Private Message (8 page)

I have no trouble getting into the bathroom; she didn't even lock the door. Seriously, these two girls need to learn a thing or two about privacy and safety…not that I am complaining tonight. Considering it was their bad decisions that got me where I am right now.

I eventually get her out of the small bathroom. I hear her begging for her redheaded friend to stay. I have to step up and attempt to be polite, offer to come by or get together another time…and thankfully the girl catches my drift and hightails out the door.

Before we even start to talk, she looks like she's about to pass out. I am able to reach her before she hits her hard floor. I swiftly scoop her up in my arms and walk her over to her couch and lay her down. Wow, she looks really pale. When she comes to I tell her to eat something. And man, I am a fool for offering her a banana…watching her slowly put the fruit in her mouth makes me think dirty, very dirty things...

I take notice of all the artwork and I can understand her screen name at Chatz: Punky_Painter. She certainly has a lot of talent. I am trying to study a few of them as we dance in her small apartment. She has a lot of depth and personality in them. A little insight on how amazing I am sure she is. I hope I get to see more of that in her.

At home I think back to the remainder of the night. The evening progressed a little faster than I imagined it would. I can't believe she let me kiss her. Her body is small and tight. Her skin was soft and smelled amazing. The moment I ran my hand down he side and up her legs, she had chills. She even blushed at the most innocent touches and soft kisses. I can't remember the last time a woman blushed while I touched her. That's probably because they have been desensitized.

When she admitted that she really was a virgin, I just couldn't believe it. A young woman like her…I would imagine she could have any guy that she wanted. But I knew she wanted me. It took every thread in my body to not bend her over that red couch of hers. But I don't want a one-nighter with this girl. No, I want much, much, more, and that scares the crap out of me.

I decided to take the late morning/early afternoon shift at the coffee shop. I have tickets to see one of my favorite bands tonight, and I want enough time to grab a bite to eat and get ready before James, my older brother by two years, picks me up. James and I have always been close. He always looked out for me, which wasn't always easy, with me sneaking out to go to rock shows in high school and for my drastic "different" style choices I had made back then. I figured a guy wouldn't want to get with me if I looked more alternative, if I didn't look like the rest of the girls in my school, they'd leave me alone. So, since I was in the ninth grade, James took it upon himself to go to every show with me. Except for one.

I can't seem to shake my nerves from last night with Ben. First, he's a cocky bastard who turns stalker, sweet talker, then sexy mother effer. My mind and body are still playing catch up. Well I better start getting ready for work.

The morning is hectic with people getting an early start to their day, seeing that it's sunny for once in Seattle. People are out and about shopping and just hanging out. I see a lot more couples it seems like since my last shift…Dave, my partner in barista crime, can sense that something's up but he doesn't say anything. In fact, he's pretty quiet today. Odd. At times he almost seems truly pissed off at me. I have to wonder why. It never seemed to bother him that much when I turned him down to go clubbing or just to hang out. Maybe he's going through a breakup with one of his many boyfriends. I hope one day one of these guys will come in to see Dave, so I can see what his taste really is. I mean, all the other baristas boyfriends or girlfriends come to visit them at work. Huh.

As things start to slow by two o'clock, three hours till my shift ends, my phone rings. It's him! Get your crap together, girl! "Hello?" I answer.

"Hey, it's Ben..." He pauses.

"Yeah, I kinda got that when your name came up on my screen," I say coyly.

He lets out a slight sigh. "Yeah, I didn't think about that…so how's your day going?" he asks, sounding distraught.

Smiling like a fool, I say, "Pretty good, busy. I am at work right now, but I get off in a few hours."

He chuckles.

"What did I say?" I ask.

"Oh nothing, don't worry about it," he laughs.

Completely dumbfounded, I retrace my words…
oh my God!

"Seriously?" I say a little louder than intended. "That you catch and find funny?"

"Hey, you said it, not me!" he defends himself.

Rolling my eyes, I say, "OK, OK, what do you want, other than to embarrass me in front of my co-workers and customers?"

"Oh baby, I could make you fall apart where you stand if I wanted to," he says matter-of-factly. And here come the heat waves.

I challenge him, "Oh, really? Is that so?" Yup, putting my big girl panties on. I walk to the back storage room.

He lets out a low growl. "Oh, you don't want me to do that while you're at work."

"I'm in the back room. Alone," I confess.

"Alone?" he asks.

"Uh huh," I nod my head.

"The things I want and will do to you..." He trails off. My knees go weak; I slip down to the floor with my back against a small row of metal lockers and bring them to my chest.

"When can I see you again?" he asks.

"Like I said, I have plans tonight, but tomorrow I am free. I have the day off of work."

His voice sounds a little more upbeat. "Call me when you get in tonight?"

"I am not sure when that will be," I tell him.

"Oh," and he's back to sad in a nanosecond. I cannot keep up, but he also doesn't need to know every inch of my life. I just met him, for cryin' out loud.

