Scandalous Redemption (Ladies and Scoundrels #3) (12 page)

He climbed in and settled beside her, taking the reins in his hands. “I hear you were a smashing success at last night’s ball.”

“Thank you. It was a splendid night. I will forever be grateful to Her Grace for procuring me the voucher. I do believe my relaunch into society could not have gone better.” She lifted a hand to her chest. “My, how I do prattle on.”

“I like to listen to you talk. Never doubt it.” He turned his head, taking in the sight of her for a brief moment before turning his attention back to the cobblestone road they travelled.

“What of you? Why did you take leave of the ball so early?” She studied his profile as she awaited his answer.

“I simply overtaxed myself. Nothing a good night’s sleep could not cure.”

She noticed the way his jaw muscle flexed. There was more to it than being overtaxed, but she would not pry.

He brought the curricle to a stop across from Gunter’s and climbed down. She picked at the folds of her skirts, ruminating on her deceit while Henry ordered their ices. They could both get hurt by her silence, her selfishness. She should tell him she would not marry again. Surely, he must have that particular outcome in mind. Marriage was, after all, the natural conclusion to a successful courtship. It was the very reason for courting in the first place.

Still, she enjoyed his company, his attention, and longed for his touch as she had never longed for another. She fancied herself half in love with him, though she could not say for sure when it had happened.

Perhaps it was that first night when he saved her from disgracing herself and her cousin. No one had ever put themselves out in such a way for her before. Then when he opened up to her about his past and held her in his arms after that silly game of tag. Her heart undoubtedly became his.

If she were any other lady, she would consider herself fortunate to marry Henry. He was dashing, sincere, gallant, what more could a lady want? Nevertheless, she knew all too well what marriage meant and the devastation that came with it. Her scars ran deep. She would not soon forget the lessons she learned at Akford’s hands. A shiver assaulted her, rattling her bones. She had to tell Henry that she would not marry again.

“A treat almost as sweet as you are.” Henry held out a pineapple ice startling her from her introspection.

Perhaps it would be best not to spoil this day. “Thank you.” She accepted the treat as he moved to lean against the square’s railing. He stretched his long legs out and propped one elbow up, smiling at her. Yes, she would savor this day for the rest of her life. Tomorrow, she would put an end to their courtship.

SCANDALOUS REDEMPTION

CHAPTER TWELVE

Tomorrow had come
and gone, but Claudia remained mum on the topic of marriage. Every day for the last fortnight, Henry had called on her. He took her for rides in his curricle, strolls through Hyde Park, and for ices at Gunter’s. In the evenings, he sought her out at balls and soirees, always dancing two sets with her, and though they were nonconsecutive, she understood his intent.

“Claudia, dear, did you hear me?” Vivian tapped her fan on the arm of her chair. “I said I have it on the best of authority that Lord Shillington is going to offer for you.”

Her head spun, causing the room to tilt around her. He planned to propose to her. The news should not come as a shock. She had let the courtship go on far too long. If it killed her and it well might, she would beg him off today. Preferably, before he had a chance to embarrass them both by proposing. Claudia lifted her teacup. “I will not marry him.”

“Surely, you jest.” Vivian pinned Claudia beneath her stare. “Your courtship has gone splendidly.”

“I most certainly do not jest. I told you long ago that I would not marry again.” Her heart broke at the words, but she did not allow her pain to show. Instead, she notched her chin in a stubborn show.

“He makes you happy. I see it in the way you look at him. Your face lights up at the mention of his name.” Vivian pointed her fan at Claudia. “You are in love. Do not deny it.”

Claudia could not refute her love for him if she tried, but nor did she have to admit her foolishness. She flicked open her fan and waved it in front of her burning cheeks. She would rather beg him off and remember their time together with happiness, then marry him and grow to be miserable. Her heart would heal, as would his.

Vivian looked at Duchess Abernathy. “Do say something.”

The duchess lowered her teacup to the table. “Love is a complicated emotion. Perhaps it would be best if we let them work this out on their own.”

Claudia angled her head toward the duchess. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, dear.” The duchess smiled. “Nonetheless, I must also warn you not to be too hasty. As I told you before, marriage is a wonderful thing when two people truly love one another. Be mindful, you may not get a third chance with him.” She retrieved her teacup. “I will say no more on the matter.”

Claudia desperately wished she could believe the duchess’s words. She saw the proof of them in Vivian’s marriage. Still, the risk was too great. How could one know for sure that marriage to a certain person would turn out to be a happy union? They could not, and she for one would not gamble with her lifelong happiness.

“Vivian, where did you glean your information?” Claudia should not have asked, but curiosity pushed her to it. Mayhap her cousin was mistaken after all.

“Lady Jane told me. She helped Lord Shillington choose a ring. There is no mistake about it. He will offer for you.” Vivian pushed a wayward curl from her cheek.

Claudia sighed. “If only he would agree--”

“Surely, you are not still considering that scandalous idea?” Vivian smacked her fan on the chair again.

