“I … I … I don’t know what to do,” I confessed, looking at her with confusion.
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know,” I said, sitting down on the sofa with my head in my hands.
“I know what we should do,” Stella added, coming in the door.
“And that is?”
“Road trip!” Stella said, tackling me on the sofa.
“Stella!”
“Yes?” she asked from under some pillows that had fallen on the floor when we both fell off the sofa.
“You act like you’re five. I can’t believe you’re a lawyer,” I said as I lay on the floor.
“I take that as a compliment.”
“Both of you get up,” Lanie instructed.
“So serious.” Stella pouted at Lanie, causing Lanie to wrinkle up her face.
“No. Incoming,” she said as I heard the front door open.
“Anyone home?” Harry called and entered the room.
“We all are,” Stella said, pulling herself up and arranging herself on the sofa next to Lanie.
“Harry, I didn’t expect you,” I said, also getting up off the floor and picking up the pillows.
“Well, it’s the only way I get to see you, since you ignore my calls.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Can we talk privately?”
“Sure,” I said, pointing toward the back deck. As he walked to the back deck, I turned and looked at Stella and Lanie for help. They both looked back, shrugging their shoulders.
“Harry, I don’t know what else we have to say.” How many different ways could I tell Harry that I needed my space?
“I heard you met with the lawyer today,” he said, completely surprising me.
“How did you know?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“There isn’t much that goes on that I don’t know about. Plus, he called me a week or so ago to follow up about the car you gave me. Made it sound like there was a lot Jay left you to take care of … investments and such,” he said.
“I don’t really feel comfortable discussing it all,” I replied, instantly feeling defensive.
“Come on, Jill. It’s me. Jay was my best friend.”
“True, but his investments and whatever he left behind are not.” I could feel my anger building.
“Is this how it’s going to be between us?” he asked, stepping toward me.
“How what is going to be? And there is no us,” I said moving to the other side of the deck.
“I’m just trying to be a friend.”
“You have a really odd way of showing it. I keep telling you that I just need some space. Lanie and Stella have kept me under watch since everything happened. I haven’t had time to myself to process everything.” It was part truth and part lie, but Harry didn’t need to know that.
“Jill, come on. We can go for coffee or something. Just you and I hanging out like we used to,” Harry pleaded.
“Harry, it’s not a good time right now. Stella and Lanie are here for the week and then they are gone. So maybe after that.”
“Okay. I’m going to hold you to that.”
“Sure,” I said while I thought, “I bet you will.”
I rejoined Stella and Lanie in the living room. They were both giving me a skeptical glance when Harry left.
“He wants to go to coffee,” I said after not being able to take the judgmental looks.
“He wants in your pants, you mean,” Stella said.
“Is that all?” Lanie asked, ignoring Stella.
“He asked about the meeting with the lawyer.”
“He what? How did he know about that,” Stella said, pointing a finger at me.
“Don’t look at me. I didn’t tell him,” I shouted back.
“Neither did I,” Lanie added before Stella could accuse her.
“He’s bad news …” Stella said.
“I agree,” I said.
“So …” Stella started to say.
“So?” I asked.
“Before we were rudely interrupted by your husband’s crazy best friend, we were talking about a road trip.”
“We were?” I asked.
“Don’t mess with me,” Stella said, pointing a finger in my direction, again.
“Do you think it’s a good idea?” I asked Lanie, ignoring Stella this time.
“It’s whatever you think,” Lanie replied.
“Lanie, you’re not helping. The correct answer is that it is the best idea ever,” Stella interjected.
“Can I think about it?” I asked Lanie, still ignoring Stella.
“Take all the time you need,” Lanie said, getting up from the sofa and making her way into the kitchen.
“Anyone hungry for lunch?” she called back.
“I am,” I replied, looking at Stella, who was now pouting back at me.
“Why do you care so much?” I asked her.
“I don’t really, but I want to go to the beach.” She smiled, got up and heading into the kitchen after Lanie.
“Figures,” I muttered to myself as I followed.
