Secret Desires (7 page)

She almost felt bad for not telling him she was going to be having dinner with another man. But he would understand that meeting with Joe Gallo was for work and he'd be okay with it. Wouldn't he?

Quinn sat on the edge of Natalie's desk and crossed her long, lean legs. "I can't believe you're blowing off Taco Tuesday!" she pouted.

Natalie laughed as her eyes rolled to the ceiling. "I don't know why you call it that when we never actually eat tacos."

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly. "'Cocktail Tuesday' doesn't have the same fun ring to it!" Her eyes followed Natalie as she rounded her desk collecting stacks of untidy paperwork and organizing them into neat piles. Quinn reached out and picked up the Tiffany picture frame. "You ditching me for Mr. Handsome so you can pose for more photos together?" Natalie tried to take the photo but Quinn held it tight to her chest, a teasing smile on her face.

"As a matter of fact I am ditching you for work. Joe Gallo asked me to dinner so I can help him land a new client."

"Wow!" Quinn seemed obviously impressed and, strangely, a bit proud. "Looks like you're making quite the comeback, Red."

"It was nothing a good twelve hours worth of sleep couldn't fix."

Quinn nodded. "And I'm sure the glow-inducing morning sex that made you late for work had nothing whatsoever to do with it." She gently placed the expensive frame back on the desk.

Before Natalie could respond Joe Gallo was standing in her doorway, palm closed and poised to knock on the frame. "Am I interrupting?" It was obvious he'd heard every last word Quinn had spoken about Natalie's apparently transparent sex life.

"Thankfully, yes," Natalie said. "Joe this is Quinn Potter. Quinn, Joe Gallo."

"We've met," Quinn said coolly as she slipped off Natalie's desk and extended a slender hand towards the man she'd described as a tree. "At the last Brighton event in San Francisco."

Joe narrowed his eyes as if to recall a distant memory. "Quinn." He spoke the name as though trying it on for size. "You took over bartending duties from that clueless blonde girl and turned the entire event into a throwback speakeasy."

"Poor thing couldn't mix a proper martini. Someone had to intervene," she flirted.

Joe's casual smile could have lit up even the dullest of rooms. "It's nice to see you again, Quinn."

"Likewise. Natalie," she nodded as she made her way towards the door. "Enjoy tree climbing."

Natalie was mortified. Fortunately Joe didn't understand the reference, or perhaps he was merely pretending not to. In any event his good-natured chuckle put Natalie at ease. They braved the end of day traffic in Joe's rental car on the way to the restaurant, making casual conversation about San Francisco and Los Angeles, which city had the best food (San Francisco) and the worst traffic (Los Angeles). By the time they reached their destination and were seated with orders placed for cocktails, Natalie felt like she was chatting with a friend.

"So what made you decide to move to LA?" she asked as the waiter placed a martini down in front of her.

"I never like to stay in one place too long if I can't see myself putting down some roots. I love San Francisco but I wanted something a bit more suburban."

"Where were you before San Francisco?"

"A few places. New York most notably a few years ago and LA once before that," he replied before sipping from his scotch on the rocks. "I liked New York, but, uh," he swished his drink glass around for a moment while searching for the right words, then said, "like I said, I like the idea of putting down roots."

"So the plan is to move around until you find a place that feels like home?" In that respect he reminded her a lot of James, who instead of moving from one city to another just came and went as he pleased, moving around the Monopoly board to the various properties he owned, all without apparent consideration to where his own roots would grow.

"Maybe. What about you? Are you an LA girl at heart?"

"Um," she blew out a breath of air through her lips as she considered her answer. "I don't know. I've been here pretty much my whole life. Didn't even stray too far for college. I wouldn’t be opposed to going somewhere better." She shrugged and thought of James, his living-from-a-suitcase domesticity and constant travels to different cities. Personally she liked going somewhere new only long enough to appreciate what she had back at home. Not that she often went somewhere new in the first place. "I guess I haven't given much thought to putting down roots of my own."

"Seeing anyone special?" He glanced up from his menu long enough to let her know he was going to ignore the bit of conversation he had walked in on earlier with Quinn. And she was grateful for that.

Natalie took a deep breath. "I am." She thought of the photo of her and James on her desk back at the office and smiled. "It's still relatively new but, yes, I'd definitely say he is special. What about you?"

"Not in a while. Though I have dated my fair share of remarkably
un
special women." His eyes cast sideways for a moment. "That sounded kind of bad, didn't it?"

"No, not at all." She almost felt sorry for him. From everything she'd seen so far Joe Gallo seemed like a perfectly decent guy, and was certainly easy on the eyes. But she detected something in the subtext of their conversation that made her think there was more to him than just a few
un
special dates. One date with Quinn would quickly break that streak.

