Secret Desires (11 page)

"You want me to do the walk of shame in my nightgown and sneakers?" she smirked lazily.

"I don't mean until morning." He brushed his fingers against her forehead and down the center of her nose. "Stay with me for good. Move in with me."

Had she not been exhausted she might have burst, but managed a gleeful smile nonetheless. "I don't want to live in a hotel with you, James."

"No? Then I guess I'll have to buy a house."

She couldn’t help but fawn over the rakish smile that lit up his face. James high on sex was more impossible to fight than regular in command James. She laid her cheek against his chest again and closed her eyes, ready and willing to give in to the exhaustion that haunted her body.

"You were supposed to do that months ago," she murmured.

"Tell me you'll move in with me and I'll buy you a house tomorrow."

"Don't be silly. You're leaving tomorrow.
I'm
leaving tomorrow!" She didn't want to imagine the time; she knew it was far too late, or too early. "Let's just go to sleep."

With his arms around her chest he lifted and repositioned her on the bed so she was lying on her side, then cradled her from behind, his shape molding to hers. He draped an arm around her waist and hugged her in close.

"I love you, Natalie."

"I love you, too," she whispered before giving in to peaceful sleep.

"Don't you look well rested!” Quinn teased as she joined Natalie at her table-for-two in the nearly empty Starbucks.

"Good, that means this coffee is working! I ordered for you." Natalie gestured to a still-steaming cup of caffeinated goodness and smiled.

"Thank you," Quinn cooed before taking a sip. "So, when are you leaving?"

"Soon," Natalie answered, nodding her head at her packed belongings sitting neatly by her feet. "Joe is picking me up here after he gets the rental."

"Are you excited?"

"Sure!" Natalie shook her head. "Though I would much rather be going on a weekend trip with you."

"Or Mr. Handsome?" Quinn raised a perfectly groomed brow and smiled mischievously. "I am, of course, assuming by your sheer radiant glow that you two have made up."

"Yes," Natalie nodded, then quickly shook her head. "But also no."

"So the soap opera continues?"

"Well here's a spoiler for you..." Natalie leaned in conspiratorially. "I told him I love him."

"Good for you, Red," Quinn nodded approvingly. "So let me guess: The feelings have evolved but the problems remain the same. Am I right?"

Natalie sighed and slumped into her seat. "Unfortunately. But let's not waste our time talking about it now. I'm sure you're sick and tired of being my therapist."

"Not at all!" Quinn protested. "Living vicariously through your relationship drama has made me appreciate being single. Love like that is wasted on people like me."

Natalie wasn't sure whether she believed Quinn or not, but didn't question her further about it. Nor did she bring up James' sudden proposal to move in together. For one thing she wasn't entirely sure he wasn't drunk on post-coital love, especially with his offer to buy her a house. She figured it was best to assume anything said immediately after sex was like a case of temporary insanity; she'd just pretend it didn't happen. Besides, confessing her love for him did nothing to make their issues any less complicated. It was still against employee regulations to date a client. He was still married. And Celine was still quite possibly pregnant with his baby.

As far as she was concerned the job situation was non-negotiable, and if he were serious about wanting to move in together it would certainly force the issue. But she had the entire weekend to think about that.

Natalie settled back into her seat with her coffee in hand. "So what are your plans for the weekend?"

"To take full advantage of a certain employee perk at a gorgeous resort in Vegas."

"You're going to Eden?" Natalie wasn't sure why it surprised her. And what a strange coincidence that she was going at the same time as James.

"A girlfriend of mine from back east is flying in for a pre-bachelorette scouting party. "

"Sounds like fun!"

"Said the girl who is going to spend the weekend in a mansion in Lake Arrowhead with a hot guy who
isn't
her boyfriend."

"I hope you're talking about me." As if on cue Joe Gallo appeared at their table, looking like an off duty model in a tight tee shirt and jeans. He pulled up a third chair and sat down, his large body seemingly dwarfing the table. "Natalie," he nodded, then turned to Quinn and smiled devilishly. "So you think I'm hot?"

"Extremely," Quinn flirted without missing a beat. "If you like that whole rugged, sexy lumberjack aesthetic."

He nodded imperceptibly in her direction. "And do you?"

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly, eyelashes batting and lips pouting into a small smile. "I don't dislike it."

Natalie hid her enormous smile behind her coffee cup. Both Quinn and Joe crackled with fiery, flirtatious energy, and she felt the burn just watching the simple exchange.

