Promise Me (27 page)

Sara blinked a few times, looking more confused than before. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s Johnny,” I told her, figuring holding back was only making things worse. “Jack is Johnny.”

It took her a few seconds to realize who I was talking about. Although Johnny was our neighbor, and he and I had been inseparable as kids, he’d been
my
friend. Sara had tagged along with us wherever we went, because I was in charge of her, but she and Johnny hadn’t been close like he and I had. I wasn’t sure she even knew about what had gone on with his parents – outside of his dad’s final act of violence. And after Johnny left Rally Falls, she hadn’t mourned his absence like I had. He’d just been another person to come and go in her life, but to me his loss was immeasurable.

“Johnny Evans?” she questioned.

“Yes.”

She still looked confused. “You mean our old neighbor whose dad murdered his mom?”

I cringed at the harsh way she talked about what had happened, but then I nodded. “Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“That’s not something I’d lie about,” I assured her.

“But his name’s totally different? And Jack is from outside Houston. He told me that.”

“That’s because he doesn’t share who he used to be with anyone, but after what happened with his mom, he moved to Texas to live with his aunt and uncle. They essentially adopted him, so he took their last name. Then he changed his first name to Jack, because he didn’t want to have the same name as his father anymore. Anyone who meets him today probably doesn’t even know that he ever lived in Indiana, let alone what happened to his parents. It’s not something he wants anyone to know.”

“And you just figured this all out?” she questioned skeptically. “Because it seems a little farfetched to me. He doesn’t even look the same. Johnny was scrawny and short, and he wasn’t hot at all. Jack is probably one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, well, people grow up. They change, and Johnny grew up to be hot,” I fired back, feeling weird admitting that out loud, but I was trying to prove a point.

“I’m not sure I believe you. That’s like the craziest story I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” I countered. “And I didn’t figure it out. Jack did. My name isn’t different, and I guess I look similar to how I looked when I was twelve. He started asking questions, and he realized who I was.”

“Just like that,” Sara said, still sounding like she didn’t believe me. “He just walked up to you one day and said, ‘Hey, I think you might be my old best friend.’ No way.”

I shook my head and fought the urge to roll my eyes. “No, it wasn’t like that at all. It wasn’t easy for him to tell me, and after he did, it sort of took him a while to come around to idea of me knowing. We really only started hanging out a few days ago, getting to know each other again. It’s all pretty new, but we’re making up for lost time.”

“You know Alyssa hates you,” she said, telling me what I’d already suspected.

“I’m sure she does.”

“Why? If you and Jack only started hanging out a few days ago, what did you do to make her not like you? You must have flirted with him or something.”

I sighed. “Technically we only started hanging out a few days ago, but I guess we’ve been friends for longer. Jack knew who I was for a month, and in that time he started coming by the restaurant when I was working, we sat together in class, and we studied together once. There’s absolutely nothing going on with us, but I don’t know how he’s explained our friendship to Alyssa. All I know is that she’s definitely not my biggest fan.”

“No, she isn’t, and she made that abundantly clear this weekend. I was honestly afraid I’d done something to piss her off, which we all know you
don’t
do. She’s either your best friend or your worst enemy, and when she targeted me this weekend, I had no idea what I’d done wrong. Then I heard her and a few of the other sisters talking, and I heard her mention your name. She thinks you’re sleeping with Jack.”

“I’m not,” I said firmly, just so there wasn’t any confusion. “Everything between us is completely platonic. We’re honestly just friends, but Sara, finding out who Jack is has been the best thing that could have happened. I know you weren’t really close to Johnny, but he was my very best friend, and not only did I worry like crazy when he left, but I missed him so much.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I remember hearing you crying in your room for a long time after he left.”

I nodded. “It was really hard for me, and I get that his girlfriend might be jealous of the fact that I’m in his life, but I can only be so sympathetic to that. The past few days have been amazing. I got my best friend back after all these years, and although so much has changed, and so much time has passed, it feels like we just picked up where we left off. I can’t explain it, but I’m not going to give up what we have. I won’t do it, and if it takes me telling Alyssa that I’m not a threat to her, I’ll do it, but at the end of the day this isn’t about her. Jack isn’t interested in me as anything but a friend, and he’s not going to cheat on her. We’re seriously just friends.”

