Private Message (12 page)

He exhales in a rush and straightens his body so he's facing me completely. "Do you touch yourself, Tess?" WHOA! Where did that come from? He said personal, but that, that's
personal…

My cheeks flush and I drop my head. I have never spoken about sex with anyone, not even my own mother. It wasn't a normal thing to talk about. I didn't even have any girlfriends in high school to talk to about this stuff. Only Erin, and I just met her the same time I met Ben. Now that girl is a horn-dog.

"Why do you want to know?"

He leans in closer and places his mouth closer to my ear. I can feel his ragged breath and I almost jump when he whispers, "Because I am hoping to be the first and
only
person inside of you."

Oh god. I am going spontaneously combust.

"So, have you or have you not, ever put your fingers inside of yourself?" he has no shame.

I can't even think. My head is spinning from his words. All I can get out is a barely audible "no."

And then his mouth is on mine. Hot. Hard and needy. I reach up and twist my fingers through his hair, trying to pull him closer, but I can't seem to get close enough.

Fuck this!

I push his chest back until he fumbles onto his black leather couch. I throw one leg over his lap and I straddle him. My chest heaves with uneven breathes. He holds my hips for a few moments and runs then up my ribs, then back down to reach up under my shirt. He undoes my bra, then lifts my shirt over my head. Before I can even lean forward to keep kissing his amazing mouth, it's on my left breast. He kisses it at first, then licks the tip of my nipple, and I can't help but moan…loudly. I can feel his smile against the skin of my breast. With that he stands, but keeps my legs wrapped around his waist. He starts kissing my neck as he lifts me up and carries me past the kitchen and heads down the small hallway I noticed before. He kicks open a door and walks in backwards.

He lays me down on what I am assuming is a bed and stands in front of me, eyeing me. I can't stop looking at him. He removes his own shirt, to reveal his slim toned shoulders and chest, and I can see the magnificent tattoos that cover his whole arm. He starts to undo the button on his jeans.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything you don't want me to. All you have to do is say stop and I will." I know I can trust him. I don't know how, but I can. And trust doesn't come easy for me.

I give him a little nod and he continues to unzip his pants. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband and slowly starts to pull them down, leaving his boxers. He drops them to the floor and steps out of them. He surely is a glorious sight.

He grabs the back of my knees and pulls me to the edge of the bed. He begins to undo the buttons of my jeans. He doesn't stop to seek permission, because we have made it this far before. He rids me of my pants and panties in one shot. I am now completely naked. Feeling brave, I sit up right in front of him, inches away from his concealed arousal. I lick my lips and I reach forward for his shorts. He takes a tiny step back, which shocks me.

"What?" I ask him.

He sighs. "If I let you touch me, I will go mad."

Oh, that's hot.

I once again reach for his shorts and he sucks in a tight breath. Careful not to touch his erection, I pull them down slowly. I watch his eyes the whole time and he looks down into mine. I can see his desire for me; it makes me feel brave. I stare at his intimidating size.

Amusement is in his voice. "Don't worry. When the time comes, it won't be as bad as you think." He makes it sound like I am a porcelain doll and he's afraid of breaking me. Well, news flash.
I am tougher than you think.

"Oh I don't think it'll be bad. I know it'll be amazing, and remember, I have already seen it." I wink.

"Then maybe I'll enforce a no-touching policy then?"

"Well, I would break all the rules, then." I retort, then mouth "
rebel
" while pointing at myself. I reach out for him and before he can move away I have my hand wrapped around his stone-hard length. His groan is almost a growl. At first it sounds almost like he's angry. I can feel the vibrations from his tone go right between my legs. He grabs my wrist and pulls me up.

"What did I say would happen if you touched me?" he growls. Holy crap. Should I be turned on or should I be scared?

He runs his right hand down my ribs, then to my hips and stops below my belly button. Less than an inch away. "Spread your legs," he orders. And I do it.

He moves his hand between my fold and slides over my slick clit. Rubbing me gently, he nips at my neck, and then he's laying me back down on to his bed. He lays to my left and keeps rubbing me. I can feel my body start to tense and then he stops. WHY?

I let out a soft whimper.

"That's just for starters, baby," he whispers. "I want to be your first. It's all I can think about since you told me you were a virgin." I reach again for his erection, and this time he doesn't pull away. For the first time, I stroke a penis. It's hard and smooth, almost velvety. I start to move a little faster and he groans again. His eyes shoot open and he once again grabs my wrist.

"Fuck. I have never been so close so quick. What is it about you?" He sounds bewildered.

I shrug and give a small smile.

"Oh, baby, I am nowhere near ready to end this so quickly." And he reaches between my legs and my body floods with excitement as his fingers pass my small mound, and he's at my opening. My chest starts to pound, nervous and excited all at once. He looks into my eyes, and I nudge my hips up to meet his fingers and he slips one inside.

Holy...

No pain, just all sensation. He slowly goes in and out, making me wetter as he does. And he gradually introduces a second finger, and that's all it takes. I am convulsing with pleasure. He keeps up his pace while going in and out, then with his thumb presses on my clit. Heaving for a deep breath I begin to let down. And then he pulls out. He licks his fingers. I blush and look away.

"Does that bother you?" he asks softly.

"I don't know. It's just odd for me, that's all. All of this is so new for me."

