Simply Complicated (26 page)

After her shower she called Candace to see if she was available for a few hours to talk. They agreed to meet at Candace’s place at noon.

“Hey girl, you sounded like you were in distress on the telephone. What’s wrong?” said Candace.

“I think Jake knows about the baby. He came over while I was asleep this morning and I think he may have seen the baby book I’ve been reading,” she said.

Candace was shocked, “You haven’t told him about the baby yet? When were you going to say something? You have to be nearly two months by now!”

“I was waiting for the right time to tell him. I figured since I haven’t really started showing yet that I had some time. I’m not sure he saw the book, but knowing him and how nosy he can be... But just in case he hasn’t seen it, I’m not sure if I should bring it up,” she said.

“Look at it this way, Camille. At some point you’re going to have to tell him and maybe even Paul. It would probably be easier to tell him now than when you’re four months and showing. Then he will be upset that you kept it from him.

“Besides, what harm can come from telling Jake? You said it yourself—it may straighten him out and make him more responsible,” she offered.

“You may be right, Candace. I think I’ll tell him tonight. After all, what’s the worst thing that can happen? I don’t think he’ll leave me.”

Candace snorted, “Don’t worry—he’s not going anywhere.”

“I guess you’re right. But what if he asks me to get an abortion? I would be so hurt. We never talked about having children.”

“You mean as much as you two have sex, you never talked about what would happen if you became pregnant?” Candace said incredulously.

“Very funny. Besides, we don’t have sex all the time. In fact, around the time I became pregnant our sex life had slowed down. He seemed a little distant then. He’s probably seeing someone else and told me he’s not just to keep me quiet,” she said.

“Have you decided if you are going to tell Paul you’re pregnant? He has a right to know that he may have fathered a child with you also,” Candace asked, trying to change the subject.

“I haven’t decided if I’ll tell him or not. Let me deal with one man at a time,” Camille said jokingly.

“I suppose you’re right,” Candace replied while laughing.

“Well, I need to get going if I’m going to talk to him about the baby. By the way, how’s Timothy doing?” she asked.

“He’s fine. He hasn’t gotten on my bad side yet,” Candace chuckled.

“That’s good. I’ll talk to you later to let you know how things went with Jake.”

Candace hugged her friend goodbye, “Be careful out there; it’s still slippery from all of that snow. I’ll talk to you later.”

Camille went home and called Jake. They only spoke briefly and agreed to have dinner later so they could talk. He wondered if she was going to tell him about the baby or ask him about Candace. She wondered if he was going to question her about disappearing over the weekend.

It was 6:30 p.m. when Jake and Camille met for dinner. Since they both had something to hide, neither knew quite how to behave.

“Hey baby, you look very nice tonight,” he said as he kissed her on the lips.

She hugged him, “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

“I missed you this weekend but I know you were probably at work getting things ready for Christmas,” he said.

He really thought she was out with Candace but was afraid to say so in case she knew of their affair.

She took this excuse and ran with it.

“Yeah, it’s been really tiring preparing for the holiday,” she said, not admitting nor denying working all weekend.

“I’m sure you can handle it. So how have you been feeling lately? Did you ever find out why you’ve been getting sick? Did you ever go to the doctor?” he gave her hints that he knew about the pregnancy.

She tried to think of a good way to tell him. She was very nervous because she didn’t know how he would respond.

She decided to stall a bit. “I’ve been feeling okay. I did go to the doctor to find out what was going on.”

“What did the doctor say?” he asked, attempting to move her along.

“I don’t know how to say this, Jake, so I guess I am just going to come right out and say it. I’m pregnant and I am keeping the baby,” she said, trying to read his reaction.

Jake laid his hand on top of hers, “Why are you just now telling me? Don’t you think I had a right to know when you first found out?”

“I wanted to tell you but I was afraid of what you would say. It hasn’t been easy for me to keep this from you. I love you Jake, but let’s be honest. You don’t want to get married, which is obvious by your lack of enthusiasm to plan something as simple as an engagement party.

“How do you think it makes me feel to be in love with you when it seems like you only proposed to prevent me from being with someone else? And then I have to go and tell you I’m pregnant.

“That’s not an easy thing to do. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep the baby. But then I realized that it’s not the baby’s fault that things are screwed up. I was going to tell you this week,” she said as tears gently rolled down her face.

“Don’t cry, baby. I know I’ve been stringing you along all this time and I’m sorry. You deserve better than this. You probably deserve someone better than me.

“I suspected that you were pregnant a few weeks ago when you became ill and then when you didn’t drink your favorite wine at the restaurant.

“Since you didn’t say anything to me, I thought maybe you were just sick with the flu. I do love you Camille, and I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me when you first found out.

“I admit...when I suspected that you were pregnant, I wasn’t sure how I felt. But now that I know you’re carrying my baby, I’m really happy.

“You’re a good person and I want to make us official for real this time if you still want me,” he said, trying to fight back the tears.

“Jake, I don’t know what to say. You promised me the last time that things were going to be different and that you wanted to get married.

“I trusted you then and I’m not sure if I can trust you again. I don’t want to wait another three years and find myself still talking about getting married.

“You don’t have to marry me because of the baby. I’ll let you be a part of the baby’s life. You can still be a good father without us being together.

“Besides, I don’t want you to think that I became pregnant on purpose just to get you to marry me,” she said as she pulled a tissue out of her purse to wipe her eyes.

