Pretending Hearts (10 page)

“This is the first time I’ve seen this, so I have no idea if the story is true or not,” I said coolly.

Fallon snickered. “Look how she’s trying to deflect.”

I ignored Fallon. Acknowledging her would only give her more power. “What do you want to know, Georgie?”

“Everyone is saying that your father was Autumn Dorey’s teacher and he tried to rape her. While he was in jail, she hooked up with your brother.” Georgie cast her eyes heavenward and complained, “It sounds like the plot of a trashy soap opera.”

I crossed my arms in front of my body. “Who is 'everyone'? And how is this any of your business?”

“Are you fucking serious? You introduced your rapist dad to me! He was in my room! I could be a freaking target now for all I know,” she said in an affronted tone.

“I’m sure in the thirty seconds he was here, you were in grave danger,” I said evenly.

“And look how you’re acting now! You don’t even feel bad about keeping the fact your father went to jail for attempted rape from me!” she shouted. If our floor wasn’t aware of the scandal then, they were after Georgie’s explosion. I’d made a few casual acquaintances among the floormates and hoped for them to become eventual friends. With the freak-branding from Georgie, I doubted anyone would speak to me again.

“I don’t feel bad?” I demanded. “I feel bad every single day. Every day I have to deal with the accusations against my father. Every day I have to deal with my brother believing our father is guilty. Every day I have to deal with the fact my brother fell in love with the girl who tore apart my family.”

Georgie and Fallon didn’t seem moved by my outburst. I was to be held accountable for the things Blake and my dad had done. I never had a say in the choices they made, but that didn’t matter. My unbreakable blood bond was enough to put me forever out of favor with Georgie.

Georgie opened up her mouth to reply, but stopped because of a sound at the door. Because I seemed to be cosmically cursed, Wyatt had to enter the room at that very second.

His face was grave and I realized he wasn’t about to be blindsided. He’d already been told about my family. Georgie rushed past me and crashed into Wyatt’s chest. His cold eyes were locked on mine as he put his arms around her. I supposed he didn’t care I was the one who could really use a hug after the shit storm I walked into.

Wyatt’s expression was grim. “I’ve gotten about twenty texts in the last fifteen minutes. This shit about your dad and brother is all over campus.”

Wyatt waited and I wondered if he expected me to respond. What was the appropriate way to act? Inside, I was falling to pieces. Not only did the story unglue my newly constructed life at Cook, but my father and brother would have to handle being the subject of media scrutiny once again.

We had gone through hell four years ago when Autumn first accused my dad. At the time, she was a junior in high school and my dad was her math teacher. My father said they had an affair, but Autumn went to the cops and claimed my dad sexually assaulted her and would’ve raped her if she hadn’t escaped. The media latched onto the salacious details of a teacher targeting a young and beautiful cheerleader. The story got even more attention when Autumn’s former friends leaked suggestive photos of her. The pictures were of the soft porn variety and cast doubt on her story.

I loved my father. I never wanted to mistrust the man who pushed me on our tire swing and taught me how to catch fireflies.

Wyatt released Georgie. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on, so maybe you can help me out, Del.” I tensed at the nickname I only allowed my brother to use. “Your father is a rapist and your brother went in for seconds?”

“Fuck you,” I breathed.

In a single sentence, Wyatt had made his stance clear. There would be no happily ever after for him and me. There would be no compassion for the impossible situation I’d found myself in.

“Why would Autumn date the son of the guy who molested her? That is beyond sick,” Fallon said.

“I’m not living with a girl whose dad has been in jail for a sex crime,” Georgie declared. “I know the deadline for a room change has already passed, but they’ll have to make an exception.”

“No need. I’m leaving,” I said flatly.

I opened my drawers and started pulling out random articles of clothing. I piled the clothes on top of my bed before grabbing a duffel bag I had stored in the closet. Wyatt came up next to me and his hand at my elbow stilled my movements. I looked at him and hoped for the impossible. I wished for him to be different. I wished for him to not be like the boys in high school who treated me like I was never good enough.

“You know who my dad is. Were you really going to let me introduce you to them without telling me about your father?” he hissed. “My family can’t be tied to that kind of scandal. You would’ve ruined my career before I even got started.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, you’ve ruined my sex life for the past month, so consider us even.”

"Bitch," Wyatt mumbled under his breath, but I ignored the slur. He wanted to break me and he had no idea how strong of a shell I had in place at times of crisis.

I shoved a few more things into my duffel and then gathered up my textbooks. I had no idea where I was going, but once I packed what I considered essentials, I pushed past the trio of sanctimonious accusers. I could feel the tears begging for release, but I wouldn’t give Wyatt and Georgie the satisfaction of making me cry.

“I considered you a friend, Delia and I feel completely betrayed,” Georgie sniffed, and I almost laughed in disbelief. I felt transported back in time to when I found out about Autumn and Blake. The feeling was reminiscent of being trapped in an alternate reality.

“Don’t call me,” Wyatt said. “We’re done.”

“Do you mean I don’t get to be your cum dumpster anymore, Wyatt?” I pouted exaggeratedly, sticking out my lower lip and holding the mocking pose with every bit of my willpower. “I’ll try to pull through this difficult time.” Although I was fighting an internal battle to not fall apart, my voice held strong.

Wyatt made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. Fallon put a hand on his shoulder while narrowing her eyes at me. “Don’t worry, she’s finished at this school.”

I refused to respond to Fallon’s clichéd mean-girl act and waltzed out of the room with my head held high. I wouldn’t fight to be part of their world. I had seen what lay beneath their polished exterior and there was nothing of value.

The main problem with my dramatic exit: I had nowhere to go. Without a car, I was stuck on campus. Furthermore, the only two friends I had made on campus had just labeled me persona non-grata. My lone option seemed to call my parents for help. But the thought of calling them in the midst of another media scandal left a sour taste in my mouth.