"I'm just gonna..." Natalie trailed off, pointing in the general direction of the restroom as she got up and left them to their own devices. After relieving herself she put in a second order of coffee and opted to wait at the counter rather than going immediately back to the table. One glance in Quinn and Joe's direction told her they were just fine without her anyway. She fished out her phone to check her messages.

'Gentleman Twelve: Just landed in Vegas. You on the road yet?'

'Almost. Just loading up on coffee,' she replied.

'Gentleman Twelve: Did you get enough last night? (Sleep, that is).'

Natalie cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. 'I got enough to get me by until the next time. (Sleep, that is).'

"Grande white mocha with an extra shot for Natalie?" a barista called out. Natalie accepted the hot cup with a smile and slowly weaved her way back to table, her eyes on Quinn and Joe. Their body language was just as suggestive as their flirting; shoulders leaned in close, legs turned in towards each other, each trying to handle a megawatt smile. She briefly wondered what it would be like to watch herself with James. Were they as openly libidinous?

"Ahem." She waited half a moment before sitting down in her seat. "All set!" she announced.

"Looks like I'm going to
The Gentleman's Show
." Quinn winked at Natalie. "Honestly it's the perks that make this job worth waking up before seven in the morning for. Don't you agree, Natalie?"

Natalie chuckled uncomfortably and glanced at Joe. "And on that note we should get going!" She turned then to Quinn and gave her a knowing look. "Have fun."

"You know I always do."

"We're almost there, I promise." Joe's attempt at sympathetic reassurance was anything but. "Just keep your eyes on the horizon."

"Yeah, easier said than done when every five seconds there's another hairpin turn!" Natalie braced herself in the passenger seat of the sleek luxury SUV Joe had rented and tried to convince herself she wasn't going to throw up.

The drive to that point had been relatively easy with minimal traffic, a practical luxury on a Friday afternoon on the 210 freeway. It was the last leg of the trip up Rim of the World - several miles of stomach-churning turns while climbing thousands of feet - that was the most challenging.

"Just breathe slowly," he instructed from the driver's seat. "You'll get used to the altitude quickly enough."

"It's not the altitude I'm worried about. Do me a favor? Don't let me have any more coffee this weekend. I think it's burning a hole in my stomach."

Joe chuckled and reached across the center console to offer a supportive tug on her hand. "Okay that was the last turn. You can relax now."

Natalie's stomach began to settle the moment she relaxed in her seat. She unfocused her eyes from the horizon and took a true look at their surroundings for the first time. The road gently curved into a small town with even smaller local shops, the Western sky dropping off at a sharp angle to her right overlooking Victorville.

At the GPS' instruction Joe made a left turn towards Blue Jay, and they were immediately ensconced in a forest of trees in shades of moss, emerald, fern and myrtle. Sunlight dappled through the leaves in sweeping rays of light that seemed to rarely touch the carpeted ground of soil and rock.

"Wow," she breathed.

"I know, right?" Joe echoed her sentiment.

The road stretched on and split in two directions, both leading in a haphazard circle around the lake itself. Natalie could just make out the dark body of cobalt-colored water through the line of trees, and houses which spanned the scale from log cabin to modest chalet to fairytale-inspired mansion. Parked cars lined every conceivable inch of space between the side of the road and the driveway of the next house.

"There are access points to just about every dock around the lake, but some of them you have to practically hike to get to."

"It looks like there are a lot of boats out on the water," she commented.

"There will be even more tomorrow. Summer weekends are pretty busy up here. Can you imagine what this place looks like in winter, blanketed in snow?"

"Like a Thomas Kinkade painting. But in a good way," she corrected.

"Okay, Peninsula Drive. Do you have the access code?"

"Yeah. One sec." She reached down into her work bag and pulled out the black box Audra had prepared for her. "9-1-8-5-3-8."

An imposing wrought-iron gate opened, granting them access to a private road dotted with houses, each one eclipsing in size the one preceding it. The road terminated in a cul-de-sac with one of the larger houses sitting at its peak. Joe pulled into the long stretch of driveway and killed the engine, his eyes set on the grand chalet before them. He let out a slow whistle and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Audra Robertson must really like you."

A plainly dressed woman met them at the car and introduced herself as Carly, the household manager, then proceeded to take them on a walking tour of the place - no easy task in a house with seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, a chef's kitchen, formal dining room, a library with an office, a gaming room, and a living room big enough to entertain at least a dozen people, and an unblemished view of the lake from floor to vaulted-ceiling.

"Why don't you take the master bedroom," Joe offered.

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, it's not like the other six rooms are broom closets."

