Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (9 page)

“We can’t
make
you do it.” Caryon looked up at the night sky. “There are these aggravating rules in place. But we can bribe you, and Alesa suggested a really good one.”

“I can’t imagine what you could offer me that would tempt me to lure my friends and acquaintances over to the dark side.” I wasn’t really listening. I was trying to keep my mind blank since I knew they could read it, though I desperately wanted to get us out of there.

“Gloriana St. Clair,” Caryon intoned with the voice of an announcer on a quiz show. “How would
you
like to be a size six?”

“
You
have got to be kidding me.
That’s
your bribe?” I stared at Spyte.

“Yes.” He frowned down at Penny, who was gnawing on his thumb. “Alesa assured me that was one of your heart’s desires. That’s how we get people on the give-up-your-soul train. Dangle something they really, really want in front of them and—bam!—they’re ours. Ouch?” Black blood began to ooze from the wound Penny had made.

“Penny! Don’t drink a demon’s blood. I’m here to tell you it can have bad consequences.” I was relieved when I saw her back away from the droplets. Spyte tossed her to his other hand with a grimace.

“That wasn’t nice, Glory. Demon blood is delicious.” He sniffed, then stuck his thumb in his mouth to lick off the blood.

“Nice? You expect me to be nice to you? I’ve been a size six before, for about five minutes.
It
was nice. I even loved it. But I won’t sacrifice my friends for it. No thanks.” I put out my hand and realized I could almost reach Rafe’s arm. “Please let us go now.” I looked up at the sky. We had a few hours before dawn, but not so much that it didn’t occur to me that these demons could leave me like this to fry when the sun came up. And Penny. What would happen to her? Fear slammed into me like a stake in the heart.

Caryon smiled. “Aw, Glory, don’t worry. We aren’t here to terminate you.” He exchanged glances with Spyte. “Yet.”

“You said you can’t force the issue.” I hated that my voice quavered.

“A technicality. Unfortunately.” Spyte frowned when Penny began to dig her claws into his palm. “But we can offer incentives. You’ll see. The first one is a surprise. Next time you’re in your shop, or even at home, look around. You might see something unexpected.” Spyte handed Penny to me. “I do like the rat. She’s a tough little thing. I’m keeping an eye on her.”

“And, Glory, don’t dismiss our proposition out of hand. You don’t have to harvest souls from your friends, you know. Just from the people you meet who you think deserve hell. You’d be doing a public service.” Caryon smiled, giving me another glimpse of jagged fangs that made me shudder. “Simon Destiny ring a bell?”

“Simon? I figured he was already marked for hell.” He served a goddess who came from down there, so it was a no-brainer.

“Oh, he is. But he’s playing for the wrong team. Lucifer wants him on ours. We have kind of a competition going on down there. Each god and goddess in the Underworld has its own turf. And collects its own, um, victims.” Big smile from Spyte. “Nobody trusts each other on the accounting thing so we have a scorekeeper. He posts quarterly stats. Right now, well, let’s just say Luc doesn’t like to fall behind and leave it at that.” He and Cary shuddered and didn’t that make me wonder how Lucifer expressed displeasure.

“It spices up what could be a rather dull existence.” Caryon sighed. “You know roasting, filleting, slicing and dicing. And the screams are endless.” He arched a brow at Spyte. “Some of us have started to tune it out.”

“Can I help it if I got caught with my iPod during playtime? Drawing and quartering is so archaic. And when they get out the cattle prods . . . I mean who wouldn’t yawn? Get over it, Cary.” Spyte huffed.

“I’ll get over it when the job’s done. We’re working off seventy demerits here. Demerits you got us, Spyte.” Caryon turned his back on his cohort. “New recruits give us some bragging rights, points.”

“And entertainment,” Spyte added.

“Exactly.” Caryon rested his hand on Spyte’s shoulder. “Simon’s so deliciously bad. Worth a bundle to Luc. All the Energy Vampires are. And we have a feeling you could recruit Simon for us, Glory. You know you’d love to bring him down.” He winked. “And I do mean down.”