Although I resembled a bag lady, I made my way over to the college library. I could feel the stares as I hiked down the pathways, but I really hoped the gawking had nothing to do with the public shaming of my brother’s relationship. I gained a certain celebrity for being Blake’s sister which had the potential to backfire into notoriety. 

The library was open late for students and was a place to regroup until I figured out what the hell I planned to do. A part of me wanted to tell Georgie to screw herself, but I had no desire to return back to the dorms. Georgie, Fallon and Wyatt made enough of a toxic environment that the mere idea of going back onto my floor made my chest tight to the point where I found it almost impossible to breathe.

What to do?
I asked myself as I pushed through the library doors. I refused to leave Cook. Maybe I’d been mistaken to choose my brother’s school as the place to start over, but I was the type of girl who stuck to her convictions. I prided myself on not being wishy-washy—a potential shortcoming since I had stuck with Wyatt despite my inner alarm bells telling me he was probably a douche.

I wondered how my brother was holding up. With my brother in the NFL, the story of his scandalous relationship with Autumn would be far-reaching. My calls to him on the way to the library were unsuccessful with his phone going straight to voicemail. I wondered if he was forced to turn his phone off to avoid reporters looking to do a follow-up piece. If the media got through to him, they would be met with a stone wall. My brother would never be the type of person to write a tell-all or share the intimate details of his life. He was a private person and although he loved football, he hated the celebrity that went along with playing professionally.

Blake should’ve guessed any reporter would latch onto the scandalous tale of how Autumn and he came together. The outrageous part was the media didn’t know half of the story. They didn’t know Blake and Autumn meeting on campus was a coincidence and at first, Autumn had no clue who Blake was. According to Blake, she was oblivious to the fact that the boy she was falling in love with was the stepson of the man she accused of sexual assault. Blake had used her ignorance to get close to her, to find out if she had lied about our dad. But my brother somehow fell for her. I could concede she was pretty—a girl-next-door type. Yet, no girl was beautiful enough to not be held accountable for her mistakes.

    Once inside the library, I found an empty study lounge on the second floor. My shoulders ached as I removed my bags and set them on the floor next to the table and chairs. I shut the door, hoping for a few hours of privacy to sort out my thoughts.

I pulled out my laptop, but stopped with my finger poised over the power button. I needed a social media breather. Going online would mean I’d spend the next couple of hours sifting through the hundreds of posts, blogs and tweets dedicated to Blake and Autumn.

My homelessness would also have to be dealt with later. I had a paper due the next day and I had to make academics my priority. I didn’t care what Georgie and Fallon thought. I wouldn’t be done at Cook because they deemed it so.

My philosophy paper took a couple of hours to complete and once I had the final copy saved, I closed my laptop. After putting the laptop away in the case, I put my head down on the cool surface of the wooden table. My mind and body were exhausted. I had so much to figure out and I was resisting. But I had options. I wasn’t penniless. My brother had opened up an account in my name and deposited a significant sum to cover college expenses. Yet, I suspected he didn’t put in enough money to finance a new place to live.

I considered calling my mother. Although she was usually the source of my problems, I knew she’d sweep in and bring me back home. I could go back to Clark and regroup and figure out my next move. She’d insist there was no shame in leaving.

I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing. I wouldn’t allow Wyatt and Georgie to break me. Blake had faith in me and I didn’t want to let him down. He believed I could get a degree and be something more than a pretty face. Wyatt had distracted me from my goals, making me believe my mother had a point and college was for husband hunting. But I didn’t want a relationship a month ago and I should only feel relief my romance with Wyatt had fizzled as quickly as it did.

As I began drifting off, I welcomed sleep. Hopefully, my dreams would give me a reprieve from what had turned into a nightmarish day. Maybe when I awoke, all of my problems would magically resolve themselves.

The sound of a doorknob turning jolted me awake. I gave myself a mental shake to ward off the remnants of sleep. The study room was windowless and I had no idea how long I’d been passed out. I glanced down at my watch and cringed when I noticed the time. It was a quarter after one in the morning. The library had closed over an hour ago.

The door of the study room opened and a guy about my age stepped through the doorway. I took in his dark blue jeans and navy collared work shirt along with the cleaning caddy in his hands and immediately came to the conclusion he was a maintenance worker for the college.

He startled at the sight of me. “Hi, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” His voice echoed through the halls of the empty and silent library. 

I looked past him out into the library’s main hall. The lights were dimmed and the staff and students had cleared out. I moved my gaze back to him and gave an uncomfortable smile. “Sorry, I was sleeping.”

Instead of making a move to clear out my belongings, I took a minute to study him. He was tall with a slender frame. His dark brown hair wasn’t gelled and sprayed into a particular style—the method Wyatt had used to achieve his look. Instead, the stranger’s hair was longer on the top, shorter on the sides, and he looked as if he merely ran his hand through it to get ready. I met his eyes and I couldn’t distinguish if they were brown or green. They seemed to change color based on the direction he looked and I came to the conclusion they must’ve been hazel. My head was a mess, but I’d have to be sightless not to notice how good-looking he was.

“It’s not a problem, but you should get going,” he said and leaned into the doorframe. He grazed his teeth across his full lower lip before adding, “It’s late. Do you want me to call security to give you a ride back to the dorms?”

“I have nowhere to go,” I whispered and reading his nametag, I addressed him, “Levi.” I was trying to appeal to him on a personal level in hopes he wouldn’t toss me out on my ass.

His eyes softened and his expression for some reason made me want to cry. I hadn’t cried the entire day. But Levi’s pity-filled expression made me want to curl up into a ball and sob until my tears ran dry.