowers, but what if he wasn’t interested? I’d found a new way to embarrass myself.

“You’re turning red,” he said.

I put my hand to my cheek. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” he said with a smile. “You don’t need to worry about Svetlana. Our relationship isn’t that serious.”

“She said she loved you last night.”

“She was just trying to make you jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous?” My voice cracked. I took a quick sip of my drink.

“Are you jealous?”

“No, of course not. Nothing can happen between us.”

“Why not? I mean, you make it sound like it would be the end of the world. We can take things slow. This is a good start- just the two of us, enjoying the night over drinks.”

It was relaxing to be in Sledge’s presence. He made me feel safe. I looked around the streets. If my father showed up, he’d be powerless against Sledge. I looked back to him. His lip was busted and he had a bruise beneath his right eye.

“How’s your head?” I said, changing the subject. “You took quite a beating last night.”

“It’s fine.” He waved his hand in the air dismissing my question.

“Why did those guys jump you?”

He frowned and looked away. “It’s nothing.”

“What?”

He ran a hand through his hair coolly. “Nothing. We just got into an argument a couple nights ago.”

Whenever Sledge played with his hair it meant he was hiding something. It was an obvious tell. He was a horrible poker player.

“What are you hiding?”

“Why do you think I’m hiding something?”

“I can tell.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You know me too well.”

I shrugged. “Are you going to tell me what really happened?”

He looked away. “I slept with the goalie’s girlfriend. He found out and as you can imagine, he’s less than pleased about it. His friends decided to jump me to teach me a lesson.”

“In the middle of the game?” I laughed. “Serves you right.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really. You deserve it. Being in the middle of a game has never stopped you from picking a fight with a teammate. Sounds like you got a dose of your own medicine. Not to mention the fact that you fucked a teammate’s girlfriend. You deserved to get hit.”

Sledge looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I never talked like this when we were in high school. I was raised to be a good girl. No swearing. And definitely no sleeping with hockey players. Maybe Astrid was wearing off on me, or maybe I was just becoming jaded. Everything I’d been through the last year had left me a bit rough around the edges. I was a changed person.

Sledge had never met the new me. I wasn’t sure he’d like the girl I’d become very much. What I’d been through had left me changed but not necessarily for the better. The old me was still inside me somewhere, though.

Sledge crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back in his seat. “Okay, say you’re right- and just to be clear I’m not saying you’re right, but for the sake of argument…”

I laughed. “You know I’m right.”

“It wasn’t a fair fight,” he protested. “Half the team jumped me.”

“If half the team wants to kick your ass, then you probably deserve it.”

Sledge licked his lip. The red cut must have stung badly, though he didn’t show a hint of pain.

“You weren’t like this when we dated,” he said.

“Like what?”

“You were never upset when I got into a fight.”

“You don’t like it when I’m direct?”

“No, it’s not that. I like that you call me out. I need someone to keep me honest. Going pro isn’t what I thought it would be.”

“Money, fame, girls drooling all over you… you poor thing. It must be so hard.”

“Money, fame and girls aren’t everything. I can’t trust anyone. People try to get close to me because they want money or fame. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Don’t tell me you miss home. I’d rather die than go back there.”

I almost had died. The thought chilled me. If Astrid hadn’t been there to save me, I probably wouldn’t be sitting in a café, enjoying a drink with Sledge. I was starting to understand how short life can be.

I looked up from my drink. Sledge was watching me closely. Astrid’s words echoed through my head. I knew if I asked him for money he’d give it to me, no questions asked. As I stared into his hazel eyes, I knew I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t right. Sledge didn’t know it, but I’d stolen a life from him, a life he didn’t even know existed. I held my tongue and sipped my tea.

“Can I see you again?” Sledge asked.

I should have said no, but I couldn’t help myself. Sledge and Astrid were all I had. Cutting Sledge out of my life suddenly felt like a huge loss. How long could I keep this secret from him though? I found myself nodding.

“Okay, but it can’t be a date. We’re just friends.”

“I can’t be your friend, Bobbi. When I see you, I want to grab you and…” He sighed. “I’ll break up with Svetlana. Is that what you want? I’ll do it.”

“No, don’t break up with her for me. Do what you want to do. I don’t want to be responsible for ending your relationship.”

“You’re not responsible for what goes on between me and Svetlana. Our relationship is less than romantic.”

“What does that mean?”

“My agent hooked us up. He knew it would get us both a lot of good press.”

“So, it’s all fake? You’re not really dating?”

“No, she’s my girlfriend. We sleep together and hangout.”

He looked away quickly as if he suddenly realized he’d said too much. I had no desire to hear about Sledge’s sex life with Svetlana. The whole idea of a fake relationship didn’t make much sense to me either.

“So, she’s your girlfriend, but it was all orchestrated by your agent to generate publicity?”

“Basically.”

“Your life is a lot more complicated than I realized.”

“You have no idea.”

“What do you think would have happened if we hadn’t broken up?” I said, thinking out loud. I instantly regretted the question. Sledge’s face turned dark.

“You mean, what would have happened if you hadn’t dumped me for no reason? I was planning a future around you Bobbi. I thought I’d play hockey while you went to college. We’d start a life together. Then out of the blue, you tell me you never want to see me again. You just dropped me like I meant nothing to you. You wouldn’t take my calls or answer my texts. I wanted to die. A part of me almost wishes there was another guy. At least I’d have a reason.”