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Grace leaned over and kissed me on the check.
Then, she turned to look at Heather. Heather smiled at her, and
Grace placed her hand on the side of Heather’s cheek.

“I could
never
replace your mother, Heather,
but I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need to talk or to cry
or to just ask why men are such assholes at times, I’m your
girl.”

Heather and I both laughed. I loved Grace
already. I knew Ellie didn’t want Grace to leave, and now, neither
did I. Leaning over, Heather hugged Grace and whispered something
in her ear.

“I’ll leave you two girls alone now to chat.
Ari, I made up some chicken and dumplings for y’all. I wasn’t sure,
Heather, how long you and Josh were staying, so I made plenty for
all of y’all. Ellie told me to tell you she’ll be over in a few
hours. She’s helping Gunner and his dad with the cows today. I love
how that girl is not afraid to get down and dirty with the
boys.”

I smiled at Grace and agreed. I wanted to see
Ellie so damn bad. I needed to see her. Just the sound of her voice
calmed me down and helped me to relax.

After Grace was gone, I looked over at
Heather. She attempted to give me a pitiful-ass smile. She moved to
the other side of the bed to give me more room to sit back and put
my legs out.

“Do you need anything, sweets? Want me to
make you something to eat?”

I shook my head. “What happened?”

“What do you mean? What happened with what?”
Heather almost had a panicked look on her face.

“You...Josh…something happened. I can see it
on both of your faces. I could tell that Jeff and I walked in on
something.” I gave her a knowing look.

“Ari, it doesn’t matter. What happened is
over. I can’t do anything about it now, so there’s no use in
talking about it. Really, I’m just ready to move on.”

“Really? Because the look in your eyes says
you are far from ready to move on, Heather. Please tell me. It will
take my mind off of the bab.” I stopped myself, looking away before
I started to cry again.

“Oh, Ari. Sweets, maybe we should talk about
the baby.”

“No! I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Just tell me what the fuck happened between you and Josh.”

Heather let out a sigh and sat down on the
bed.

***

By the time she got me up to speed, I was
sitting there in shock.

“Wait, let me get this straight. You almost
slept with Josh?”

“I wanted to, yes, but he wasn’t having any
of it. Then, Garrett just came barging into your house, and all
hopes of anything happening went right out the door. Y’all really
need to keep your doors locked...like all the time.”

I laughed, holding onto my
side.
Shit!
“So
last night, he went after the guy who started to kiss you? Sounds
to me like Josh is not so ready to move on, Heather. I don’t think
you are either.”

“Well, I am. It’s pretty clear to me, Ari,
that he’s not ever going to change. I mean, he was making out with
me when he’d, just sent Lynda a message about hooking up with her!
What does that say about him?

“Maybe he was frustrated, trying to move on,
but he did it in all the wrong ways.”

“Are you taking his side?”

“No! I’m not taking anyone’s side, Heather.
I’m just saying that he’s a guy. They don’t think with their heads;
they think with their dicks. I don’t doubt that Josh cares about
you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He would do anything for
you, you know that right?”

Heather’s eyes started to tear up. “I can’t
trust him, Ari. As much as I try, I just can’t trust him. What is
it about me that would make him settle for just one girl? I mean,
look at him!”

“What? Heather, oh my god, girl, look in a
damn mirror. You are beautiful. You have a rocking body, tits I
would kill for, an ass that Ellie wants more than anything, and
your personality is beyond amazing. Josh would be lucky to have
you, and he knows that. Why are you selling yourself short?”

“I just can’t. I can’t open up my heart up to
have him leave me. I can’t be left again, Ari. I can’t and I won’t
allow that to happen.” Heather’s whole body started to shake.

Oh my god, she is so not over her parents’
death. She’s nowhere near it.

“
Heather, what makes you
think he’s going to leave you, baby?”

“Everyone leaves me. My parents left me. I
needed them more than anything, and they just left me alone. I
can’t do that again. He’s going to leave me, Ari. He won’t be
faithful.”

