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              “I’d bet you’d like that. Need more time with my girl?” Josh slurs.

              At this point, I know he is wasted. If he were sober, he never would say this shit. Ever.  “Babe, you okay?” I ask. I try to touch him but he brushes my hand from his arm.

              I get the ‘shut the fuck up’ look from Eric. Now, I’m alarmed. Eric doesn’t want me to see drunk Josh. “Man, you’re talking crazy. Let’s go home. You can sleep it off. You can talk to Bree in the morning. I’ll have Lena come stay with her.”

              Josh pushes Eric, not hard, but more to get him out of his way. “Fuck you, man. I’m not going anywhere. Why? So you can try to get in my girl’s pants? No fucking way. I’m not sharing this one.”

              Hmm. That’s exactly what a girlfriend wants to hear. I know Eric wants me to zip it, but I can’t let that comment go. “He’s not trying to get in my pants. And, the fact that you think I would let him is even more insulting,” I shout. “And…another fucking fact…I don’t want to hear that you shared chicks with each other.”

              Eric whispers in my ear, “He’s a mean drunk. Please be quiet.”

              I’ve seen mean. Mean is someone who hurts you, intentionally, drunk or not. Josh is just stupid. I’m sure he is having trouble dealing with everything that is going on. Getting stupid drunk isn’t helping the situation.

              Josh begins to laugh. “You have a lot of nerve. I walk in to find you spooning with my boy and you don’t want to hear about us fucking the same chicks in the same night before I even met you?”

              I laugh sarcastically, “You are accusing me of cheating on you with Eric? Are you fucking insane? No scratch that, you are being stupid. Josh, go home with Eric. I don’t want to see you right now.” In my mind, I know he’s drunk. I’m trying to do my best to ignore all of the shit he is saying. I won’t lie. It hurts. I am not sure what hurts more, that he is accusing me of cheating or that he is giving me details of his sex life before me.

              “I fucking love you and you rip my fucking heart out by messing around with him!” Josh screams in my face. I can smell the hard liquor on him.

              Eric steps between Josh and me “I told you, let’s go the fuck home. You can fucking take it out on me. Let’s go.” Eric pushes Josh towards the front door.

              Josh pushes him back and takes a swing. His fist hits Eric’s chest. Eric is stunned for a minute. Eric lunges at Josh and wraps him arms around his body to prevent him from swinging anymore.

              I stand back and watch in horror as they stumble out my front door. As I follow them out, I see Lena’s headlights pull up my driveway. Fucking great. She jumps out of her car, her eyes wide with shock. “What is going on?”

              I try pulling Eric from Josh. That doesn’t work. So, I get between them. I’m scared. But, it isn’t the first time I took the chance of getting hit. I’m facing Josh. I look at him with pleading eyes. I can tell he wants to get to Eric but he won’t take the chance of hurting me. “Please. Stop. If you love me, you’ll stop.”

              Josh stares at me, which seems like forever. He spits right next to Eric and walks toward his house. “Fuck you, Eric.”

              Once Josh is finally in his house, Eric lets out a sigh of relief. I take a minute to gather my thoughts. “Eric, you alright?”

              “Yeah. He’s fucked up tonight, Bree. I know everything seems bad right now. Please, just give him tonight. Please,” Eric pleads.

              “I’m not promising anything, Eric. He accused me of cheating on him.” I am in utter disbelief. I am totally in love with this guy and he accuses me of cheating.              

              Eric huffs in disappointment. “Bree, he just had too many to drink tonight. I know the guys he was working with tonight. They play hard for Josh and when they are off the clock, they drink hard. He’s been on edge lately and he probably took it too far.”

              “He accused you of cheating? With who?” Lena asks. Her face is still stunned by all of the commotion she just witnessed. She looks back and forth from me to Eric. Then, she makes a ‘aahh’ sound.

              “It’s not what you think, Lena,” Eric implores.

              If I wasn’t convinced Eric has feelings for Lena before, I definitely do now. It was the sound of his voice. “I will explain everything in a minute. Eric, what are you going to do? You can’t go home. He’s out of control,” I say.

