Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance (23 page)

Before everyone starts digging in, Mama says a quick prayer.  I can't help but wonder if she's asking God to help with her daughter's love life.  When she opens her eyes and stares at me while she says, "Amen", I think I know the answer to my question.

I take a bite of the mashed potatoes, and it practically melts in my mouth.  I might have learned how to bake from Colton's mother, but I definitely learned how to cook from my mama.  She makes the best mashed potatoes.

"How is the campaign going, Tucker?" my dad asks, breaking the silence.

"Very well.  The early polls are showing that New York City is ready for a change, and I hope that the city is ready for me," he says with a chuckle.  "I just wish I could get my campaign manager to decide when she's coming to New York so that we can really get the ball rolling on some things," he says, winking at me.

My father watches our exchange with a confused look on his face.  "Penny knows your campaign manager?"

Tucker clears his throat.  "Well, I've asked Penny to be my campaign manager.  I figured she would have told you," he says, raising a brow at me.

My eyes widen at his words; and they dart to my mama, who is looking like the cat who just ate a whole slew of canaries.  This is all part of her master plan --- for me to go back to New York and pursue a career in politics.  Adding Tucker to the mix is just the icing on the cake.

"Oh, my.  That is quite the opportunity, Penelope," she says with a big smile on her face.  "When would she be expected to leave for New York?" she asks Tucker.

"Well, Penny said she would probably leave at the end of summer."

"A little over a month now," my mama says, looking pleased as punch.  "And can I expect you to take care of my daughter when she's in the city?"

"Yes, ma'am.  It's my sole intention to take care of Penny up in New York.  I already have an apartment all lined up for her.  It's close to the office, but in a nice location and a very secure building.  There's an indoor pool and a gym that Penny could use in her downtime.  And, of course, her office will be right beside mine."  He looks up at me and grins.  "Penny and I will be spending a lot of time together."

My stomach is doing flips, and I put down my fork, suddenly no longer hungry.  I feel like Tucker is mapping out a life for me without my consent just like my parents have been trying to do almost my entire life.  He already has an apartment waiting for me?  He never even told me that.  It's almost like he's expecting me to go even though I've never actually gave him a definitive answer.  I stand up suddenly, almost knocking my chair over.

"What's wrong, Penny?" my father asks.

"I just…I need…"  I glance around the table, desperately trying to come up with a plausible excuse to get the hell out of this room.  "I need more…ice," I say, grasping my glass and then hightailing it into the kitchen.

I stand in the large room, gripping the countertop until my fingers turn white.  It's moments later when I hear footsteps behind me.

"Penny," Tucker says, his voice laced with concern.  He stops within a few feet from me.  "Was it something I said?" he asks in a hushed whisper.

I swallow hard and turn to face him.  "Tucker, I feel like I haven't even really said yes, and you're completely overtaking every decision I'll make if I decide to go to New York with you."

Tucker's brows furrow.  "Is this because of what I said about the apartment?" he asks.

"Yes!" I exclaim, and then quickly lower my voice.  "It's about the apartment and the office and…and everything is happening so fast, and I ---."  I press my palm over my thundering heart that is threatening to beat out of my chest.

"Whoa, Penny."  Tucker is at my side then, running his hand soothingly over my back as I lean over the sink, trying to catch my breath.

I know that this isn't just about Tucker and what he said.  This is more about Colton and Ruby Sue and what the future holds with all of us in it.  I'm scared.  No.  I'm downright terrified of what is going to happen.  I like to be in control of things, and right now I feel like everything is spiraling out of control.  I don't know how to handle these new events, and I'm scared that Colton is going to break my heart.  Again.

"Just breathe, Penny," he says in a soothing tone.

I close my eyes, and breathe through my nose and exhale through my mouth.  I don't want to have a full-blown panic attack right here in my parents' kitchen.  That would definitely be the last thing I need right now.