"Why don't you call me tomorrow afternoon?" I suggest.

"Sounds like a plan," he says, sounding a bit more chipper.

We say our goodbyes
hesitantly
on my end and I am back at the front counter getting death glares from Dave.
What?
I must have overshot my break…oops.

Three o'clock comes around and it's time to go home. Dave stops me in my tracks. "What was that all about earlier? Your head was in the clouds all morning, then you get this mysterious phone call, and now you're all googly-eyed."

"I'm sorry." I gather my belongings from the back room.

"You don't have to apologize, just wondering what's up with you the past few days, baby girl," he says, looking slightly worried.

I just glare at him, not really knowing what to say
I'm totally lusting over this nude model in my class in which he stalked my best friend and forced her to take him to my apartment, where we had an intense make-out session…
Yeah, I am thinking that might not come out sounding right.

"I'm good, really, don't worry about me," I say plainly.

"Mmm…hmm..." he says, clearly not believing me. "I'm going to ask again, like I always do, and maybe one day you'll say yes. Do you want to go out clubbing with me tonight? We can get all glammed up and hit the town, scout for hot boys." There is a beam of hope in his eyes.

I shake my head. "Not my kind of scene. I'd rather be home with my book boyfriend."

"I'll never get what you book sluts get out of a fictional man…" He shakes his head.

"Boys in books are better."

And that's that. I walk past him out of the back room, and out of the coffee shop, finally. It's been a long day with Ben on my mind, I just don't get him. As I am thinking about him yet again my back pocket buzzes. An incoming text from Ben:
Have a good time tonight…not too good of a time
;)

I snort, ha! He actually used a winky face? I just shake my head, return my phone to my back pocket, hop in my car, and drive home. James will be here in an hour so I better get ready and force some food down my throat. I don't seem to be very hungry today, not with my thoughts returning to Ben and his body, the way his mouth tastes on mine…it's the only thing I seem to be craving. Ugh! I need a cold shower!

As punctual as ever, James is here right on time. I love that about my brother; at least one of us can show up on time. He knocks on my door and I rush to let him in. His six-foot frame towers over me he wraps me as up into a big bear hug. It's crazy how he got all the height, but we have different mothers. Before I was born, my dad had cheated on my mom for a while, and eventually he came clean. They got divorced, my mom got full custody of me, and my dad ended up marrying his mistress.

I didn't find out that I had an older brother until I was about five years old. I started to have visits with my dad and his new family at that age. Up until that point I would cry about leaving my mom to go spend time with him because he was a total stranger to me. But once I met James we were attached at the hip. I started asking to go to my father's more often just so I could spend time with James. He was a cool big brother who didn't whine when I asked him to play Barbies or have tea parties. He wanted to make me happy. As I got older and began self-exploration, I found rock music and the feelings it provoked in me, the security and passion I felt then and still have now. I began to dress a little more alternative than the kids at my school, and that opened up the doors for bullies. Once James got wind of that, well, let's just say I didn't have any more problems at school. On the outside he looks like Kellen Lutz, a big ol' teddy bear in my eyes, but to someone who's about to receive a good beating. He's pretty damn intimidating.

I started going out at night to go to these rock shows alone, not having many friends, so alone was my only option. Mom didn't like the idea of rock concerts, and she hated the idea of me going to them by myself. So she put her foot down and said no altogether. I just went out my bedroom window. I was about fifteen when I started doing that, and one night James was at the same small show I was, and he flipped out! Telling me how dangerous it was for a small young girl like me to be out alone at night, with drunken assholes all around me. The problem was that I didn't even notice anyone else when I was at a show. Once the music starts, I am consumed whole. So from that night on, whenever I wanted to go to a show he made me promise to take him along, for precaution. I love my big brother more than anyone.

"So are you ready, Tessy? Or do you need another half hour as usual?"

I stick my tongue out at him. "No, for once, I think I am good."

His eyebrows shoot up in shock. "Seriously? So does that mean we can head out a few minutes early and grab a bite to eat? I haven't had a chance yet, and I really fucking hate cheap venue food."

I grab my small black purse and my red Kodak easy shot camera and we walk out the door.

"So, where are you stashing that thing tonight? Or do I not want to know?" My brother only knows me too well. He knows that I will probably stick my camera in my bra to get past security. I'll be damned if I can't get any pics of this show! The band is freaking amazing!

"No, you don't," I tell him with a laugh.

He just drops his head and shakes it.

We decide to just do the whole drive-thru thing tonight since doors open in twenty minutes, and I like to rush to the front to get front and center to the action. The line isn't really all that bad, but I take notice that they are all wearing coats and will probably stop at coat check, ha! One step ahead! I didn't wear a jacket! Dumbasses. We get in and of course I am right, so I grab James's hand and run to the front of the stage. James takes his typical stance behind me to keep other fans from thrashing into me and to block any crowd surfers. He's my personal bodyguard.