“I doubt she sees things that way.”

“She probably doesn’t,” I said, remembering my last interaction with Alyssa. “But I’m not sure what I can do to change her mind.”

“She was talking so much shit about you last night,” Sara mused. “I think she assumed I was asleep, but I heard what she was saying.”

“Do I want to know?” I asked her.

She shook her head. “No, you don’t, but she needs to know that there’s nothing going on with you and Jack – if not for your sanity then for mine. I have two weeks left of being a pledge, and she’s going to make my life hell. Or she’ll just have me kicked out of the house, which would really suck.”

“Are you serious?”

Sara nodded, and it really pissed me off. Had Alyssa seriously stooped so low as to harass my sister for something she thought I did? That was bullshit.

“What did she do to you?”

Sara looked like she didn’t want to tell me. “It was nothing.”

“Was she hazing you, because I thought that was something sororities weren’t allowed to do anymore?”

“She wasn’t hazing me,” Sara said quickly. “We don’t do that, but she has a way of making me know she doesn’t like me. It was little semi-obvious things she did and comments that she made. By the end of the weekend, everyone knew I’d done something to her. It sucked, and I know it’s only going to get worse. She can be such a bitch when she wants to be, and if she turns the other sisters against me, they could vote me out.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” I told her, appalled that after two months of being in a sorority that they could just kick her out.

“I’m not officially a sister until initiation in two weeks,” she explained. “And they don’t have to let me in. If there’s a justifiable reason, they can tell me they’re done with me.”

“Me possibly sleeping with Alyssa’s boyfriend isn’t a justifiable reason,” I argued.

Sara smiled, but there was a sadness to it. “Maybe not, but they’ll come up with something that sticks. Believe me, I’ve heard about it happening before. I just figured it wouldn’t happen to me. I thought I was doing everything right.”

“You are,” I insisted. “Alyssa’s just a bitch.”

Maybe I didn’t understand why this was so important to my sister, but I could tell by the look on her face that becoming an official AKPi was something she wanted more than anything. I’d never forgive myself if I was the reason she didn’t get in.

“She is a bitch,” she agreed with me. “But she’s a bitch who gets what she wants.”

“Not if I can help it,” I assured her. Then I closed my eyes and shook my head, fighting the urge to tell Sara that Alyssa could fuck off. It wouldn’t help anything. Instead I figured I could do something that
would
help – even if I was going to absolutely hate doing it. “I’ll back off.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll back off from being friends with Jack. I’ll put some distance between us.”

“But what about how happy you said you are to have him back in your life?”

I shrugged. “I can temporarily put aside my happiness for you. I’ll gladly do it.”

I’d done it a thousand times before.

“Kate, no. That’s stupid,” Sara said quickly.

No, it was normal. I’d been doing it for so long that it felt completely natural. It was like a Pavlovian response for me. I couldn’t stand it when my sister was upset, so I did what I could to take away her pain – even if it ended up hurting me in the long run.

“It’s not stupid,” I assured her. “And it’s just two weeks. After that, you’ll be an official sister, and Alyssa’s opinion won’t matter.”

Sara bit her lip, like she was contemplating what I was saying. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Hey, like I said, Jack and I are just friends. And after being apart for eight years, I’m sure we can survive two more weeks.”

“Thank you, Kate,” she said gratefully.

I smiled. “It’s just two weeks,” I repeated, mostly trying to convince myself that it really wouldn’t be a big deal to stay away from Jack. In reality, I was already dreading it.

“I can’t believe Jack is really Johnny Evans,” Sara mused. “That’s, like, the craziest story.”

“Trust me, I’m still wrapping my head around it all, but it’s really cool, right?”

She nodded. “It’s totally cool. I’m sorry I accused you of sleeping with him. That was shitty of me.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I guess I can see why you might think that, but trust me when I tell you tonight was completely harmless. We went to Olive Garden with an eleven year-old.”

Sara looked confused again. “Since when does Johnny have a brother?”

“Jack,” I corrected her. “Don’t call him Johnny. He hates it. And Charlie isn’t his real brother. They got paired up though Big Brothers. They hang out once a week. Charlie’s kind of like we were. He doesn’t have a lot, and Jack’s family has money, so he does what he can for Charlie.”