Joe cleared his throat and consulted his menu. "So what looks good?"

Once they'd ordered, the conversation steered away from the personal to the professional, and Joe was soon discussing strategy, marketing potential, and the myriad of ideas he had about
The Gentleman's Show
. It was evident in the way he spoke that he was passionate about the project, though she didn't exactly know why. He himself didn't seem like the type who would enjoy going to a male revue show anywhere, let alone in Las Vegas. But he seemed to see the potential beyond the inherent
beefcakeiness,
and by the time their plates were cleared from the table Natalie was absolutely convinced that he could not only bring the account in to Brighton, but that it would be enormously successful.

"I've spoken with Graham Martin and he thinks you'd be perfect as co-manager on the account. I've been asked by the show's owner to pitch our ideas this weekend."

"This weekend? As in a few days from now?"

"He's giving the keynote speech at a conference in Lake Arrowhead and invited me up to meet him. I think you should come make the pitch with me."

Whoa there!
Natalie wanted to laugh at the sudden pace her involvement with just a potential account was taking. "Go with you to Arrowhead this weekend?"

"Sure, why not?"

She was sure she had a legitimate reason for
why not
; unfortunately it wasn't immediately evident to her brain. Less than a day ago Joe Gallo was a stranger and now they were discussing taking a business trip together? It was just a little too fast, a feeling she was going to share with him until she noticed that his attention was locked on something or someone across the room. She followed his gaze to the spot but couldn't specifically see what had caught his attention so acutely.

His once smiling mouth was now clenched into a tight line. His face had fallen slightly ashen.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Would you excuse me for a moment?" He stood and left his seat at the table before Natalie could respond.
How odd
, she thought to herself. She wanted to turn to find where he had disappeared off to but thought better of it.

Her phone vibrated from her lap. She picked it up and found a text message from James on the display.

'Gentleman Twelve: How's work?'

She typed out a quick response. 'Fine. What are you up to?'

'Gentleman Twelve: Taking a tour of the galaxy.'

A photo appeared on the screen to provide context: It was of James and a young girl - Frankie, she presumed - who couldn't have been more than six or seven years old, their faces softly illuminated by the vibrant phone screen and images of stars, planets and distant galaxies projected above and around them. The girl wore thick, black-rimmed glasses that were several sizes too large for her face, and a fascinated smile as she looked off towards the middle distance beyond the camera itself. James' smile was so content and full of humor; she rarely saw him in such good spirit.

Natalie had only seen one or two pictures of Frankie when she was younger, taken before James left New York after Celine confessed not only to the affair but to Frankie's true parentage as well. Seeing James with Frankie, side by side, it was evident they were not genetically related. He was all golden coloring from his honey hair to his tan skin, while Frankie had her mother's cool blonde hair and someone else's deep brown eyes, pronounced nose and slightly olive skin tone.

'Gentleman Twelve: She is asking if you can join us for ice cream when you're done working.'

Natalie's heartbeat quickened. The entire evening had taken one detour after another, from James proclaiming they would have
that conversation,
to Joe asking her to go to Arrowhead, and then the seemingly inconsequential invitation to ice cream by a child who has absolutely no comprehension of the enormity of meeting the daughter of the man she's been seeing.

She took her drink and downed the rest in one long gulp, hoping it would provide an extra ounce of courage or maybe numb the increasing tattering beat of her heart.

'Ice cream sounds delicious. Where should we meet?' After hitting 'send' she set the phone down on the table and took a deep breath. Their waiter appeared with an offer to refresh her drink and she politely declined. When he asked about Joe's drink she made a quick apology and craned her head towards the back of the restaurant in search of her missing co-worker. She just barely recognized his hulk of a physique huddled in a private alcove, his hand resting on the slender shoulder of a woman. Natalie could see her brightly colored tangerine and sherbet pink dress but not her face.

Oh, so that's what tree climbing looks like,
she mused to herself before checking the display of her phone again.

'Gentleman Twelve: Penthouse.'

"I'm so sorry about that, Natalie," Joe apologized as he resumed his seat at the table, looking definitely more peaked than when he had left it. "You ever run into the last person in the world you'd expect to see in the least likely place?"

A vivid memory of her weekend at Eden in Las Vegas came to mind. "Actually, I have."

"Yeah? How'd that turn out?" He held a large hand up to signal for the waiter and then pointed to his drink when he got the man's attention.

"I'll let you know." She watched with keen interest as Joe hammered down the fresh drink in one long gulp. The woman in the tangerine and sherbet dress must have made quite the impression. "Who is she?"

Joe glanced up at Natalie from his glass and bit down on his lip as though he was deciding on what or how much to say. After a beat, he said, "An old friend."