"I know you haven't one-hundred percent agreed to be my campaign manager.  I'm hopeful that you'll agree to come to New York with me, and I just wanted to make sure you had a place to stay if you decided to come.  I wanted you to feel comfortable and not have to worry about searching for a place right away.  In all honesty, the apartment will be for whoever my manager is going to be…even if it's not you."

His words instantly calm me.  He's not trying to boss me around or decide my life.  He was just trying to be nice.  Suddenly, I feel awful.  Slowly, I straighten and calm myself down before turning to him.  "Oh, Tuck.  I'm sorry."  I take his hand in mine and squeeze it reassuringly.  "I'm just having a bad day.  I didn't mean to accuse you of trying to rule my life.  It's just that my parents have been that way all my life…and I sort of…freaked out."

He smiles, flashing his perfectly white teeth.  "Don't worry about it.  It's already forgotten."

We walk back into the dining room, and the hushed conversation between my parents instantly stops.

"Everything all right?" my mama asks.  "Did you get the…ice…situation all figured out?" she asks with a quirked brow.

I nod and sit down.  "Yep."

We continue eating while my dad and Tucker talk politics.  I catch mama's stare out of the corner of my eye.  "Want to help me with dessert, Penelope?" she asks.

"Sure," I say before following her into the kitchen.

Mama cuts pieces of a cinnamon crumb cake, and I plate them with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  "It's so nice to see you and Tucker together.  I'm so glad this whole thing with Colton is over…especially since he's practically engaged."

I stop mid-scoop and look up at her.  "What do you mean practically engaged?"

"Well, Ruby Sue was telling all the ladies at the beauty parlor she works at that her and Colton are fixing to get married soon."

Her words shock me to my core.  Did Colton lie to me about the extent of their relationship too?

"It's nice to see you both moving on with your lives," she says before carrying out two plates to the dining room.

I close my eyes for a moment and tell myself to just breathe.  I'll have to deal with everything later, but now is not the time.  If Ruby Sue and Colton are getting married soon, I'll figure out the truth soon enough.

After dessert, Tucker and I leave my parents' house.  My mama practically begs us to come back next Sunday, but Tucker informs her that he'll be in New York by then.  I don't give my parents an answer.  I simply tell them I'll think about it.  I'm still upset about everything that has happened, and I can't help but partially blame them for it.  It was my mother's lies after all that got me into this mess in the first place.

Once we're back at my apartment, Tucker goes around the front of his SUV and opens my door.  I step out and he catches me in his arms, his hands at my hips.  "I had a great time, Penny," he says, staring down at me.  "I always have a good time so long as I'm with you."

I smile up at him.  "Yeah, you made Sunday dinner at my parents…tolerable."

He chuckles.  "I guess that's a good thing?"

I nod and bite my lower lip.

His eyes dart down to my mouth.  "So will I see you sometime this week?"

"Sure.  I'll be working at the bar almost every night."

"I'll be sure to stop by."  He pulls away then and moves towards the driver's side.  "Bye, Penny."

"Bye, Tuck."

I watch him leave.  When I turn to go back to my apartment, I stop dead in my tracks.  Colton is standing there, glaring at me.  He looks upset, but at this point I don't even care.

"You were with Tucker Hayward?" he asks with a pissed off tone.

"So what?" I throw over my shoulder as I walk past him.

He reaches out and grabs my hand, spinning me back around to him.

"What happened between yesterday and today?" he asks with furrowed brows.

"You tell me," I say with an accusatory tone.  When he says nothing, I shake my head in disbelief.  "You're not even going to fess up?  Fine.  I went to your house last night, Colt, and I saw you and Ruby Sue on the couch kissing."  I swallow hard.  It's hard for me to even say the words out loud.

His eyes widen.  "It's not what you think, Penny," he says quickly.

"I know she spent the night, Colton."  I put my hands on my hips and glare at him.  "You let her spend the night after what we shared together?  I thought that meant something to you.  I thought ---."

