Shadow of Shame: Book 1 of the Shadow series (13 page)

“Ivy will be up and about in a few days, and I’m going to make sure she continues to see Zoe, since she’s behind in her speech, and I know Ivy can help her. She’s been working with children her age for some time at church. You see, we’ve always done more with the children than just teach them the Bible. We believe in seeing to their physical needs as well as their spiritual needs.”

“I like that,” Jonas said. He felt relieved after having confessed all to Ivy’s father, and he was so glad he had. Now he felt like he might actually be able to put it behind him. No way would he let Satan win.

“Now,” Hiram said, “I’d like to find that Boyd Egan and give him a piece of my mind.”

Jonas leaned against the fence watching his newest colt. She could barely stand last week, and now she owned the corral, with her mother looking serenely on. Jonas wondered if someday he’d watch his Zoe go off on her own, too. He hoped it wouldn't be for a long time yet.

He pulled his collar up against the cold breeze, and turned to the sound of someone coming down the path in a buggy. It was Ivy. Just the opportunity he’d yearned for. After much thought, and a lot of prayer, he knew he had to apologize for his cruel words that day at her house. He was sure she’d understand why he had to say those things. He wondered, though, why she was driving a buggy instead of riding Lucky.

He waved, but she seemed to look right through him. He approached as she alighted from the buggy, but she didn’t even smile or greet him.

“Hello, Ivy,” he greeted. “Just the person I need to talk to. I’d like to—”

“I’m here to pick up Zoe,” she said. “Would it be permissable for her to come to my home for our lessons today?”

She spoke coolly to him, so he knew she was still angry. “If you let me explain about the other day—” he started to say.

“I think you've said more than enough already, Jonas. I’ve moved on,” she said. “Will you bring Zoe out, or should I knock on the door and have Ingrid get her?”

So that’s how it’s going to be, Jonas thought. She isn’t quite as perfect as he’d thought. She has a few flaws afterall—she’s unforgiving, holds a grudge, and interrupts.

Jonas nodded and walked into the house. He came out moments later with Zoe, all bundled up in a red coat and white, knit cap.

Jonas waved them off. He felt like he'd been let down. He’d hoped that her father would have told her about the other day, and how he'd promised to stop living in the past, and that her father had approved of him, and even of the two of them as a couple.

One of the last things the reverend had said was that he would let them work things out, and that he'd not interfere in their relationship. He must have meant it, Jonas thought.

Now instead of dwelling on his past, he was reliving a fall day out in the fields, and two kisses that turned his world upside down.

Not long after Zoe had left with Ivy, his father stopped by, riding the same horse he’d had for years.

“Are you still riding that old nag?” Jonas asked. “You can have your pick of any horse here, you know.”

“I know,” he said, sliding from his horse. “I will one day. My nag and I are quite fond of each other.”

“Don’t let Phoebe hear you calling her a nag,” Jonas said with a wink.

“Oh! That
would
put me in the doghouse,” George replied.

“What’s up?” Jonas asked.

“I’ve been visiting all the bars in town, and it seems that everyone has heard of Mr. E., but no one knows his real name. No one has a good word to say about him, either.”

“Did anyone tell you what time of day he usually comes in? Maybe we could catch him that way,” Jonas suggested.

“Nah, they say he comes around at all times and that he hasn’t been in for a few weeks now. Maybe he's left town.” George walked toward the stables. “Let’s see what you have.”

Jonas showed him several horses, but at the end of the tour his father said, “I’d take any of them, but I’ll keep my nag a while longer. Maybe I’ll put her out to pasture in the spring and select a new horse then.

“Five years ago I thought I’d never be saying this, but I'm proud of you Jonas. You've really managed to grow your business. Are you making any money?”

“Some. I have to do another auction in the spring, and I usually do pretty well at them. I have people coming from all over the state who’ve heard about my stock.”

“Fantastic,” George said. “Hey, where’s my granddaughter?”

“Ivy picked her up. She’s helping Zoe with her speech.”

“That’s very generous of her,” George said.

“I might be coming back to your church because Trinity might be merging with Grace, since their numbers are dwindling,” Jonas said, stroking George’s nag.

“You know, this nag of yours would be perfect to teach Zoe how to ride—she’s really very docile,” Jonas said.

“Nah, you need a pony for her. She’s too small to ride my nag.”

“You just won’t part with her, will you?”

“Nope. Not even for Zoe.”

Jonas laughed. “I thought maybe it would work.”

“I’m on to you, son.” He slapped Jonas on the back, with a hardy laugh.

“So you say your church is merging? Well then, I guess I’ll be seeing you in church. Will you be doing the music?” George asked.

“Reverend Jeffries has offered me the job. I’m considering it.”

