Plain Peace (A Daughters of the Promise Novel) (33 page)

“Now,
Daadi
,” Anna said. “
Mammi
did take down most of her decorations and trinkets. I think it’s a nice compromise.”

Her grandfather pointed to the cuckoo clock on the kitchen wall as he took his place at the head of the table. “That bird makes me jump every time it bursts out of that—”

“Hello, Jacob.”
Mammi
turned from the stove to give him a welcoming smile. “You just ignore my husband and sit yourself down.”

Anna nodded toward the chair across from the one where she normally sat. She glanced nervously at her grandfather, wondering if he would snap at her grandmother for putting him in his place in front of company. But ever since
Mammi’s
awakening—as Anna liked to call it—
Daadi
had changed too. He still grumbled, complained, and gawked. But he also deferred to his wife far more than Anna would have ever thought possible.
Mammi
had managed to keep the items that were most important to her—her lace curtains, kitchen gadgets, and all of her china dishes and crystal glasses—and with surprisingly little effort. Maybe it was as exhausting for
Daadi
to enforce the rules as it was for them to follow them.

The meal was pleasant and uneventful.
Thank you,
Daadi. Afterward, Jacob led Anna out onto the front porch. She knew what was coming, at least she thought she did. But that didn’t make it any less special when it happened.

“I love you, Anna. I want to marry you, to love you, and raise a family with you.” Sweat dripped from Jacob’s brow even though a cool front had left the evening mild and breezy. He took one of her hands in both of his. “Will you marry me?”

“I don’t know. You look awfully nervous.” Anna burst out laughing when his expression fell. “
Ya
, Jacob. Of course I will marry you. I love you very much.”

He put his hands on either side of Anna’s face and then leaned closer. Her lips parted and she closed her eyes. But then . . . nothing. Jacob eased away without following through.

“I promised your grandfather I wouldn’t kiss you again until we were married.”

“You what? But, Jacob, I—”

“Shh.” He glanced around nervously. “I feel like he is lurking around somewhere, hoping I’ll break my promise. I got permission to marry you, and I don’t want to blow it now, even though there is nothing I want more than to kiss you right now.”

He breathed out a huge sigh, then grinned. “So how fast do you think we can get married?”

She giggled. “Jacob Hostetler, you know I need time to plan.” She cupped his cheek with her palm. “But we’ll have the rest of our lives soon.”

“I’m ready to start my life with you.”

Anna smiled. “Me too. Let’s go inside and tell
Mammi
and
Daadi
.”

Holding hands, Jacob and Anna turned back toward the front door. And sure enough, as they walked past the big front window, they spotted Anna’s grandfather poking his head around the white lace curtains.

It took everything Lucy had the following week to walk into Noah’s clinic, but jobs in Paradise—and even neighboring Lancaster—were hard to find. The receptionist job at Noah’s office paid four dollars more per hour than her shifts at the diner—plus it was a consistent schedule with no weekends. If she was careful with her money, she might be able to start saving some of her salary. She tucked the newspaper with the classified ad in her purse as she walked in the door.

The same woman was sitting in the receptionist area as the last time Lucy visited the clinic. Lucy explained why she was there, and a few minutes later Noah walked into the empty waiting area.

“Come on back, Lucy.” Noah motioned for Lucy to walk with him down the hallway. “Where’s Benjamin?”

“He’s with my friend Cora.” It felt good to be able to say that. She was striving to stay on the path God was laying out for her. And having good friends for the journey seemed an important part of His plan.

Noah pointed to the tan chair in front of his desk, and Lucy sat down. She waited until he was seated behind his desk before she said anything. “I totally understand if you’re not interested in me working here, but my day care is right down the street, and this pays more than I’m making now. I also found out that my mother will be moving into a new facility soon, and it’s near here as well. So . . .” She paused, bit her lip. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Do you have any experience in a medical environment?” Noah scanned the application she’d dropped off the day before.

“No.” She resisted the urge to just get up and run out of there. She should have known this would never fly.

“That’s okay.” Noah looked up and smiled. “Francine didn’t either, and she would be able to show you how to do the insurance coding.” He sighed. “I wasn’t even going to replace Francine. I thought my wife, Carley, could fill in or my nurse and I could run the clinic by ourselves. But Carley has been wanting to try some freelance writing assignments, and Gloria often needs to be in the exam room with me. So I still need someone to take calls and manage appointments, even if business isn’t exactly booming.”

Lucy thought about Marianne’s transformed house. “Maybe that will change soon.”

“I don’t know why it would,” Noah said sadly. “Anyway, you know what the pay is, and I can provide you with insurance. We typically don’t pay for dependents’ insurance, but in this case—”

“No. I’ll pay for Benjamin. And you can take what Mother and I owe you out of my first checks.” She looked down. “I mean, if you decide to hire me.”

“When could you start?”

“I’ve been at the diner for a while, so I wouldn’t feel right not giving them at least a week’s notice.”

“Then let’s plan on you starting a week from today. How’s that?”

“Really?” Lucy twisted the strap on the purse in her lap.

“Yes, really. Francine won’t be leaving until after Labor Day, so that would give her a few days to train you.”

Lucy was quiet for a few moments. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your last phone call. It’s just that I . . .”

