Sinners 01 - Branded (26 page)

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to make it better. My stepfather—”

“I swear to God if I ever see that bastard, I’ll kill him.” Cole locks the door behind
him and slams his fists into the door.

I start to sob. My lungs gasp for air as the room seems to strangle me.

“Come here,” he says. My legs won’t move so he rushes over and pulls me into his chest,
securing me with his arms. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never let him hurt you again. Ever.”

My knees give way and he swoops me into his arms, carrying me to his bed and holding
me tight. His smell, oh my God, his smell is enough to make my head spin. He didn’t
kill my brother and he’s here… here with me. My skin burns with the need for him.
My entire body aches just being this close and not giving in to the desires I know
we both have.

He wipes away my tears with his calloused hand and kisses my forehead. “Here, this
might make you feel better.” He pulls something small out of his pocket, takes my
right hand, and slides a gold band down my index finger. Instantly, I recognize it
and my heart collapses with gratitude and shock. I thought the Hole would strip the
humanity from everyone who was forced to endure this purgatory, but I’m reminded,
once again, that love can exist anywhere regardless of the circumstances.

“How…? How—?”

He stands and crosses his arms across his chest. “I watched you in the transformation
center and you were stoic throughout the entire process, didn’t even flinch when you
were branded, and everyone always screams during that part. So I’ve heard. But when
they ordered you to surrender the ring, your face changed, and for some reason I could
feel your pain. Anyway, all they do is pawn the stuff they collect. So when no one
was looking, I took it.”

He takes my face between his hands and stares into my eyes. “With everything that’s
happened, I totally forgot I even had it. But when I read your letter, I remembered.
You’re only alive and here with me now because of that ring. If you wouldn’t have
seen it, you’d be six feet underground right now.”

He’s right.

And suddenly I can’t feel my heart beat and my ears ring so loud I can’t think. Then
my voice comes out, breaking the static in my head. “Thank you from the bottom of
my heart. Thank you. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me. Not
once has anyone gone out of their way to do something even remotely nice for me. But
you knew nothing about me, yet you took a risk for me. I wish I had a way to repay
you.”

“You already did, by trusting me and letting me in.”

My gaze lowers to the floor and I take a cleansing breath. “I had to. The night before
you left, I couldn’t sleep knowing I could lose you forever, and that’s when I knew.”
I meet his gaze.

He curls his lip and tilts my face up. He pulls me in with his eyes. “You knew what?
That I would never leave you?” He kisses the top of my head, then my forehead, and
my head again.

My head explodes like a bomb. I look up and he holds my gaze. I know he can see my
pain.

“Knew what?” he repeats. He wraps his arms around me again, pulling me into him. My
nerves prevent me from speaking even though I should. “Tell me.”

“Even if it was only for a day, an hour, or a minute—I would risk everything just
so I could be with you,” I say.

His concerned face morphs into one of determination. “Do you really mean that? Are
you sure? Because if we get caught—”

“I know. And yes, I’m sure. When you were gone, all I could think about was you and
I missed you so much it hurt.”

“Shhh…” He grips me closer to his body and then softly whispers in my ear, “I’m about
to kiss you, and once I start I won’t be able to stop. Just thought I should warn
you.”

“What are you waiting for?”

That’s when I feel his lips. He kisses along my jawline, to my chin, and kisses the
corners of my mouth with such tenderness a moan escapes. He slides me closer so our
bodies are completely intertwined. I wrap my legs around him so he can’t pull away.
He exhales and I breathe him in. My pulse races to an unseen finish line.

Slowly, he leans in and presses his lips against my neck, and with every breath, he
kisses me. I wrap my arms around his head and tilt my head back as his kisses make
their way to my collarbone. I feel his hands move up my back and our breaths become
heavy between each kiss. My body starts to shake.

He takes my face in his hands, rubbing my cheekbones with his thumbs. He kisses my
forehead, my nose, and my eyelids. I open my eyes and push him in with my hands. The
room starts to spin when his eyes lock on mine, and I’m losing my mind. He leans his
face closer and closer but not close enough.

“Please. Kiss me,” I say.

