Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance (6 page)

CHAPTER 4

COLTON

IT'S A WEDNESDAY night, and Penny has been workin' at the bar the past few days.  Buddy has been showin' her the ropes while I've kept my distance.  I can't help but smile when I hear Penny laugh or when she tries to crack a joke to Buddy.  They have a friendship that's so effortless, and I envy it.  They're comfortable with each other, and in a way it makes me oddly jealous.

I know they've been friends for a while because I hear them talkin' about things that happened in the past.  Sometimes Buddy will throw my name in there, but then they both get really quiet and stop talkin' about it as if they're afraid I'll overhear.  I know they don't want me gettin' angry, which I'm sure I probably would.  Buddy knows I don't talk about the past.  And I intend on keepin' it that way.

"Hey, Colt?" Penny calls from the back room.

I peek my head around the corner and see her standin' on her tiptoes, attemptin' to reach a box of straws from the top shelf.  "Yeah?" I ask, even though it's obvious what she needs.

"Can I get some help here?" she asks.

"Sure," I mutter before walkin' over to her.  I stand behind her and reach up, easily grippin' the box that was so far out of her grasp.  She really is short.  I pull the box down as she turns to face me.

Her petite body is pinned between the shelvin' unit and me.  I stare down at her, and there's somethin' that passes between us.  My heart is beatin' fast, like I just drank five cups of coffee.  I watch her slender neck as she swallows hard.  I want to reach out and touch her, but I force myself not to.  I don't know why I always have the urge to touch her, but I do.

Shakin' my head to clear my thoughts, I hand her the box.  "There you go," I say gruffly.

"Thank you," she whispers before pullin' away from me and walkin' out of the room.

I blow out a long sigh after she leaves, grippin' the shelves as if my knees could give out at any moment. 
Why the hell does this keep happenin' to me?
  I'm not one to get all googly eyed and awkward around girls, so for me to be this way with Penny just boggles my mind.  Why her?  Sure, she's gorgeous with a great personality, but I have no interest in bein' with her.  Maybe I'm just so sexually attracted to her that it's makin' me act stupid.  All I know is that I've never wanted to kiss a girl as much as I want to kiss Penny.  And if just thinkin' about kissin' her makes me this crazy, I can't imagine how I'm goin' to keep my hands off of her.

Feelin' confused and extremely irritated, I walk out to the main area.  My eyes immediately land on Penny.  She abandoned the Halloween costume after the first day.  Now she usually wears shorts or short skirts.  The summers are hot in Alabama, so I can't blame her wardrobe, but her choice of clothin' distracts me.  Her long legs drive me insane and clearly every other man that walks in this bar, because she racks up tips like crazy.

"Hey, stud," a sexy, sultry voice calls from the right of me.  I turn to see my on-again, off-again fling, Ruby Sue King.  Ruby Sue has her jet-black hair pulled up in an old-fashioned style with a colorful bandana.  That was the first thing I noticed about her when I met her three years ago.  She came into the bar looking like a '50s pin-up model, which is actually what she does when she's not being a tattoo artist or hairstylist.  Ruby lives in the next town over and, thus, knows nothin' about my life before the accident.  And I like to keep it that way.

For some reason, I don't want Penny to find out about Ruby Sue and me.  I'm nervous and worried about her reaction, and I have no idea why.  I quickly make Ruby's favorite drink, a screwdriver, and glance over at Penny.  She's lookin' the other way, so I set the glass in front of Ruby Sue with every intention of keepin' my distance.  But before I can step back, Ruby Sue grabs my shirt and pulls me in for a quick peck on the lips.  Then her mouth is at my ear when she says, "I need you tonight, Colton."  She pulls back a little and kisses me again, softer and slower this time to make a point.