“No worries. There will be other family events, and I’ll know where to find you.” Noah stood up and extended his hand. “Welcome to Stoltzfus Clinic. See you soon.”

Lucy felt the smile stretch across her face. “Thank you, Dr. Stoltzfus.”

“Just Noah.” He smiled. “We’re family, after all.”

Lucy could barely hold back the tears as she left the building. God was blessing her over and over. She was abundantly thankful for this new job and the way that Noah wanted to include her and Benjamin in his family.

But she wondered about Noah’s sisters and his other relatives. Would they be as accepting? Or was she just setting herself and Benjamin up for more rejection?

Cora watched John shuffle from the bathroom to his side of the bed as he did every night. She thought about the way Marianne had stood up to her husband and the compromises they’d reached. Cora wondered if there was anything she could do to shock John back into being himself. If not, maybe it would be better for him to just leave. Divorce wasn’t an option, of course, but maybe they could live apart for a while.

The truth was, John was making everyone in the family miserable. Mostly Cora. The
kinner
didn’t say much, but Cora could tell they missed their father—the young boys especially.

She’d already bathed, so she slipped into her nightgown, sat down on the edge of the bed, and brushed her hair. Their routine was as predictable as the sun rising and setting each day. If there was any conversation forthcoming, Cora knew it would be stilted, if not just plain mean.

She still couldn’t believe John’s reaction to her pregnancy.
Whatever
. The more she thought about it, the more his attitude
crawled beneath her skin and festered. By the time she finished brushing her hair, her heart was racing, her face flushed, and her hands were trembling. As her emotions spiked, she felt her senses take leave, and this new Cora was pulsing with enough adrenaline to squash John Hostetler into a million pieces if he wasn’t careful.

She walked around to his side of the bed and stared down at him until he took off his reading glasses and closed the book in his lap.

“What?” His expressionless face seemed like a slap to hers. “Why are you just standing there staring at me?” He opened the book again and slipped his glasses back on.

At first Cora stood there frozen, her teeth gritted, her hands knotted into fists. Then something finally snapped. She felt like a dog gone rabid as she jerked the book from her husband’s lap and heaved it across the room. It slammed into the wall and fell to the floor, spine up. Cora noticed for the first time what John was reading.
Entanglement
by Louise Parsons. An
Englisch
murder mystery. She had told herself that maybe the book he kept in his nightstand was a Bible study of some sort. Why hadn’t she ever opened the drawer and looked?

“What are you doing?” John jumped out of the bed, threw his hands up in the air, and glared at Cora.

“
Nee
, John. What are
you
doing? I’m sick and tired of this! Everyone in this family misses Leah, but we don’t have the luxury of just checking out of life like you have! You’re not doing your job, John. You’re not taking care of me or your family.”

“How dare you.” John’s face reddened, and his lip trembled. “I provide a
gut
living for this family. I work long hours and—”

“Stop it! Just stop it!” Cora screamed and stomped her foot. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Panic crossed John’s face. “Keep your voice down.”

“I will not!” she screamed back at him. “Something has to change, John. We can’t keep living like this.” She realized she had her hands on her stomach. She hadn’t even been aware of doing that. “We’re having a
boppli
. He or she will not replace Leah, but there is a life growing inside of me, John.”

He didn’t answer. He turned away from her and stared out the window.

“We have to talk about this, John. About this child that is coming. And about Leah. We never talk about her anymore. Don’t you think the rest of us are hurting too? We all miss her.”

“But it’s my fault she’s gone.” John spoke barely above a whisper, his face still turned away.

“That’s not true.” But that’s what she’d told herself, wasn’t it—that it was his fault? She’d needed to put the blame on someone. And that was wrong. She knew she needed to let go of the blame and trust in God’s will. But knowing and doing weren’t necessarily the same thing.

Could she let go now?

Could her husband?

“John, you can’t keep blaming yourself like this. It was God’s will that our beautiful
maedel
was taken. And you have other
kinner
who need you.” She took a few steps toward him, wanting to wrap her arms around his waist. But she didn’t.

She waited for him to say something. To turn around. Anything. But he didn’t move, and neither did she.

“This is my punishment,” he finally said, his head hung low.

Cora eased her way closer but still didn’t touch him. “Punishment for what?”

John turned around, and Cora brought a hand to her chest when she saw the tears streaming down his face. “God took Leah because I cheated on you all those years ago. And I turned the plow too sharp. That’s why she’s gone. It’s my fault on all accounts.” He covered his face with his hands and wept.

Cora swallowed hard and moved closer. Part of her longed to reach out and embrace him, but she didn’t dare. She was so used to him pulling away from her that she wasn’t ready to set herself up for that, even though she wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

“It was an accident, John. It’s not your fault. And God doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t punish an affair by killing a child. He forgave you a long time ago, just like I did.”

Even as she said the words, she found herself wondering if they were really true. Had she really forgiven John? She honestly didn’t know. But she knew she had to forgive now.

“You have to come back to the world of the living, John. You’re hurting yourself.” She hesitated, then added in a whisper, “You’re hurting all of us.”

He pulled his hands from his face, his cheeks moist, his eyes puffy. “I feel so awful, Cora. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed or to even live. I can’t . . .” He clenched his fists at his sides. “I can’t stand the pain. And it takes everything I have to keep going.”