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              “Love. I am in love with him. He is in love with me. You need to move on, Nick.” I say matter of factually. It’s that simple. I love Josh. It’s not about what he looks like. It’s not about what he does for a living. It is the simplicity of love.

              He jumps off of the couch and pins me up against the wall. His face is inches from mine. I’m trembling. “You don’t know anything about love. You are a selfish, loveless whore. Love is watching you with him and waiting…waiting for the right moment to get you alone. Weeks…weeks I waited. Now, you’re here…alone. And, where is he? Strumming his guitar. Enough. I had enough. You are coming with me…now.”

              His hands are on me and I have to fight the vomit that is rising in the back of my throat. While using his left arm to keep me pinned against the wall, he moves his right hand to just below my skirt and inches it up. Tears begin to run down my face. The hand is inching closer and closer to the edge of my underwear. I lock my legs together to keep the hand from handling any part of that area.

              As he fights with the strength of my legs, I hear the front door slam. He turns his head to look over his shoulder. He is out of breath from the struggle. “Sofie.”

              I knee him in his crotch and he falls to the ground clutching him self. As I try to get passed him, he grabs at my ankles making me fall to the ground next to him. I kick, claw, scream to do whatever I can to get him away from me. I plead with Sofie to help but she is just standing and staring wide eyed. He gets me on to my back and straddles me. Again, I am going wild to get away. To stop me from moving, he puts his hands together and raises his arms over his head and delivers three debilitating blows to my abdomen. I make a gurgling, coughing sound and clutch my stomach. 

              Nick has all of the power now. He takes his hands and wraps them around my neck and begins to squeeze. The last image I have in my head is Sofie. I take her in and see the evidence of abuse on her face. I feel bad for her. I want her to get away. The oxygen is cut off from my throat and my world goes black again.

                                                                      JOSH

              Bree has been missing from where Lena is standing for over 3 songs. I’m starting to worry and it shows. I miss a chord here and there. Eric glares and me and mouths, “What the fuck?”

              I mouth back, “Bree.” He looks in Lena’s direction and goes wide-eyed.

              I have been so focused on looking for Bree that I have ignored Lena. She looks insanely anxious. She’s looking to the gate of the fence repeatedly. We finish the fourth song and I almost scream in to the mic, “We’re taking a break.”

              I jump from the stage area shirking through the mountains of people. I reach Lena. “Where is she?” I panic.

              “She went to get something at her house. She said she’d be back in two seconds. It’s been awhile Josh.” Lena worries.

              “Fuck! She went by herself?” I yell. I don’t mean to yell at Lena. It’s not her fault. It should be a simple task for Bree to run to her house and come back. I shout for Eric and he is right behind me as we dart out the back gate and cross the street to Bree’s house.

              I’m in the middle of the street when I hear the first gunshot coming from Bree’s house. No. No. No. This isn’t happening. This isn’t fucking happening. I hear Eric from behind me screaming for me to keep going.

              Bree’s front door is wide open. I dash through the screen door and that’s when I see her lying on the floor unconscious. I immediately run to her. That’s when I see the blood and Sofie. Sofie is standing over someone with a gun.

              Eric runs behind her and wraps his arms around her to take the gun. She immediately starts to sob and gives the gun to him. The person she is standing over is not moving. Fuck. There is so much blood. I can fucking smell it.

              I try not to center on the shot victim and Sofie. My hands are working to get Bree breathing again. “Baby…breathe. Baby…breathe.” I check every part of Bree and she is conscious. Thank fucking God. I yell to Eric to call 911. He takes his cell phone out and begins to give the operator the information. I cradle Bree in my arms while I sit on the floor, just rocking back and forth. She wakes slightly and with a scratchy voice she asks, “Sofie?”

              I smile masking my inner horror, “She’s okay.”

              Her eyes are wide with terror and she starts to cry, “Nick?”