"Okay," she laughed.

"I took the liberty of asking the chef to prepare you a late lunch," Carly began. "Why don't you both get settled in and then when you're ready we can head down to the dock and get on the lake for the last few hours of daylight. The pontoon is great for dining on the water."

Natalie had no idea what a pontoon was, but it sounded lovely. She headed for the master bedroom and just about dropped her suitcase upon entering.

"I mean,
of course!
" she mumbled astonishingly under her breath to herself. Even more floor-to-ceiling windows framed the incredible view of the lake beyond, and a door opened out onto her own private deck complete with sunning chairs and a stocked wet bar. A California king bed dominated the center of the room, and looking at it made Natalie suddenly miss James. She set her belongings up on the bed and retrieved her phone to call him.

Voicemail picked up after five rings.

"Hey it's me. Just wanted to let you know that we got here safely. The house is amazing. Like, I can't even begin to describe how much of an understatement the word 'amazing' is when describing this house... but now that I think about it you've probably been here before. Anyway, we're going out on the boat soon so if you call or text me and I don't respond it's because I'm being fancy on the boat." She couldn’t help but laugh at herself. "Okay. Talk to you later. I love you." She hung up and bit down on her bottom lip as she smiled. It still felt strange saying those three words, but she knew she'd become accustomed to it sooner or later.

Less than an hour later Natalie and Joe were enjoying a guided tour of the lake on Audra's pontoon boat, which Natalie came to realize was really just a small party barge - if 20 feet was considered small. Carly took them on a guided tour around the proximity of the lake, taking great care to drift in the no-wake zones in the coves, yacht club, the resort, Lake Arrowhead village and various private beaches.

Once they were securely anchored in North Bay, Carly set out the chef's prepared late afternoon lunch on a table secured to the flooring of the boat between their seats.

"Carly, are you sure you don't want to join us?" Natalie asked as she looked over the plentiful bounty of delicious looking food.

"Thank you, but I think I'm going to go for a swim. See that dock straight ahead?" Natalie looked in the direction she pointed and saw the dock and the beach it stretched out onto. "That's where I'll be. Just wave me down when you're ready. Have fun you two!"

"Bye!"

"Looks like the chef packed some champagne. Would you like a glass?" Joe offered.

"Please!" Natalie was spellbound by the beautiful lake, the forest that blanketed the surrounding mountains, and the charming homes in every earth-toned color imaginable. "I honestly can't tell if I'm at work or on vacation right now!" she gleamed.

Joe stood and pulled off his shirt, revealing dark tan skin, washboard abs and a generous helping of dark chest hair. "Or a really great first date," he included as he sat, then handed her a cup of golden hued champagne.

"Man, Audra is really making her moves on us." Natalie laughed awkwardly before taking a sip of the offered beverage.
Holy shit, he's ridiculously gorgeous
. Suddenly she understood what the fuss with Quinn as all about. "So!" she began again, hoping a diversion in conversation would keep her from openly staring at his fine physique. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Go for it, Red."

Natalie blushed at his use of Quinn's personal moniker for her. Something in the way he said it sounded friendly, natural even. "How is it you know Celine Robertson? I realized that's who you were talking to at the restaurant the other night," she added when he glanced at her, mid-chew, eyes scrutinizing. "Did you meet through Audra?"

"Other way around, actually," he said. "Celine and I used to date."

Natalie nearly choked on her chicken salad sandwich. It certainly explained why he was so cryptic at the restaurant after his run-in with Celine. Still, Natalie was starting to get the impression that their world was a lot smaller than she ever thought.

"It was a really long time ago back when we were kids in college."

Huh
. Natalie knew that James met Audra and Celine at university; James and Audra founded Fitson shortly thereafter. Was Joe part of that crowd, too? "And that's how you met Audra?"

"She was going to school back east. Celine and I met and started dating when we were both freshmen at USC. I met Audra sophomore year. She and Fitzgerald flew out here during their spring break to throw this huge party for a class project; something about creating a successful business," he dismissed with a lazy swat of his hand.

Natalie's heartbeat tripled at the mention of James but she tried to remain passive. "So you know James, too?"

He nodded as he took the last bite of his sandwich. "Celine and I went to the party and the moment she laid eyes on him it was pretty much over for us."

Natalie scoffed. "She
dumped you
for him?"

"Dumping me would have been far kinder. I walked in on them half naked and making out."

She gasped. "Oh my god!"

"Yep." Joe reached into a bag of chips and dipped one in a bowl of homemade guacamole. "By the start of junior year Celine had transferred to the same school as her sister and James, and that was pretty much the end of our relationship. They got married a few years later."

