See You at the Show (29 page)

“Stevie Stone conforming to rules, who’d have thought?”

“They aren’t rules, Mark.
 
Just common sense.”

He squeezed her hand.
 
“It’s not something I really want to talk about anyway so, yeah, the secret’s safe with me.”

She leaned forward and kissed him gently.
 
“Thank you.”

“We can still be friends, right?”

She wanted that more than anything, but whether or not that was possible was something they’d have to wait and see.
 
But there was something about Mark Cassidy that meant he’d never be out of her life.
 
Not ever.
 
Not completely.
 

She moved closer to him, letting his arm slip around her shoulders as she snuggled against him.
 
“Always.”

He tilted her face up so she looked straight at him.
 
“One last time, Stevie.
 
Me and you.
 
Can you give me that?”

She stared at him, into those deep, dark eyes of his and thought about Daniel, how he was going home tonight, home to tell his wife he was leaving her, and what happened after that was still uncertain, she just knew that she wanted him back here, with her.
 
She wanted him back so she knew they could move on.
 
But tonight - tonight she needed a distraction, something to make her forget what was going on with Daniel and Samantha.
 
And what better distraction than one last night with Mark?
 
It probably wasn’t the best idea, for either of them, but they were going to do it anyway.
 
They both knew that.
 

She smiled, leaning into him for another slow kiss.
 
“One last time,” she whispered.
 
One last time, before her life changed forever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Daniel threw his case down onto the hall floor and leaned back against the wall, looking around him.
 
Everything here had used to feel safe and welcoming but it all felt so different now, because tonight he was here to do a job he wished he didn’t have to do, and his stomach was in knots with the nerves that washed over him in never-ending succession.
 
He knew he hadn’t been fair on Samantha for months now.
 
She was an innocent bystander in all of this, someone who hadn’t asked for any of it and deserved it even less but he had to do it, he had to break free.
 
It was both a frightening and exhilarating feeling and one he still struggled to get his head around as the reality faced him head on, so there could be no stalling, no small talk, no putting it off for half an hour while he found the courage to say the words.
 
He had to tell her straightaway.
 

“Daniel?
 
Is that you?”

Samantha’s voice shouting through from the kitchen set another wave of nerves coursing through him and he took a deep breath, loosening his tie.
 
This was it.
 
In the next few minutes his life was set to change beyond anything he’d known before because of a woman he couldn’t bear to be without.
 
Stevie Stone.
 
Sent from heaven to mess with his head and all he wanted was to be back with her, lying beside her as she taught him things fantasies were made of.
 
He just wanted to be with her.
 
Which is why he had to do what he was about to do next.
 
Even if it wasn’t the most sensible thing a man in his position should be doing.
 

He walked into the kitchen, waiting for her to turn round and look at him.
 
Which she did, within seconds.
 
His beautiful wife.
 
But she wasn’t Stevie.
 
She didn’t make him feel like a teenager on a first date, she didn’t make his stomach flip over with excitement when she looked at him or his skin break out in goosebumps when she touched him.
 
They’d settled into a solid and reliable marriage which had worked for the both of them and that had been fine.
 
Until now.
 
But he couldn’t do it anymore.
 
He didn’t want to settle.
 
He wanted to live. He was on the brink of exciting changes in his life and he wanted Stevie there with him when they happened.
 
He wanted Stevie.

Samantha looked at her husband of twenty years and that same feeling of uneasiness she’d been feeling for weeks now hit her even harder.
 
He was going to tell her something she didn’t want to hear, she was sure of that, she could see it in his eyes.
 
And she just wanted to run so she didn’t have to hear him say it.
 
She wanted to hide away and hope it all got better.

“Samantha...”

She threw the tea towel she was holding down onto the bench and looked at him, trying hard to blink back the tears that were threatening.

“You’re leaving me, aren’t you?”

Daniel didn’t know what to do.
 
He hadn’t expected that.
 
Her words had come as a bit of a shock.
 
Had she suspected something all along?
 
He shouldn’t really be surprised though, should he?
 
Considering his behaviour recently.

“I...”

“Just say it, Daniel.
 
If you’re going to say it just get it over with.”
 
She had to hold onto the kitchen bench to steady herself because the reality of what was happening was making her dizzy.

“Samantha, this isn’t easy for me...”

“And how do you think it is for
me,
Daniel?
 
Is this supposed to be easy for
me
?”

He shook his head, finding it hard to look her in the eye.
 

“So, it’s happening then?
 
You’re really leaving me?”

He looked down at the ground.
 
“Yes.
 
Believe me, Samantha, it’s not a decision I came to lightly, I want you to know that...”

“Is there someone else?”

Daniel didn’t miss a beat as he looked up at her.
 
“No.”

She stared at him.
 
Was he lying to her?
 
“So, why are you leaving me then?
 
If there’s no-one else?”
 
She wanted to believe he was telling her the truth, that there really was nobody else because maybe then there might be some chance that this could work itself out.