“Well, I’m glad to see all those music lessons didn’t go to waste, and that you’re using them for the Lord. You've surely made me proud.”

Jonas smiled. “Thank you, father. Your words mean a lot to me.”

“I suppose looking for Mr. E. is like looking for a needle in a haystack?” Jonas asked.

“It looks that way. I still have some resources. A few of the people who know of him said they’d contact me if he showed up.” George mounted his horse. “I’ll come back later in the week to spoil Zoe.”

Jonas laughed and waved him off.

No sooner had the dust cleared from his father’s departure, than Ivy’s buggy headed up the drive. Jonas waved, walked over to the passenger's side of the buggy when it stopped, and held out his arms. “Zoe!”

“Papa!” She threw her arms around his neck. “We saw a bad man.”

Jonas was shocked by two things at once. First, it was Zoe’s first sentence, and second was that she'd seen a bad person. He looked at Ivy. “What?”

“Mr. Simmons at the general store was a bit rude. Zoe became a bit frightened by his crankiness. She got over it quickly. It was nothing, really. We had an otherwise good day.” Ivy proceeded to turn her buggy around and face the road. “I’ll pick her up again the day after tomorrow,” she said before rumbling away.

“Zoe, what did Mr. Simmons say?” Jonas asked.

“I dunno. He’s a bad man, Papa.”

“Is that what Miss Ivy told you?”

“Yeth. He make me cry.”

The incident may have been nothing, but it bothered Jonas that someone could upset his daughter. Was it his past or her race?  After taking Zoe inside he hopped on a horse and road into town.

He entered the general store and picked out several large crates of feed, several expensive pairs of boots, and an expensive, silver buckle.

“Hello, Otto. Are you having a rough day? You look at bit upset,” Jonas said.

“I had a horrible day. First thing this morning, Mrs. Johnson came in and bartered with me for an hour. Then my wife stopped by to tell me that my dog had died. Then, to cap it off, Ivy Jeffries comes in with a colored kid. By then I’d had it, I tell you,” Otto Simmons said, as he added up Jonas’s purchases, grinning when he saw the price of Jonas’s selections combined.

“Why would you be angry about a colored child?” Jonas asked, unable to believe what he’d heard. He didn't know how, but he was able to keep the disgust from his voice.

“I don’t want any coloreds or Indians in my store. They steal things. And to top it off, that Ivy Jeffries in her high and mighty way, told me to take my merchandise and stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine,” he said. “She's a very rude lady.”

“That will be one hundred fifty dollars,” Otto said.

“I have to agree with Miss Jeffries.
My daughter
would never steal anything!” Jonas could not hold his temper back any longer. “And you can’t blame a whole race for the acts of a few. My daughter is only four. How in the world could she possibly be a threat to you or anyone else, for that matter?”

“Your
what
?” Otto said.

“That colored girl is my daughter, and if she isn’t allowed in your store, well then, neither am I. I no longer want those purchases. From now on I’ll do my shopping elsewhere. Shame on you, Mr. Simmons.” He said these last words over his shoulder as he left the store.

As he rode home, his fury heightened. He didn’t think the people of Abilene would discriminate like that. As far as he knew Samson had been treated fairly here. Then again, maybe not. He began to fear for poor Zoe. Not only was she doomed to live down her strange relationship with him, but now she'd have to defend her race as well.

Ivy wasted no time telling her father about the incident with Mr. Simmons. Within minutes after hearing the story, he went to the general store and faced Mr. Simmons over the incident. He told Ivy that he’d expressed to Simmons that because of his discrimination, their family would not shop in his store, and when he mentioned it to his parishioners, he might lose even more business. He also promised Ivy that he’d have a talk with his congregation and make sure none of them felt like Mr. Simmons. He said that he would not stand for it.

Hiram Jeffries stood at his pulpit with his family sitting in the first row as he addressed his congregation.

“Today, my sermon will be a bit different than usual. You see, I found enough in Abilene this week to fill a whole sermon. First, I will tell you that the merger between Grace and Trinity will begin next Sunday. The minister there, Reverent Shields, is retiring. We are very fortunate to get, in that merger, one of the best music directors according to Trinity Church. But before I tell you who he is, I want to tell you his story of redemption because it is one of the most touching stories I’ve heard since becoming a minister.”

Ivy smiled. She knew her father was going to do this, and she was thrilled. Even though she was angry with Jonas, she still loved him. She listened attentively to every word her father said about Jonas. She hadn't been sure how much Jonas had confided to her father that day, but it seemed he told him everything. She watched the congregation for looks of disapproval or indignation, but she saw just the opposite. Several women were even wiping their eyes with handkerchiefs.

