Picturing Perfect (9 page)

"Yes." I nodded.

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged again. "I mean, ick. But, fine."

"Vault?"

"Vault. I promise."

Jason grinned as he looked down at his t-shirt. "Yep, still haven't kicked the habit."

Auden rolled her eyes. I had to laugh at their rapport. So close one minute, and embarrassed of one another the next. It made me long for a sibling.

As soon as Auden's parents and her sister Maya arrived, we were seated at a large table with brightly colored wooden chairs. Quickly, Auden ordered two pitchers of margaritas for the table. I ordered myself a Sprite, knowing alcohol was no longer an option. That was just the beginning of the many changes I would have to make. I wasn't a huge drinker, but it was a consciousness that I'd never had to worry about before. I'd never had to protect another life before. I'd never had to put the needs of a tiny, helpless human above my own. The realization of that responsibility rolled over me like a wave. I could feel the blood draining from my cheeks.

"Haddie," Jason whispered from the seat next to mine, "is everything all right? You don't look so good."

I shook my head, staring off into space as I reached for my water glass. It was Auden's night and I would
not
spoil it.

"Oh geez, sorry. I'm just getting over a bug."

"No, you're not," Auden interrupted, suspicion written all over her face.

"Auden," Mrs. Kelly snapped.

Auden raised her arms in front of her. "I just don't remember you being sick."

"It's no big deal," I said, taking another sip. "I'm fine. Totally fine."

As the family caught up on the day's events, I was able to take several deep breaths. I could feel my body relaxing. When the margaritas arrived, Auden poured me a glass automatically. I didn't stop her or turn the glass away. I hoped that if I just let the glass sit in front of my place setting, no one would notice that it was still full at the end of our meal.

My plan was working well. The Kelly family imbibed their cocktails and ordered food. Small talk was heard around the table as well as funny stories about Auden's childhood. When our food arrived, though, Jason leaned in close.

"So…how's your job?"

In between bites, I said, "It's wonderful. I love it."

"Awesome," he said, smiling at me. "I know you take your clients on field trips, but what else are you doing for Sunnyside?"

He seemed genuinely interested in my work and I loved that. Tucker had barely asked me a handful of questions about my work since I accepted the job. He didn't think it was "worthy" of my education.

"I teach basic skills like coin recognition and telling time. I love teaching exercise class; we go for long walks in the trails outside or we make up aerobic routines."

"Sounds fun." He chuckled, taking a sip of his margarita.

"It is! It's more fun than I ever expected. Right now, I'm planning the Valentine's Day dance and I get to choose the music. I'm excited about it."

"Oh, look out. It'll be nothing but 80s songs the entire night," Jason said, casually nudging me with his elbow.

He remembered the music I liked. I felt such conflict brewing within me. The butterflies were stirring in my abdomen, just as they always did when I was near him. Knowing I was pregnant with Tucker's child, though, stopped them immediately.

Get rid of those feelings, Hadley. It's not going to happen. It can't happen.

"I do love that decade." I nodded, picking at my chicken fajitas.

"I remember," Jason said before biting into his burrito. "You know, I used to DJ a little bit in college. I'm happy to help if you need it."

"Really?" I asked, stunned. Weeks ago, I'd asked Tucker if he'd like to be my date for the dance and he still hadn't given me a straight answer. Jason was just so…different than the man I was dating.

"Are you kidding? Of course. Just tell me what you need me to do."

His green eyes were wide as he placed his elbow on the table and perched his chin, giving me his undivided attention.

"Well, I do have a client who loves music. Would you be willing to work with him? He could be your assistant or something. I think it'd make his entire year."

"Sure." Jason nodded, still watching me intently.

"Awesome," I said, my heart once again aflutter. I took another bite of chicken just to break eye contact with the handsome man who was just inches away from me. His eyes were pulling me in. I was overwhelmed, bewildered and completely in awe of how he
still
made me feel after all those years apart.

