Plain Peace (A Daughters of the Promise Novel) (32 page)

“Maybe you should give him a
gut
talking to.” Marianne sat down on the couch beside Cora.

Then Cora shook her head and buried her face in her hands. “I feel so awful.”

Lucy slowly got up off the floor, wound around the coffee table, and sat down on the other side of Cora. She still didn’t say anything. But Cora was so upset and not acting herself, Lucy couldn’t help wanting to offer her some sort of comfort.

“This is embarrassing.” Cora was weeping now. “But I didn’t know where else to come. I was up all night, thinking about what we’ve become. But I can’t have my
kinner
seeing me like this.”

Lucy glanced at Marianne, who looked back at her and shrugged. For once, Marianne seemed at a loss for words.

“Maybe, uh . . . maybe your husband just needs some time to get used to the idea of another child.” Lucy shifted her weight on the couch, not sure if she should have added her two cents.

“Well, he better get used to it. This
boppli
will be here in seven and a half months!” Cora lifted her head from her hands and leaned back against the couch cushions, sniffling.

Marianne patted Cora on the leg. “Honey, are you sure you’re pregnant?”

Cora actually rolled her eyes. “Uh,
ya
. I missed my period. I never miss my period unless I’m pregnant.”

“Did you do a pregnancy test?” Lucy asked.

“A what?” Cora frowned as she turned to face her.

“You know, a pregnancy test.” Lucy got up off the couch, picked up several blocks Benjamin had thrown across the room, returned them to him, then sat back down.

Cora turned to Marianne. “Do you know what she’s talking about?”

Marianne shook her head. “
Nee
, I don’t.”

“It’s a little kit you buy in the store. Walmart has them,” Lucy said. “You urinate on the little stick, and if it shows a plus sign, you’re pregnant. Or if a minus sign shows up, you’re not pregnant. They’re pretty accurate.”

“That’s disgusting.” Cora shivered. “I’m not going to . . . you know . . . on a stick.”

“Well, if you did, you’d know for sure if you are. Sometimes people miss their period for other reasons.”

Marianne took in a deep, loud breath. “Cora, how old did you tell me you are?”

“Too old to be having another
boppli
.” Cora sighed. “I’m forty-three.”

Marianne chuckled. “I was that age when I started going through the change. Honey, you might not be pregnant at all.” She grinned. “Your hormones certainly seem out of whack, but that could be because you are entering menopause.”

Cora’s face brightened. “Do you think that’s it?”

Lucy stared at Cora, confused. Cora seemed so
happy
about the possibility of a false alarm. But that didn’t make sense. Many
Amish families were quite large, and Cora obviously loved children. Surely a new baby would be a gift in the troubled household.

“I think it’s wonderful that you might be pregnant,” Lucy said softly.

Cora turned to her and frowned. “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t already have six—I mean, five—children. And I’m a
few
years older than you.” She pointed a finger at Lucy. “And I have a husband who has checked out, flown the coop!”

“At least you
have
a husband,” Lucy said under her breath, not looking up at Cora.

Cora let out a heavy sigh. “Yes, Lucy. I have a husband. And right now, I wish I didn’t!”

“
Ach
, now. You don’t mean that,” Marianne said.

“What I mean is I want the old John back. The John I married. The man he was before Leah died. I need him right now, and he’s nowhere to be found.” The tears were starting again.

“I can go get you a pregnancy test,” Lucy blurted out. “You’ll know within a few minutes if you’re pregnant.” She glanced over at Benjamin, who had curled up on the floor and looked like he was almost sleeping.

“So . . .” Cora tilted her head. “All I have to do is, um,
go
on a stick, and this stick will let me know if I am with child?”

Lucy nodded. “I’ll go right now if you want me to.”

Cora stared at Lucy long and hard. “You would do that for me? I mean, after the way I treated—”

“It’s no problem at all.” Lucy stood up, not wanting to hear what else Cora had to say. “Can you watch Benjamin?”

“Of course,” Cora said.

“We both will,” Marianne added.

Lucy picked up her purse, still talking directly to Cora. “If he wakes up, he will probably be hungry. There are some snacks and juice in the diaper bag.”

“Lucy, we’ll all be fine.” Marianne stood up. “I promise you I won’t faint. I’m in
gut
shape. And even if I do, Cora will be here.”

“I’m not worried.” Lucy headed for the door, happy for the chance to help—to do something to work her way back into the friendship circle. Despite Marianne’s earlier words, Lucy still felt that she needed to prove herself worthy of Cora’s friendship.

“I’ll be back.”

“I was awful to her,” Cora mused as they heard Lucy pull away in her car.

“
Ya
, dear. You were.” Marianne never minced words.

“It’s just that I know her type.”

“And what type is that?”

Cora looked over at Benjamin to make sure he was sleeping before she spoke. “The type who steals another woman’s husband.”

Marianne sighed. “
Ach, ya
. I’m sure it was all Lucy’s fault and Ivan Stoltzfus had nothing to do with it. I’m sure Lucy seduced him with her wiles and robbed him of his innocence.”

“Don’t mock me, Marianne. That’s probably exactly what happened.”

“Oh pooh!” Marianne chuckled. “You don’t know that.”

Cora shrugged. “Either way, adultery is a sin.”

“And you are free of sin?” Marianne’s smile had a sly edge. “You, who was ready to smack her husband or send him to another country?”

