Shadow of Shame: Book 1 of the Shadow series (11 page)

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes, but please don’t let go of me. I can’t put any pressure on my left foot.”

Ivy thought to take full advantage of the situation, since it had presented itself so perfectly. She put her arm around his neck, and felt tremors throughout her entire body. This was the closest she’d ever been to him, and it was making her feel strange inside. Was it because she was doing something forbidden, or because she’d fallen in love with him? She felt herself being pulled even closer to him, but she wasn’t sure who was doing the pulling.

She felt his breath on her cheek, and wished she could stay in his arms forever.

Jonas couldn’t resist pulling her even closer to him when she put her arm around his neck. It had been five years since he’d been this close to any woman. Of all the women, it had to be the one with whom he'd had the least resistance. He wondered if she felt the same magnetism he did. If he picked his head up, his chin would rest on her head, but he had his head down, looking at her ankle, so his lips were almost touching her cheek. He said, “I’ll try to get you back to the ranch by carrying you if I have to.” He kissed her cheek swiftly.

When he’d pecked her cheek, she’d leaned even closer to him, and turned her head up to look up at him. Her lips were right there—and they were so tempting, and just an inch from his lips. God help him! He couldn’t help himself. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her. He had only meant to give her a peck, but she moved her hands to the back of his head and actually held his lips to hers. When she fervently returned the kiss, he lost all desire to resist, and thought he’d died and gone to heaven. Before he knew it, both of his arms were around her, and he pulled her close. Somehow her mouth opened, and before he could stop it, his tongue was inside her mouth, searching—for what he didn’t know.

He knew he should stop, but it felt so good. Her lips and mouth felt so warm, and the way she responded was glorious. She followed his lead, and began searching his mouth with her tongue. He prayed for help. He’d lost all willpower. When he finally pulled away gently, he saw that her eyes were closed, and she had a look of desire on her face that told him she felt the same way. For some reason, he suddenly lost all control, and he dove back for another kiss. He thought he’d never be able to stop. Why didn’t she stop him? He felt as though his insides were being sucked through a tunnel that wouldn’t let him leave.

Ivy had moaned when he went back for the second kiss. She caressed his neck, and then her hands slowly moved to caress his chest. Before he knew it, her hands had slid around his waist. The movement jolted him back into control. This had to stop. He couldn’t take any more. He'd promised God he’d never take advantage of another woman. He gently pulled her arms from his waist and held her away from him, still supporting her with his hip so she wouldn’t fall.

“I’m sorry for that, Ivy. That should never have happened. I guess my willpower is weak.”

She smiled. “I’m not one bit sorry, Jonas. Do you know that was my very first kiss? Well, besides a peck on the cheek from a boy in Leavenworth.” She looked up into his face and said softly. “Let yourself enjoy life, and romance again, Jonas. Don’t be afraid to love again.”

“This can’t be. We can never be. I made a promise to God that I’d never take advantage of a woman again. And here I am doing that very thing.”

“Stop!” Forgetting she'd injured her foot, she stamped it, and then cried out in pain.

“I have to get you back. I’m going to have to carry you to your horse. Put your arms around my neck, but no more kissing, all right?” he winked in an effort to soften his harsh words.

“You have to stop punishing yourself, Jonas. Because now you’re punishing me as well.” Her lower lip pouted. “Let us be a couple. I can handle whatever problems that will come with it.”

“Are you ready?” he asked. “Put your arms around my neck and I’ll carry you to Lucky.”

She put her arms around his neck, and he picked her up and started walking with her. She rested her head on his chest. He prayed for willpower. Her body felt so good against his. He knew what he had to do, and it would be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. He had to set her free.

Once Jonas had placed Ivy onto Lucky, he felt relieved. He couldn’t have withstood her closeness for too much longer. He mounted his horse and turned to her. “Will you be all right?”

“My foot is too sore to go into the stirrups, so we’ll have to go slow,” she said.

They slowly walked the horses back to the barn, where he slipped off of his horse, and was about to help Ivy down, when Zoe ran up to him, clad in a light blue, ruffled dress that Ivy had picked out at the dry goods store. The dress was about 4 inches too short for her, but the sight of her pantaloons hanging down to her ankles made Jonas chuckle. What was the sense of having ruffled pantaloons if no one could see them?

“Papa! Papa!”

He turned, picked her up, and hugged her. “Our friend Miss Ivy hurt her foot, honey. I’m going to take her home in the buggy. Would you like to come with us?”

He heard an enthusiastic, “Yeth!”

“All right.” He lowered her to the ground. “First I need to get Miss Ivy into the buggy.” He reached up and slid Ivy slowly to the ground. She kept her left foot in the air.

“Miss Ivy, I’m going to carry you to the buggy.” He winked at her, and whispered, “Now you behave.”

