Seaglass (14 page)

The open kitchen window let in the cold evening air. The days were beginning to warm with a hint of the coming spring, but the evenings could bring a stern reminder that winter was not yet through. Knox closed the window and then carefully checked that it was locked. He’d been back home for a little over two weeks and was finally starting to feel a sense of peace settle over him. His instructor from the Institute had come home with him and they’d worked together for a several days to make his home as “user friendly” as possible.

If truth be told, he’d done a lot of adapting long ago. His eyesight was such that he’d subconsciously ben making adjustments all along. Even his instructor at the Institute had been impressed with the way he’d ordered his home.

Knox had always been neat, but he’d learned precision was his best friend. His clothing was simple and organized by season and color. Thankfully, his ability to see color was still intact. His mind flashed immediately the blue seaglass eyes that haunted his dreams.

His range of acuity had reduced so significantly, he now needed to hold objects closer than eight inches for them to become truly clear. He passed through the kitchen and ran his hand along the cool granite. He could see an orange blob on the countertop. He reached out and touched the objects and discovered a bowl of fruit. Oranges and bananas. Kayla, of course. He smiled as he snagged an orange and walked through the back door and down the gravel path to his workshop.

At the door, he stopped and flipped on the overhead work lights. They helped dispel the darkness, but did nothing to bring the various shapes into focus. Knox walked to the radio and pushed play. The sounds of Pearl Jam filled the air and helped to relax him a little. Eddie Vedder crooning about a man’s final curtain call put him in a reflective mood. Now, it was time to face the elephant in the room; or more precisely, the currently covered hand-made dresser than he had been building for Maddie.

He pulled back the drop cloth and stepped forward to touch the intricate floral detail that he’d begun carving along the top drawer. He could see it in his mind’s eye: The vine twisting up and down with flowers blossoming along the way. Now, he moved to a drawer than had been left in the vice waiting for the glue to dry. He moved to the clamps and released the tension. He felt along the dovetailed edges and noticed a little glue had seeped out and hardened. He reached over and grabbed a sanding sponge and gently removed the glue and then continued to smooth out the rough patches until it a test of his sensitive hands revealed it was without a single burr or flaw.

He stood up and walked to the edge of the bench where he kept his finest woodworking tools. With a shaky exhale, he picked up his carving knife and moved to the drawer. Knox reached out and touched the partially completed vine, carefully locating the edge where he’d stopped previously.

“It’s now or never.” He said to himself as he began to work. His first strokes were tentative and shaky, but as he moved over the delicate shapes, he allowed the picture in his mind to guide his hand. A time or two, he realized he wasn’t even looking directing at the piece.

Time didn’t seem to matter anymore. He could feel the chill of the night move through the air, yet he continued. His stomach grumbled and his hands ached with fatigue but he was so engrossed in the project that he dare not stop. Not to mention, fear crept through his belly that maybe once he stopped, he wouldn’t be able to continue.

Finally, the roar of the BMW interrupted him and he was forced to put down his tools. He stood up and stretched his back.

“Knox!”

“Don’t sound so surprised to see me, Kay. I live here, after all.”

“It’s not that, you moron. I’ve been calling you for hours.”

Knox quickly patted his front pocket and realized his cell was missing. He must’ve left it inside. “Sorry. Phone’s in the house.”

“What are you doing?” She asked.

He watched the short blob with the bright yellow hair move toward him. “Wow.” She said reverently. “This is amazing.”

“I just finished it.”

“You…what?”

“The vine was already complete, but the flower blossoms are new. I just did them now.”

“Now? As in…right now?”

“Yes.” He answered slowly.

“Knox.” She blew out a breath. “This is…amazing.”

“Thanks.” He smiled and couldn’t help the pride from shining through. “I didn’t know if I could still do it.”

Kayla watched her brother duck his head and then carefully stow his tools back in their designated slots. She knew what a big deal this was.

“Well, you can.” She leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“So, you just wanted to make sure I wasn’t lying dead somewhere in a pool of my own blood?”

“No! Fine, yes.” She laughed. “I was worried, okay. I admit it.”

Now he laughed too. “I guess I can’t blame you—this time.” He warned. “You are gonna need to learn to trust me, though. I’ve been through all the training like a good doggie.”