"Wow."
Once a cheater, always a cheater
, she thought to herself. It shouldn't have surprised her to find out that Celine's character was less than stellar even back then, but it did. "No wonder you were so shocked to see her the other night."

"We've kept in touch over the years, particularly when I was living in New York. I got to know Audra a little when her account was in San Francisco. Celine and Fitzgerald are having a kid so she must be happy."

Natalie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure if the sudden roiling in her stomach was on account of the constantly moving boat, or the idea that Celine was trying to pass off her pregnancy as something she and James were celebrating. It wasn't Joe's fault that he didn't know any better. She was dying to ask what he thought of James, though she was sure he had no reason to like the guy he caught making out with his girlfriend, even if it was practically another lifetime ago.

"Can I ask
you
a personal question?" he asked.

"I couldn't really say 'no' now, could I?"

Joe set his glass of champagne down on the table and leaned forward, elbows on knees. "Are you wearing a bathing suit under your clothes?"

"What?" she asked, completely taken aback by the sudden turn in direction. "Yes. Why?"

"Come on." He stood and placed his Ray Ban sunglasses on the table. "Let's go for a swim."

"Oh, no. I'm okay. Really!" she protested.

He looked at her skeptically. "You know how to swim, right?"

"Since I was a kid, yes. It's just I'm not fond of swimming in deep water."

Joe walked to the helm and pushed a button. "Water's only about 27 feet deep here."

"Ha!" she laughed nervously. "Yeah, I don't even like swimming in six feet of water and I'm five-foot-eight."

"You'll be fine. Come on." He held out a hand for her, but she declined it.

"I could just sit back there-" she pointed to the small deck situated inches below the stern- "and watch you."

He seemed to relent. "Alright. Can you look under your seat for a couple towels?"

"Sure." She stood and pulled on a fabric loop sewn into her seat and it opened to a not-so-secret compartment containing several clean towels. She grabbed for two then made her way down half the length of the boat to where Joe stood at the stern. She felt small that close to him, dwarfed by his impossibly wide shoulders that swooped down into equally imposing biceps. Sunlight cascaded down his dark tan skin as though it lived there.

She stripped out of her casual playsuit and Keds shoes before taking a seat on the deck and gingerly dipping her feet into the cool water toes first. She could barely see them through the dark water, and the idea that there wasn't a bottom for another 27 feet troubled her anxiety.

Joe, on the other hand, stretched out his arms and dove into the water with the ease of an Olympic swimmer. He surfaced half a moment later with a brilliant smile and a sopping head of dark hair. He waded around in the water, his legs hidden in the dark body.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" she called out over the short distance.

He shook is head. "Not really. As far as I'm concerned it's a done deal. The work is good. The presentation is good. We've got this."

Natalie envied his confidence. "Doesn't matter if I'm meeting with a client for the first time or the fiftieth, my stomach is always in knots."

"I don't know why. I've seen your work, Natalie. You're one of the best at Brighton. You should be proud of that."

She did feel an ounce of pride at his compliment, and let herself smile at the bit of validation it gave her. "Thank you."

"You know what I think you need?" He swam in closer until he was nearly at her feet. "You need to get a little wet." He grabbed for her foot but she quickly pulled both feet from the water and pressed her knees to her chest.

"No, really, it's fine. I told you I don't like deep water."

"Trust me. Come here." He swam backwards about a foot and then held out his arms. "I'll catch you."

"No!" she protested with a stilted laugh.

"What is the worst that could happen to you? You sink to the bottom and die?"

"Look, I know it's irrational but that doesn't make it any less real to me. I'm fine, really!"

He didn't relent. "Tell you what. You get in the water and hang out with me, and if you're not having fun after ten minutes I'll buy you a drink in the Village."

She dropped her head to one side. "That's the best you can do?"

A slow smile spread across his lips, and she could practically hear his internal dialogue saying
'challenge accepted'
. "Okay, Red. Let's up the stakes a bit. You jump in the lake and dinner and drinks are on me tonight. You
stay
in the lake for at least ten minutes and I'll give you a hundred bucks."

"Are you that eager to let go of your money, Joe?"

"To show a pretty girl like you a fun time? You bet."

Natalie resisted the urge to smile, though she could do nothing about the heat in her cheeks but pass it off as the touch of the sun. What
was
the worst that could happen? She was a competent swimmer and it wasn't like there were sharks lurking about in the water.

