Sinners 01 - Branded (36 page)

“No, don’t you dare blame yourself.”

My insides crumble and I have to swallow my desire to jump into his arms.
He still loves me.
Instead, I kneel down and put my arms around Zeus, who promptly licks me from my
chin up to my nose.

“Eww, Zeus!” I laugh out loud, breaking the physical tension between Cole and me for
a quick moment.

“You look hot, by the way. Not that you weren’t hot before—you definitely were—it’s
just now you’re filled out and your muscles are so damn sexy,” Cole says. He kneels
down, patting Zeus’s head too. His hands make their way to mine until we’re both kneeling,
gazing into each other’s faces and wishing for privacy.
Why does this have to be so hard?

Someone clears his throat, forcing me back to reality. Then I notice people are outright
staring at us as we hold hands.

I stand up stiffly, pulling my hands away, and shake my head. “We can’t do this. If
Keegan sees us, he’ll never let you come back.”

“Last time I checked, Sutton’s in charge—not him.” Cole steps closer. “If I want to
kiss my girlfriend, hug my girlfriend, I will and there isn’t a damn thing he can
do about it.”

“Please don’t make a scene. Things are already hard enough.”

“Babe—”

I can’t handle his pleading. I dart out so fast that I can’t remember which door I
entered. I wish I could turn around and look at him one last time, but talking to
him was enough torture for one day. I won’t choose between him and my brother.

I push through people and find the lists in the hallway. Scanning the paper, I see
my name under Keegan’s, as expected. I check and find Cole’s name under Sutton.

This is killing me. I bang my forehead on the wall in frustration and leave. I rush
back to my room and climb into my bed as the dam breaks and my tears flow freely.

This is all moving at a pace so fast I can’t keep up. I feel weak, even though I’m
strong. I feel incapable, even though I can do it. I know I’m doing the right thing
for so many reasons. It’s not just about Cole. It’s for my father, Alyssa, and so
many others I’ve seen die grisly deaths in the last few months. Now, more than ever,
I want the commander to pay for all I’ve lost. And mostly, I want to fight for those
people like me, who were branded sinners when innocent. Whatever the cost, I’ll fight.
This is as ready as I’ll ever be.

Air rushes from my lungs as his fist slams into my stomach. I double over and take
a jarring knee to my forehead. Swirling flashes of white pierce my vision as I fall
backward, covering my head to avoid the inevitable onslaught of punches.

“All right! Enough for now.” Keegan’s voice sounds satisfied.

My opponent, a stocky young man in his twenties, reaches down to me. I’m holding my
head with one hand while he pulls me up with the other. I just got my rear end handed
to me for the first time in a while. I didn’t even stand a chance.

“No worries, he won’t kill you. But he’s the best fighter we have and therefore the
best practice for you,” Keegan says as he pats my adversary on the back. “This is
Sheldon.”

I nod my head and smile weakly. “Nice to meet you, I think,” I say.

He smiles in return. He has a wide gap between his two front teeth and a large bruise
covers his cheekbone.

Keegan stands with his arm wrapped around Sheldon’s back. They look like two tough
characters with their shaved heads, tattooed arms, and bulky muscles.

“I’m assuming you’ve all met each other by now. If not, do so. As you know, I’m the
leader of this group. I expect you to do everything as a team. We’ll train together,
eat together, and yes, even sleep together. We must become one,” Keegan says.

All thirty of us, including me, stand at attention while he speaks, and we all nod
in agreement.

“We’ll continue weapons training, but our concentration will be mostly close-quarters
combat. We get to do
all
the fun stuff. Every group has an objective and ours will be to penetrate the commander’s
main residence.”

I struggle to maintain composure during this announcement. Fear creeps up my throat
and tightens like a vice around my vocal chords. I survey the group of people around
me. I don’t know anyone’s names, other than Keegan and Sheldon, although we’ve all
fought each other in rotation, but all of them look physically ready.

