Private Message (11 page)

I tell him, and he replies:
OK, well, have a good night. Call me in the morning x.
Oh, I'll have a good night thinking about him, and what we did the other night, and all the things I hope to do to him in the very near future.

Almost instantly after, my phone rings, I look at the caller ID; it's Erin.

"Where have you been? It's like you dropped off the grid or something!" She sounds exasperated.

"I am sorry. I have been...occupied." I can feel my cheeks go pink instantly.

"OH? What could be more important than calling your new best friend, huh?" She's trying to sound wounded, but instead I can hear the intrigue in her voice.

"Uh, yeah…I have been working and I went to this show with my brother…and got together with Ben..." I trail off.

"BEN? I knew it!" She is screaming at me, actually screaming, right now.

I'm rubbing my forehead with the left hand, just taking it all in. "Why didn't you call me? Text me? Anything!"

"I am so sorry, but I am trying to comprehend all of this myself."

She grumbles. "Meet me at Chatz in ten minutes. I know where you work and I will come kidnap you if I have to!"

Fifteen minutes later, I spot Erin in the far corner, where there is a grouping of deep purple sofas facing one another. She is chatting it up with a beefy blond guy in a three-piece suit; he obviously just left work himself. She looks up and greets me with a hug.

Erin introduces me to the beefcake. "Mark is an ad exec at Pillars Advertising." She spews lust as she says the words.

"Impressive." I try to sound intrigued, but I honestly don't give a shit. I am tired and cranky from a long day and night at work. But I will stay for one drink and make my way home.

When I reach the bar I see a small dark nook at the end. There's a blonde woman looking quite comfy on a man's lap. They aren't kissing, but she is obviously trying to nuzzle the man's neck. As I reach for my drink, they stand. And my heart sinks. The leggy blonde is leading Ben towards the door. My way.

Fuck! What the hell do I do? Confront the man who I was intimate with just over forty-eight hours ago? Or do I hide like a shamed little girl? I take a large chug from my drink, which sparks a howl from the bartender, obviously impressed. And that brought some looks my way. Well, if I had a chance of backing down before, I definitely don't now. Shit.

I stiffen my back and face the oncoming pair, face first. And the look on his face is fucking priceless.

"Tess!" he gasps.

Son of a bitch. "Ben."

"Um, what are you doing here? Didn't you just get off work? I figured you'd be home by now." He sounds nervous, as he should be.

Not that it's any of his business, but: "Erin called me after you texted me and begged me to come tonight."

He looks into the lounge and nods when he spots Erin. She is still talking up the beefcake. He looks back at the leggy blonde, who has her slutty hand holding his arm. "This is Nicole."

He looks me dead in the eyes like he's trying to tell me something, but I must be missing something, that or the rum I just downed is killing my brain's cells at record pace. He's never spoken about a girl by name before so I am not getting this little message he's trying to send me.

"Hi." I say, trying not to give her the look of death. I don't know why I am so angry. It's not like he's mine. But then again he asked me to be his…yeah, which number on the list? Then I am brought back to our conversation the other night, how he wants me to trust him.
Well, buddy, you have a fat chance in hell of that happening now.
And that hurts me. It hurts real bad. I was beginning to trust him.

"Would you mind giving me a minute?" he asks the bimbo.

She nods, and tries to kiss him, but he turns his face away avoiding her cotton candy glittery lips. She looks pissed and not so much at him, but me, because as soon as he dodged her glossy pucker she eyes me and looks back to Ben. "Yeah, whatever. Don't take too long."

Then she's off toward the restroom.

"What the fuck?" I spurt out before he can speak. He has to know I am pissed and that he better protect those family jewels, because they are about to meet the top of my kneecap.

He reaches out to touch my cheek, and this time I dodge him. "I can explain," he pleads. Yeah, I have heard that so many times in so many movies. He's about to tell me that she's the love of his life that got away and has suddenly returned, and his heart has been and will always be with her. OK, maybe I shouldn't watch so many movies or the CW...

"Then explain."