“That’s cool. We could have used someone like him when we were growing up.”

I smiled. “Yeah, that would have been cool. It’s nice to not have to worry about that stuff anymore, isn’t it?”

“It is, but I wish I could erase my memories of what it was like before,” she told me honestly.

I shook my head. “Not me. I’m who I am today because of what we went through. Same with Jack. It’s engrained in us, and I don’t think I’d change it for anything.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she said, but I wasn’t sure she truly believed that.

Sara had a way of blocking out reality, and she’d always had me to unburden her life. She’d never been okay with our lot, and she’d never been happier when Dan had whisked us out of poverty. I’d been grateful too – especially because I knew he was a big reason why our mom was able to stay sober – but a part of me would probably always hang onto who I’d been for so long. It made me appreciate what I had now so much more, and I never wanted to lose that appreciation.

“Do you want to watch
The Walking Dead
?” Sara asked me. “It already started, so we should be able watch it without commercials.”

“Sure,” I told her, even though a part of me kind of just wanted to be alone.

I couldn’t believe I’d just agreed to take a break from hanging out with Jack. After eight years apart, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But then again, my sister had thought something was going on with us, and so had Jack’s girlfriend.
And
I’d been battling some fairly inappropriate feelings for someone with a serious girlfriend. Maybe a break wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Maybe it would give me a chance to get some air, clear my head, and help me remember that although Jack was back in my life, and it was the best thing that could have happened, he wasn’t mine – at least not in the way he used to be.

Other people had taken pieces of his heart over the years, and although he’d given a big part of it to me, it was still something I had to share. And I had to share it with Alyssa. She’d come first, and he loved her. Whatever romantic feelings we might have shared eight years earlier, and whatever flirting we’d done in the past few weeks, didn’t mean anything. At the very least, some time apart would give me the chance to remember that once and for all.

Chapter Thirteen

Jack

“Hey,” I said as I slid into the seat next to Kate on Monday morning.

She was looking over her notes, but she glanced up and gave me a small smile, said hi, and then she went back to her notes.

“Everything okay?” I asked her, because it seemed like something was up.

She normally didn’t give me a cursory greeting and move on. We usually capitalized on the time before class to talk.

“Yup. I’m great,” she said, and then she gave me another small smile, but this one looked even more forced than the first one.

I eyed her skeptically for a few seconds, not sure what was going on. She didn’t seem great, but at least I knew it wasn’t anything I’d done. When we’d hugged goodbye the night before, we’d been good.

I held onto that knowledge as I asked, “So how did it go with Sara?”

“It was fine.”

Yeah, something was definitely up.

“Kate, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she said with such forced casualness that I knew she was lying.

“You can talk to me.”

“I don’t have anything to talk about.”

I sighed in frustration and surged forward. “So, Sara wasn’t surprised that we ran into each other again? She wasn’t excited? Because I remember her liking me when we were kids.”

“She did like you, and yes, she was really surprised.”

“Okaaaay,” I said, drawing out the word as I tried to figure out why our conversation felt so one-sided. “So that was it?”

Kate looked up at me. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“So, does she want to grab lunch this week? Wednesday would work for me.”

“Oh, I didn’t ask her,” Kate said nonchalantly.

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I forgot. We got to talking about other stuff. How was your night?”

I groaned, because I really didn’t want to talk about my night, but at least she’d asked me a question. That was progress. I’d come back to the lunch thing, because something still felt off. Kate was organized and had a great memory. She didn’t typically forget things, so I couldn’t understand why she’d conveniently forgotten that.

“My night sort of sucked. Alyssa and I got into a fight.”

“You did?” she questioned, and I noticed a dark cloud pass over her features at the mention of my girlfriend. “What about?”

I hated that they didn’t get along. Or rather I hated the fact that Lys didn’t like Kate. Kate was awesome. She was the coolest, and Lys was pissed that we were friends.
That
was what I hated.

That was also what we’d fought about. We’d been hanging out in my room, watching TV, and having a chill night, when my phone had beeped. It was a text from Charlie, and as Lys handed me my phone from the bedside table, she saw that he’d said something about Kate. I had no idea why she felt compelled to read the text, but she had, and then it was like a rapid-fire question session – How does Charlie know Kate? Why is he asking about her? Were you hanging out with her again? Did he get to meet her? Why are you spending so much time with her? And it went on and on and on.