CHAPTER 20
F
or the first time in months, I felt as if I were making the right decision and I didn’t feel sad. After hounding Lanie and me for two days, Stella had finally convinced us that we should take a road trip to see this mystery house that Jay had bought for me. Stella called Paul Wellon again to confirm the details of the property and we headed out mid-morning on Thursday. Paul had asked to speak with me and warned me that the house was not finished and that Jay had wanted it completed before I saw it. But Jay was dead, so his point seemed moot. Paul confirmed that renovations had stopped in November, shortly after Jay’s death, as the future of the property hung in limbo.
Stella and Lanie planned a grand road trip adventure for us, which was impressive considering the three-hour drive to Oak Island. Both were optimistic that this was just what I needed: a chance to get away and start over. Stella and Lanie now bickered in the front seat about the best way to get to Oak Island from Greensboro. I sat in the back of Lanie’s Volvo convertible, soaking in the sun and letting my mind drift through memories that Jay and I had created on Oak Island.
I knew exactly where the house would be when Paul Wellon told me about it. It was supposed to be a surprise for our anniversary, he had said. Our three-year anniversary was still a couple of weeks away in June, but it didn’t shock me that Jay had already been thinking about it the previous summer. He was always thinking ahead, planning our future, carefully crafting every occasion, never leaving anything to chance.
We had spent every free moment since we had met traveling to the small beach town. Sometimes we would pack several cars with friends and stay in one of the many rental houses that lined the beach. Oftentimes it was just the two of us escaping on our own and often we would sleep in our cars overnight. We had always talked about getting a beach house, but I thought it was more in an abstract context. Things like “Someday, when we have our beach house, I want the bedroom to overlook the ocean” or sometimes in the stores I would spot a cute sign or piece of furniture and I would say “Wouldn’t this look good in our beach house?” Jay would always smile and nod. I frowned slightly, thinking about how that dream would now always remain just a dream.
“Stop it,” Stella said, breaking my thoughts.
“Stop what?”
“You’re thinking again. You need to stop thinking and just enjoy this trip.”
“I can’t help but think of Jay. I mean we are going to the secret beach house he bought me for our anniversary, a house we planned to escape to forever.” My voice hitched over the last part. It was too painful. “Maybe we should go back,” I thought.
“Jill, you’re going to be fine.” Lanie reached back and grabbed my hand. “You’re so strong, and we are here with you.”
“You are both way too serious for this kind of trip. Both of you need to loosen up!” and with that, Stella turned the radio up, drowning out our conversation.
Eventually, we crossed the bridge, heading into Oak Island. I couldn’t help my excitement. It was slowly building as we neared our destination. No matter what was going on in my life, this place made me feel at home. Jay knew me better than anyone else. This place was so peaceful and it made me happy.
“I think that’s it up ahead,” Stella said, pointing at a white, one-story bungalow at the end of a long row of brightly painted houses.
“The directions say it’s 2828 East Bay Drive. What number does that house say?” Lanie asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t see any numbers,” Stella commented.
“No. That’s the house.”
“How do you know?” Stella and Lanie asked together.
“Jay and I would always walk by it on the beach and talk about someday owning it,” I whispered.
A white bungalow house on stilts with a large front staircase surrounded by scaffolding sat in front of us as we pulled into the short gravel driveway. Scattered around the house were various construction materials and supplies. No one made a move to get out of the car. I couldn’t speak and tears started to roll down my cheek.
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” Lanie whispered to Stella in the front seat.
“No, it’s perfect,” I stammered.
“Here are the keys. Why don’t you go ahead in and we will unpack the car.” Stella pressed the key into my hand as she and Lanie scrambled out of the car. I slowly made my way out of the backseat and up the stairs to the front door. The simple brass key fit in the door and I was able to push it open with ease. As I entered the house, I let out a small gasp. Straight in front of me was the most breathtaking view I had ever seen. My legs carried me without any need for direction. I crossed the open space so that I was standing directly in front of what appeared to be newly installed French doors. I reached for the handle and threw open the heavy doors, which opened onto a large wooden deck. I slowly stepped out onto the deck. There in front me of was nothing but the sand dunes and ocean. I was mesmerized by the waves as they crashed down on the beach in front of me. Behind me I heard a soft whistle and I could tell Stella and Lanie were making their way through the house.