Ivy held back a gasp when she heard what her father said at the end of his sermon. She hadn’t known that Jonas had wept on her father’s shoulder afterwards. Her heart pounded with love for him and for her father. All he’d told her was that Jonas had confided his past and that he had given him a mini-sermon on redemption and guilt. He’d said that Jonas would no longer be carrying the burden of guilt.

“This man is Jonas Armstrong, and I can’t say enough good things about him. He has my utmost respect, and I know that you will treat him with the same esteem. His daughter, Zoe, is the light of his life. She is as welcome here as anyone, and if anyone has a problem with her race, please see me after the service.

“Now, for part two of today’s sermon.” Hiram told his congregation the story of what had happened to Ivy and Zoe in one of the businesses in town, though he didn’t mention the store or the person.

“Now, I suppose some of you may think that discrimination isn’t mentioned in the Bible, and that God doesn’t frown on it. Well, think again. He says in Galatians: ‘There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.’”

One of the men in the back stood up, and Ivy felt a lump grow in her throat. She hoped it wasn’t trouble.

“Yes?” Hiram said.

The man shouted loudly and shook his fists. “I think we should know the name of the business that did this, so we can all stay away from it. We need to teach this person a lesson.”

Hiram seemed to be thinking, as if he were noting the number of people in the congregation who were nodding at the man’s words. He’d never seen so many frowns and creased foreheads. “I’ll tell you that his store is the only one that sells livestock feed,” he said. The man who’d stood, resumed his seat with a smile and a nod.

Hiram continued. “I also spoke with the owner of the dry goods store, and he will start ordering livestock feed. Isn’t that right, Elmer Prinkley?”

Elmer stood and held up his hand. “My first shipment arrives on Wednesday.”

“Before I dismiss church today, I need to say again that if there is anyone who disagrees with today’s sermon, they should see me immediately after the service.” Reverend Jeffries then gave the benediction and dismissed church.

Ivy noticed that no one stayed behind to talk to her father. When everyone had gone, she walked up to him and gave him a hug. “You were wonderful, Father. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Ivy. Now, I think you need to fix whatever is wrong between you and Jonas.”

“How did you know there was something wrong between us?” she asked.

“Easy. I gave him permission to court you, and he hasn’t made one move toward doing so. Then you decide to bring Zoe home for her lessons,” he said. “But I’m not going to pry. I’m staying out of it. Whether it’s for friendship or something more, you need to fix it, because next Sunday he'll be a valued member of Grace Church.”

Ivy thought about her father’s words. How could she forgive Jonas for saying the kiss was a mistake, and that it meant nothing more to him other than he needed more self control? Had he any idea how much his words had hurt her?

She also realized that if she accepted him as a mere friend, it would be physical and mental torture. To be near him and not be, able to touch him or—she had to stop thinking this way.

She really had no choice. Her father would be angry with her if she didn’t at least try to be friends with Jonas, but there was no way she was going to apologize to
him
. He had to be the one to apologize. She remembered his wanting to talk to her the other day, but she'd rudely cut him off. He’d wanted to talk. There was a good chance he would have apologized, had she given him the opportunity. Then she’d clear the air and make it known they would just remain friends. She’d never again make the mistake of letting her real feelings for him show, since he evidently didn’t feel the same

When Ivy barrelled down Jonas’s lane, he waved at her, and then went into the house. Ivy sat in the buggy wondering why he’d left so abruptly. A few minutes later, he returned with Zoe. “Here she is,” he said.

What should she say or do? She’d planned on working with Zoe here. His face held no hint as to his feelings. She had to give him a chance to talk to her.

“I thought maybe I’d work with her here today. Is that all right? It’s a lot of traveling going back and forth and the roads are a bit icy,” she said.

“That’s fine. C’mon in,” he said blandly, and led Zoe inside with Ivy trailing behind her.

“Will you want to work in the sitting room or my office?” he asked. He took both Zoe’s and Ivy’s coats, and hung them on a hook near the kitchen door.

“The sitting room is fine,” she said. She hadn’t noticed the piano on the far wall the last time she was inside. “Is that yours?” she asked, and immediately berated herself—of course it was his. She felt foolish for having asked.

“Yes, all mine.” He smiled.

“Before you leave,” Ivy said, “could you play Jesus Loves Me? I’m teaching it to Zoe, and since I’m not a good singer—”

“Of course,” he said. “I’d love for Zoe to learn that song. I wish I’d have thought of it.” He picked Zoe up and sat her on the piano bench beside him. He warmed up a bit by doing some scales, and then he played the song once through. Then the second time he played it, he also sang the words.

He sang beautifully. Ivy felt goose bumps all over at the sound of his clear tenor voice. She noticed Zoe enthralled with his playing and singing.