“Now this is interesting. Do tell?” The duchess leaned forward, her attention riveted on Claudia.

Vivian rushed to answer, “Nothing.” Her cheeks flamed. “Simply a foolish idea I am quite certain Claudia cast away long ago. Truly, it does not bear repeating.”

The duchess glanced between them before settling her gaze on Claudia. “Do not keep me in suspense.”

“Vivian is right. I should not have ventured there. It is a foolish musing.” Claudia absently smoothed her skirts.

“Goodness me.” The duchess placed her hand on her breasts. “You were about to suggest Lord Shillington become your lover.”

The color on Vivian’s cheeks deepened. “Oh, Claudia, would never do such a thing! The very idea is preposterous.”

Claudia stared at the duchess. Now that the words were out, she intended to discover Duchess Abernathy’s opinion on the matter. “However did you guess?”

“You love him but refuse to marry. Taking him as a lover would give you what you want. It is a logical conclusion.” The duchess grinned.

Claudia set her fan aside. “That is the very thing I thought. We could be happy together without me becoming his prisoner.”

“Marriage does not make you a prisoner, Claudia. I for one am quite happy to be wed.” Vivian set her teacup down a bit harder than necessary, splashing its contents on the table. A servant rushed forward to mop up the spill.

The duchess continued to focus her attention on Claudia. “Such an arraignment would be a short term solution. Eventually, he would have to marry. It is, after all, his duty to the family title.”

“I have pondered that. By the time he must wed, the affair may well have run its course. If not… That is, if I choose to…”

Vivian stood abruptly. “I am shocked we are engaging in such scandalous talk. That is quite enough.”

Claudia met her cousin’s wide eyes. “Truly Vivian, we are all friends here. We can speak freely amongst ourselves. Furthermore, none of us retains a claim to our innocence. Even you know the marriage bed.”

“Claudia is quite right. Discreet affairs happen all the time amongst the aristocracy.” The duchess patted the wingback chair beside her. “Do sit down.”

Vivian sighed but did as the duchess bid her. “Claudia, I beg of you, do not suggest such an arrangement to Lord Shillington.”

“On the contrary, I see no reason not to.” Duchess Abernathy winked at her before turning back to Vivian. “I assure you, there is nothing wrong with a discreet affair between a widow and a gentleman.”

“I could not agree more.” Claudia smiled at the duchess, grateful for her reassuring words.

“Oh, very well. Do let us speak of something else.” Vivian waved her fan frantically in front of her crimson cheeks. “My nerves cannot take much more of this.”

Claudia’s butler stepped into the doorway. “Lord Shillington to see you, my lady.” He stepped aside and Henry strolled into the room.

Claudia bit her lip. She desperately wished she could sink into the floorboards.
Pray, do not let him propose in front of my company.
She had no desire to embarrass him publicly, and most certainly could not suggest he become her lover in front of the others. Even if they did know her intentions, it would not be fair to Henry. Poor Vivian would likely faint on the spot.

He sketched a deep bow. “Good afternoon, Your Grace, ladies.”

“Please, join us.” Claudia motioned toward an empty chair.

No sooner had Henry sat down, the duchess had him standing back up as she rose to her feet. Claudia and Vivian followed suit.

Duchess Abernathy glanced at Vivian then turned to Claudia. “We really must be taking our leave. Thank you for a delightful afternoon tea.”

“My pleasure, Your Grace.” Claudia curtsied, then watched with her stomach in knots as Vivian and the duchess strolled from the room.

Henry moved to stand in front of her, his eyes dancing as he took her hands in his. “Claudia, we have been courting for quite some time now. I must admit, I have been enamored with you since the very first time I set eyes on you.”

No, no, no.
She pulled her hands from his and stepped back. “You must know how deeply I care for you, Henry--”

“Indeed, I believe I do.” He reached into his pocket.

She stepped back again, her heart fluttering. “I beg of you. Do not propose. I have misled you.”

His eyes dulled. “Misled me how?”

Her heart hitched. “I should have told you from the very beginning, but I enjoyed your company and found you attractive. I still do.” She drew in a deep breath, fighting to keep her courage. “I did not think anything would come of us, and then you said as much yourself.”

His normally warm, brown eyes reflected pain and worry as he stared at her.

Tears threatened but she pushed them back. “At the least, I should have told you when you came calling that first time.”

He came close, taking her hands in his. “Whatever you have to say will not change a thing. I love you, Claudia.”

She bit the inside of her cheek and glanced away. “It will change everything.”

“Nonsense. Now go ahead, say what you must, and you will see it is not so bad after all.”

“I cannot marry you. I will not marry anyone. Not ever.” A rogue tear slid from her eye and he wiped it away with his hand before she continued. “I I-love you too, but marriage is not an option. I will not succumb to chains again.”

“My word.” He dropped her hands and turned away from her. “What did that brute, Akford, do to you?”

“I would rather not say.” She came up behind him and brazenly wrapped her arms around his waist. “Henry, I want you to be my lover.”