“Not denying that. But why do you want immortals anyway? Seems like you’d have a long wait. Like forever.” I dropped my arm so Penny could scurry down my leg and into the brush again. She could hide there until these yahoos left. If they ever did. I glanced at the sky again.

“You know as well as I do that immortals bite the big one all the time. Like Miss Penny’s sire did the other night. He’s down there serving time right now.” Caryon raised his voice. “Bet that makes your undead heart sing, doesn’t it, furry one?”

Penny walked out from behind a bush, back in human form again but obviously shaken. She sucked it up though and actually walked right up to stand next to me and squeezed my hand.

“Sure does. Tell me he’s roasting over a pit or something.”

“Or something.” Spyte smiled and looked her over with that nasty X-ray vision of his. Oh, how I wanted to rip out his throat. I’d even risk sucking in some demon blood to do it.

“We don’t share all the details of the joys of hell with potential, um, members, Penny, dear.” Caryon whipped a black card with gold letters out of his breast pocket. “Here’s my number. Call if you wish to talk. About anything.”

“Don’t touch that!” I strained against the freeze that kept me glued to the ground. But Penny just grabbed the card and stuck it in her pocket.

“I have a question for you.” Penny glanced at me. “Why bother Glory here? Why don’t you just recruit this Simon character yourself?”

“Hmm. Good question. She’s a smart one.” Caryon glanced at Spyte. “It’s like this. We can’t steal players from another team directly, you see. Stupid rule, but it’s one we can’t go around.”

“That’s right. So we have to get insignificants like Glory here to do the dirty work, so to speak. Leaves our hands clean.” Spyte’s laugh sent chills down my spine. “As if that concept matters down there. But somehow fair play is the one thing Luc insists on. Can you believe it?”

“No.” I didn’t believe any of this. “You’re wasting your time here. I am not working for the Devil. Period.”

Spyte laughed again. “We’ll see. Oh, yes, we’ll see.” He looked down and set my favorite boots on fire. I felt the heat lick at my toes and bit my lips to hold back a scream.

Penny did screech and pulled off my jacket to smother the flames. “You creeps! What was that for?”

“Just a little reminder of who you’re talking to and where we’re from. This isn’t a game, people. Take it seriously.” Caryon waved a hand. “We’ll be going now. You have a lot to think over, don’t you, Glory?” Caryon ran a finger tipped in a black claw over my cheek, then simply vanished. Spyte gave us a little wave then disappeared as well.

“Son of a bitch!” Rafe jerked free and ran to me. “Are you all right?”

“I’m okay. Boots? Not so much.” I fell to the ground, my toes stinging but not really hurt. Not like my boots were. They were a melted mess. Ralph Lauren black patent, found on sale, now history. I handed Penny the ruined jacket and risked singed fingers to pull down the zippers and get the boots off. Damned demons.

Rafe examined my toes, reassured himself that they were just a little pink, then stomped around the hillside. Of course it was futile. The demons were gone, the only other sign they’d ever been there the cloying scent of sugar that clung to the air, like we were downwind from a donut shop. Mortals would think that was yummy. Me? Since I couldn’t eat a donut, it was nothing but more torture.

“That was strange and scary as hell.” Penny sagged against me. “Uh, literally, I guess.” I could feel her shaking as I hugged her and met Rafe’s eyes over her head. He looked like he wanted to flame another bush. “When he threw me from one hand to the other, I almost died. Again.”

“You certainly got to practice your shape-shifting. But a rat?” I pulled back and looked at her.

“We have them in the lab. It was all I could think of.” Penny’s hand went to her pants pocket. “Those demons blew my mind.”

“Penny, give me that card.” I gave her a stern look.

“No way. It’s cool. A demon’s card. It’s going in my ‘Oops, I’m a Vampire’ scrapbook.” She held her hand over her pocket. “I’m not going to call him. Are you kidding me? My grandpa is a Baptist preacher. He’d have a cow and calves.” Penny sighed. “Of course what would he do if he saw my fangs?”

“You won’t let him. And just because you’re a vampire now doesn’t mean you’re bound for hell. I go to church. As many Sundays as I can. Night services.” I felt Rafe’s arm go around me. I turned to him. “You okay?”