              I look over at the body lying on the floor. It doesn’t look good. So, I think of the only truthful thing I can say to her, “Don’t know.” She curls in to my lap and sobs. I examine Bree closer. There’s a light hue of blue handprints forming around her neck. She is starting wriggle in my arms like she is in pain. I’ll tell you what, if Sofie hasn’t finished the son of a bitch off, I’m going to do it. “Are you hurt anywhere besides your neck, baby?”

              She writhes in pain and clutches her abdomen. “I’m cramping.”

              I hear the sirens of the ambulance and police. I know they are close. “They are on the way, baby. Hold on. Just hold on.”

              I hate the ER of hospitals. Ever since that night that my sister died, I’ve dreaded visiting anyone who lands in this place. People and nurses pass the waiting room of the ER looking at you with pity. It’s a lottery of who in the waiting room is going to get the worst news. No one talks. You can cut the tension in the air.

              Lena and Eric are with me waiting. The ER staff wouldn’t let me go back with Bree while they were working on her. She was cramping pretty bad from Nick hitting her in the stomach. The doctors want to do a complete exam on her plus do some x-rays to make sure nothing is damaged.

              Lena is the first to break the silence. “Josh, I am so sorry for letting her go alone.”

              To be honest, she probably couldn’t have done anything to help Bree. I can’t blame her. The poor girl has been exhausting herself with blame. Nick would have gotten to Bree no matter what. “Not your fault. She’s gonna be okay.” Eric puts his arms around Lena to comfort her.

              “What did the cops do about Sofie?” Lena wonders.

              “They brought her here in a separate ambulance. I think she’s in shock. She also had some wicked bruises on her face and neck,” I tell her.

              Lena lets out a lengthy sigh. “Nick?”

              I hate the son of a bitch. I really do. Actually, I hate all men like him too. To terrorize someone so badly they are left with no options is just…well…inconceivable. “Sofie shot him in some pretty vital places, Len. Doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Can’t say I care, though.”

              “Josh,” she whispers. It sounds like she is almost chastising me for thinking such a thing.

But, I mean it. The dude doesn’t deserve to live. He was going to kill my girlfriend. If it weren’t for Sofie, he would have succeeded. So, no, I don’t give a fuck if he dies. But, if he lives…so help me God. “He tried to kill her.” It’s all I can get out because the lump in my throat is blocking all other words from coming out.

              Lena nods and leans in to Eric.

              It’s been over 5 hours and we haven’t heard anything. Just as I’m about to bother the intake nurse for the umpteenth time a nurse calls out my name. I rush to and she explains that she is taking me back to Bree’s ER room.

              I enter Bree’s room and she is resting peacefully. They changed her in to a gown and she has an IV running in through her arm and it looks like they are giving her oxygen through her nose. The nurse places a chair next to Bree’s bedside so I can sit with her. Seeing her in this position is fucking with my head. I don’t know if I’m brushed with the notion that I could have lost her tonight or seeing her in pain that is toying with me. But, the tears well up in the back of my eyes. I don’t let them fall.

              The nurse gently puts her hand on my shoulder. Shit. I completely forgot that she was in here. “The doctor will be in to speak with you both.”

              I thank her and lay my head on Bree’s thigh. Bree runs her fingers through my hair. I lift my head up and rest my chin on her thigh so I can look at her. I’m sure she can see the tears peeking from the back of my eyes. “Hey.” I croak out.

              “Hey,” she smiles.

              “Way to break up a show,” I joke. She lets out a raspy laugh. “How are you feeling, baby?”

              Still smiling, “Like a truck hit me. The doctor is coming in to give me the results of all of the tests they did. I need you here. I hope you don’t mind.”

              I can’t believe she even thinks that I would mind. I’d do anything for her. Anything. “I’m in this for the long haul, baby. Don’t ever think otherwise. Kay?” She nods her head and looks like she is falling back asleep from the pain medication. As we wait for the doctor, I doze off too.

              The doctor silently enters the room and quietly clears her throat. Both Bree and I open our eyes. “I’m Dr. MacIntosh. You must be Josh,” she extends her hand and I shake it. “Bree has been adamant about you being with her since she came in the hospital. I’m sorry it has taken this long to get you back here. We needed to run some tests.”