“I’m sure they didn’t teach a course on woodworking with razor sharp tools.” She scoffed.

“Actually, they did.”

“Huh.” She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I’m assuming you took that course?”

“What can I say? It’s what I love.” He smiled.

Kayla returned his smile, realizing it was beyond good to see Knox with a chisel in his hand. “I hope it’s still okay if I pop by now and then.”

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” He moved over to where she leaned on the workbench and bumped her shoulder with his.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence while Knox cleaned up his workspace and recovered the dresser.

“Who’s that for, anyway?”

He turned and shot her a look that normally would have her backing off.

“It’s for Maddie. Isn’t it?”

“Not anymore, apparently.”

“Have you heard from her?” She asked gently.

“No.”

“Maybe she’s—“

“Kay, I think we both need to face the truth—we’ve been dumped.” He laughed, trying to ignore the ache in his heart.

“I don’t believe that. Not for a second.”

“She said she was planning to come out and visit, but that was months ago. I haven’t heard from her since.”

“Have you called her?”

Knox shot her a look as he went about cleaning up his work area.

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Kay,” he pinched the bridge of his nose trying to stave off the growing headache, “I think it’s best if we leave it alone.” He finished softly.

He didn’t hear any noise except for the scuffing of her shoes against the rubber mats on the floor.

“Kay?”

“I just miss her.” She answered with a watery voice. Knox’s heart broke a little for his sister. He’d lost the woman he loved, but he hadn’t stopped to think that his sister had lost a friend.

“C’mon, let’s eat. I’m assuming your brought dinner.” He reached for her elbow and let her guide him out of the workshop and back into the house.

She patted his hand, but then focused on the task of guiding him in the technique that the instructors at the Institute had showed her. She wanted to do it with professionalism and nonchalance. She wanted to get past this awkward phase, for both of their sakes. She wanted everything back the way it was. She wanted…she stopped her train of thought and realized, as she watched Knox locate a stool at the breakfast bar by running the back of his hand along the counter, that nothing was ever going to be the same again.

xXx

A week later, Kayla stormed through Knox’s front door. “Well, it’s official.” Her clear voice rang out in the air. She plowed through into the kitchen and stopped abruptly.

“What are you doing?”

“Cooking.”

“Since when do you cook?”

“Since I started taking a cooking class.”

“Wow.” She said with a shrug as she opened the fridge and pulled out a Dr. Pepper and then thinking of the empty calories, switched it for a bottle of water. “Good for you.”

“So, you were saying…” he gestured for her to continue as he returned his attention to the bowl of ground meat he was shaping into meatballs.

“Oh. Yeah. I am officially headed toward single status.”

Knox stopped and turned with a raised eyebrow. “It’s official?”

“We are officially separated. It’s all very civilized.”

“You seem unusually calm about this.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“If you must.”

“I didn’t realize how pathetic my marriage was until I saw the way you and Maddie were together.”

The sound of her name stabbed him in the heart. “Oh.” He grunted as he turned back to his meatballs and rolled them with renewed determination.

“I didn’t mean to bring her up. I’m sorry.” She said as she walked around the island and put a hand on his back. “Can I help?”

“You can stir the sauce.” He responded gruffly. She lifted the lid on the large saucepan and gave it a quick stir. “Smells good.”

“Thanks. You can stay for dinner if you want.”

“I can’t. My soon-to-be ex-husband is on a date with his girlfriend and I need to pick up the kids from the sitter.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. That sounded strange even to me.”

“How much longer before he is officially your ex-husband?”

“Not much longer. We’re being incredibly mature and amicable.”

“Good for you.”

“There’s also the fact that if I brought his adulterous ass in front of a judge, he’d end up paying so much in alimony and child support he’d end up living with his parents for the rest of his life.”

“And this is a bad thing?”

She laughed. “I don’t know. I mean, don’t get me wrong—I hate him and all that stuff, but I don’t want to nail his ass to the wall.”

“But he is going to pay, right?”

“Yeah. I helped put him through law school and raised his children while he was working to make partner. He’s seen enough ugly divorces to know how that’ll end up if he tries to weasel out of it.”

“Good. I don’t want you struggling while he’s living like a king.”