“I know you wouldn’t do that. You don’t understand. I really want you this time. I really want to marry you and be a family. I need you, Camille, and I’m sorry for how I treated you before. Please don’t shut me out. I want to be a part of your life with our baby.

“I promise that you’ll be happy. Please give us another chance. You mean everything to me; I realize that now. We’ve been together too long to just throw us away. Come on, baby. What do you say?” he pleaded, trying to convince her to stay.

“I don’t know, Jake. I have to think about it. I’m really tired of this merry-go-round. We have some time before the baby is born to make a decision. I’m only six weeks into the pregnancy,” she said.

“I know you’re tired and you should be. If you agree to give me another chance, I was thinking we could get married around your birthday in February. That will give us three months to organize everything,” he said, hoping this would make her realize he was serious.

“That sounds good but I still need some time to think about it,” she replied cautiously.

He was really surprised. He thought if he mentioned getting married in three months, she would be happy. He really expected her to change her mind and immediately say yes.

“Okay baby. I just don’t want to lose you. When you make up your mind, let me know. So does this mean we’re no longer together now?” he asked, looking worried.

“Honestly, I’m not sure what it means. I still love you but now that a baby is involved, I don’t want to put a child in the middle of this confusion,” she said.

“Having a baby should bring us together, not separate us, Camille. If February is too late, let’s elope! We can get married on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I don’t care just as long as we’re together as a family,” he said, fervently trying to get her to change her mind.

“I don’t know, Jake. I’m scared. If you had felt this way when we got back together then we wouldn’t be in this situation now. It seems that you only want to be with me because of the baby. What kind of marriage will we have if we only do it because I’m pregnant?

“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you trying to do the honorable thing, but keeping your word when you first proposed would’ve been honorable also. I just don’t know if I can trust you to fully commit to me,” she said, obviously worried.

“Do you love me, Camille?” he asked as he grabbed her hand.

“Yes I do, Jake.”

“Then that’s all I need to know. All I am asking is that you give it some serious thought. I’ll plan everything. If you don’t want to elope we can have a small ceremony at my house. I’ll arrange the caterer, florist, and minister.

“I’ll give you whatever money you need to buy your wedding dress and accessories. Just say the word and everything is a go. It took some growing up on my part, baby, but I’m really ready to do this,” he said, giving it one last attempt to get a solid answer from her.

He and Camille finished their dinner and went their separate ways. On her way home she called Candace to discuss everything. She decided that she wouldn’t tell her about her weekend with Paul. She only wanted to get Candace’s advice on what to do about Jake.

She really wanted to tell him yes at the restaurant but she thought getting someone else’s opinion would help. Who better to talk to than her best friend? They met at Camille’s apartment.

“Now what’s going on, Camille?” asked Candace.

“I told Jake about the baby tonight.”

“So what did he say? How did he react?” she asked.

“Well, he asked why I didn’t tell him when I first learned I was pregnant. Then he told me that he wanted us to get married on my birthday.

“When I explained that I had to think about it because I find it hard to trust him, he said he wanted to get married this Christmas at his house.

“I don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do love him and suppose I’ve been waiting for this moment for three years, but now that it’s happened, I’m not as excited as I thought I would be.”

“Wow, Camille! That’s a lot to think about. Look at it this way: you love him and you’re already engaged to marry him. Why not make it official since he’s ready?

“The only way I would say no is if there was someone else you want to marry or be with,” she said, waiting to see if Camille was going to mention Paul.

Camille did not know what to say. She loved Paul and deep down knew he was the better man for her, but her loyalty and vulnerability to Jake was much too strong.

If she married Jake she knew she could no longer see Paul. She wasn’t sure she wanted to stop seeing him. She also knew if she married Jake that she could never mention the possibility that Paul is the baby’s father.

“No; there’s no one else I want to marry. That’s not why I can’t make up my mind. I just don’t know if Jake is a changed man. He sounded sincere but I think he only wants to do this because of the baby, though he tried to assure me otherwise,” she said, trying to sound convincing.

“Okay Camille, since you don’t want to bring him up I will. What about Paul? There is the possibility that he’s the baby’s father. Where does he fit in all of this?

“It seems pretty unfair to me to exclude him. He has a right to know that he may have fathered a child with you,” Candace tried not to sound condemning.

Camille looked stressed, “Thanks a lot. As if I didn’t have enough to think about, you go and make me feel guilty,” she said.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I was just wondering if you have given him any consideration, that’s all. Whatever decision you make, I’ll be here to support you. Just let me know what you decide,” Candace wrapped her arms around the shaken Camille and hugged her tightly.

“Thanks, Candace. I really appreciate and value our friendship. It’s not often a woman can tell her girlfriend about her relationships without her getting jealous or trying to steal her man.

“Considering the way you and I met, you’ve proven yourself to be a true friend. You’re like a sister to me.”

Candace started feeling really guilty. She hoped Camille would never find out that she betrayed her trust and loyalty by sleeping with Jake. Camille was the only true girlfriend she had and she knew that what she did was unforgivable.

“I need to get home. Timothy is supposed to meet me there in twenty minutes. I know you’ll make the right decision. Remember—whatever you decide, I’ll be there,” she gave Camille one last squeeze and walked to the door.

After Candace left, Camille felt it was time for bed; her weekend had been very busy and she had to get to work early in the morning.

In the meantime, Jake was at home trying to figure out what went wrong
. It can’t be over with us. Why is she acting like this? I just knew if I told her we could get married next month that she would say yes. She never acts this way. Am I losing her? Have I already lost her?