“As you already know, Sheldon’s the best combat trainer here, and trust me, you’ll
hate him when he’s finished with you. But remember, it’s his job to put you through
hell—to make you the best fighter you can be. I also want to take this opportunity
to introduce you to Isaac, our bomb specialist. We’ll be fighting in close quarters
for the majority of the time, but we’ll still need his expertise to conquer some aspects
of the residence. We’ll go over all of this after dinner. In the meantime, pack up
your crap and move it to wing C of the compound. You’ll all bunk together during this
part of training.”

Keegan dismisses us, and I walk back to my room to begin packing. I don’t own much—some
clothing, my ring, Alyssa’s book, and Zeus. And Zeus isn’t really mine; he just showed
up in my room late last night and comforted me while I cried. Which made me cry even
more.

I hate losing my privacy and losing my only outlet—painting. I only have one wall
left, but it seems like such a waste.
All that hard work for nothing.

“What’s wrong with you? I can hear things being thrown in your room from down the
hall. What are you so angry about?” I spin around, and Keegan stands in my room.

“I keep moving from one place to another. I never get to settle in, and I feel like
my mind is going to explode. It’s just my nerves freaking out… I’ll be okay,” I say.
I throw the last few shirts I own into a worn duffel bag and carefully place Alyssa’s
book on top.

“Well, maybe this will help. I brought you something.”

I look up again, and he’s holding an envelope.

“What’s that?” I take it into my hands, running my finger along the seam to tear it
open. Then I pull out a letter that looks like it was written a long time ago and
my eyes begin misting over.

Dear Lexi,

My daughter. My heart. By now, you’ve probably figured out what happened to me. I
apologize for keeping it hidden from you, but I hoped that in doing so, I’d protect
you against those with evil intentions. If there were any other way, I would’ve moved
heaven and earth to do it for you.

There are so many things I want to tell you about life, but I know you’re an intelligent,
brave, and compassionate young lady who will always find her way. I hope that you
love deeply, as I have loved your mother. I hope that you strive for justice and integrity
in everything you do. I hope you know that I always, ALWAYS loved you, regardless
of the path I chose for myself.

Be strong for the times ahead. Stand up for those who cannot. And remember, you can
overcome anything short of death.

Your loving Daddy

I taste the salt as the tears drip down my face and onto the letter as I read it,
over and over again. My father had faith in me, and after reading his own words, I’m
determined to end what he started so many years ago.

“Where did you get this?” I ask holding the letter against my chest.

He sits beside me and puts his arm over my shoulder. Even his eyes tear up at the
edges. “He knew he was running out of time, that one day they’d come for him. He wrote
two letters. One to you and one to me. Before he died, he made sure they were safe
with Sutton.”

“I never thought I’d hear from Dad again, and here he is encouraging me when I need
it the most.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks and hug my older brother. For the first
time since the incident with Cole, I see him as just my brother. “Thank you. This
means the world to me.” I kiss Keegan’s cheek, feeling regretful for being so angry
with him.

“I’m not always a jerk, you know. All I’m trying to do is what’s best for you, and
even though you don’t see it now, one day you will,” he says. “Besides, this could
be the last week we’re alive, and I thought you should read it before we go into battle.”
The way he finishes his sentence makes me feel guilty.

“You’re right. And here I am complaining about something that has absolutely no importance
whatsoever.” I steel myself. I stand up straight and put my shoulders back, trying
to be the soldier I know I need to become. “Do you really think we can get into the
commander’s quarters?”

“I do. We won’t all make it, of course, but it’ll be worth the cost when I put his
head on a spear for all to see. Then we’ll have the power to do things the way we
want. We’ll be able to take back everything we lost and make
them
pay.” He lifts my head with his hand and says, “Imagine that. Imagine the sweet revenge
you’ll have for your branding. For taking our father—for taking everything away from
us.” The change in his tone gives me goose bumps. His words are hard like steel and
just as cold.

“It’s not the revenge I’m interested in. I just want things to be right again. That’s
all I want.” I shrug his arm off my shoulders. The hunger for violence in his eyes
makes me uncomfortable. The brother I just recognized is again lost to the warrior
he has become. “Thank you. Thank you for giving me this.” I hold up the letter and
the tightness in my chest prevents me from saying anything more.