“Well, maybe I’ll be the one living like a queen. I’m working full time now and I’m having a good year.”

“Yes you are.” he smiled. “You’ve earned quite a nice rep in this town.”

“I wish I could thank her. It was her flips that got me started.”

Knox didn’t have the heart to chastise her for bringing up Maddie’s name again. If truth be told, she was never far from his thoughts, anyway.

Kayla seemed to get the message anyway. She touched his back again as she passed by. “I’d better go.”

Knox turned to the sink and scrubbed his hands and then followed her to the door.

“Are you gonna be okay tonight?” He asked as he leaned on the doorframe. He followed her shock of blonde hair standing a few feet in front of him, but beyond that, everything was shrouded in darkness. Her lack of response has him leaning out the door.

“Kay?”

He watched as the blonde bob move rapidly down the front steps of his house and into the darkness.

“Kay?”

“Hello Knox.” Maddie’s’ soft voice stunned him as he felt his heart squeeze tight.

“Maddie?” He asked in total disbelief.

He tried to force his eyes to seek her out in the darkness, but the only thing his pathetic sight revealed was her pale oval face framed in blackness.

“Can I come in?” She said softly; solemnly.

“Yeah.” He breathed the word, still stunned by her sudden appearance on his doorstep. Knox moved to the side and felt the displacement of air as she passed by. She smelled the same, he realized as he closed his eyes inhaled deeply.

Now in the light of his hallway, his vision cleared a bit but the desire to pull her in close so overwhelmed him that he had to shove his hands in his front pockets to stop himself from reaching out and touching her.

“Here. Let’s sit.” He gestured to the small living room with its comfortable couch. He watched her walk to the far end of the couch and sit. He heard the slide of fabric as she crossed her long legs. It didn’t sound like denim, and from what he could tell, it was a gray material; more like a suit.

“I’m sorry to just turn up like this.” She said nervously.

“It’s okay.” He said as he moved to the opposite corner of the room and sat in the recliner. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She answered automatically in that robotic voice he’d come to hate.

“Why are you here?” He probed gently.

“Why…” She looked up and into his face and can’t believe she came all this way to talk to him and now is completely tongue tied.

“Maddie?” He tried again, concerned.

“I had to see you. I needed to see you.” She said, hoping the plain truth would be enough.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I…um…I don’t know.” She laughed a little nervously; the edges of insanity creeping into her voice as she realized what a crazy and spontaneous thing she’d done. She thought once she was face to face with him it would be easier, but wasn’t. It was harder. Maddie looked around the warm and cozy living room. Things made sense here. She could think here. Those had been her only thoughts as she boarded the plane.

She looked up into his dark eyes and saw the worry she’d put there.

“I’m sorry I disturbed you. I had so many things I planned to say…” she whispered, fighting the tightening of her throat. “Now that I’m sitting in the same room with you, I can’t remember the words…” she trailed off and watched his brow crease.

“It’s late. I’m sorry about this.” She stood up and moved to the doorway. “I should go—“

“Wait.” He stood up, suddenly afraid that if she left he’d never see her again. “Where are you staying?”

Her brain was running at such a slow speed, she could barely conjure a lie. The truth of course, was that she hadn’t thought that far ahead. She said the first thing that popped into her head.

“I hadn’t worked that out yet. I’m gonna try for a room at the Touchstone hotel.”

“It’s booked.” Knox said, frowning. “There’s a wedding.”

“Oh.” She repeated, still feeling like she’d stepped into an alternate reality. Was she really standing in Knox’s living room in Touchstone?

He frowned and deep line appeared between his eyebrows. “Maddie?”

“I…I wanted to—“

“See me? Yeah, I got that. Well, now you have. I’m fine. I’m okay, see?” He spreads his arms. Knox feels his back go up; wondering how many people will come to see the newly minted blind man. Even as those dark thoughts entered his mind, he stopped them. This was Maddie. This was different. He tried to conjure Kayla’s words from so long ago
…Maybe your eyes never mattered to her…

“I’m sorry.” She said as she walked toward the front door. She placed her hand on the doorknob, but didn’t open it; instead, she rested her head against it, closing her eyes. The fatigue of the last twenty four hours caught up to her. The rush of adrenaline that had carried her to his doorstep was long gone. Now, weary and bone-tired, she sagged against the door.

