Marianne touched her on the arm. “Continue on your journey, dear. And I will pray for you.”
Lucy leaned over and hugged Marianne. “Thank you.”
Marianne walked Lucy to the door and waved. Cora was already in the car. It didn’t take a brilliant woman to see that this visit hadn’t ended well. But Marianne had meant what she said. She would keep Lucy and Benjamin—and Cora too—in her prayers.
The tension in the car was suffocating. Lucy had tried to talk to Cora but received only clipped responses. Not once did Cora look at Lucy, and she didn’t lean over the seat to play with Benjamin the way she had done in the past.
How stupid she’d been to think she and Cora could really be friends. Lucy knew how the Amish lived, which was a much
better life than Lucy had lived. But she’d hoped that Cora would understand and realize that she was working toward a better life. Surrounding herself with good people like Cora had been part of the plan. Lucy thought about the school shootings that had happened years ago nearby. The Amish community had forgiven the gunman, a man who had killed their children. Yet Cora couldn’t forgive Lucy for having an affair with a married man?
Maybe she just needs time
.
Lucy pulled to a stop in Cora’s driveway. “Thank you for taking me to meet Marianne. You were right. She’s a very dear person. I do think our paths have crossed before, but only briefly.” Lucy waited for Cora to goggle over Benjamin the way she usually did. But she didn’t even look in the backseat.
“
Ya
, Marianne is special. ’Bye, now.” Cora closed the door firmly and hurried to the house. She didn’t look back.
Once Lucy was on the road, she let the tears pour freely. She’d lost Cora as a friend, just as she’d expected, and now she was on her way home to face her mother.
God, I’m trying. I’m really trying. Please give me some guidance
.
Benjamin had fallen back asleep in his car seat, so she carried him inside and settled him in his crib to finish his nap. She dried her tears as best she could before she walked back into the living room to find her mother was standing with one hand on her hip.
“So how was your visit with your new friends?”
Lucy wished there was an ounce of sincerity in the question. “Fine.”
“That bishop’s wife knows who you are, right? Surprised she even let you in her house.”
Lucy walked to the couch, sat down, and put her feet on the coffee table. “Marianne was very nice.”
“That’s how those Amish are. Nice to your face, and they act all holy, but they’re just as hateful as anybody else behind your back.”
Lucy silently prayed for patience as her mother kept up the harangue. “I guarantee that woman didn’t want you there, and she’s probably telling everybody about it right—”
“Shut up, Mother! Just shut up!”
“Now, there’s the Lucy I know. Welcome back.” Her mother cackled, and Lucy resisted the urge to scream at her again. She was trying for a new life, and that life didn’t include yelling at her mother, no matter how justified.
I am becoming a daughter of the promise, a daughter of the promise, a daughter of the promise
. . .
Lucy laid her head back against the couch and closed her eyes, but as her mother’s footsteps grew closer, she braced herself.
“I’m all you got. You know that, right? Just me and Benjamin.”
Lucy didn’t open her eyes. “Yes, Mom.”
“Good. As long as you realize. Nobody ’round here’s ever gonna accept you, especially them Amish people.”
“Yes, Mom.”
Lucy fought to swallow past the knot in her throat. Maybe her mother was right.
A
NNA PULLED HER BUGGY INTO THE LUMBERYARD PARKING
lot around the time Jacob was due to get off work. She tethered her horse and stood leaning against her buggy. If she squinted, she could see through the glass window and into the store. A tinge of jealousy nipped at her when she saw Jacob standing at the counter, talking to Glenda. She recalled Glenda’s comment to her awhile back.
“Well, if I were Amish, I’d snap him right up.”
She smoothed the wrinkles in her dress and fumbled with the cherry-flavored lip gloss in her pocket, wondering if Jacob would kiss her again and also pondering what they could do to get her grandfather’s blessing. She felt bad sneaking around like this, and she knew Jacob did too. He might decide to quit seeing her if she didn’t get
Daadi’s
approval soon.
Her stomach churned as she watched Jacob and Glenda laughing together. What were they talking about? Jealousy was a bad thing, but it had crawled under her skin just the same. She pulled out the small watch she kept in her apron pocket since jewelry was forbidden. She would give Jacob five more minutes, but then she would need to head home.
Twenty minutes later she still hadn’t been able to bring herself to leave. Another buggy pulled into the parking lot, and finally
Jacob walked out of the store. Anna was irked that they’d lost precious time together while he’d been inside with Glenda.
“
Wie bischt?
How long have you been out here?” Jacob stopped in front of her, then glanced to his left at the other buggy. “Mary Jane is here to pick me up.”
“Not too long.” Anna managed a smile, though she was still feeling a little miffed.
“I missed you. I’m glad to see you’re better, but I would have been happy to see you even with poison ivy on your face.” He winked at her, and all was forgiven. She wanted to run into his arms, but his sister’s eyes were on them.
“When can I see you?” he asked. “Things didn’t go well with your
daadi
when I was there. I’m not sure what to do.”
Anna shrugged. “I don’t know. I could come by and pick you up for lunch tomorrow.”