"We're almost done here. You should ask her to have a drink with you."

"I doubt she'd agree to that," he said solemnly into his drink. "She's pregnant." Joe remained silent, brooding. A full minute passed before he seemed to remember where he was and the company he was with. "The friendship didn't end in a very friendly way... I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be going on like this."

"No, it's okay," she offered soothingly, trying to brush off the look of
There is so much more to this story than just friendship
she knew was on her face. "We're going to be working together. Just think of me as a friend."

"Good," he said as he slapped the table, all false bravado. "So I can count on you to pitch this weekend?"

"Absolutely!" she beamed, overcompensating on the cheerfulness to help counteract some of the negativity from the bombshell his ex had just dropped on him. "We can hash out the details in the office tomorrow."

"Great."

As he motioned for the waiter to bring them the check Natalie couldn't help but feel that her own prospects were slightly improved in relation to what Joe had just shared with her. Her biggest challenge was that the man she was happily involved with wanted to spend
more
time with her, unencumbered by a rule put in place by an organization that really had no place dictating who could or couldn't be involved. There were no huge secrets looming in the near distance waiting to explode and mess up her life. And now he wanted to introduce his daughter to her.

Suddenly she couldn't wait for ice cream.

When the penthouse door opened mere seconds after she knocked on it, Natalie was met with a set of caramel brown eyes and a mop of unruly hair that had been haphazardly tied back into a ponytail.

"State your name please," the diminutive young girl commanded.

"Natalie Harlow."

"Miss Harlow, I am going to ask you a series of questions. If you can answer them correctly you will be granted access. Do you understand?"

Natalie offered only a brief smile to indicate she was as serious about the answers as the questioner was asking them. "I understand."

"First question: What is the most abundant element in the universe?"

"That would be hydrogen."

"Very good. Second question: Name two of the four most well known moons of Jupiter."

"Hmmm." Natalie considered while trying to bring up an archived memory from high school science class. "Io and Callisto?"

"I would have also accepted Europa and Ganymede. Third question: Name the planet named for the Greek god of war."

"Well that's a trick question. The Greek god of war is Ares, but its Roman counterpart is Mars, which the fourth planet from the sun happens to be named after."

"Well done." The girl pushed the too-large-for-her-face glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Final question: Star
Trek
or Star
Wars
?"

Natalie smiled and answered, "Star
Wars
."

"Okay you can come in!" the girl beamed as she opened the door wider. "I'm Frankie, by the way."

"It's very nice to meet you, Frankie. You can call me Natalie if you like."

"Okay Natalie. Dad! Your friend answered every question right!"

Natalie hadn't even noticed that James was standing a few feet behind Frankie. She closed the door behind her and smiled as she watched the two together.

"I really thought you were going to stump her with that trick question, buddy."

"Nah. She's pretty smart. Can we show her the planetarium we made?" She scrunched as James slid the glasses up the bridge of her nose once again.

"Sure we can. Why don't you set up a place for Natalie to sit on the floor? She can sit next to me." When Frankie ran off in the direction of the bedroom James leaned in and kissed Natalie sweetly. "Glad you could make it."

"I can never turn down ice cream. Though I must admit I'm surprised the offer came from Frankie. I didn't realize she even knew about me."

"She did a little. She was playing with my phone and saw that picture of you I took this morning. She asked me who the pretty lady was and after I explained she insisted on inviting you over." He leaned in and kissed her again, lingering just a moment longer than he did the first time. "I'm glad you'll finally get to meet her."

"Well it was fortunate I passed the test," she said sincerely. "So, planetarium?"

"Right! So-" he put an arm around her waist and guided her into the living room. "Turn the lights off and the projector puts stars on the ceiling and walls. Then we use an app on the iPad that displays constellations in the sky based on GPS."

Frankie returned, her arms filled with extra blankets and pillows. "When you move the iPad the sky moves with you! We can even point it down to see what the sky looks like on the other side of Earth!"

"It even plays music," James added with a smile.

Natalie marveled at how utterly relaxed James seemed. His eyes were alive with light and warmth as he watched the six year old strategically place the pillows and blankets into a makeshift seat next to the ones she and James had already been occupying. Natalie set her purse down on the dining table and slipped her shoes off before taking a seat next to James, who was himself dressed down in a white tee shirt and cotton pajama pants.

"Everybody ready for the lights to go out?"

"Yes!" Frankie called out from her position in front of them.

"Alright, let's bring out the stars." He held up a remote to dim the room's lighting to near blackness. The projection device came to life, peppering the darkened walls and ceiling with pinholes of light like diamonds on the sky. Frankie held the iPad up high enough for Natalie to see and the Milky Way galaxy came to life. Every time Frankie tapped on a favorite star or constellation, atmospheric music played through the small speaker. She chatted excitedly about distant planets and galaxies, spouted trivial facts she'd learned in school and in independent study. She was remarkably intelligent for such a young person, and Natalie found herself in awe of her.