She felt his presence behind her but she didn’t turn around. She didn’t want him to see that she was a just a shell of the woman that had left here all those months ago. She felt like a ghost.

Knox stood behind her for several long seconds just listening to her shallow breathing. He could sense her fragility and it frightened him a little.

“Stay here tonight, Maddie. I have a spare room. It’s late.”

“I don’t have any of my things.” She bumbled out the first thing that sprung to mind. “And besides, I don’t want to put you out.”

“I have something you can sleep in and an extra toothbrush. Let’s worry about the rest tomorrow.”

Maddie turned back to see that Knox had extended his hand out to her. She slid her hand into his, feeling the familiar electric current pass between them. No one has touched her in so long. Knox gently pulled her forward and up the stairs.

“Here.” He opened the door to a small, but fully furnished extra bedroom.

“There’s an attached bath through the far door there.” He released her hand and gestured to the other side of the room.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Knox said as he gave her a quick backward glance and then disappeared down the stairwell.

Maddie looked at the small bedroom with its rustic bedframe and red, plaid blanket tucked neatly over the mattress. The welcoming sight was enough to have her fragile façade cracking. She felt the wetness of tears as they slid down her cheeks. She quickly swiped at her damp face and attempted to calm her emotions.

She unbuttoned her tailored suit jacket and tossed it on a rocking chair in the corner. Next, she moved to the perfectly made bed and sat down on the edge to remove her Louboutins. Her arches and ankles gratefully cracked as she flexed her feet. This was real, she thought. This place was real…it was the rest of her life that was the illusion.

“Maddie?”

She looked up, a little startled to see Knox standing in the doorway holding a small pile of folded clothes.

“The t-shirt’s mine, but these are your pants. You left ‘um here…and, anyway. Here.” He held them out to her as realization dawned that he couldn’t see exactly where she was in the room. She swallowed hard to hide the sudden swell of grief for him. She quickly rose and crossed the floor to take the clothes from his hands.

“Thank you, Knox. I really appreciate your letting me stay.”

As she swam into focus, he couldn’t help but stare into her blue eyes. She was the woman he loved. There simply was no denying it. He’d give her the world if he could.

“Get some sleep.” He finally said before turning away and heading back downstairs.

Maddie managed to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep but when she awoke and looked out the window, she realized it was still dark outside. She checked the clock to discover she’d only made it to three o’ clock in the morning. After a few feeble attempts to go back to sleep, she finally gave up.

Madeline crept out of bed and down the short flight of stairs. Despite the months and months since she’d been here, she still knew the layout of his home well and could thankfully maneuver around the kitchen using only the moonlight that spilled in from the windows.

She filled the kettle and kept a vigilant eye on it so that it wouldn’t whistle and wake Knox. When the water was ready, she grabbed a mug from the little shelf above the sink and added a tea bag before heading to the back door. The darkened doorway of Knox’s woodshop beckoned her and before she realized what she was doing, she found herself walking along the familiar white pebble path. Even as she basked in the safety and familiarity of Knox’s home, she was aware that staying here would only mean running away from her problems back in New York. No, she thought. Not this time. This time, she’d fight.

Maddie thought of Knox’s woodshop as his heart and soul. The work he did in there was that of a gifted artist. His hands had the ability to transform things that most people had given up on as junk. She smirked at the irony. He’d always supported her; even when she didn’t deserve it. She’d come here, yet again, to take from him. She wanted his comfort. She needed his soothing words.

She put her hand on the doorknob, but found it locked. Even so, she could still smell the familiar scents of sawdust and mineral spirits she often associated with Knox. She closed her eyes and let the sweet, pure air of Touchstone fill her lungs. The air in New York seemed heavier and more oppressive. She didn’t want to go back inside. Maddie sat down on the little bench outside the door and tried to imprint as much of Touchstone as she could on her soul.

xXx

He couldn’t see shit at night and it frustrated him to no end. He’d woken when he heard her moving around in the bedroom above him and then when she crept down the stairs. He had to commend her efforts; she was exceptionally quiet. She even managed to snap the burner off before the kettle whistled, but it was his house and he knew it like the back of his hand.