She smiled. “Is that why you invited Zoe to accompany us?”

“I’m offended that you would even think that,” Jonas said. He carried her to the buggy and set her onto the seat. “She’s our chaperone.”

Ivy grabbed his arm as he let go of her. “We need to talk, Jonas. Soon.”

He nodded. “I agree, and we will. Very soon.”

Zoe sat on Ivy’s lap on the ride to the Jeffries’ house. She was fairly quiet, except for a few “Giddy ups” along the way.

When they reached the Jeffries home, Jonas jumped down from the buggy and told Ivy, “Stay right there. I’m going to get one of your parents and explain what happened before I carry you in.”

Ivy nodded.

Jonas knocked on the front door, and Reverend Jeffries answered. He looked at Jonas with curiosity, since he’d never met him.

“Reverend Jeffries, I’m Jonas Armstrong, and—”

“Oh! Come in, come in,” Jeffries held the door wide.

“No, I can’t stay.” He pointed to the buggy parked in the yard. “I’m bringing Ivy home. She hurt her ankle walking with her horse. She’s in the buggy.”

“How bad is it?" Jeffries asked, walking quickly in Ivy's direction.

“I’m not sure.”

When he got to her, Jeffries lifted Ivy’s riding skirt and pulled off her boot. He pressed on it, and she gasped. “Looks like a sprain. How’d it happen?” He replaced her boot.

Ivy explained, and her father listened, looking at Zoe all the while. He winked at her. When Ivy finished telling him how it had happened, he held his arms out to Zoe.

Zoe was still sitting on Ivy’s lap, and she quickly turned to look at her.

Ivy smiled at her. “That’s my Papa. It’s okay, Zoe.”

Zoe went with Reverend Jeffries, but twisted her head around to be sure that her Papa was coming too.

“I’ve heard all about you, Miss Zoe. How about coming inside my house? I bet Mrs. Jeffries has some freshly baked cookies cooling. How about that?”

Zoe smiled and nodded, still keeping her eyes on her Papa.

“You don’t mind carrying my daughter in while I carry Zoe, do you Jonas?” Reverend Jeffries asked.

Jonas shook his head. “No, sir. I’ll carry her in.” He looked at Ivy and shrugged, “I don’t mind at all.” Jonas was shocked that Ivy’s father would allow him to carry Ivy into the house. Carrying a woman was an intimate gesture. If her father only knew—

Hiram Jeffries led them into the sitting room, and Jonas slipped Ivy gently onto the sofa.

“You okay?” Jonas whispered.

Ivy nodded, and she slipped off her boot. She was thrilled that her father was playing host to Jonas and Zoe. This was just the confidence Jonas needed.

“Sit down for a minute, Jonas,” Hiram said. “I want to get my wife so she can meet you and Zoe. We’ve heard so much about both of you.” He handed Zoe to Jonas.

Ivy’s father disappeared through a doorway, and returned a moment later, pulling his wife with him. “Lavinia, this is Jonas Armstrong, and little Zoe…Hmm, I’m sorry, Jonas, but does Zoe have a last name?”

Ivy watched Jonas pale. Luckily, before he could answer, Lavinia saw Ivy’s foot. “Ivy! What happened to your foot?”

“Just a bad turn or sprain, no need to worry,” Ivy said. “Zoe was promised one of your cookies.”

Lavinia turned to Zoe and smiled. “You will be the very first to try this new cookie recipe, so will you tell me whether the cookie is good or bad?”

Zoe nodded, wide-eyed.

Lavinia left the room.

“Jonas,” Hiram began, “I’ve told the congregation about you and Zoe, and how you saved her from a horrible situation. They have collected toys, clothing, and books for Zoe. If it’s all right with you, I’ll drop them off sometime this week.”

“That's very kind of you and your congregation,” Jonas said, “but I can afford to buy those things—I’m just horrible at shopping.”

“I told my father how I helped you in the dry goods store. He was amused,” Ivy said.

“I would have been the same in your situation, Jonas,” he said. “Lavinia and the girls do all my shopping.”

“Sit down, Jonas. You too, Zoe. You can’t leave right away. We want to get to know you better,” Hiram said.

Ivy beamed at Jonas.

Jonas took a seat, and put Zoe on his lap.

Lavinia returned with a tray of tea and a plate of cookies. She gave Zoe a cookie first, and then poured tea, and handed each person a cup atop a lovely matching saucer. Then Lavinia left the room and came back moments later with a wet cloth, which she wrapped around Ivy’s ankle. “It’s cool, so it'll help the swelling go down. It doesn’t look too bad, Ivy. You may have to stay off of it for a day or two.”

Ivy welcomed the relief the cool cloth brought to her inflamed ankle.