              The doctor has a kind face but it has that haunting look of pity. She begins to explain that Bree wouldn’t suffer any damage from the trauma to her neck. She did suffer a sprain on her left leg from when the bastard grabbed her.

“Okay, now I want to address the cramping in your abdomen.” This is when the doctor’s face falls. I know it is my job to brace myself for the news. “It appears you were in the very early stages of pregnancy. By early, I mean weeks. You wouldn’t have even noticed that you missed your period, yet. However, from the blunt force trauma to your abdominal area, your body is naturally miscarrying. I’m sorry. However, no damage has been done to your uterus so, future pregnancies will not be an issue. Right now, you are experiencing menstrual like symptoms. We tested your HCG in your blood and they are very low. You will continue to bleed heavily for one to two weeks. Do you have any questions?” We both stare at her. She nods, and, with that grenade dropped, she leaves the room so it can explode.

              I’m squeezing Bree’s hand so tightly that it is turning white. I look down because something wet has hit our hands. I realize it’s me. I let go of the tears I was desperately trying to hide from Bree earlier. Lifting my head, I watch Bree twist her head to the side and sob. I want to fucking hit something. I want to do anything that will release this anguish I have. But, I can’t. So, I continue to squeeze Bree’s hand as I listen to her cry.

              I don’t know what to process first, the fact that she was pregnant or the fact that we lost what could have been. I mean she is only 22 years old and we are not married. Not that it matters. Plenty of people have kids when they are not married and our age. On the other hand, having a kid with Bree would be a dream come true...eventually. But, for some reason, I can only focus on the fact that the bastard, Nick, took our kid from us.

              I’m lost in the thought of Nick taking away our kid when she decides to talk. “I didn’t know I was pregnant. I’m so sorry.”

              I peek at her from under my tears. I don’t want her to see me like this. “Are you apologizing for being pregnant? Bree, that’s on both of us. I never asked if you were on the pill and you never asked me to put a condom on.” I know where babies come from. I’m not stupid. For some reason, it just didn’t seem important with Bree in the heat of the moment.

              More tears fall and she lets out a sigh. “I don’t want you to think I was trying…to get pregnant.”

              I snort at her comment. She’s kidding right? “I don’t. So, stop apologizing.”

              “It’s just…if I was more careful, maybe I wouldn’t be in this position right now. I wouldn’t feel like something was taken from me. He couldn’t take something like this away from me…a part of you…a part of me…and…and punch it away.”

              Fuck. I don’t know what to say to that. The truth is, yes, we were not ready for a baby. But, shit, Bree is right. He took something of ours, something we made together. “Don’t blame yourself for what he did, baby.”

              “Josh? If the doctor told me that we were having a baby instead of losing a baby, how would you feel?” Bree poses the ‘what if’ question.

              I think about it for a second, a small second. Truthfully, I would have been happy. Scared shitless? Yes. “Scared. But, happy.”

              A small smile shows on her face. “Me too.”

              “It’s going to be fucking tough for both of us, Bree. This is far from over. We’re going to have good days and bad days. Just know, we’re going to have a family together one-day. I see my future and it is with you. I love you.” I bend over her and first kiss her forehead and then her lips.

              “I love you, Josh”

~CHAPTER TWELVE~

BREE

                            Before I’m officially released from the hospital I head to Sofie’s room. She is hospitalized for depression and some internal injuries she sustained from the fight with Nick. I’m glad she is okay.

              I’m pretty sure she knows that Nick is dead. He died shortly after reaching the hospital. Although Sofie fatally shot him, she is not being charged. The investigation shows a history of abuse and an attempted murder on my behalf.

              She’s looking out the window while she lies in bed. Sadness and a bit of bitterness show on her face. I trip slightly over a chair and her attention is on me. “You certainly were never graceful, Bree.” The comment is dry and unwelcoming.