Promise Me (29 page)

“You okay, man?” Logan asked after I didn’t say anything for several seconds.

I actually wasn’t sure I was okay, but how was I supposed to tell him that I’d been wondering if my relationship was a complete sham.

“Jack?”

I snapped back to attention as he said my name and let my eyes come back into focus.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I told him, but there wasn’t much conviction behind my words. I looked down at my watch. “I need to get to class.”

Logan nodded, but I could tell he didn’t believe me. “Yeah, I should probably go too. You want to grab dinner later?”

“No, I think I need to talk to Alyssa,” I told him, because that just made sense.

I’d never been the kind of person to drag things out, and even if what I’d been thinking wasn’t true and she really did love me, we still needed to sort out everything with Kate. At the very least, I needed Lys to trust my intentions and that I wasn’t going to do something reckless.

“Yeah, sure. I get it,” Logan said. “Hey, we’re cool, right? I really didn’t mean to be a dick. I’m just worried about you.”

“Yeah, we’re cool,” I told him, because I probably should have been more forthcoming about the whole Kate situation – at least with him. “I’ll call you this week.”

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to you this week,” Logan said, giving me a bro hug before I set off across campus, wondering when my life had gotten so complicated.

* * *

After my last class I headed to the gym to see if I could work out some of my frustrations and clear my head. The last thing I wanted was to get in another fight with Alyssa, and if I went in with accusations, she’d immediately go on the defensive. She didn’t like to talk about what she was feeling, much preferring denial or passive aggressive attempts to get others to come to a realization around what she was upset about. It was probably why we never really talked about anything serious. She changed the subject whenever I tried to have a meaningful conversation, or she tried to distract me with sex. And if she was pissed at something I’d done, I usually found it easier to just apologize.

In a year, we’d never had a heart-to-heart conversation about anything. The only reason I knew about her issues with her parents and the guys she’d dated before me was because she’d made seemingly flippant comments from time to time. Then when I tried to probe into the issue, she tried to change the subject. I’d gotten bits and pieces out a little at a time until I was able to put the full picture together, but she’d never come out and told me anything really personal. I knew she preferred to keep things lighthearted, and as much as I understood that, I also knew it wasn’t healthy. I should have been able to talk to my girlfriend about uncomfortable things and vice versa. And I didn’t feel like I could.

I left the gym, figuring I’d grab a shower and then text Alyssa that I wanted to talk. She had her chapter meeting – I was skipping mine – so she’d be tied up until eight, but I knew she’d be more than amendable to coming over after. And I could get in some studying beforehand.

It was after five when I got home, and as I was grabbing my backpack, I looked up and saw Kate walking toward me, looking like she was heading back from the gym in our complex. They only had a few cardio machines and one weight machine, so I rarely went there, much preferring to use the free weights at the gym on campus, but I knew she liked its proximity.

I waved to her as she got closer and waited for her to reach me.

“Looks like we had the same idea,” I told her when she was in earshot.

She smiled and subconsciously pulled her long sleeve t-shirt down, covering the strip of her toned stomach that had been showing as she’d walked toward me. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Then she started to head toward the steps that led to our apartments, so I followed her.

“Hey, so how are you?” I asked her. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was fine.”

Things felt a little chilly between us, like they had earlier in the day, and I wasn’t sure why.

“No work tonight?” I asked her, hoping that might get her talking.

“No, I’m off.”

“Cool. How about tomorrow night? Are you bartending?”

“I’m not sure,” she said as we reached the top of the stairs.

“What do you mean you’re not sure? You always know your schedule.”

What the hell was going on?

“No, I don’t. Sometimes it changes.”

“Okay, well, when will you know? Because if you’re working, I’ll come hang out with you.”

We’d reached my front door at that point, and part of me wondered if she’d give me a brief blow-off answer and head inside without another word. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she did that after how she’d been acting all day.

But Kate didn’t go to her front door. Instead she stopped and turned to face me, a stern look on her face. “Jack, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” I asked, starting to feel like she didn’t want me around, which was completely crazy after the weekend we’d had.

“Because it’s just not. In fact, it might be better if you didn’t come in to visit me at work anymore.”

“Is this because of what the assholes you work with said?” I asked her, getting pissed that she was reacting to their lies. “Because we both know you haven’t slacked off at all.”

Kate sighed. “It’s not that.”

“They why?”

“Because I think it might be better if we took a break.”

“A break? From what?”

What the hell was she talking about?

“From hanging out, seeing each other, you know.”

No, I didn’t know. Why would she ever want
that
?

“Because we haven’t been having any fun?” I asked sarcastically. “No, I know that’s not it. Or maybe it’s because it’s been so shitty getting to know each other again. Is that it? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Kate, why would you even say something like that?”

She sighed again. “I’ve just gotten caught up in getting to know you again, and it’s been fun – I’m not going to deny that – but I know it hasn’t been the best thing for everyone involved.”

“For
who
involved? For you? For me? Because I’m pretty sure we’re the only ones involved, and it’s been great for us.”

Kate gave me an exasperated look. “Jack, you know we’re not the only ones who’ve been affected by us reconnecting.”

“This is about Alyssa,” I said in realization, finally putting the pieces together.

After her display in class that morning, Kate was afraid she was coming between Lys and me. Well, fuck that. I didn’t want her to think that for a second. It wasn’t even close to the truth. If anything, Alyssa’s inability to trust me and open up to me were causing issues in our relationship. It was nothing Kate had done.