Meanwhile, Hiram was talking to Jonas about his church. “So you go to Trinity? That’s a coincidence, because just today I had a meeting with Reverend Shields. We’re thinking of merging our congregations. Trinity’s congregation has dwindled, and ours is growing. We think it’s because of our starting the Sunday School. Shields is afraid Trinity waited too long to start one, and now it’s too late. Since Shields is near retirement age, we're working on a deal that'll seamlessly merge both our churches. The people really love the Sunday School, and they’ve started coming to us in droves.”

Again, Ivy noticed Jonas paling. She remembered Quinn telling her that he’d been asked to leave Grace Church five years ago. Surely, he wasn’t afraid to come back now.

“Anyway,” Hiram Jeffries continued, “he tells me you're the director of music at Trinity. That’s fantastic because we're in need of one. Would you consider filling that job for us if we merge?”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Jonas answered.

Lavinia returned and knelt down to Zoe’s level. “Well, I’m anxious to hear your opinion about my cookie. Was it good? Or was it bad?”

“Good,” Zoe said, licking the chocolate from her fingers. She couldn’t get the chocolate completely off, so she held her hands out to Jonas, “Papa, dirty!”

Lavinia jumped up. “I’ll get her a cloth.”

“Papa?” Hiram asked with a curious look.

“He’s adopting her,” Ivy cut in quickly.

“Oh! Well, God bless you, Jonas! I hope things work out, and that you'll come to our church. I’d be proud to have you there.”

Jonas fumed all the way home. Why did Ivy tell her father that he was adopting Zoe? Didn’t she realize he’d soon find out differently? And to find out his beloved church was merging—it was all he could do to keep a polite attitude while he was there.

They were wonderful, well-meaning people, and they did treat Zoe wonderfully. How would they feel when they found out the truth? Oh, why did Ivy have to hurt her ankle and put him in this awkward situation?

There was only one thing to do—he had to cut off his relationship with Ivy. She'd be hurt because of it, but it had to be done. He had no choice.

Zoe laid her head on his lap while he drove, and his anger evaporated. She must be tired. He patted her back. “Almost home, Zoe.”

In the morning, his father and Caleb stopped by. They hadn’t seen Zoe since the day he’d rescued her.

“Is that the same child?” George Armstrong asked, gazing at the adorable child, dressed in a blue and white gingham dress, with a blue bow in her hair, sitting in the kitchen with Ingrid.

“Yes, it is,” Jonas said proudly. “And I want you both to see this.” Jonas pointed to the document on the wall. Both Caleb and George drew closer to read it.

“Zoe
Armstrong
?” George and Caleb said in unison.

“Yes. I guess when a wife has a baby, no matter who fathered the babe, it receives the husband’s name. I’m glad. I would have adopted her anyway. I’ve fallen in love with her.”

Zoe came running into the sitting room and wrapped her arms around his legs. “Papa!”

George knelt down, “Zoe, I’m Grandpapa. Can you call me that?”

Zoe looked up at Jonas. He nodded. She said, “Gram Papa.”

George smiled. “That’s perfect.” George looked up at Caleb. “Well?”

Then Caleb rolled his eyes and knelt down. “My name is Uncle Cal. Can you say that, Zoe?”

Zoe smiled. “Unca Cal.” Caleb smiled at her and winked.

“She’s had some setbacks in her speech, but we’re working on it. In fact, Ivy Jeffries has been coming by and working with her,” Jonas explained. “Zoe will catch up.”

Ingrid came in. “Zoe, it’s time for our walk.”

Zoe grabbed Jonas’s leg. “No!”

Jonas picked her up. “Yes, Zoe. You need fresh air to make you grow big and strong. Be a good girl and go with Nanny.”

Ingrid said, “Zoe, I have some bread crumbs to feed the ducks and squirrels.”

Zoe let go of Jonas and went outside with Ingrid.

Jonas looked at his father and Caleb. “Thank you for accepting Zoe.”

“She’s your daughter—why wouldn’t we?” George said.

“Now, to get down to what we really stopped for,” George said. “I’ve been asking around in Beulah’s neighborhood, and no one has seen her since June. They've also seen this Mr. E. around several times, but they all describe him exactly as the babysitter had.”

“There
is
one thing I didn’t mention,” Jonas said. “The babysitter said she’d been with him before, and that she'd met him at the saloon where she worked. I can’t recall which saloon, I was so upset when she was telling me all of this. Anyway, she said everyone knew him by Mr. E. So maybe we could go into some of the saloons and see if we can't find out more about this mysterious Mr. E. fellow.”

“Just the kind of place we all try to stay away from. Which one of us should go and see what we can discover?” George asked.

“Definitely not me,” Jonas said.

“Me either,” Caleb said.

“All right that leaves—no one!” George laughed and shrugged. “I’ll do it.”