He takes the hint and stops in my doorway on the way out. “Oh, just so you know, in
two days we’re throwing a shindig to celebrate the revolt. Make sure you keep Cole
and his idiotic dog under control.”

My head feels scrambled. I tuck the letter inside Alyssa’s book and slide it into
my small duffel bag. I may not have much, but what I own is priceless. I motion to
Zeus, and he follows me out into the dim hallway one last time.

A complex maze of tunnels link together, forming a vast underground network that I
didn’t know existed when I first arrived. Wing C is small, though, and darker. Light
bulbs dangle intermittently along the narrow tunnels. Water drips down and mud forms,
immediately coating my boots with a thick crust.

When we finish dinner, our group chooses bunks in a damp room. The doorway opens into
a narrow hall between crude wooden bunks that line each side of the room. Metal dressers
sit in between each bunk, but they’re barely big enough for three days’ worth of clothing.
All of us—male and female—share the crowded space. Keegan takes the bed closest to
the doorway. Sheldon bunks directly across from him and winks as I pass. I take an
empty bunk at the back of the room because I don’t want to be too close to everyone.
I place my meager belongings in a metal dresser that sits next to the bed. Zeus lies
down uneasily and whines.

After settling in, we meet with Keegan in the control room. He pulls up a hologram
of the commander’s residence. It’s large, concrete, and attached to the main outer
wall of the Hole. It looks familiar, and my memory of it is validated when I realize
it’s located next to the entrance of the Hole. I saw it when Cole escorted me in.

“The doors are made of thick metal. The only way to open and close them is the keypad.
The entry into the main compound is at the top of the wall, so we’ll get there by
using a back staircase. The stairs are loaded with guards, so everyone needs to stay
sharp. Sheldon will go first and scout it out. We’ll wait for his signal and then
proceed. When we get to the doors, Isaac will detonate them. Unfortunately, we don’t
have information on what we’ll encounter once inside. Sutton was able to get a rough
map of the residence, but the copy is a few years old, so things could’ve changed.
I want every single one of you to memorize it anyway. There’re enough copies for everyone.
Look, I know it’s a lot to absorb, but we’re running out of time.” Keegan hands out
maps to each person, and everyone studies them.

“What are the other groups’ objectives? Are any of them joining forces with us?” A
girl with purple hair asks.

“Veronica, a few groups will be attacking the head training center on the ground floor
of the hospital. Others will blow holes in the outer wall to free the citizens who
can’t fight, and some will make roadblocks to prevent the guards from interfering
with the whole operation. And so on.” He continues. “One other group is supposed to
assist us, but it’s only for backup. Otherwise, we’re on our own. That’s why I selected
the best of the best for my group.” We freeze as we listen.

“What about all the innocent people in the hospital?” I ask. “We can’t just blow it
to pieces without warning them. They deserve a chance to get out.”

“That’s not our concern. Our main objective is to focus on the task at hand. That
group will worry about how to handle the situation.” Keegan glares at me, and the
others lower their eyes.

Everyone knows what he’s saying.
They
don’t have the manpower to get them all out.
They’re more concerned with disabling the guards during the main assault. Everything
else is on the back burner.

I try my best to focus after that, but my hands shake with anger. I don’t agree with
this, but there’s nothing to do. I’m powerless to change anything. I can’t even communicate
with Sutton and hesitate to try. I remain silent the rest of the night, holding in
my thoughts.

We return to our bunks, exhausted, and I curl up with Zeus and open my map. The commander’s
residence looks huge. Dread permeates my soul as I trace the hallways with my fingers
like I’m painting. Late at night, someone turns off the lights. I fall into a fitful
sleep while twirling the ring around my finger.

Two days pass, full of training and tactics. Electricity flows through the atmosphere
due to the party directly after the evening training session. We’re all ready to blow
off steam. All the late nights, concentration on maps, and combat has worn us down.
Looking into the mirror, the reflection staring back at me is ghastly. Deep, dark
shadows rest beneath my turquoise eyes, but I try to hide them with makeup. I let
my hair spill over my shoulders and glide mascara over my lashes.