Sacrifice (19 page)

I climbed under my covers and shifted into my dream garden with as little effort as flipping a light switch. It was early enough in the morning that Lucas might still be sleeping. I knelt and placed my hand on the earth of my garden. As always, connecting with the larger dream filled me with a sharp awareness of the billions of minds adrift in the darkness—most unaware of the universal dream we all shared. As a pool grew before me, full of the shimmering glimmers of those dreams, I let my thoughts drift back over the night’s shift, and what I’d learned from Hale.

My thoughts inadvertently drew Hale’s dream to the surface of the pool. As the glimmering spark of Hale’s mind—sleeping already?—rose to greet me, I lifted a hand meaning to wave it away so I could locate Lucas’s dream instead. But then I noticed a strange bluish-tint to Hale’s dream.

And I knew.

Heart pounding in my chest, I closed my hand around Hale’s dream. I felt the focused determination of Hale’s presence as his dream unfolded before me.

Hale sat on the porch of a small house I’d never seen before. It showed some signs of disrepair, but it was nestled in a lush garden and surrounded by copses of trees.

Hale sat on an old wicker chair, near the edge of his seat, waiting for something—or someone.

I sensed movement and ducked deeper into the copse of trees I’d found myself hiding in.

Karayan appeared at the side of the little house. She took a moment to straighten her dress—a simple, floral print dress Karayan would
never
wear in the waking world. She looked like she was playing dress up, but instead of accentuating her assets, the dress suggested an innocence that clashed terribly with Karayan’s natural sensuality. Karayan herself seemed unfazed by the dissonance. Satisfied, she walked forward. When she rounded the edge of the house, Hale turned to face her. As soon as his eyes found her, Karayan’s appearance
changed.

In place of the statuesque, honey-blond bombshell, a petite woman with long, pale hair and dark eyes took a few hesitant steps forward. Suddenly the floral print dress made sense.

“Sarah?” Hale stood, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. A thrill of horror shot through my core.
No—she wouldn’t—?

Karayan, disguised as this pretty, petite woman, ran forward. Hale opened his arms, and when she reached him he enfolded her, sweeping her off her feet and swinging her around in a joyful circle. She laughed, her voice thinner and lighter than Karayan’s natural tone.

“Sarah, oh God, how I’ve missed you.” Hale clung to her.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she murmured into his ear.

Hale pulled back and looked into her eyes. She reached up and touched his face, smiling as a tear slid down his cheek.

“None of that.” She brushed the tear away gently. “We have this time together. Let’s not waste it on grief.”

Hale studied her, a smile breaking over his face with such love it sent another jolt of pain stabbing through my heart. He enfolded her in another embrace, this time tipping her face up toward his lips. He kissed her, a slow, passionate kiss that made me blush. I pulled back further into the trees, letting the leaves obscure the couple from view for a moment.

But then I heard a rustling as two bodies lowered themselves to the soft grass at their feet and I had to look—

Hale pulled Karayan down into the grass with him. She nestled in his arms, safe in her disguise… but as she lay her head against his chest, a meadow of bluebells sprang up around them. I stared. Bluebells. Where my garden had always been full of roses, Karayan’s was awash in bluebells. I’d seen them each time I’d visited her in her dream. They were an unconscious manifestation of her sense of self. Now, happy and unguarded, she might not even realize she’d brought them into Hale’s dream.

Hale took a deep breath, savoring the scent of his Sarah, not realizing who he really held in his arms. How could he know Karayan had slipped into his dream, armed with the knowledge of how to be with him without his understanding or consent? Why else would she disguise herself as his dead wife?

Hale’s hand roamed down her body—and I turned abruptly away. I knew I needed to stop this, to interrupt their tryst. But as the sounds behind me grew more amorous, another instinct kicked in and I snapped out of Hale’s dream, back into my own garden.

I reeled, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. What now? Was this my responsibility to report? Should I confront Karayan in private? Warn her that I knew what she was doing? Should I tell Hale? For many long moments, I spun with confusion.

And then, exhausted and overwhelmed, I made my decision. That night, I slept in dreamless peace. I’d figure out what to do later.

I slept straight through until Sunday morning. When I finally woke up, the sun was already high in the east. As soon as consciousness returned, it brought with it the panic and indecision of the previous day. This wasn’t a problem I wanted to have. But it had landed in my lap, and now I had to decide what to do.

I got up and pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt. As March had drawn to a close, the days had grown alternately wetter and warmer. Now, with April having officially arrived, we were getting more of the pleasant days—today was expected to reach 76 degrees, and I was beyond ready for the warmth.

As I headed downstairs, I smelled something cooking in the kitchen. Maybe Dad was up. The thought cheered me. I could use a good breakfast. It had been close to 36 hours since my last real meal.

But when I walked into the kitchen, Karayan looked up from the island, eating a piece of toast.

“Morning.” She grinned. “I was wondering when you’d decide to wake up.”

I squared my shoulders. It was the perfect moment to confront Karayan. We were alone, she was in a good mood—but my confidence failed. “I—I thought I smelled breakfast.” I glanced around the kitchen. A pile of dirty dishes filled the sink.

“You missed Murphy’s frittata,” Karayan said. “We meant to save you some, but then Hale came over and we got to talking and—” Karayan glanced at the clock. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be training with Hale and Amber this morning?”