              “Yeah, Eric. I wouldn’t go. That guy did not look like Josh.” Lena is worried about Eric. I can see it.

              “He needs me. I’ve been through worse than this with him. I can get him through tonight. I need to know you’ll be here for him in the morning.” Eric is putting me in the worse position.

              I’m mad. Hell, I’m more than mad. I could give a hoot if Josh went out to get drunk. But, if he is the type to get hammered where he tips the asshole meter, then there is a real problem there. “When he’s sober, I will talk to him. Can’t promise much more.”

              Eric gives me hug and gives Lena a peck on her lips. It’s the first time I have seen them display any affection towards each other. It gives me hope. No sooner does he say goodbye, he disappears to his house across the street.

              Lena and I sit on my front step just staring in silence at the house across the street. She puts her arm around me and lays her head on my shoulder. “Shitty day, huh?”

              “The shittiest. I’m glad you’re here.” I admit to her.

              “Me too. Let’s go inside. We’ll eat bad things and you can tell me what happened.”

              Unexpectedly, I don’t feel as bad as I should. Who knows what tomorrow brings. All I know is…I have a friend to help me out tonight.

~CHAPTER TEN~

JOSH

              I wake up on the cold bathroom floor. I’ve must have slept here last night. My head is pounding and my stomach feels like someone reached in my body, took it out, and then tried to put it back in.

              There’s a bottle of Coca-Cola sitting next to the toilet and a bottle of aspirin. It’s my go to hangover cure. Both bottles are open, so I assume I had taken some aspirin before I passed out. I’m not sure, so I take two more and chug the soda down.

              I sit there for a good forty minutes before I can stand up. I try to remember how I got here but can’t. I head to the mirror because my face feels like someone smashed a brick in to it. Sure as shit, my face is fucked up. It’s not as bad as it feels but still pretty bruised.

              My last memory is of me hanging out with a few guys of the band Aimless. One of the band member’s uncles gave him a stash of homemade moonshine. I was just going to taste it. I was planning on heading home to Bree but they kept passing more and more to me.

              I’m not going to lie. It’s been stressful dealing with the hang-ups. I know that it is Bree’s ex motherfucker. When the police told her that they would note the file, I flipped. She had her number changed but I know that if the motherfucker wants to get to her, he will. The situation is bringing up some old feelings from when my sister was going through the same shit. I don’t want to feel what I felt back then. So, I got drunk. What I did after that remains a mystery. By the look of my face, I know whatever I did, was not good. On top of that, I have this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach and it is not from me throwing up all night long.

              I open the bathroom door and head down the hallway to the living room. Furniture is tossed around. There is shit just everywhere. It looks like there was a huge brawl in the middle of the living room. I’m starting to get a little worried. Eric would never let the house get this bad if he was in control. Then, I have flashback. It’s of me throwing a chair at Eric. Fuck.

              I run towards his room and throw open the door. He’s passed out on his bed, but, fuck, he looks just as bad as I do. I walk towards him and nudge him. He flinches a little, but wakes up. “Dude, what the fuck happened?”

              Eric grumbles and tries to sit up. It looks like the chair won last night. “You fucked up, man. Pretty bad.”

              Oh no. What did I do? Before Bree, nights like last night ended up with a wild fuck-a-thon with a random chick. I hope to god I didn’t do something that stupid. “Who’s with Bree? You were supposed to be with her last night.”

              “I was until your drunk ass showed up and accused her of cheating on you.”

              Fuck. What the hell? “Why the hell would I do that?”

              “You saw us hugging. You were drunk. You fucked up.”

              “And then?” I ask not really wanting to know.

              “You told her how we used to share bitches. She handled that better than I thought. You and I fought a little in front of her. I spared her from watching us totally fuck each other up. You can thank me later, asshole.”

              I fucking panic. I very well may have lost Bree. My Bree. I may have lost her because I can’t deal with my fucking emotions. “Eric, please tell me she was okay with everything. I mean…you did talk to her after I passed out. Right?”

              “Sorry. I was too busy getting my ass kicked by my best friend. You passed out after you fucking annihilated me with a fucking chair. I think you bruised my fucking rib. I was too beat to go back over there. Plus, you didn’t settle the fuck down until about four in the morning.” Eric winces in pain.