He smiles his crooked smile, pauses a minute, and then brings his lips to mine. They’re
warm, gentle, and soft. My heart flutters as he runs his finger over my lips and kisses
me again. Then he pulls back, leaving my mouth yearning for more.

“What are you doing?”

“Teasing.”

“Oh no you don’t!”

I grab his head and press my lips to his. His kisses grow hungrier and more passionate
by the minute. I open my mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to gently caress mine,
and a quiet moan escapes him as I scrape my nails across his back. His mouth tastes
minty and I want more, so much more.

“Don’t stop.” I’m left breathless and even my toes start tingling.

He drops his hands from my face and slides them under my shirt, grabbing me around
the waist. He lifts me up and pushes me back onto the bed. My lips never leave his
as he lowers himself on top of me. I’m losing all control. I wrap my arms around his
neck, holding him closer, tighter so he can never leave.

His hands wrap around my hips and pull me into him as he kisses me with more intensity
than before. He’s killing me.

I need to feel his flesh, so I grab the bottom of his shirt, pull it over his head,
and throw it on the floor. I look down and my mouth drops open.
Holy muscles.
He laughs at me and shakes his head.

“That bad, huh?”

“Disgusting, actually. Mind if I grab your shirt? You looked much better when you
had it on.”

“Is that so? Well, in that case, I’ll keep it off so I can continue to gross you out…
Just don’t puke, all right?” He pushes up on his hands and winks at me.

“I’m trying my hardest to keep it down.”

“Are you really?” A flicker of concern darkens his face.

“No, silly. Lay on your back.” I can’t help but laugh as I try to pull him down.

“Why?”

I don’t answer. Instead, I roll him over, straddle him, and kiss him. Then I run my
tongue down his neck to his chest and kiss every inch in between as my fingers glide
over his biceps.

I want to feel him. I want all of him. I take his hands and place them on my shirt.
He looks at me and shakes his head.

“No, I just want to kiss you,” he says. I run my hands up and down his chest, feeling
him tremble underneath my palms.

He growls. At least I think it’s a growl. “Your turn. On your back you go!”

This time he straddles me. He interlaces his fingers through mine, guiding my arms
above my head, and holds me there while he kisses my wrists, elbows, and back to my
lips. I could kiss this boy until the day I die.

We stare at each other, more vulnerable than ever. Desire dances in his black eyes.

He runs his mouth from my collarbone to my lips, kissing every delicate area on the
way. I’m on fire. I wrap my legs around his hips and force him closer. Unleashed.

“Baby,” he says between kisses, “we can’t.” He gradually pulls my arms from around
his waist, but I pull him closer. He stops arguing and gives in, only to try again.
“Not here, not like this.” His voice is rugged with desire as he unwraps my legs from
his hips.

I pull away, breathing hard, confused.
I was just getting started.
I turn my head to the side, trying to hide the tears in my eyes.

“No, Lexi. It’s not what you think.”

“And how could you possibly know what I’m thinking?”

“You’re pretty easy to read. Would you at least look at me?” He turns my head until
it’s facing his. “Think about it. I’m your guard. We can’t risk having a baby… They’d
automatically suspect me. If they found out, they’d kill me, wait for you to deliver,
and then force you to kill our child before finishing you off,” he says as he stares
down at me from above. “I won’t put you through that.”

My mind was so wrapped up in him I totally forgot where we lived, and he’s right.
We can’t risk getting pregnant no matter how much we want
it
. I sigh in frustration and try to think over the pounding of my heart.

“This really, really sucks.”

“Yet you look relieved,” he says. He rolls off to my side and props himself up on
his elbow while using his free hand to play with my hair.

“Just relieved you still want me. I was so scared while you were gone, scared you’d
hate me or think I’m weak and disgusting.” I choke on the lump in my throat and roll
to face him. “And now, we’re stuck hiding what we are… Now I know how Claire felt
and it scares me even more.”