I followed her gaze to the clock: 10:17 AM. “Crap!” I turned around and ran back up the stairs, tearing through my dresser for a clean pair of yoga pants and an old T-shirt I wouldn’t mind sweating through.

I rushed across the yards separating our house from the Guard’s house. Once I reached the front step of their porch, I paused to get control of my breathing. After successfully slowing my heartbeat down, I walked into the Guard’s house. The foyer, living room, and dining room—what I could see of them—were full of off-duty Guardsmen, ribbing on one another, checking the news on their phones, or just enjoying a cup of morning coffee. No sign of Hale, which meant he and Amber were probably already downstairs.

I walked to the basement. The door was standing open, and as I stepped through I heard Hale and Amber talking. I meant to announce myself—apologize for being late—but as I set my foot on the top stair, I heard something that made me freeze.

“But how are you sure you can trust her? She’s a demon.” Amber’s voice held a note of genuine concern that I’d never heard from her before.

“She’s proven herself to us on more than one occasion,” Hale said.

“But she’s hurt people.” Amber’s voice took on a harsh tone.

“She’s made mistakes,” Hale acknowledged, “but she’s learned from them. And she’s done a lot to make up for those mistakes.”

“Tell that to Parker.”

“Trust me, Amber. We are not blind to the situation.”

“No? You give her a pretty free rein.” Amber made a disgusted sound. “I mean, what about her and Lucas?”

“You don’t know the whole situation.”

“You do realize, I’ve known Braedyn longer than you have.” Amber’s tone shifted again. I held my breath, straining to hear every word. “Up until last year, she was—nothing. Like, we pitied her. There’s no way that girl would have ever gotten a guy like Lucas.”

My blood started to boil in my veins, but I kept my mouth tightly shut.

“Lucas and Braedyn met before her Lilitu powers started to present—” Hale started.

“Well, sure—they live right next door to each other. But when did he fall for her? Do you know?”

“What’s your point, Amber?” Hale’s voice was clipped, impatient.

“My point is, you think you know her. What if you don’t?” Amber let her voice drop ominously. “She’s a
demon.
Something no one around here can seem to remember.”

“I have faith in her,” Hale said.

“That’s really sweet of you,” Amber said quietly, “but what if your faith is misguided? What if she betrays you?”

“That won’t happen,” Hale said. I could tell he was reaching his wit’s end.

“You’re willing to bet your life—all our lives—on that?”

“Yes,” Hale growled.

“Really?” Amber sounded genuinely shocked.

“I’ll put a dagger through her heart before I let her betray the Guard.”

It was as though someone had unleashed a flood of ice into my veins. My head felt strangely light. I could barely hear the rest of their conversation.

“Well, that’s more like it,” Amber said.

“Let’s get back to work.” Hale’s tone was brusque, almost harsh. “Show me what you remember of that last combo.”

I edged back into the hallway, then turned and ran directly into Lucas. His face was grim. He’d heard everything.

“Braedyn,” he whispered. “He doesn’t mean—it would never come to—”

I shook my head. “Don’t.”

I tried to walk past him, but Lucas caught my arm and pulled me to him. I fought to pull away, but he locked his arms around me, holding me to him. After a moment, I gave in, letting him hold me. His arms were strong and warm.

“We shouldn’t,” I murmured, even though all I wanted was to stay here, with his arms wrapped around me. Lucas pulled back, then led me down the hall, through the foyer, and out onto the front porch, away from the prying eyes of the Guardsmen. When we were safely out of sight, Lucas reached for me again.

I put a hand on his chest, keeping him from pulling me too close. “What if she’s right?” Lucas shook his head, but I wouldn’t be dissuaded that easily. “How do we know you aren’t just under my spell?”

“That’s stupid.” Lucas grinned at me.

“Is it?”

Lucas’s smile faded. “Yes.” He took both of my shoulders in his hands and faced me straight on. “What we have? This is real, Braedyn. It’s what I want. And beyond that?” Lucas’s brows drew together, his handsome face growing fierce with anger. “It’s none of Amber’s business.”

Lucas said all the right things, but I couldn’t banish Amber’s words from my thoughts. I’d managed to pull myself together and showed up for sparring practice about 30 minutes late. I preferred that to the scenario where Amber realized I’d overheard her and Hale and couldn’t bring myself to face them.

It was a grueling sparring session, mostly because I was fighting to keep my emotions in check while defending against Amber’s increasingly skilled attacks.

At the end of our session, I left before Hale had finished praising our efforts. I didn’t want to hear it from him, not today.

I retreated to my bedroom, and spent most of the afternoon staring blankly at textbooks. I can’t say I got any real studying done. Dad swung by when it was time for dinner. I joined him and Karayan downstairs for the meal, but left as soon as I’d finished doing the dishes.

When the time came to get ready for bed, I found I didn’t have the energy to change out of my clothes. I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, playing the overheard conversation back in my mind for the millionth time. Of all the Guardsmen, Hale had seemed the one most open to the possibility that I could be a force for good. To hear him so calmly declare his willingness to end me—?

I shivered and rolled over onto my side.

I heard a rustling outside and dismissed it as wind. But a few moments later, someone tapped lightly on my windowpane. I turned back to the window, needing no light to make out the figure clinging tightly to the trellis outside. Lucas. I rolled out of bed and hurried to the window, unlocking it and sliding the lower pane up.