Authors: John Luke Robertson
A WILD JACKALOPE
may be on the loose, but your first priority has to be making sure Wade is okay. You try warning the others through your microphone, but communication doesn’t seem to be going through from this part of the ship. Wade’s moaning and mumbling about being speared with little antlers and then bitten. His face looks kind of . . . messy.
“Man, this ain’t nothin’,” you tell him, trying to offer some encouragement. “I saw worse things in ’Nam.”
“Did you ever see someone attacked by a killer baby jackalope?” Wade shouts.
“Nah. You got me on that one.”
You help him up and try to find something to wipe his face with. There’s some kind of garment or blanket in the corner that you give to him.
“Hey, the good news is that you can breathe in this spaceship even though your helmet’s destroyed,” you tell him.
“Get me out of here!”
“We take you outside, you’re gonna die,” you tell him. “We gotta get you another helmet. Maybe a rabies shot too.”
He doesn’t find that very funny.
You try the microphone again. “Commander Noble, you guys copy? Anybody out there? SOS? Hello, is there anybody
out there
?”
Nothing.
Wade’s beginning to get loopy. “I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die out here, bit by a bunny!”
“Nobody’s dying, okay, Jack? Got it? Come on. What’s that Journey song? ‘Don’t stop believin’! Hold on to that feelin’! Duh-duh, duh-duh . . . small-town boy . . .’” That’s all you got.
Wade’s shaking his head, delirious, appearing seriously cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. “That’s it, man. Game over, man, game over! What are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?”
You’re singing Journey, trying to calm him, but it’s not working.
“If you don’t stop singing, I’m gonna explode,” he shouts.
“Easy, killer.”
Yes, Wade’s definitely turning aggressive and crazy.
“Come on
—let’s get to the entryway. I’ll help you.” You pull Wade up and drag him toward the ship’s exit but sit him in a corner before you get too close to the door. “Stay here for
now. I’m going to step outside, try to phone the others. We need to figure how you’re supposed to breathe out there.”
For a moment after you step through the door, you expect to see the jackalope. Or maybe his family and friends. But you don’t see anything except a dark, barren moonscape.
“Commander Noble? John Luke? You guys copy?”
Good thing for you
—and
really
good thing for Wade
—they do copy.
An hour later, you get back to the
DC Enterprise
. John Luke and Commander Noble came to retrieve you, bringing Wade a special space suit designed for the wounded. The three of you help him into the
Enterprise
. You haven’t had time to explain what happened to him because you don’t really
know
what happened! You’re wondering if it’s all in your mind. But Wade is clearly wounded, so nope. Not all in your mind.
Once you’re back on the ship, Wade is taken to the infirmary and treated by Ashley Jones, the science officer. You take off your space suit and join the rest of the crew to debrief.
“It was a small alien life-form that attacked him,” you tell the crew.
“What kind of alien life-form?” Ben Parkhurst asks.
Well, uh, you see . . . Um, the truth is . . .
“Far out there,” you answer. “Like,
really
far out.”
Lots of questions come your way, so many that you can’t
answer them all at once. No, you didn’t find any other living things on the ship, just skeletons. Yes, the alien seemed violent (and cuddly!). No, you didn’t get bitten. Yes, the alien got away (and you think it was hopping!).
“So, Silas,” Commander Noble eventually says, “what are we dealing with here? The truth. You’ve been saying a lot of nothing. Just tell us.”
Do you tell them the truth?
Go here
.
Do you describe the jackalope in a vague, safe way?
Go here
.
“HEY, JACK,
if there’s someone in trouble, then help is my middle name,” you say.
Everybody looks at you like they’re confused.
“I think he’s meaning to say
providing
help is his middle name,” John Luke says.
“That’s right. I got the red cape on and the blue tights.”
“Sounds sort of scary,” Commander Noble says.
“Si in tights,” Pilot Parkhurst laughs. “Yes. The world isn’t ready.”
“Universe,” you say. “We’re talking universe.”
“Ben, what’s our best option here?” Noble says.
“Can I parachute?” you ask.
Nobody thinks that’s funny. You win some and you lose some.
“Sir, we haven’t tested it,” Parkhurst says, “but the ship has the capability to perform a horizontal drop and removal. It’s essentially the same as a landing, just a little quicker.”
The crew waits and watches to see what the commander will say. Franco eats his cereal, Ashley looks over the reports in her hands, and Commander Noble stands and stares at you.
“I approve of this decision,” he finally concedes. “But I have to tell all of you
—the lives of everybody on this ship may be endangered if we head to that moon.”
“And we might be leaving some stranded souls behind on some weird moon if we don’t see what’s happening,” you remind him. Wasn’t he the one who wanted to respond to the signal in the first place?
“Agreed,” Noble says. “But, Silas
—I need you to come out into the unknown with me.”
“Man, I’ve been dealin’ with the unknown ever since I first started working at Duck Commander.”
“We’ll give it an hour,” the commander announces. “Then I want everyone suited up and ready to go.”
Shortly before the descent begins, John Luke asks if you’re sure about this.
“We don’t know who’s making that distress signal. Couldn’t it be an alien?”
“Jep could be an alien too,” you say. “You just don’t know with anybody these days. Humanoids and thyroids and all kinds of ’roids.”
“I think you mean androids, not thyroids,” John Luke says.
“Yep, those too!”
“Then I’ll come outside with you.”
“Nope. You stay in here. Gotta respect your parents’ wishes.”
“What if something happens to you?”
You take a sip of iced tea from your cup. Being the sponsor means they have unsweetened tea on board. All you can drink. But you can’t bring it to Phobos with you.
“Use the focus, John Luke.”
“You mean force?”
“No, I mean focus. You don’t want the dark sight.”
John Luke shakes his head. You wonder what it is you said.
The landing only takes about ten minutes, but it seems to go on forever. The shaking and motion feel different. As they should, maybe. It’s amazing that a massive machine like the
DC Enterprise
can also be handled and flown like some small twin-engine plane.
When Commander Noble gives the okay, you and John Luke unbuckle and head to the entrance/exit lift.
“I want to go with you guys,” John Luke says again.
You give Noble a look. He shakes his head as if it’s not a good idea.
“What’s it look like out there?” you ask.
“Mostly rock,” Ashley Jones says. “Subzero temperatures. Dangerous. Very difficult to sustain life outside.”
“But you got an SOS, right?”
“Yes. And signs of life. The gang back home will be
very
interested to see what we find.”
“I’ll stay right with you guys,” John Luke says. “I promise.”
Do you let John Luke come with you?
Go here
.
Do you make John Luke stay behind in the spaceship?
Go here
.