And of course, he knew that she was outside right now. He threw the light blanket off his legs and stood up. The oppressive heat of the summer was gone now and the nights were bordering on chilly. He grabbed a t-shirt and sweatpants and pulled them on as he made his way out of his bedroom and down the hall. He was about to turn left to move toward the kitchen, when he swung right instead, and retrieved his cane.

He hadn’t used it at home very much, but mostly that was because he stuck with very familiar turf. In fact, if he was being honest, he’d been relying a lot on his remaining vision and a few helpful guides instead of his trusty cane. He was warned at the Institute that pride would only get in the way, and now as he snapped off the elastic cord and let the cane unfurl and lock into place, he swallowed that pride; hard.

He moved forward, using his cane in accordance with his steps as per his helpful instructors and he did have to admit, it gave him an odd sense of security to know that the floor directly in front of him was clear of obstacles.

He arrived at the backdoor and stepped through. He could see nothing except the soft glow of the quarter moon. He stepped forward and felt the difference between the wooden boards of his back deck and the small stoned walkway with the tip of his cane.

“I’m over here on the bench by the shop door.”

He determinedly walked forward, letting his cane clear the way. When he’d counted his steps to seventeen, he stopped.

“I’m sorry I woke you.”

“What are you doing out here?” He asked as he rested his hands on top of his cane.

“I don’t know.”

He could tell she was looking away from him; toward the mountains.

“Maddie.”

He heard the swish of her hair as she swung her head back to face him.

“I want to come back here, Knox. I want to be with you more than…” she trailed off as her emotions overwhelmed her.

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because I’m a fool.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Everything you said was true.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you said that I was begging for table scraps…”

Knox felt a little sick to his stomach remembering the angry words he’d hurled at her. “Maddie—“

“You were right.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was toying with me. Pretending…I don’t know.”

“What did he do?” He asked; voice hard.

“He’s suing me.”

“What? Why?”

“My portion of my mother’s estate, among other things.”

“What? That’s insane. He can’t do that!”

“He’s gonna try.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know. I have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to figure out my options.”

“That’s why you’re flying back tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” She stood and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “I need to get back before they realize I left.”

He stood and gently turned her to go back inside. “Come on, you need sleep. We’ll worry about the rest in the morning.”

They walked back across the pebble path with her head leaning on his chest and his arm wrapped around her shoulder. It was not lost on him that he was guiding her and it swelled something inside of him. Once back inside the kitchen, she turned to him.

“Thanks…and I’m sorry.”

He still couldn’t see her well. Her face was just far enough away so that she remained blurry. He reached around her waist and gently pulled her closer.

“I want to see you.” His voice was rough with desire and need and when she entered the magical eight inch mark, his breath hitched as his eyes hungrily took in those blue, seaglass eyes. He framed her face with his hands.

“There you are.”

He found himself studying everything about her face; her full lips, the straight line of her nose and the angle of her jaw. He touched her forehead and then let his fingers trail down her temple and to the back of her neck. He watched her watching him and saw the parting of her lips as desire swept through her too.

Finally, he stepped back and let his hand drop. “Sorry.” He ducked his head. “I didn’t mean—“

Whatever he was about to say was abruptly cut off when she stepped forward again and covered his lips with hers. The taste of her overwhelmed his senses and his hands began roaming her body and then pulling her tighter and tighter to him.

“Knox.” She exhaled his name with a throaty whisper. “Knox.”

“Maddie,” he said in response. His body hardened under her cold hands as she ran her fingers under his t-shirt and then down the sides of his stomach, stopping at the waistband of his pants.

He pulled away, but held her hand still as he stepped through the hallway and to his bedroom. He didn’t speak, but gave her enough time to protest, if that’s what she wanted. As they stood facing each other at the foot of the bed, she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder.

“I want you, Knox. I want to be with you.” She said as she sat down and slid backward until she was in the center of the bed. He smiled and covered her body with his; hovering above her while their legs lay tangled. She reached up and kissed him; long and deep and felt the weight of him relax into her. Here, now, she could be in control and she could trust this man the way she’d never been able to trust anyone before. Yes, she thought. This is home.