He shifts on his feet. "Not here. Will you come back to my place with me?" Now, that I did not expect to come out of his sexy mouth.

"What about 'Nicole'?" I mimic his light English accent. Yep, too much rum, too fast.

He steps closer. "What about her?"

As I am about to talk he takes a small sidestep to get the attention of the bartender. "You're just going to leave without a word?" I wait. Why am I being thoughtful of the skeez?

He leans in over the bar to tell the bartender something, so I wait.

"I left a message for her with Ron there," he says, while grabbing my elbow and leading me toward the doors.
Shit! Erin!

"Hold on! I have to tell Erin that I am leaving or she'll worry."

He looks back at where Erin is sitting "I don't think so." He says and shoots his chin in her direction. I look over and she's practically straddling the beefcake.

"OK" I say, and he leads me out of the bar.

When we get outside, I whip out my cell and text Erin a quick message:
Something came up have to go, I'll call you in the morning
. Ben leads me to the back parking lot of Chatz. Which car is his?

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

"Of course you drive a motorcycle," I say.

He grins, and my insides melt.
NO! You cannot make me fall apart like this! Not after what I saw you and that bimbo were doing in that dark corner!
He hands me a helmet.
Oh, here we go, what am I getting myself into?
I take it from his hands and our fingertips touch and I can feel that spark of intensity. Still trying to be angry, I take the helmet from his hand a little too hard and accidentally kinda throw it to the ground.
Yeah, that's the way to look tough Tess…

Laughing, he bends down to pick up the helmet, and yes, I'll admit I checked out his ass. What's wrong with me? Fucking rum. This time, instead of handing me the helmet, he places it on my head gently. He throws one on his head next and throws down the visor, swings his right leg over the black seat, holds out one arm. "Get on," he demands, with a little force.

I roll my eyes and get on the bike behind him. I have never been on a bike before. I am nervous and yet excited to have to sit so close to him. I try to resist and sit as far back as I can. I lightly hold his ribs. When he kicks on the machine, the vibrations make me all tingly between my legs and I am not complaining! He reaches down with both hands grips the back of my knees and pulls me in closer behind him. That, mixed with the shaking between my thighs, makes me think I might come right then and there.

"That's better." He kicks into gear and soon we are speeding through the lighted city. I can feel my nails digging into his chest, but that doesn't seem to slow his speed; hell, I'd say it's probably turning him on. Soon, we're in a parking garage, and he's

leading me to an elevator. He presses the top floor button: '
PH'
for penthouse. Of course he lives in the penthouse.

A moment later we're inside.

Whoa. For a dude's place this is pretty damn nice. Much, MUCH, nicer than my tiny studio. We walk in through the small foyer to an open floor plan studio suite. Tall ceilings and a wall of windows, overlooking the Seattle skyline. His walls are all different colors: white, deep red, and a single black wall holding a collection of guitars and basses.

He offers me a drink. I decline. He shrugs and gets a beer. I'm impatient.

"So you wanted to explain. Explain." I gesture with my hand to urge him on.

He looks ashamed. "I know it's not a good excuse, but I was pretty buzzed and kinda-sorta horny from our texts all day and I was having a hard time shoving her off."

What an ass
. "If I wasn't there, would you have brought her here or went to her place?" I say with as much force as I can push, but my breath is taken away from me. I am actually holding back some tears. No. I will not cry about a guy I know nothing about. Not shed a tear for a man who has probably slept with every woman in Seattle.

He looks down at his feet and lifts his eyes to mine. "No."

"Yeah, I bet!" I yell.

"I mean it, Tess. I wasn't going to go anywhere with her. I was leading her out to her car when I saw you."

"But, you two looked nice and cozy in that corner and she was holding your arm when you were walking out, I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure a girl that looks like that doesn't take rejection very well." I know I sound snide.

He runs his hands through his midnight hair and that's all I want to be doing right now. Yes, despite what's taking place right now. My body seems to have a mind of its own lately. "So let me get this straight, this girl that means nothing to you jumps you in a bar and you let her kiss your neck and then you are able to escort her out without a single lash-out from the bimbo?"