Ruby Sue and I have an unspoken agreement.  We don't date.  We just fuck when we need it.  We're exclusive, though.  It's a complicated situation even though it shouldn't be, because the more time that passes, the more attached she gets.  I have feelings for her too, but I'm not in love with the girl.  There's always been somethin' holdin' me back, but I never quite figured it out.

I watch as she takes her drink and walks off to mingle with other patrons.  My eyes then immediately move to Penny, and I let out a sigh of relief when I see that Buddy is keepin' her busy.  I don't know why Penny catchin' me kiss Ruby Sue would make me feel guilty and like the world's biggest asshole, but it would.  Even though Penny isn't my girl, there's somethin' between us that I can't explain.  I feel like I need to keep Ruby Sue a secret for now until I figure out exactly what that somethin' is.

*  *  *  *  *

PENNY

COLTON PRETTY MUCH avoids me the entire night, keeping on one end of the bar while Buddy and I stay on the other.  He looks and walks and talks like his old self, but this
new Colton
is a complete stranger.  I'm having a hard time comprehending that
my Colton
is gone.  I just hope he's not lost forever.

I'm mentally and emotionally drained, and I've only been in town less than a week.  I want to ask myself if I can keep this up for much longer, but I already know the answer.  I don't know.  I don't know if I can keep doing this dance with Colton.  It's hurting me more than I'll ever let on.  Even though I can't change the past, I wish more than anything that the past five years didn't exist.  If I had known what would happen while I was gone, I would have never left.

I regret more than anything not keeping in touch with my friends while I was in college.  I had Buddy and Shelby Rae Hall back home along with a handful of other great friends.  But after Colton broke my heart --- or I thought he broke my heart, I severed all ties with Willowbrook, Alabama.  I was stubborn and bullheaded and just wanted to wallow in self-pity.  If I had kept up with my friendships, I would have found out about Colton.  But life is full of
what ifs
.  It's incredibly easy to dwell on mistakes that can't be fixed.

Shelby Rae was my very best friend; but after we graduated high school, we pretty much lost touch.  We had a lot in common, including falling in love with a boy at an early age and dreaming of marrying our high school sweethearts some day.  Her plan had a little bit of a hiccup when she got married and pregnant right after we graduated instead of the four or five-year plan we had always talked about.  I guess that was part of the reason why we didn't keep up with our friendship.  She was busy with a new marriage and a baby on the way.  And I was off in New York studying, working hard and completely and utterly miserable.

I turn to Buddy and ask, "What ever became of Shelby Rae?"

He seems to tense at my question.  "She married Matt Jones just like she always wanted to," he says with a melancholy look on his face.

It dawns on me that Buddy always had the biggest crush on Shelby.  He pined for her bad when we were in high school, but, much like myself, she only had eyes for one boy.  Matthew Jones loved her fiercely and unconditionally just like Colton used to love me.  Shelby and I always talked about getting hitched, moving next door to each other and having babies that could grow up together.  Dreaming about the future when you're a kid is fun.  But once the future becomes the present, those dreams are quickly extinguished by adulthood.

"Did she have the baby?"

Buddy nods with a smile.  "A little girl.  Lillian."  His grin widens as he adds, "Looks just like her mama."

"And where are Shelby Rae and Matt living now?  I'd love to get in touch with her again."

Buddy's smile instantly disappears.  "They moved out of the county when Matt took a firefighter job."  He swallows hard, and I have a feeling some bad news is about to come out of Buddy's mouth.  "Matt died two years ago in a house fire.  He was on the top floor, and it collapsed underneath him.  They couldn't get him out in time."

My hand goes to my mouth as I gasp in shock.  "Oh, no!"  I can't even picture Shelby Rae without Matthew.  They were like two peas in a pod, inseparable and one of those couples that made everyone within a one-mile radius instantly jealous of their close relationship.  "And Shelby Rae?  Where is she now?"

"Last I heard she was in the process of movin' back here to town to be close to her mama since her daddy died a few months back."