Heather lost it and started crying. I’d never
seen her cry so hard. I tried to get up and hug her, but the pain
that shot through my side just about made me fall.

Then, I heard Ellie let out a gasp.

“Ari, don’t move! Heather, oh my god, sweets.
What’s wrong?”

Ellie came rushing over to
my side and helped me back into a sitting position on the bed. I
couldn’t take my eyes off of Heather. It was like she was having a
breakdown.
Finally, she’s letting out the
pain and hurt from her parents’ death.

“Just go help Heather, Ells, I’m fine.”

Ellie walked over and dropped to her knees in
front of Heather and hugged her. I didn’t think it was possible,
but Heather cried even harder. My heart was breaking. She was so
afraid of being left again that, she wouldn’t open her heart to the
one man who loved her.

Ellie rubbed her back. “It’s okay, baby. Just
let it out, Heather. It’s okay.”

“I can’t do this, Ellie! I can’t do this
alone anymore. They left me. Oh my god, they left me alone.”

Ellie looked over at me and I could see the
tears rolling down her face. I tried to fight the tears, but I felt
them stinging my eyes. Heather had been trying to be so brave for
so long. It broke my heart to realize that she’d been feeling like
this for over a year.

I looked up and saw Jeff and Josh standing in
the bedroom doorway.

Heather just kept repeating herself over and
over again. “They left me. They left me alone.”

Josh looked like he was about to get sick. He
started to walk toward her, but Jeff grabbed his arm,pulling him
away.

“Princess, what’s wrong?”

Oh shit.
The moment Josh called her princess, Ellie and I
glanced at each other. Heather looked up at him. I thought she was
going to lash out at him. Instead, she broke down, crying again, as
she got up and ran into Josh’s arms.

What the hell?

Josh looked just as confused as the rest of
us. He held on to her. “What’s wrong? he kept asking.

She pulled away from him and took a few steps
back.

“I’ll always love you, Josh, but…I just can’t
do this.”

She brushed past him as she went out the
door. Josh just stood there for a few seconds before he finally
snapped out of it. He turned and ran after her.

Ellie got up and walked over to my side. She
leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

“You okay, baby? Do you need to talk?”

If one more person asks me that, I’m going
to throw something big and heavy at his or her ass.

“Really, I’m fine. I think I just need to
take a nap.” I looked over at Jeff and smiled.

Ellie gently hugged me good-bye. “Okay. Um,
Grace said she made some stuff for dinner. I guess I’ll go see if
Heather is okay. I love you, Ari. Call me if you need anything
okay?”

She walked over to Jeff.

“Are you okay, Jefferson?”

I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his. He
didn’t even look at Ellie when he shook his head. My heart broke. I
could see the tears building in his eyes, and I knew he was blaming
himself. A part of me blamed his as well, but I was trying so hard
to push it down.

Jeff smiled at me and then turned to Ellie.
“Ellie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Then, he followed Ellie
out of the room.

I closed my eyes as the tears rolled down my
face. I slowly moved onto my side and grabbed a pillow to hug.

You left us. You left us, sweet baby.

CHAPTER
THIRTY-EIGHT

JOSH

My heart felt like someone
had just reached in and ripped it out.
Why
is Heather so upset?
We had been arguing
right before Jeff and Ari had shown up, but she had seemed to be
more pissed-off than upset.

I followed her to the room she was staying
in. She pulled out her bag and started to pack up her stuff.

“I thought you were planning on staying? What
about Ari?”

Heather looked up at me, and
it felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach. Tears were just
rolling down her face.
Holy
shit.

I took a few steps toward her until she held
up her hand.

“Stop. Please don’t come any closer to me. I
don’t think I have the strength to push you away right now.”

“Then, don’t. Heather I don’t understand
this. One minute, you say you want me, and the next, you push me
away. You tell me you love me, but then you push me away again. Why
are you doing this?”

“I can’t do this right now. I just need to… I
just need to get away from here… from you.”