              I feel horrible. No worse than horrible. Fighting with Eric while drunk is nothing new. Both of us took our fair share of ass kicking while the other was drunk. I’ve changed. I’m different now that I am with Bree. I don’t do this shit anymore. “’E’, I’m sorry, man. I’m so fucking sorry.”

              Eric glares at me. He pissed. I don’t blame him. I would be too. I’m half tempted to ask him to kick the shit out of me. I won’t fight back this time. “Save it, man. Save your sorry ass apologies for Bree. We are brothers. We will always be brothers. Whatever is fucking you up in the head…deal with it.  To tell you the truth, when you met Bree, I thought we were passed this shit. I was relieved. Fucking relieved, man. She doesn’t deserve this. She deserves more.”

              Bree deserves more. I know. I knew she was out of my league before I even looked her in the eyes. I was a slob before she came in to my life. Last night, I let her know how I treated girls. I let her see the mess I was before she came in to my life. She saw how I treat people I love when I’m fucked up. I hang my head down. “I know. I’m not good for her.”

              “I never said you were not good for her. I said she deserves more. I don’t want her to see what you were like before she came in to your life. She brought me back to the time when I knew who you were. You’re good for each other.” Eric is finally able to sit up.

              “I doubt she will forgive me. I don’t even know if you and I are good.” I almost choke up.

              Eric laughs under his breath a little. “Man, we’re good. Get yourself cleaned up and go talk to your girl. Send Lena over here. She can help me clean up while you talk to Bree.”

              Typically, men don’t hug each other. Eric and I are not typical men. I walk behind him and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back, “Go on. You’ve got a lot of apologizing to do.”

              It is the longest walk I have ever taken even though Bree lives across the street. I knock on her door. Lena answers the door. She looks at me wearily but lets me in anyway. I thank her for letting me in. I tell her that Eric wants her to go to our house. I can tell she contemplating not going. I assure her Bree is safe with me and that Eric wants to spend time with her.

              “Make this better, Josh.” Lena wasn’t asking me. She was telling me.

              I nod and make my way back to Bree’s bedroom. She is curled up on her bed, peacefully sleeping. I think to myself how beautiful and pure she is. I tainted that last night with my accusations and admissions.

              I sit on the end of the bed. She stirs slightly as I indent the edge of her mattress. Her long tresses cover her face and run down her back as she lies on her stomach. She’s wearing a ratty Dave Matthews Band concert shirt and her favorite pair of boy shorts. I run my hand across her back. She immediately responds to my touch by smiling in her sleep.  I rub her a bit harder and she opens her eyes.

              Initially, she looks happy. Then, the storm invades her extraordinary, fawn eyes. She rolls herself away from me. I withdraw my hand as if it had been burned. My face falls and I bring my limbs closer to my body. I don’t know what to say, but I know I need to say something. “Don’t be afraid of me.”

              “I’m not.”

              I reach to touch her but she scurries away from me. “If you’re not afraid, then why won’t you let me touch you?” I wonder.

              “I’m disgusted by you,” she admits.

              A hole is punched in my chest and my heart is ripped out. Regardless, I still need to apologize for my behavior and I intend to do so. “I came to say I’m sorry. It doesn’t excuse my behavior but it is the least I can do for what I have done.“ Her head bobs up and down as she processes my apology. I’m sure I should say something else but the words are stuck in my throat.

              “Wow. Nice apology.” Her sarcastic tone tells me I am going to have to work harder.

              “What do you want me to say, Bree? It’s probably the most regrettable situation I have put myself in. I didn’t set out last night to get wasted. I am sorry. So fucking sorry.” I put my head in to my arms to hide any emotion that might creep up. Bree is entitled to a better apology but it’s all I got right now.

              “An apology starts out with I’m sorry. Then, you give the internal reason for what you did. You specifically recognize what you have done. Finally, you take full responsibility for what you did.” She is lecturing me at this point. Any other day, I would have thought it was cute as hell. Today, I’m fucking annoyed. I feel like ass.