Ivy walked closer to the piano so she could watch Zoe’s face. Jonas looked up as he played and caught her eye. She nodded toward Zoe, and Jonas turned to see her wide-eyed and mesmerized.

When the song was over, Zoe cried, “Again! Again!”

Jonas hugged her. “One more time, sweetpea, then Papa has to get out of Miss Ivy’s way so she can work with you.”

“You don’t
have
to leave.” The words came out of Ivy’s mouth before she could stop them.

He looked up at her. “I just figured you would want that.”

“Not necessarily,” she said. “In fact, if you have the time, you could help me with her lessons.”

“I have to admit—you’re doing a fine job. She’s actually talking in sentences, unless she’s really tired, that is,” he said.

All the while he was speaking with Ivy, Zoe was saying, “Again! Again!”

“All right. Ready?” And he played and sang again. At the end of the song, Zoe said, “Again! Again!”

Jonas laughed, grabbed her, and tossed her into the air. “You like Papa’s playing and singing? If I'd have known, I would have played for you before.” He kissed her forehead. “From now on I’ll play and sing for you every night before bedtime.”

“No story?” she said, noticeably disappointed.

“Well, if you're very good, you can have a story too,” he said.

Ivy’s heart felt squeezed whenever she saw the interaction between father and daughter, but it was not without a bit of jealousy. How she wished he’d look at her as he did Zoe. She remembered the day they’d kissed, and corrected her last thought. He
had
looked at her like that on the day they'd kissed. Yet he'd claimed it meant nothing? Now she wondered why he would have lied to her. He
had
felt something. He had to. It was written all over his face that day. Why had he said the kiss meant nothing to him, then?

Ivy had pictures of everyday objects which she held up for Zoe to identify. She was smart and learned fast. Next, Ivy had her repeat simple sentences. The boy has the ball. The girl went home. Then she pulled out flash cards of verbs, and showed Zoe how the verbs interacted with the pictures of nouns. Zoe excelled in the lesson, and Jonas looked on with approval and a bit of fatherly pride.

Ingrid stuck her head into the room. “I have her lunch ready when her lesson's over.”

“She’s finished for today,” Ivy said.

“Good. You and Jonas are invited to lunch as well. Zoe would be in her glory if you both accepted the invitation.”

How could either refuse?

As they were eating, Ivy said, “Oh, I forgot to ask you, Jonas. We’re planning a nativity play for Christmas Eve, and someone suggested Zoe to be the Baby Jesus.” Jonas started to answer but Ivy held her hand up. “Wait, I know she’ll be five In March, but we don’t know how old Jesus was when the Wise Men arrived, do we? And all she has to do is lay in the manger.”

“If you think she’d be fine,” Jonas said, “I suppose it’s all right with me, but you really need to ask Zoe.” He winked.

“Zoe, would you like to be Baby Jesus in the Christmas play?”

“Yeth.”

“Zoe, can you say that word the way we practiced?” Ivy prompted.

Ivy smiled. “Yes-s.”

“So that settles that,” Ivy said. “She won’t have to come to any rehearsals except the dress rehearsal the day before Christmas Eve.”

Ivy watched Zoe putting her vegetables into Jonas’s mouth, and Jonas mildly scolding her, telling her that he was already big and strong, and it was she who needed to eat them. The repartee between them made Ivy laugh several times. How she enjoyed being with them both. Jonas was an exceptionally good man, indeed. He loved this child as if she were his own flesh and blood—better even—since she’d seen many real fathers not show as much love for his child as Jonas did for Zoe.

After lunch, Ingrid took Zoe for playtime in her room since it was too cold to go outside.

Jonas jumped up. “I’ll walk you to your buggy,” he said.

He must have noticed her face fall when he said that, because he added, “That is, if you’re leaving now. You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to suggest that you leave.”

“We really need to talk, Jonas,” Ivy said.

She noticed Jonas’s closed face again. “In my office or in the sitting room?”

“Is there a difference?” she asked.

“Well,” he said. “The office is for serious, sometimes unpleasant business, and the sitting room is for
friendly
chats.”

“Oh. Then I choose the sitting room.” Ivy inwardly applauded the clever way Jonas had to determine the mood of the talk.

He smiled at her for the first time in so long, and she felt herself grow warm all over. The fact that a simple smile from him could do that to her spoke volumes. She was definitely in love.

Once they were both seated in the sitting room, she on one end of the sofa and he on the other, he said, “What would you like to talk about?”

“The first day I came here to pick up Zoe, last week, you started to tell me that you wanted to talk to me. I rudely cut you off, and I apologize. I’d like to hear what you were going to say.”