He hesitated. “Uh,
ya
. It won’t solve the problem with your grandfather, but I’d love to have lunch with you.” Pushing back the rim of his hat, he added, “I don’t like deceiving him, though.”
“Me either. I’ll keep trying to figure out what to do.”
“All right. Now, I have to go. Mary Jane’s waiting.” He leaned down and, to her surprise, kissed her on the lips with his sister watching. “I miss you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch.” She gave him a quick wave as he headed for the only other buggy in the parking lot. Mary Jane took off as soon as he climbed in, so Anna set to untethering her horse.
“I saw you out here in the parking lot. Why didn’t you just come in the store?”
Anna turned to see Glenda standing a few feet away, her long
blond hair pulled into a side braid. Her pink lip gloss looked to be about the same color as what Anna had in her pocket, although Anna had never worn hers. Glenda wore a short blue-jean skirt, a tight blue T-shirt, and white flip-flops. She looked fantastic.
Anne could feel herself blushing. “I, uh, didn’t want to bother Jacob at work.”
If you saw me out here, why didn’t you tell Jacob?
“Oh, he’d been off the clock for about thirty minutes. We were just talking.” Glenda dabbed at her forehead. “I’m so sick of this heat.”
Anna nodded. “
Ya
, it’s hot for sure.”
Glenda adjusted the white purse on her shoulder and took a step closer to Anna. “Listen, I’m having a party a week from Saturday. I know how it is for you—for Amish, I mean. You’re allowed to party until you’re baptized. So I asked Jacob if he wanted to come to the party.” She grinned, batting her eyelashes. “And to bring you, of course.” She brushed a strand of wayward hair from her face. “Hope to see you both there. I live on the street back behind Beiler’s Bed and Breakfast. My house is the blue two-story house with white shutters. Jacob knows which one. Gotta run now.”
“Thanks. Sounds
gut
.” Anna gave a quick wave before Glenda walked off, then she got in her buggy, knowing full well that she’d only been invited because Glenda wanted Jacob at her party. Gritting her teeth, she backed up the buggy, disgusted at her jealousy. Why should she care about an
Englisch
party, anyway?
But as she picked up speed, she thought about it again. Going to the party—assuming that her grandfather allowed her to go in the first place—would give her a chance to be with Jacob. But that would make it yet another deception. Would it be a lie if she just didn’t mention that Jacob would be at the party?
“You are not to see that boy.”
Her grandfather’s words echoed in her head. She decided she’d talk with Jacob tomorrow at lunch. He’d mention the party to her then, and they could put their heads together about whether to go or not.
She decided to go by Emma’s on the way home. Maybe her friend could help her figure the whole thing out.
Cora pulled her nightgown over her head, then removed the pins from her hair. John was already in bed, his back to her, when she sat down and took her brush from the nightstand. As she ran it the length of her hair, she fought the urge to smack him over the head with it. She was itching to pick a fight over the decade-old topic that had reared its ugly head while she was with Marianne and Lucy today.
She hadn’t thought about John’s affair in years. A woman just like Lucy had seduced him into a three-month dalliance that almost destroyed their marriage. Luckily, John had come to his senses and ended it. Cora had done her best to forgive, but it was hard to forget what that woman had done to her. And Lucy had done the very same thing to another Amish woman! She didn’t need someone like that in her life. If nothing else, Lucy was a reminder of John’s bad judgment and betrayal.
John started snoring, and without even thinking, Cora gave him a sharp jab in the back.
“Hey!” He rolled over, and in the dim light of the lantern, she could see the scowl on his face.
“You’re snoring,” she said as she stowed her brush back in the drawer.
“
Ya
, well. You didn’t have to poke me so hard.” He rolled back
over, and Cora threw back the sheet. It was too warm to sleep with any type of covering. Not that she could sleep anyway. She didn’t snuff out the lantern, and as she lay there on her back, her blood was boiling. She was sick and tired of John’s attitude, angry that Lucy’s confession had brought up bad memories of the worst time in her marriage. Most of all, she missed her oldest daughter.
She got out of bed, grabbed her pillow and lantern, and went downstairs to the small mudroom where she’d set up her sewing table and supplies and the old recliner where she sometimes did her mending. She snuffed out the lantern and set it on the table. Curling up in the recliner, she thought about all the time she’d spent with all her girls around that table. Especially Leah, who had done most of the mending and sewing.
“I miss you, my sweet girl.” Cora reclined in the chair and buried her head in the pillow.
Marianne placed an order on her iPhone for two Christian novels she’d found online. It had taken her three tries to enter her credit card number correctly on the little thing, even using her magnifying glass. When she was done, she sat back in her chair and eyed her collection. Isaac would have a heart attack if he knew how much stuff she had and what she’d spent on it over the years. Enough to buy a small house, most likely.
She picked up one of the crystal glasses from a set of eight she’d ordered a few years ago. Much too luxurious for Isaac’s taste, but Marianne dreamed of setting them out for supper one night when they were having guests. She put the glass back on the shelf and picked up a decorative serving bowl. Mary Ellen Stoltzfus had used
one almost exactly like it when she invited Marianne and Isaac for supper a few years back. Isaac had said it was much too fancy, with tiny flowers etched into the fine china. Marianne had thought it was just beautiful.