So much heartache.  So much tragedy.  My heart instantly hurts for my best friend.  "Well, you let me know the moment you hear she's back in town."

Buddy gives me a sad smile and says, "Sure thing."

*  *  *  *  *

BY EIGHT O'CLOCK, the crowd has cleared out.  "Another slow night," Buddy mutters under his breath.  He looks stressed out, and I try to think of a way to help.  A few ideas have been swirling through my head over the past few days.

"Remember when Sheila would sell cakes and pies during the lunch and supper crowds?" I ask Buddy.

He nods.  "Yeah.  People drove from all over the county for her sweet potato pie."

"Well, what if I make some cakes and pies for you to sell?"

"Really?  You'd do that?" Buddy asks, instantly perking up.

"Sure.  I'd love to help.  And I have all of Colton's mom's old recipes.  You remember how great her apple pie was."

He rubs his stomach and licks his lips, smacking them together.  "Her apple pie was the best I ever tasted."  He thinks my proposition over for a few moments.  "I think it sounds like a great idea, Penny.  When can you start?" he asks eagerly.

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sure."  He frowns for a moment before saying, "The oven in the kitchen is broke.  You can use the burners on the stove, but that's about it."  Buddy scratches his chin, and then gets a big grin on his face as he turns to me.  "But I have the perfect place in mind for you to bake.  You'll have all the space you need, two ovens and plenty of counter space."

I agree to his plan, but I have a sinking feeling I'm going to regret it.

*  *  *  *  *

COLTON

AFTER THE BAR closes, I leave and walk up the hill to my house.  I was anxious to get the hell out of there tonight.  Penny always has me on edge, and I silently curse Buddy for hirin' her.  There's a part of me that wants to stay far, far away from her, and then there's this other part of me that wants to pull her into my arms and keep her close to me forever.

It feels like I'm bein' split in two, and I hate it.  My brain and my heart are runnin' in different directions, and I'm a complete mess when I'm around her.  She seems to bring out the best and worst in me at the same time.  How is that even possible?

I'm about ten feet from the house when I hear Mack growlin' and barkin'.  Groanin', I jog towards the house.  I completely forgot Ruby Sue's promise earlier to stop by tonight.  I watch in amusement at the sight before me.  Ruby Sue is attemptin' to climb up the porch steps, but Mack isn't havin' it.  He's standin' his ground, not lettin' her pass.  He lets out a loud, long howl.

My dad always told me that dogs are great judges of character.  Mack doesn't like Ruby Sue, so maybe I should take that as a sign.

Shakin' my head, I yell, "Mack!"

Ruby Sue looks frightened as she retreats back to the bottom step.  She stumbles and almost falls in her ridiculously high heels.  I'm quick to catch her and hold her upright.

"I hate dogs," she mutters under her breath.

I roll my eyes.  I'm not in the mood to deal with her shit right now.  Glancin' up at Mack, I point to the grass and tell him to go pee.  He bounds down the steps, stoppin' at the bottom to sniff at Ruby Sue, which causes her to scream and practically jump in my arms.  Mack lets out a low growl before retreatin' to the yard.

"Go inside," I tell her.  "I'll bring him in when he's done."

"Okay.  But make sure you pen him up in the kitchen.  I don't want him disturbing us like last time."

The memory makes me chuckle.  Mack was totally cockblockin' me last time Ruby Sue was here.  He hates her with a passion, and he wanted her out of the house instead of in my bed.

I wait until Mack does his business, and then I reluctantly pen him up in the kitchen.  He gives me sad puppy dog eyes, and I pet his head and promise him, "Sorry, buddy.  It's only for a little while."

I search the downstairs for Ruby Sue, but she's nowhere to be found.  Of course she's probably waitin' for me in my bedroom.  I hesitate at the bottom of the steps.  For some reason, the thought of havin' sex with Ruby is turnin' me off right now.  I've never had this problem before, so I try to clear my thoughts as I make my way upstairs.