"It did mean something!"  Then he quickly adds, "It still does!"

"Obviously not if you let her tongue in your mouth hours after you were with me."  I take a few steps away from him, needing the distance.  "Have you been downplaying your relationship with Ruby Sue?  Have you been planning a future with her?  Have you guys talked about marriage?"  My questions spit out one after another, and I can't stop them.  I don't want to stop them, because I desperately need to know the answers.

"She talked about the future.  All girls do that," he says innocently.

"Did you ever talk about it together?  Have you ever told her that you wanted to marry her?"

He shrugs, and I want to smack him.  He's being so nonchalant, and to me the matter is almost as serious as life and death.  "Colton, tell me the truth.  Have you ever told her that you wanted to get married someday?"

"Someday.  Maybe.  I don't know."  He runs his hands through his hair.  "I don't remember every single word I've ever said to her, Penny."  He turns to me, a mask of anger on his face.  "What do you want from me?  What the fuck do you want from me, Penny?"

"I want the truth!" I yell.  "I just want the truth, Colt!"

"Maybe I told her those things in the past, but all couples do that!  I didn't put a ring on her finger!  None of that matters now anyway, because we haven't even talked about shit like that recently."  He hesitates, and his anger seems to quickly disperse.  "Not since
you've
been back in town."

I stare at him in disbelief.  What did this even mean?  What did I want it to mean?  I put my face in my hands and sigh deeply.  "I'm so stupid," I whisper.

He pulls my hands away and stares into my eyes.  "You're not stupid.  Why would you say that?"

"Because I am!" I cry.  My vision blurs with tears, and I pull away from him.  "I'm stupid for coming back here.  I'm stupid for staying.  I'm stupid for sleeping with you.  I'm stupid for trying to hold onto something that doesn't exist anymore.  And I'm stupid for trying to love someone who obviously doesn't love me!"

He takes a step forward, but I turn and run up the steps to my apartment.  I can't bear his touch right now.  It might just completely break me.  I can hear his heavy footsteps behind me, but I don't turn around.  I unlock the door quickly and rush inside.  I turn to shut the door, but he's there, blocking it from closing.  "Just leave me alone, Colton!  I don't want you here!"

"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me!" he yells, pushing his way through the door and slamming it behind him.  The windows rattle from the force.

I steel my nerves and turn to him.  It's the moment of truth, and I need to know.  Right now.  "Did you sleep with her?"

"What?" he asks, clearly caught off guard.

"Did you have sex with Ruby Sue last night?"

He scrubs a hand over his face and blows out a sigh.  "I…I don't remember."

"You don't remember?" I scoff.  I can feel my heart break a little more, and I don't know how much more I have left that isn't broken.  It seems like anymore all it does is shatter day after day.  Shoving my finger into his chest, I say, "Oh, that's a great excuse, Colton, especially coming from you!"  I know it's a low blow, but I had to take it.  My heart is breaking, and I refuse to not make him hurt this time.  If I'm going down, he's going down with me.  "How could you do this to me, Colton?  After everything I've done for you.  How could you hurt me like this?"

I can see the pain in his eyes, but I can't believe the words that come out of his mouth next.  "I never asked you to tag along behind me like a lost puppy, Penny.  That was all your doing," he says with a smirk.

His words almost destroy me right then and there.  I curl my hands into fists, my fingernails biting into my palms.  "You're such an asshole!" I scream.

The cocky grin on his face instantly fades.  "Don't turn this around on me, little miss Penelope Preston!  You're the one who thinks you can make the past five years disappear!  Well, sweetheart, I'm not that person anymore!  The person you knew died at the bottom of that lake!"

His words pierce through me like a knife straight through my heart.  What was I thinking was going to happen?  That Colton would fall for me again and that we would live happily ever after?  I've obviously been reading too many damn romance novels.  Real life doesn't work like that.  All this time I've been waiting for someone who clearly doesn't want me, who clearly will never want me the same way I want him.