So of course I had to explain that I’d brought Kate with me to dinner with Charlie, which obviously didn’t go over so well. Alyssa was more pissed than I’d ever seen her, and I knew it was the moment that I needed to tell her everything. I needed to explain who Kate really was, and I needed to make sure Lys knew that we were just friends, but Kate was someone who was important to me, so she was going to be in my life.

That was what I should have done, because it would have made things so much easier, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the things I so desperately wanted to keep hidden. So I lied instead and told her that Kate was a sociology major, and she was doing a paper on underprivileged kids. I said she’d wanted to interview Charlie, which was the only reason I’d invited her to dinner.

It was such a bad lie, and I felt bad for dragging Charlie into it, but I wasn’t sure what else to say. Nothing else that came to mind seemed even relatively plausible. I was stuck, but the good news was that Alyssa bought it – after a few more minutes of me strengthening the story and adding a few details of embellishment – and just like that, we weren’t fighting anymore.

I’d breathed a sigh of relief as she snuggled against me and looked up at me with wide eyes. Then in her saddest voice – the one she usually reserved for when she made comments about how her parents never cared about her – she said, “Tell me you’re not sleeping with her, Jack.”

I’d quickly said no, because just the fact that she was thinking that made me feel like a huge dick. I’d never cheat on her, and I needed her to know that. She already felt abandoned by her parents, and very few guys from her past had ever taken her seriously. The last thing I wanted to do was let her down like everyone who’d come before me had.

And I knew if she found out about all the not-so-friendly images I’d had of Kate at various points over the weekend, I’d definitely be letting her down. All of them had been so wrong, and I needed to stop. I also needed Alyssa to never find out. Instead I was going to assure her that I was with her, and I only wanted to be with her. And I was going to leave it at that.

Thankfully she’d seemed to be okay with the half a dozen assurances I gave her, and when she left a few hours later, we were good. I knew I was going to have to tread carefully where Kate was concerned, but that was okay. I’d been riding a fine line anyway, and I needed to back off. We could be friends, but I needed to find a way to nix the inappropriate thoughts.

And I knew I shouldn’t tell her why Alyssa and I were fighting. That definitely wouldn’t be smart, since not only would Kate hate to know she’d caused our fight, but it probably wouldn’t help the negative feelings she already had about Lys. If I had any hope of them being friends at any point, I needed to keep the peace between them as much as possible.

“Oh, it was nothing major,” I told her instead. “Lys and I just haven’t seen much of each other lately, so tensions were high.”

“Were you guys able to resolve everything?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, we’re good. Everything’s fine.”

Kate smiled, and I was glad to see it was her normal, genuine smile. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t really like fighting all that much. It never feels productive.”

“I can’t imagine it brings back the best memories either,” she said, proving how well she really did know me.

I nodded. “More than you can imagine. A few hurtful words, and I’m right back there listening to my parents argue. I hate it.”

“Me too,” she said softly.

We were silent for a few second before I said, “So, do you think Professor Hall is going to spring an impromptu essay on us?”

I really wasn’t interested in taking our conversation any further. I could talk to Kate about my past, but it didn’t mean I wanted to. Some things were better left alone.

“I was kind of planning on it,” she said referring to her notes. “It feels like every time we wrap up a section or two, he decides he wants an essay on one of the topics we covered. I’m just not sure what I’m going to write about if that’s the case.”

“We have to write another essay?” I heard in a grumbling voice from my other side at the same time I felt a rush of air as someone sat down in the empty seat next to mine.

I looked up in surprise, afraid I was hearing things. “Lys?”

“Hey baby,” she said, snuggling closer to me as she wrapped her arm around mine.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m in this class, remember?” she reminded me in a tone that was probably meant to be playful, but the playfulness sounded way too forced for my liking.

So was the way she was holding onto me and leaning into my personal space. The chairs in the auditorium weren’t really designed to do that.

“But you stopped coming weeks ago. Haven’t you just been watching the lectures online?”

“I wanted to see you,” she said in a pouty voice.

“Okay,” I said, still puzzled by what was going on.