“Sure. I’m worried about you. Getting attention like this from Lucifer is no joke. No, they can’t coerce you, but evil is their specialty. They can apply lots of pressure indirectly to get what they want. Like the hot foot just now.” He leaned down to kiss my cheek. “That bitch Alesa sicced them on you as payback for playing hard to get when she was inside you. Now they’ll see you as a personal challenge.” Rafe’s frown was so fierce Penny stepped back from him. “They’ll be back. I guarantee it.”

“Way to make me feel better, Rafe.” We climbed into his car. Penny peppered me with questions about Alesa that I didn’t want to answer as the dawn dragged at me. Rafe drove fast, anxious to check with Trey on how the closing had gone. Reality. Unfortunately, we hadn’t faced the last of it.

 

“Jenny called me six times while I slept.” Penny shoved her cell phone in my face as soon as I rolled out of bed. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to just dying at dawn.”

“Can I brush my teeth before I deal with you and your sister drama?” I pushed her out of the way and staggered into the bathroom.

“It’s not drama. It’s my life, Glory.” Penny stood in the bathroom doorway.

I ignored her and grabbed my toothbrush. I squeezed toothpaste, leaned against the sink, looked up and screamed.

“Glory! What happened?” Penny grabbed my arm and turned me to face her. “The demon’s back?”

Okay, Penny was real. I touched her face, clear of makeup, and patted her tangled hair. Hairdresser. Calling her first thing. Then I slowly turned toward the mirror above the sink. No, not possible.

“L-l-look. What do you see?” I pointed at the mirror.

“You trying to torment me? I already brushed my teeth and washed my face. Talk about a freak-out. Checking the mirror and nobody . . .” Penny stared at the mirror and then at me. “Oh. My. God.”

“What do you see, Penny?” I held on to the sink to keep from falling to the floor.

“You—you have a reflection. How did that happen?” Penny waved her hand in front of my face but it didn’t show up in the mirror, only as a brief distortion in my reflection.

Me. My reflection. Of my face. I was seeing my face for the first time, except in that computer monitor, in more than four hundred years. I leaned closer. Scary. Not that I looked old. No, I was still a dewy twenty-two, though I guess I looked older by today’s standards. I’d had no access to face creams or even decent soap back in the day. My hair was wild and I brushed it back. I needed my own appointment with the shifter who cut my hair. I wouldn’t mind some highlights too and, geez, my brows could stand a serious plucking.

“Glory, snap out of it.” Penny shook my arm. “Has this happened before?”

“No.” I dragged my eyes from the mirror. “The demons said they had an incentive for me to become a size six. I guess this is what they were talking about.”

Penny stepped out of the bathroom and did a quick tour of the small apartment. “Well, there’s sure no full-length mirror in here. Guess to get the whole effect you’ll have to go down to your shop.”

“Full effect.” I glanced back at my rear. “Those bastards. They want to torture me. Want me to look at myself and see how big I am.” I picked up my toothbrush again. “Size six. Who wouldn’t want to be a size six?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I haven’t seen that number since I was thirteen except in the shoe department.” Penny glanced down at her faded sleep shirt. “Jenny’s a six.”

“Of course she is. So’s one of my best friends. Size six is gorgeous. Worshipped by the masses as perfection for some reason.” This was a hot-button issue for me. Totally unfair, this obsession with size. Big bones, heredity. There were so many factors that went into a woman’s size. My own was the result of Jeremiah Campbell not warning me that I’d be stuck when he turned me. And he’d chosen a day when I was bloating, for crying out loud. Stuffed me like a Thanksgiving turkey for weeks before my V-day too. Men. They just don’t get it.

“It’s so unfair!” Penny peered over my shoulder, as fascinated by the fact that she couldn’t see herself as I was that I could.

“Exactly.” I waved my toothbrush in front of the mirror, still thrilled that I could see the hand holding it, my face behind it, the whole enchilada. “But I’m not giving in to those evil demons. I’m not working for the Devil. I’m at peace with my chubby thighs.” Couldn’t believe I said that with a straight face.