"Maybe you could stop by the center a couple of days before the dance. I can introduce you to Bryce and you two can talk shop," I said, running my fingers through my hair. Jason's eyes followed my hand as it flowed from root to tip. I almost lost my breath.

"I'll be there," he said, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone. "Let me get your number and we'll set something up."

Once I finished giving Jason my cell number, Auden interrupted us.

"Will you come with me to the bathroom? I need to pee." Auden pushed herself up into a standing position. There was no doubt she'd had way too much to drink. Several pitchers of margaritas had been served to our table and the only one who had been drinking consistently was Auden.

"Of course," I said, standing and walking towards her, offering my arm. She looked relieved as she reached out for me and grasped my arm for support. She was even more buzzed than I thought

"Shh," she faux whispered quite loudly into my ear. "I don't want my mother to know I'm drunk."

I turned back, glancing at her family. Her parents were busy in conversation, her mother playfully wiping the salsa from her husband as he spoke. Maya was checking her cell phone with a furrowed brow. Her husband was home with their sick baby. It was obvious she'd rather be there with them. Jason was sitting with his elbows on the table, still looking my way. When our eyes met, he grinned at me. Quickly I looked away, before rounding the corner to the bathroom. All of the attention from Jason was messing with my head.

Once the door to the bathroom closed, Auden turned to me and placed her hands on both sides of my head. She smoothed my hair down to the tips and a giggle escaped me. I hadn't seen her that drunk in months. Again and again, she ran her hands down the sides of my head, as she stared at me blankly, sweat building on her forehead.

"Sweetie," I said, tipping my chin, attempting to make eye contact with her. She glanced at me before throwing her head back in hysterics. If I had been the least bit tipsy, I'm sure I'd find her hilarious. But, being completely sober and having one of the strangest days of my life made it difficult to relate to Auden's laughter.

"I am drunkety, drunk, drunk, drunk," Auden said, her volume increasing each time she repeated the word. Twirling around the bathroom, pinching the fabric of her sweater dress, Auden spun herself through the air before bumping into the wall.

"Whoops."

Auden laughed again as she entered the largest stall of the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and giggled to herself as she used the toilet.

I stood at the sink, waiting for her to emerge from the stall. The toilet flushed, but she didn't move. Her charcoal ballet slippers were still pressed to the floor. She was still sitting on the toilet.

"Aud?" I said, knocking on the door of the stall. "You okay?"

"I think I'm gonna puke," she whimpered.

"Oh." That's all I could think to say. Auden had a tried and true phobia when it came to vomiting. She was terrified of it and would do anything and everything in her power not to do it. Snapping into caregiver mode, I walked to the stall door. We'd been here many times before during our college years. I took a deep breath and asked, "What can I do, sweetie?"

The latch loosened on the large stall door and it slowly creaked open. Auden was fully dressed, sitting on the toilet. Her skin was ashen and as she clutched the handicap bar to her side.

"I don't wanna do it," she whined, her brow knitted, her hair disheveled.

"Shh," I said, smoothing down her hair. "Do you want me to get your mom? Or Maya?"

"No!" she shouted, grabbing onto my forearm.

"Okay, okay," I said, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Just stay here with me…please," she whimpered, a tear slowly dropping from her eye.

"Of course, sweetie," I replied, squeezing her hand.

"I'm gonna sit down now," she said, pulling herself up and sitting down on the terracotta tile. Following her lead, I placed the latch back on the door and sat beside her on the floor. Auden placed her elbows on the seat of the toilet and leaned against her folded arms.

"Breathe in and out," I said softly as I rubbed her back. Taking deep breaths in and out, in and out, I tried to get Auden to follow my lead. After several minutes of this, Auden tugged at the neck of her sweater as sweat trickled down her neck. Yep, she was gonna vomit.

"I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna," she whined as she shook her head vigorously back and forth. Doing my best to stifle my laughter, I just kept thinking about how grateful I was for the distraction. Auden was always entertaining, even when she didn't mean to be. She attempted to swat me when she heard my chuckles.