“Not once, ever, did I think you were any of those things.” His eyes widen with intensity
as he places his hand on my cheek. “To tell you the truth, I think you’re incredible.
I mean, look what you’ve been through—the fact that you’re still sane and functioning…”

“Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want to think about that right now… Let me soak up this
moment with you.” I roll onto my back and play with the gold band on my finger. My
ring doesn’t weigh much, yet it brings a burden of responsibility with it. My father
must’ve known the road ahead wouldn’t be easy when he gave it to me. He wouldn’t want
me to flippantly give up or give in. The inscription, as always, gives me strength
for the moment.

“So… how are we going to be able to hide this? Sutton and Bruno already suspect. And
it’s going to be really freaking hard to look at you without smiling,” I say as I
turn my head toward Cole. “No one can know about us… I can’t lose you. There’s no
way I can overcome that.”

“I know.” His smile fades into a solemn expression. “If anyone asks, just tell them
Alyssa gave it to you.”

“Hope that works.”

Banging on the door makes Cole fall off the bed. Zeus, who was lying at the foot of
the bed, begins howling. Cole’s feet get caught on Zeus as he tries to answer the
knock and I stumble to the chairs at the table. We must look ridiculous, scrambling
to look normal, but our survival depends on it. My fear wins over my sense of humor.

Cole swings open the door, looking slightly flustered. “What is it?”

“This building’s on lockdown until further notice,” a man says.

“Whose orders?” Cole asks.

“Wilson’s.”

“Great,” Cole says. Then he closes the door while shaking his head. “Looks like we’re
stuck here… damn.” He runs back to me with a hungry expression.

Another knock interrupts him and I roll my eyes. “Really! Hurry up, answer it.” He
throws on his shirt and swings open the door again. Wilson stands there looking formidable
in his uniform and polished black boots. Two other guards stand off his shoulders
in the hallway, loaded down with ammunition and large guns. My heart pounds so hard
I’m sure everyone can hear it. I can scarcely breathe for fear of him sensing my weakness.

Cole immediately salutes and steps aside. Wilson motions the two guards into Cole’s
kitchen and their hard eyes inspect me.

“This building’s been placed on lockdown. Two suspects came through here. One’s dark,
about five-foot-nine and the other is light-skinned, about six feet. They’re carrying
stolen weapons. Have you seen them or anyone suspicious come through here?” Wilson’s
commandeering voice cuts me to the core. His gaze settles on me, sitting at the table,
trying to look inconspicuous.

“No, sir,” Cole says. “I’ll keep a lookout though.”

“Shoot to kill. The last thing I need are more prisoners,” Wilson replies while keeping
his steel eyes locked on me.

They unnerve me, so I cast mine down to my feet, hoping he doesn’t inspect my room
and see the drawings on the wall.

“All night we’ll be performing random searches, so don’t expect to get much sleep,”
Wilson says. This time he turns toward Cole. “You’re still expected to repost on time
to training tomorrow.” Wilson looks over Cole’s shoulder. “What the hell is she doing
in your room?”

“I was going over the rules with her, sir. She seems to have forgotten some… Just
keeping her in line, sir.”

“Write them down. Make her read them… There’s no reason you should be having a one-on-one.
Now get her ass back to her room.”

“Yes, sir,” Cole says.

“Now,” Wilson commands.

The other two guards stare, lusty-eyed, as I stand and move toward the door. My hands
tremble at my sides as fear rushes through my veins. His narrow eyes and icy demeanor
instantly terrorize me and I’m tempted to run. My palms sweat as I turn the knob and
go to my room, praying they don’t follow.

Time
tick, tick, ticks
past. Anxiety claws at my insides, ripping holes into my sanity. It feels like I’ve
been trapped in my room forever. All I hear are doors slamming and people cursing
in the hall, along with the heavy footfalls of guards outside my door. My eyes feel
stuck wide open, and I sit on my mattress, wrapping my arms around my knees.

I lie down, attempting to fall asleep, but Cole’s words keep playing through my head.
This is our secret and no one else can know about it.
But what about Sutton and Bruno who already seem well-informed? And now I completely
understand how Claire and Mac were caught—everyone always watches you. Maybe Alyssa
was right about life in the Hole. Maybe she did have it easier knowing she’d never
have to grow up in this forsaken place.