Just do it, Natalie
, she coached herself. She stood and gripped the edge of the boat with her toes. Joe swam back a few more feet but kept his arms up, ready to catch her.
Don't think about it. Just go.

She jumped, and the cool lake water enveloped her body immediately, suspending her several feet below the surface before pushing her back up like a buoy. As soon as her head was clear she opened her mouth and breathed in deeply, eyes blurring immediately upon opening then going crystal clear.

Joe's hands went to her hips to help hold her upright as they bobbed together in the water. "Ready to admit that was fun, or are you going to wait the full ten minutes?"

"I think I'll wait the full ten minutes so you know you're getting your money's worth."

"As you should," he laughed. "But really, you're doing alright?"

"Actually I'm terrified," she laughed back, though even she could hear the thread of nervousness in the sound.

"Don't think of the lake as depth, but space. Your body is free, weightless. Nothing bad can happen to you."

There was something comforting about his whiskey brown eyes, like they belonged to an old soul who knew from wisdom that everything would be okay. She nodded and he released his hands from her hips, letting her free float in the water. She didn't have to exert much effort to stay afloat, and soon found that her body warmed to the cool water.

They swam leisurely in the wide spaces between anchored boats and Natalie quickly forgot her fear of the water depth. There were more than a few upright paddlers effortlessly making their way around the no-wake zone, one with a dog sitting perched at the very nose of the board. A boat nearby turned up their radio and soon the lake was like one big party. Closer to a neighboring dock was a two-tiered pontoon boat with a slide that deposited kids and adults into the lake one plop at a time. A few boats had tied together to create a floating ferry. Kids and teenagers floated lazily in floating chairs and cushions.

When the sun had moved a few inches closer to the horizon and her skin was both parched from the sun and wrinkled from the water, she climbed up the boat ladder and wrapped herself in a towel. Joe followed a moment later and waved down Carly from the dock.

"Cold?"

"Very. Let's lay out and bake in the sun for a while," she suggested before spreading her wet towel out over one of the two rear-facing cushioned lounge chairs. She slipped on a pair of sunglasses then stretched out beneath the sun. "Can you believe we get to do this for work?"

"Crazy, isn't it? My favorite days at work are the days I get to leave the office and work somewhere else."

"It does get rather stale sometimes, being cooped up in four walls," she concurred.

"You know, I love my job and I love doing my job at Brighton, but recently I've been wondering what it would be like to venture out on my own. Start my own agency."

"Really?" Natalie turned to her side and put a hand up to her forehead to further shield her eyes from the sun.

"It's just an idea," he stated firmly. "I've put some feelers out. Crunched some numbers here and there. I've even looked - very casually - at office space for rent. But it's just an idea."

Natalie's brow crinkled above her eyes. "It would be a huge risk."

"Any business is. Look at our clients," he said, gesticulating with his hands. "Every one of them started something from nothing, or from very little. Like Audra and Fitzgerald. They started with one party over spring break and now they have hotels and clubs all over the country."

She couldn't argue against his point, not that she thought he would listen to a counter anyway. There was a determination in his voice that made her believe he would pull it off. "So I shouldn't be surprised if one day you don't come in to work because you've decided to go off on your own?"

"Nope," he answered confidently. He turned his head to face her and offer a charming smile. "Who knows, Natalie? Maybe I'll be calling you up the night before asking you to take the risk with me."

"Me?" she scoffed. "I don't know that I'm brave enough to do that."

"Says the girl who got into the water even though she was terrified."

Natalie smiled proudly at herself. "I did do that, didn't I?"

Joe popped up from his lounge. "Here's what we need to do. Where's your phone?"

"Uh, over on the table. Why?"

He stalked off in the direction she led him in, and then returned with her phone in hand, holding it up as if to take a photo. "We're going to document this moment."

"Why?"

Before answering he tapped the screen and the distinct sound of a photo being taken echoed off into the mountain lake air. He knelt down beside her and tossed the phone onto her legs. "Because I want you to look at that picture every time you think you're not brave enough or in some way doubt yourself."

Natalie was floored by the utter sincerity she heard in his voice. She didn't quite know how to respond, and luckily Carly climbing up the ladder saved her from having to say anything. Joe stood from Natalie's side and offered the house manager a towel. Natalie unlocked her phone to look at the photo Joe had taken, and was pleasantly surprised to find she looked more serene and relaxed than she had felt in a long time. It was as if jumping off the boat into the lake had shed her of a layer of insecurity. Or, it had for at least a few moments. It was enough for her to not mind that Joe had taken a photo of her in her swimsuit, at least.