"You're a brat."

"Sorry, sweetie."

"I have to lay down," she said. And as much as I wanted to stop my best friend from laying down in a public bathroom, I said nothing. I simply moved out of the way and let her rest. She laid her head on her arm and closed her eyes.

I sat back against the wall, resting my head against the stucco-textured paint. Just when I thought Auden had fallen asleep, she whispered, "I think it's passing."

"Maybe your food is settling," I offered, rubbing her calf gently to comfort her.

"Maybe," she replied. "This sucks."

"I know. Puking is the worst."

"Can I tell you something?" Auden croaks out.

"Of course," I said, lightly rubbing her leg.

"I'm not happy. Ever since we got back from Europe. Something is just…not right."

"Is it your job?" I asked, hoping she'd give me more information. I wanted my best friend to be happy again and I'm not sure her current job in sales was really the right route for her. When she first told me she wanted to go into pharmaceutical sales, I was floored. It was so competitive. So cutthroat. But Auden loved a challenge. And talking with people had never been her weakness. But maybe it wasn't all she'd hoped it would be.

"Maybe, I don't know," she mumbled. "I just feel like I don't belong anymore."

"Don't belong where?"

"Here…I don't know, anywhere I guess. I just feel weird, like I'm failing."

"Not true," I argued. "You're one of the most outgoing people I know. You're anything but a failure."

"I don't know what it is. But, I'm miserable."

"I'm here for you, honey. We'll figure this out together."

"Okay," she said, her voice soft as she drifted into sleep.

"Auden?" I said, touching her lightly on the leg.

"Mmmm," she said, eyes and lips closed.

"I need to tell you something. It's big. And I'm probably only telling you this because I'm pretty sure you won't remember tomorrow."

She mouthed the word 'vault' as her eyes stayed shut. God, I loved her. Even in her state of drunkenness, she lived and breathed by our code.

"I'm pregnant," I said, my voice faltering. "And I have no idea what to do."

"Ohhhh, that's nice," Auden said, her voice trailing off. And within two seconds, she was snoring. I shook my head and let out another uncomfortable laugh, sitting back against the wall wondering what the hell I was going to do with my passed out friend.

Just then, there was a knock on the stall door. Climbing to my feet, I opened the large metal door. An irritated Maya stared down at her sister in disbelief.

"Oh, for God's sake," she muttered. "Did she throw up?" Maya placed her hands on her hips.

"No, but I thought she might."

"Good. The world would've come to an end if Auden Kelly had to vomit," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll get Jason and we'll carry her drunk ass out of here. I have to get home anyway."

"Okay." I gave her a half smile as I looked back down at the snoring Auden.

Jason walked in, trying not to laugh at his sister. He was trying
really
hard. He was such a good guy.

"I'm gonna drive her home. You okay to drive?" Jason asked, looking concerned.

"Me? Oh, yeah. Fine, totally," I stammered. Why did I embarrass myself like this around him?

Jason bit his lip and smiled, holding back a chuckle. Completely mortified, I was certain my cheeks were blushing again. Could he sense just how much he still affected me after all this time?
Lord, help me.

"I'll call you about the dance stuff," he said, patting his cell phone in his pocket.

"Great" I said, helping him pull Auden to a standing position. She opened her eyes and let out a small burp. I smelled the tequila on her breath and had to turn my head as my stomach threatened to turn in my belly. If there had been any part of me that wanted to drink tonight, that part just went running from the room. Holding my breath, avoiding the smell of tequila, Jason and I locked eyes.

"Niiiice, sis," Jason said to Auden, shaking his head.

"Oops, sorry." Auden smiled before leaning her head on Jason's shoulder. "Thanks."

"No worries. I got ya." He put his arm around her hip and guided her out of the bathroom. I followed him back to the table to gather my things and say my goodbyes. Mr. and Mrs. Kelly didn't say much, obviously embarrassed for Auden. But, I suspected they were also concerned about their daughter. She wasn't happy…not at all. And now we all knew it.