“It might have something to do with Alyssa,” Kate said noncommittally.

I shook my head in frustration. “She’s just my girlfriend. She doesn’t get a say in who I can and can’t be friends with.”

“Jack, she hates me, and she’s not going to make it easy for us to be friends. The last thing I want her doing is taking out her anger on me or someone close to me.”

“Someone close to you?” I questioned. “What does that mean?”

“Never mind,” Kate said quickly, turning away from me. “Let’s just take some time, and we’ll make plans to hang out in a few weeks.”

A few weeks?
Well, I wasn’t okay with that.

As Kate started to walk away from me, I grabbed her hand. “No,” I said quickly.

She looked surprised as she turned to face me, her gaze shifting to my hand in hers and then back to my face that probably looked confused and desperate. I hated that this was happening.

“Kate, come on, don’t push me away because you’re afraid that Alyssa’s going to do something. She’s not like that. She’s sensitive, and she lets things get to her, but she’s not vindictive.”

“I don’t know that, and I can’t take any chances.”

“Chances with what?”

She looked away, like she didn’t want to answer me.

“Kate, what’s going on?” I pleaded.

“It’s Sara,” she said when she met my gaze again.

“Sara?”

She sighed as she dropped her hand from mine. “She said Alyssa was sort of mean to her this weekend during the retreat, and she didn’t know why, but then later she overheard Alyssa talking about you and me. She said Alyssa was really upset and that she was under the impression that you were cheating on her with me.”

“I know,” I said around a sigh, frustrated that Kate had found out what Alyssa had assumed.

“You know that she was mean to my sister?”

“No,” I said quickly, because that was news to me. “I didn’t know about that, but I knew what she suspected. It’s what we fought about last night.”

“See, us hanging out isn’t good for anyone,” she said pointedly. “You’re fighting with your girlfriend, I’m caught in the middle, and my sister’s afraid she’s going to get kicked out of her sorority before initiation in two weeks. She’s panicked that Alyssa is going to take her anger out of her and make her life hell.”

“She won’t do that,” I assured her, not able to believe that Alyssa would stoop that low.

“You don’t know that, Jack,” Kate said, sounding sad. “And I can’t take any chances. Sara would be devastated to not become an AKPi.”

Of course she was putting Sara’s happiness before her own. She’d always done that.

“So, I’ll talk to Alyssa,” I told her. “I’ll make her see that she can’t take anything out on Sara. If she’s pissed, she can deal with me.”

“Please don’t,” Kate said, shaking her head. “You know that’s not going to help anything. It’ll just make things worse for Sara.”

I hated to admit that she was probably right.

“So you’re just going to take yourself out of the equation? We can’t be friends anymore because my girlfriend is irrationally jealous? I literally just told you on Saturday that I wanted us to be friends – real friends – and now you’re doing this?”

That pissed me off.

At least Kate looked unhappy about her decision as she said, “Well, it wasn’t my plan. I’ve honestly had the best time hanging out with you again, but after I saw how upset Sara was last night, I figured it would be for the best to put some distance between us. I don’t want to, but I think we should – at least until Sara’s initiation in two weeks.”

“So, this isn’t forever. It’s just for two weeks?” I asked, feeling hopeful for the first time in several minutes.

“Less if you think about the fact that their initiation is on a Friday night,” Kate said, giving me a small smile.

“You’re serious?”

“Jack, I’m not sure what else to do at this point. This is important to Sara.”

“So we can go back to hanging out again after she’s an AKPi sister?”

“I don’t see why not,” Kate said, shrugging. “No offense or anything, but
I
don’t exactly care if Alyssa likes me or not. I’m not going to let her dictate how I live my life in the long run.”

“I’ll talk to her,” I promised. “Not about Sara, but about us. I’ll figure out a way to tell her about our past and make her see that you’re not a threat. Maybe in time you guys will even be friends.”

Kate laughed. “I doubt that, but I can see from the frown on your face that it would be important to you if we were friends. So I’ll try – for you.”

“Don’t do it on my account, although it would definitely make things easier.”

“I’ll try,” she promised. “No guarantees, but I’ll make an effort if she will.”

“That really would mean a lot to me.”

Kate smiled. “I know. So I guess I’ll see you in class, and we can make plans for two weekends from now.”

It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was better than the alternative of her shutting me out forever. I guess anything was better than that.

“We’re going to do something fun,” I promised her, not yet sure what that fun thing was going to be, but I’d figure it out. “Take the weekend off work.”

“Take the weekend off? Isn’t that at little aggressive considering you don’t even know what we’re doing yet.”

I shook my head and smiled. “Not at all. Hell, maybe we’ll get a bunch of people together and go to Six Flags. Who knows, but I’d open your schedule.”

“You’re insane,” Kate said, shaking her head in amusement.

I shrugged. “I just like to have fun. So you’ll do it?”

“I’ll do it,” she said, rolling her eyes, and I reached out and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re the best.”

When her arms wrapped around me, hugging me back, I felt a sense of completeness I hadn’t felt in years. She was like home to me in so many ways. I had to figure out a way for Alyssa to be okay with us being friends. Since we’d been dating, we hadn’t really had a big talk, but maybe now it was time for one of those. We certainly needed to clear the air.

As I released Kate and said goodbye to her, I watched her walk to her door, unlock it and head inside, all the while wondering how in twenty-four hours my life had gone from awesome to confusing as hell.