When James excused himself to answer a phone call Frankie took the opportunity to scoot into his seat. She put the tablet down in her lap and looked up expectantly at Natalie.

"Do you believe in aliens?" she asked, her brown eyes so large and endearing, like an animated character.

"Hmm," Natalie considered. "Do I think there are little green men who travel the universe in a saucer-shaped ship? No. But there's probably some
thing
or some
one
out there somewhere amongst the stars."

"There's a man in our building who looks like an alien."

Natalie stretched out her legs and leaned her back against the couch. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, he's got very little hair and his head comes to a funny point. Even his ears are enormous!"

"That does sound rather odd."

"Here, you pick one."

Natalie took the iPad from Frankie and held it out in front of her. Frankie leaned in close and rested her elbow on Natalie's thigh, her attention transfixed on the starry spectacle before them.

"Okay, let's see."

Together they perused the solar system, reading aloud descriptions of well-known star systems and learning about the origins of constellations named by ancient peoples, the in-app music scoring the soundtrack of their relative silence.

"How long have you known my dad?"

Natalie's finger hovered over the iPad screen as she absorbed the completely out-of-the-blue question. She should have known the girl would have questions - what child wouldn't - but she was so taken aback by her extraordinary intelligence she almost forgot Frankie was a child.

"I met your dad..." she trailed off as she counted backwards through her memory. "Let's see, it was about seven or eight months ago."
Please don't ask me
where
or
how
I met him. Please.

"Do you know my mom, too?"

"No, I don't. I met her once, but it was very brief."

Natalie couldn't help but wonder just how much of James and Celine's situation Frankie understood. She didn't quite know what to say to her; Natalie's parents had been married her entire life, were perfectly happy. Did Frankie know why they were no longer living together? Surely they wouldn't have told her that James wasn't her real father. Could she comprehend the concept of divorce at her young age?

And what exactly had James said to Frankie to explain Natalie?

Snap out of it
, she chided herself. She cleared her throat and swiped through the iPad screen to find a new star to look at.

Then, Frankie asked, "What's a sleepover?"

For a moment Natalie considered the possibility that Frankie was more self-aware than she let on, and that the sudden line of questioning was an attempt to disarm her.
She's a child
, Natalie had to remind herself. She tried to brush off the question as though it weren't the most startling thing the girl had said so far that evening.

"A sleepover is when someone spends the night at another person's house. Haven't you ever stayed the night at your best friend's house? Or had your best friend stay at yours?"

"No. Sometimes when my dad visits he sleeps over. Is that the same thing?"

Natalie glanced sideways to get a read on the girl's face. She just looked like a curious kid, nothing more. Still, a cramp twisted somewhere deep in Natalie's stomach. She adjusted the position of her legs beneath her to encourage blood flow and keep them from falling asleep.

"Well your dad used to live there, so it's kind of different." She thought he stayed in hotels when he went to New York. He never mentioned staying in the house he once lived in, but she guessed that wasn't entirely abnormal.

Frankie looked up at Natalie, her big brown eyes bright and inquisitive. "Do you have sleepovers?"

Natalie chuckled uncomfortably. She adjusted the neckline of her dress, feeling just slightly too warm all of a sudden. "Sometimes," she replied.
Where is James?
She glanced up and around the room but didn't see him anywhere.

"Are you going to marry my dad?"

Oh my god
! She was starting to sweat. Why did the sudden thought that she was being interrogated by a six year old make her want to dissolve into a fit of hysterical laughter? "Why do you ask?"

"He smiles a lot when he talks about you. And he said you were really pretty. And he said you were his special friend."

Natalie could practically envision it in her mind: her in a white dress, James in a tuxedo, and Frankie standing before them, wearing a reverend's robe, waiting to officiate from her iPad, glasses sliding down the slope of her tiny nose.

"No," she finally answered, hoping the girl could hear the humor in her voice. "No, I'm not going to marry your dad."

"Do you love him?"

Natalie never knew a question could knock the wind from her lungs. Remnants of humor dissipated so quickly she almost felt the physical absence they left behind.

Do you love him?

The question reverberated in her mind, and though it was merely a child's voice asking, the weight of the question struck her hard.

"Frankie why don't you give me a hand with the ice cream?" James called out as he reappeared in the room.

"Okay!" Frankie jumped up to her feet, her question apparently forgotten, and left Natalie on the floor with her thoughts. How was she supposed to recover from
that
question? It muddled her thoughts, dispossessed her of rational thought in that moment.

Do you love him?