“Jill, this is amazing,” Lanie kept repeating.
“Really looks deserted. Paul wasn’t kidding when he said they stopped right in the middle of construction,” Stella commented.
I turned around to face my friends and noticed the interior of the house for the first time. Furniture sat covered in sheets. Stacks of boxes sat piled up. Paint swatches covered the wooden paneled walls. Brown paper stretched out along the floors, covering up new hardwood floors, and building materials lay scattered throughout the main floor.
“Why don’t we explore the house and see if there is anywhere for us to sleep tonight? Otherwise, we can still check into that motel we passed a couple blocks back,” Stella suggested.
From the outside, I had assumed the house was a one-story home, but now I could see a small staircase that wound its way up to a second floor. Upstairs we found two bedrooms that shared a bathroom and faced out onto the street and a large expansive master bedroom that overlooked the same breathtaking view from the deck. Attached to the master bedroom was a private bathroom and walk-in closet. The bedrooms were in much the same condition as the rest of the house. Furniture, mattresses and boxes lay scattered throughout most of the spaces.
“At least there are beds,” Lanie commented, sounding relieved. Her idea of roughing it was setting up a tent at the local Marriott and ordering in-room service. On Stella’s suggestion we opened up several boxes and found brand-new bath towels, linens, pillows and blankets for each room. After setting up several rooms, we ventured into town to grab some supplies from the local grocery store as well as pick up dinner from one of my favorite seafood places on the water. Once we got back home, we set up a picnic style dinner on the deck with our crab cakes, seafood bisque and champagne watching the sunset.
“To us,” Stella said, holding up her plastic cup filled with champagne.
“To Jay,” Lanie said.
“To hope,” I added as we clinked our cups together.
The next morning, I woke up to the sun shining and the sound of soft waves crashing down on the beach. Stretching and getting up, I looked around and had to pinch myself to make sure it was real. I had the most spectacular view of the ocean and it had the most peaceful effect on me. I put my hand out of the window as if I could almost touch the ocean from where I stood.
“Thank you, Jay,” I whispered. It felt as if for the first time in months I could see through the gray that had surrounded my life. Even in death Jay knew what I would need to get me through my ordeal. I let out a long sigh and smiled as I headed downstairs. The house was still asleep as I opened several more boxes in the kitchen and found a kettle and several other kitchen items I would need to make breakfast. It was past eight when I heard someone shuffle downstairs.
“Smells fantastic,” Lanie said, coming around the corner.
“Hungry?” I asked as I finished arranging the last of the French toast and eggs on plates.
“Absolutely,” she said, looking for some utensils.
“Coffee?” Stella asked, coming up from behind Lanie.
“Water in the kettle is hot and the instant stuff we bought last night is in the cupboard to the right of the sink,” I said, pointing to it for Stella.
“You’re up early,” Stella commented after she had fixed herself a cup of coffee and sat down on a stool at the island.
“How could anyone sleep with this amazing view,” I said, waving my hand toward the ocean.
“Fair point,” Stella said, stabbing her French toast with a fork.
“Jill, I forgot how wonderful a cook you are,” Lanie exclaimed, taking two more pieces from the stack in the middle of the island.
“I forgot too,” I added, finishing off my plate.
“What are we doing today?” Stella asked between mouthfuls.
“It’s a beautiful day. Why don’t we just enjoy the beach? The rest will still be here,” I suggested.
“Sounds fantastic,” Lanie said. After breakfast, I cleaned up as Lanie and Stella went back upstairs to change and get ready. I had already dressed in my suit this morning in anticipation of spending the day out in the sand. We sat out on the beach reading, swimming, sleeping and talking until dinnertime. Lanie was the only one of us worried about burning and kept reapplying sunscreen every 45 minutes. For dinner we decided to again try some of the local fare and Stella and Lanie went out to pick up the food while I showered and looked for some additional plates and cups.