He nods his head and lies next to me. "Oh, it gets better. So much better."

"I thought that was pretty fucking amazing." He laughs. Then a thought occurs to me. "What about you? This is the second time you haven't gotten anything." Feeling guilty.

"I want to please you, and by doing so it pleases me. You don't have to worry," he tells me, but I have to wonder: If he's not getting it from me, then is he getting it somewhere else?

"But you have needs, and this cannot be enough for you. Do you see someone else after you leave me?" I am afraid of his answer.

"No. No Tess, you're the one I want to be with, even if that means a cold shower after we part ways, or a solo job." And I get all hot again, just imagining him in the shower, pumping himself. And then I get a little brave again...

"Do you think about me?" I can't believe I just asked that. But, hey, I want to know.

"Yes." He breathes.

Oh. My.

I wake up in Ben's bed. I look around for a clock; it's after three o'clock in the morning. I roll over to see if Ben was asleep, but he wasn't there. I sit up, wrap the black sheet around me, and head out to the main living area. The room is dimly lit, by the city lights beaming through the large windows. I find him sitting on the sectional with his back to me, holding what looks like a bass guitar. His back is bare and all of his muscles look defined from the way he's holding the bass. He has it plugged into a small amp and the volume is down so low I can barely hear it from the hallway. I quietly tiptoe over to him, not wanting to mess him up or startle him. He's playing a slow tune, nothing I recognize. I walk around one side of the sofa and sit down next to him. He looks over to me and smiles, but doesn't stop playing.

"Did I wake you?" he asks.

"No, I woke up probably knowing I wasn't in my own bed." He nods and smiles.

"Not too many people play the bass. Most want to play the cool guitar." I wink.

"Well, I make the bass look cool."

"No, more like dreamy and sexy as hell."

He sets the bass down and that's when I notice that he has his black boxer briefs back on. Bummer.

He strides to the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

My stomach growls, giving me away.

He smiles and reaches into the fridge. Pulls out a few different Tupperware containers, filled with God knows what. "OK, I have spaghetti and meatballs, baked chicken, roasted garlic potatoes and vegetable lasagna." He lists off.

"Vegetable lasagna, please, and did you cook all of this yourself?" Nothing is sexier than a man who can cook.

He looks proud. "Yep. With mom gone and dad at work most nights, it was either Maria the maid slash nanny slash cook, which all she knew was mac 'n' cheese or how to dial a phone for takeout. So I learned how to cook. Really wasn't that hard. Added bonus that I learned I enjoyed it too."

He throws the container in the microwave, then grabs a bottle of wine and two stem glasses. "Do you like Moscato?"

"It's my favorite, actually." I take a small sip, of the cold refreshing liquid. I lick my lips to savor it, and I notice Ben watching me intently with thumb at his mouth nibbling the tip. Hot.

Moments later, he dishes out the food, and sits next to me at the breakfast bar. "So, I told you about my family drama. What's your story?"

"Not much of one," I begin. "Dad cheated on my mom when I was a baby, they got divorced. He married the other woman, and years later we found out he already had a son with her. Hence the brother you 'met' at the show. Mom raised me alone with little help from my dad, never knew I had a brother for a while. When we did meet, we became inseparable."

Ben nods that he understands, and I know he does. I know what Caroline means to him. I go on. "I went to school, shows, painted, taught myself how to use a camera. Got a job at the coffee shop after high school, took a few years off, saved up some money, and am now taking a few classes over at the community college, which you know."

He stares at me, wide-eyed. Ha!

"See, not so exciting," I say.

"It's your life. It's exciting to me." Wow, he knows how to lay it on thick.

We finish our meal and I get dressed. I ask him to take me home, because I have a late morning shift at the coffee shop. Ben excuses himself to take a quick shower. Oh, how I'd love to jump him in there one day. I take a closer look at the wall I noticed last night. The one covered on guitars and basses. As I look closer, they are all autographed! And by some of my favorite bands: Good Charlotte, Maroon 5, Shinedown, Three Days Grace and a whole lot freaking more! He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"These are amazing!" I burst out.

"I'm glad they impress you."

"You impress me, Ben." I lean my head and look up at him. Yeah, he's smiling too.

"Well, if you aren't busy tomorrow night, I am covering the Maroon 5 show and, well, I can easily get an extra pass..."

Before he can even finish, I screech, "YES!" and I literally jump up and down with excitement. I don't care how lame I look right now!

He is full-on laughing right now, and his hefty laugh is intoxicating with his accent. Oh my...

"Well, I see that you are excited, but there's one more little thing."

"What?" I drag out the word.

"You bring your Canon."

I scream. I let out the most ear-piercing fan girl scream. "Seriously?" I look at him, wide-eyed.

"Seriously, I know you want to use a good camera at a show for once. And being with me you can get up close and personal." He explains.

Oh. I am. In. love.

"Hey, since you threw me on your bike last night, I need to be taken back to Chatz to pick up my car."

He runs his left hand through his glorious midnight hair, gives me a sly smile. "Yeah, I would say sorry about that, but I'm really not."

I just shake my head and start out of his place. When we get back to the bars parking lot it's empty. Not something I am used to seeing at Chatz, but then again it is early morning. Ben jumps off his bike and helps me off of the mean machine, my legs still shaking from the violent vibrations, that and squeezing Ben between my thighs.