“It isn’t working for me anymore, Samantha.
 
The marriage, it’s run it’s course...”

“In your opinion.”

“I’m not making you happy anymore, am I?”

She turned away for a second, looking out of the window at her perfect garden as her perfect life came crashing down around her.

“Do you need some space?” she asked, her voice quiet.
 
“Maybe if we just spent some time apart...couldn’t we just try?”

He walked over to her, wanting to touch her but knowing it could only make things worse.

“We’ve been apart more than we’ve been together for months now really, haven’t we?
 
And I think that’s the problem, don’t you?
 
We should have spent more time together.
 
We’ve grown apart, Samantha.”

She turned round, her voice a little louder, a little angrier than it had been before.

“No,
you’ve
grown apart, Daniel, not me.
 
I
haven’t gone anywhere, I’ve been right here, waiting for you, like the good little politician’s wife I am.
 
You’ve been the one growing apart from
me
.
 
I
didn’t want you to go.”

His heart was breaking as he looked at her, the tears starting to stream down her face and he just wanted to hold her but that could send out the wrong message.
 
He hated himself for doing this, but he was still so sure it was the right thing to do.
 
Even though he’d hurt someone he’d never wanted to hurt because all she’d ever done was be there for him, even though that was happening and it was the most painful thing he’d ever done, he was still sure he was making the right decision.
 
He still wanted Stevie.
 
Christ, he wanted her now, even looking at his wife as she broke down in front of him all he wanted was Stevie.
 
What kind of a man did that make him?

“Samantha, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry is such a pointless word, Daniel.
 
It doesn’t fix anything, it doesn’t help.”

“I know.
 
I know that,” he sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me, Daniel?”
 
She rooted around in the pocket of her apron for a handkerchief to wipe her eyes with.
 
She didn’t want to cry any more.
 
Not in front of him, anyway.

“It wouldn’t have solved anything, Samantha.
 
It really wouldn’t.”

She felt defeated.
 
All the fight had left her.
 
She’d known this was on the cards and she’d thought she was prepared for it, prepared to fight to the death for her husband.
 
But now it was actually happening she realised how pointless it was, to fight a battle she didn’t think she could win.
 
Not right now anyway.
 
Because part of her still thought he was lying to her.
 
Part of her was still convinced someone else was involved somewhere along the line and until she knew what she was really up against how could she possibly begin to win him back?
 
He wasn’t going to tell her the truth tonight, that was obvious.
 
She was just going to have to live with what he was telling her for now and find out the truth for herself.
 
So crying wasn’t going to help.
 
She had to get over the shock and the reality of being left alone and prepare herself for whatever was going to come next.

She leaned back against the kitchen bench, untying her apron and throwing it down beside the discarded tea towel.
 
“So, what happens now?”
 
She sounded more controlled than she really felt.
 
“Do you want a divorce?”

Daniel hadn’t even thought that far ahead, he really hadn’t.
 
He hadn’t thought past getting back to
London
and seeing Stevie, and even that was going to get more complicated from now on.
 
So he avoided answering her question.

“I’m going back to
London
.”

“Straightaway?”
 
She looked at him, willing him to stay but knowing there was no reason for him to do so.
 
Not anymore.

“I think it’s best, don’t you?
 
I’ll stay in the
London
apartment.
 
It’s probably best if I’m based there anyway, what with the Election almost upon us.”

She grabbed a cloth and started wiping down the work surfaces, trying to keep busy so she didn’t break down in front of him any more than she had done already.
 
She could get through this, she’d find out the truth and get him back, eventually.
 
It was just going to take time, so she had to be strong and she had to be patient.
 
And she could do that.

“Then go.”
 
She looked at him.
 
“There’s obviously nothing left to talk about, is there?”

He shook his head, feeling more than a little bit lost.
 
Being here, with this going on around him, he felt out of control.
 
This was his home but he really didn’t want to be here anymore.
 
“I’ll go upstairs, pack a few things.”

She nodded, continuing to scrub away at dirt that wasn’t there, not able to look at him for fear of losing it, of letting him see just how much this was tearing her apart.
 
She loved her life, she loved her husband.
 
But it was quite obvious he didn’t love her – or their life - anymore.
 

“Are you going to be ok?” Daniel asked, still wanting to touch her, to comfort her, but knowing he couldn’t.
 
It wouldn’t be right, under the circumstances.

“What do
you
think?”
 
She threw the cloth into the sink and turned to look at him.
 
“I’m jumping through hoops, Daniel.
 
You come home, for the first time in days, and tell me you’re leaving me after months of making me feel as though I didn’t even exist so how do you
think
that makes me feel?”

“I’m sorry, Samantha.
 
You really don’t deserve this.”

She couldn’t help laughing, a real cynical laugh.
 
“No, I bloody
don’t
deserve it, after all the years I’ve given to you.
 
I don’t deserve it at all.”