Oops that slipped out…

His eyebrows shoot straight up. "Bimbo?" he asks with a grin.

"Yes. Bim-Bo." I enunciate each syllable.

He looks impressed now. Why?

"Well, she is one." He laughs. "Look, I do know her, but it's not what you think at all."

"I honestly don't know what to think right now, Ben. You're going to have to fill me in here or I am walking out of that door."

"It's not really a story I can tell without telling you a little more about myself first." He pauses, considering his next words. "Which is something I don't do with anyone. I figure it's no one's business." He says sternly and shuts off. He stops and thinks for another moment. I can feel some tension.

"I first moved here from London with my father and baby sister when I was fifteen." He's opening up to me.

"My mum had died when I was ten. She passed away giving birth to my baby sister Caroline." He swallows hard, and I can tell he's reliving the crushing scene in his mind.

"My mum was an amazing woman. My dad cherished her and treated her like the queen she was. She was a classic beauty, kind and fair. She always smelled like flowers. She loved to garden so she spent a lot of time out in the yard. She had me out there helping her all the time. I didn't care if it wasn't the normal 'boy' thing to do, I loved my mum and any time spent with her was great." He's smiling at the sweet memory.

"But, what I think hurt the most was that Caroline would never know our mother the way I was able to. She wasn't going to have a mum to look up to. To play dress up or have tea parties. No mother to teach her how to wear makeup and just about being a young lady." I can see tears begin to fill his eyes, and I can't keep my own from shedding. He reaches up and wipes my tears with his thumbs, caressing my face.

"I have always looked out for my baby sister. She is my whole world." He chuckles. "Hell, I even played dolls with her and tried to fill in for my mom as much as I could.

"My father was offered a job here in Seattle shortly after my mother's death. We all agreed that a fresh start would be ideal. So he took the job and here we are."

I finally speak up. "And what does that have to do with what I saw at the bar?" His story touches my heart, it really does, but I need to know why he can demand I be
his,
and yet I catch him with another woman.

Looking up from his dropped head, he looks me in the eyes. "Look, she isn't anything to me. Only a part of my past I want to forget. She came in looking for, after I sent her an email telling her I didn't want to hear from her again. I am sorry you had to see that. She's just persistent."

"One of your one night stands?" I hiss out.

"No."

Sensing his anger, I watch what I say. I think for a moment. "Just tell me this then. When we spoke the other night you mentioned that you didn't until as of more recently started man slutting. Is she one of the reasons why you lost it?"

He nods. His eyes begging me to drop it and I will…for now. "You were saying about your family?" I ask, trying to calm him back down.

Ben shakes his head. "So, my dad, he told my sister and me that no one could ever compare to our mother. He has dated a few women. Honestly, I think he just dates them to try and fill some empty void. He never gets too close."

"You said you've never talked about this with anyone. Why me?"

He looks me in the eye. "There's just something about you, Tess. I feel like I can tell you anything and you won't turn around and spread my business or use it against me. That's also why I brought you here, to show you."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

He waves his hand. "I have never brought anyone here other than my father and sister."

Oh.

I can feel my cheeks go red. "Why, though? You seem to be such a private person and you haven't known me for more than a week."

He takes my hands and brings them to his mouth. Kisses my knuckles softly and I can see the gears in his head turning.

"What it is? I can see that you're thinking about something."

"I don't know if it's appropriate." He looks uneasy.

I give him a little coy smile. "Ben, when have you been appropriate with me?"

He smiles that panty-dropping smile that I first saw, that first night at Chatz. "It's just a personal question that I want to ask. And I don't want to turn you off."

OK, that's not going to happen. "That's just not possible, Ben. You could never turn me off."

He closes his eyes for a second and a low deep sensual groan escapes his slightly parted lips. "Tess," he says, and with that one word, that one breath, I feel my panties getting moist.

I bit my bottom lip, holding back my own groan. "Ask me whatever you want Ben."