Cora couldn’t fight the smile on her own face. “I never said I was perfect. But I really do know the type. John . . .” She paused, embarrassed again. “John had an, uh . . .” She shook her head. “I know the type. Trust me.”

“So John had an affair. He cheated on you. And you don’t like Lucy because of this?”

Cora stomped her foot from her place on the couch. “Don’t make me out to be the bad person here. I never cheated on anyone.”

“Well, you shouldn’t take out your frustrations with your own past on Lucy. She’s trying very hard to walk God’s path, and no one has beat themselves up more about what happened with Ivan than Lucy herself. She doesn’t need you to beat her up too.”

“I never said I wanted to beat her up. I just know her kind, and I don’t trust her.”

They were both quiet for a while before Marianne spoke up again.

“Well, she did offer to get you this urination test.” Marianne shrugged. “Sounds to me like she is trying very hard to be your friend. And before you knew about Lucy’s past, you were very fond of her.”

“I know.” Cora rolled her eyes.

“Then let it go. Live in the here and now. Only God can judge, and if He has forgiven Lucy, then I would think you could too.”

Cora didn’t answer, just sat quietly for a while, her hands across her belly. When she spoke again, she changed the subject. “So do you think I’m really pregnant?”

“I don’t know, dear. But I suppose we will know soon enough.”

Cora followed the instructions on the pregnancy test, wishing she’d had one of these when she was pregnant with Abe. She’d spotted throughout her first trimester and hadn’t been completely sure she was pregnant until her belly started to get round. The waiting had driven her crazy. This waiting wouldn’t take nearly so long—if it worked.

She could hear faint voices in the living room while she sat there on the edge of Marianne’s bathtub and watched for the plus sign or the minus sign. In the quiet of that bathroom, those minutes of waiting, she felt something shift in her spirit. It was like a tight place inside her had loosened, freeing her to turn toward God.

She closed her eyes.

God, forgive me for all of my bitter thoughts about another child. I just miss Leah so much, and bringing a
boppli
into the family seems almost like leaving her behind. I know it wouldn’t really be like that. But it just feels wrong to be happy when we don’t have my precious girl in our lives anymore. I’ve prayed to You continuously to heal my family, and as angry as I am at John, I ask You to please help us find a way back to each other. Whatever the results of this test, I promise to accept it as Your will
.

She paused.

And, God, please forgive me for the way I treated Lucy. Help me love her instead of judging her
.

Even as she prayed it, she realized how much she wanted it. She’d missed being around Lucy and Benjamin, and she did want to put judgment behind her. It was time to look forward instead of back.

No matter what the little stick tells me
.

Is it time?
Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at the results. She took a deep, cleansing breath and walked back into the living
room. Lucy and Marianne stood up when she walked in, neither saying a word.

Cora smiled. “I’m pregnant.”

Nobody moved. Both women just looked at her.

“And it’s okay.” Cora touched her stomach. There was a new sense of peace, and Cora knew that peace was always the work of the Holy Spirit.

Marianne walked up and slowly wrapped her arms around Cora. “God has a way of working things out, and maybe this child is the blessing you and John need.”

Cora thought about John’s reaction to her pregnancy and her stomach tightened, but then she tried to focus on that freedom she had felt while waiting for the stick to give its message. She chose to walk in God’s light, not her husband’s darkness. She would continue to pray for John, but she couldn’t be responsible for every feeling he had. She had enough to work through on her own.

Lucy came over with a shy smile and placed her hand on Cora’s stomach. Cora stiffened a little. Amish people just didn’t do such things. But Lucy clearly meant well, so Cora tried not to flinch. And when Lucy smiled, Cora couldn’t help but smile along with her.

“I hope I’m able to have more children someday.” Lucy pulled her hand back, then glanced at Benjamin. “I didn’t use to want children, but kids change you. For the better.”

Cora reached for Lucy’s hand and squeezed. “You’re a
gut
mother, Lucy. And a
gut
person. I’m sorry.”

Cora was surprised when Lucy burst into tears and threw her arms around her. “I’ve missed you,” she said. Cora froze, shocked yet flattered at how deeply their estrangement had affected the younger woman. She pulled her friend into a hug. “I’ve missed you too.”

S
ATURDAY NIGHT ANNA WAS AS NERVOUS AS SHE WAS
excited for Jacob to be joining her family for supper, especially now that she knew a proposal was in order.

She hoped
Daadi
would behave. He was still unhappy over
Mammi’s
new decor, even though they’d talked and made some compromises. The cuckoo clock had gotten to stay, but most of the knickknacks had been boxed up and carted back to the basement.

Jacob arrived right on time.

“Wow. This room doesn’t look at all like it did before,” he whispered as he walked into the living room. “It’s really pretty.”

Anna shivered happily at the sound of his voice, and butterflies danced in her stomach as she thought about being Jacob’s wife. “You should have seen it a couple of days ago,” she whispered back.

Jacob’s chuckle stopped abruptly, and he stiffened when Anna’s grandfather walked into the room. “Did you remember our conversation?”
Daadi
asked.

“Yes, sir.”

Anna felt her face turning red.

“
Gut
. Now come into the kitchen. For some reason, we are being forced to try another new recipe. Probably something Italian, French, Chinese, or from some other foreign place.”
Daadi
shook
his head. “If you came for a
gut
meat and potatoes supper, you might be out of luck.”

He shuffled toward the kitchen, motioning for Anna and Jacob to follow. “Marianne has taken leave of her senses.” He looked over his shoulder, pointing back toward the living room. “As you can see.”