“What the fuck did I do? I can’t fix it,
Heather, if you don’t tell me what I did.”

Heather stopped packing and looked up at me.
“That’s the problem, Josh. You can’t fix it. I think it’s best if
we both just move on. There can never be anything between us. You
can never be with just one girl, let alone me. Come on, we both
know that’s true.”

“You won’t even give me a chance to prove to
you how much I love you and how much I just want to be with you.
Heather, I don’t want any other girl. You’re the only girl…woman…
I’ve ever wanted, and the only woman I’ll ever want. Princess,
please just let me.”

“Oh my god, please stop! No! It’ll never
work, so we need to just stop this now. I don’t want to be with
you. I said I love you, and I do, but...I don’t think you are.”

“You don’t think I’m what?”

Heather took a deep breath and turned away
from me.

“I don’t think you’re the one.”

I just stood there, rejected
again.
How many times am I going to do
this to myself? How many times is she going to hurt me?

Just then, my phone beeped. I took it out and
looked at it. There were three text messages from Lynda.

“Fine, Heather. I’m done being turned down
and pushed away by you. If you want me to leave you alone, you got
it.”

I turned and started to walk out the door as
I hit Lynda’s number.

“Josh, please can we still be friends?”

I turned back and looked at her. My heart was
hurting so bad that I couldn’t even talk to her. I just stood there
with my phone up to my ear. I knew the moment Lynda answered, I was
about to break Heather’s heart, but maybe this was what I needed to
do. She wanted us both to move on.

“Hello, handsome!” Lynda anwered in a chipper
voice.

“Hey, Lynda, how about dinner tonight with
me? Are you in the mood?” I said. Then I turned and walked away
from the only woman I would ever truly love.

***

I hardly heard a word Lynda was saying. We
were sitting in a small restaurant in Fredericksburg that she had
wanted to try. I’d told her earlier that I was heading to the
restroom, but what I really did was call Jeff to ask if Heather had
left yet. She’d left almost as soon as I’d left. Now, all I could
think about was what had gotten her so upset and why she’d told me
she loved me only to leave.

“Josh? Are you even listening to me?”

“Um, yeah. I’m sorry, Lynda. I guess I’m just
thinking about Jeff and Ari.”

“Well, it was nice of you to let them have
the house to themselves this evening. I can’t even imagine how they
both feel. I have to say that I’m relieved that Jeff is not the
father of Rebecca’s baby. I’m sure he and Ari feel the same
way.”

I couldn’t even think straight. I just stared
at Lynda until she finally smiled at me.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I laughed. “I’m fine.”

“The last two days have just been emotionally
draining. That’s all, Lynda. I’m actually thinking about heading
back to Austin tonight. I think Jeff and Ari need to be alone with
each other.”

Sitting up straighter, Lynda
raised her eyebrow at me. I knew what she was thinking.
Do I want to go there?
It
had been months since I’d been with a girl. I only wanted Heather,
but that wasn’t gonna happen.

I reached up my hand and called our waitress
over. She had been flirting with me all night, but Lynda didn’t
seem to care one ounce. As long as I was walking out the door with
her, I don’t think she would care who flirted with me.

***

As we walked back to my
truck, I pulled my phone out to see if maybe Heather had
called.
Nothing.
I
sent her a quick text message to see if she’d made it to Austin
yet.

I wasn’t even in my seat when I got a reply
back from her.

Heather:
In Austin…out with a friend.

What the fuck does that
mean?
I knew her
friend
wasn’t Ellie or Ari.
So who the fuck is she with?
I looked over at Lynda. She was staring at
me…again.

“I um…I need to step outside and make a phone
call that’s kind of personal. Do you mind?”

“No, Josh, not at all. Take your time.”

I walked a few feet away from the truck and
dialed Heather’s number. I didn’t think she would answer, but she
did.

“Is everything okay with Ari?” Heather asked
in a panicked voice.

“What? Oh yeah…ah, she’s fine.”