“Hi Kate,” Alyssa purred as she released me and leaned forward so she could say hello to Kate, which seemed even weirder.

Then everything suddenly became clear. I had a feeling this was a ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ situation, and as Alyssa plastered on a fake smile and engaged Kate in conversation, I sat there in disbelief. Kate seemed even more confused than I was, and the whole situation just pissed me off.

If Lys had really wanted to experience class in person, that would have been one thing, but she was checking up on me. She knew Kate and I sat together, and for some reason she felt like she needed to chaperone our time during class, probably to make sure we weren’t secretly making out during the lecture. It was complete bullshit, and I hated that she didn’t trust me.

Thankfully Professor Hall addressed the class, forcing Alyssa back in her seat. Kate hadn’t looked like she was really enjoying their conversation, so I had a feeling that for once she was glad to be taking notes and listening to our professor drone on about shadow economies.

“Jack,” Alyssa hissed.

“What?” I asked, not looking at her as I scribbled down what Professor Hall was saying. He liked to talk fast, and he didn’t pause often. If I wasn’t careful, I’d miss something.

“Can I borrow a pen?”

“You don’t have a pen?” I asked Alyssa in disbelief, looking over at her.

She gave me puppy dog eyes and batted her lashes. “I forgot one.”

“Fine,” I said, handing her my pen as I fished another one out of my backpack.

“Thanks babe,” she said, and then she blew me a kiss.

I did my best to quiet the sigh that escaped my lips, but it wasn’t easy. Fake helplessness drove me crazy.

“Do you want to meet for lunch later?” Alyssa asked me a few minutes later.

I looked over at her as I felt Kate glance up at us.

“Lunch? What?” I questioned, knowing I was missing key pieces of the lecture.

I was going to have to borrow Kate’s notes or re-watch it online later.

“I’m craving a Greek salad. Want to buy me lunch?” Alyssa asked.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.”

“Aww, you’re such a sweetheart.”

“I do my best,” I mumbled, glancing over at Kate’s notes to see what she’d written down.

Professor Hall had paused to answer a question, so I had a few seconds to jot down what I’d missed.

“What does that mean?” I asked her.

She explained it in a hushed whisper, and I nodded, taking a few additional notes. “Thanks.”

“Can I copy your notes later?” Alyssa asked me.

I looked over at her in irritation. “You wouldn’t have to if you’d just pay attention.”

She yawned. “I’m too tired to pay attention. Please, Jack,” she said, giving me a little pout.

I sighed. “If you don’t talk for the rest of the lecture, then yes, you can copy my notes.”

She smiled. “That’s why you’re the best boyfriend ever,” she said just loud enough that I knew the people around us could hear.

I sighed to myself as I refocused my attention on Professor Hall.

I was grateful when class ended forty-five minutes later, because I’d never been so distracted in my life trying to listen to a lecture. After I’d asked her to not interrupt me again, and I’d promised her my notes, Lys had spent the rest of the hour shifting around in her seat, grumbling that it was too cold in the room, and doodling in her notebook. I wasn’t sure if she really was tired, she was just bored, or if she was trying to make sure my attention wasn’t far from her, but whatever she was doing had annoyed the shit out of me. We were going to have a long talk later about her impeding my school work. I was tired of it.

“Oh, my God, was that not the most boring lecture ever?” she grumbled as she, Kate, and I made our way out of the auditorium.

“I actually thought it was kind of interesting,” Kate said nonchalantly. “And I don’t normally think that.”

“Yeah, I thought it was cool too,” I agreed.

Of course that made Alyssa pout.

“Whatever,” she told us as we stepped outside.

“I guess I’ll see you guys later,” Kate said quickly, no doubt feeling the tension in the air.

“Yeah, I’ll see you,” I told her.

She gave me a look that said ‘good luck’, probably figuring I’d need it. She might have been right.

“Bye Alyssa. It was nice to see you again.”

“Oh, you too, Kate,” Lys gushed in her fake-nice voice. “Take care.”

Kate gave her a forced smile before she turned to leave. Alyssa watched her for a few seconds before she turned to me. “So, lunch later?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, hoping I’d either get over being annoyed with her by then or she’d calm down the theatrics. She wasn’t usually like that, and it bothered me. “Oh, wait. No, I can’t.”