Parker's Island (40 page)

“Fine
!
”
h
e said and slowly made his way up the stairs
, mumbling something
un
intelligible al
ong
the way
.

“Okay, let’s hear it
,
”
m
y father ordered.

My mother was still sobbing, holding on to my hand like I was going to vanish again.

I started from the beginning, the night I
had
lied to them and went to the grad party.  I told them the truth, trying to
only
leave out
the
details that would not only embarrass
me
, but my father as well.

“Why didn’t I see it?  I’m your mother
.
I should
have known something was wrong
,
”
m
y mom said, hugging me to her.

“Because
Mom
, like me, you didn’t want to see it.”

“Did Brian know?”
s
he asked.

“Christine figured it out.  She confronted us, asking why we hadn’t told
anyone
that we were having a baby.”

“
Did she know
it wasn’t
Brian’s?”
s
he
aske
d.

“
No
, not at first
.”

“I know this would have been wrong, but why didn’t you just say it was Brian’s.  He loved you
,
honey
.  H
e wouldn’t have figured it out.  Your secret would have
been
safe.”

“Mom, Brian and I…we never…
”  I looked at my Dad and I couldn’t go on.

“I was so sure…I guess I have a lot to apologize for
,
Delaney.  I’m
so
sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.  I shouldn’t have gone to the stupid party.  I knew it was
wrong.  I never should have lied to you or
Brian.  I hurt him and I can’t forgive myself for it.”

“Brian knew…
what happened
…
and he didn’t tell us
?
”
m
y mom asked, angrily.

“He didn’t know
I was…
raped
.  He assumed
I had been with
…
another man
.”

“Why
would he think that
?”
m
y mom asked.

“Because he knew I was in love with
someone else
.”
  I had managed to keep my tears at bay until I mentioned Logan
.  That was
the
one pain I couldn’t control.

“Delaney, I don’t understand any of this.  Was
t
he
other man
the one that…
?”

“NO!  He would never hurt me
,
” I said.

“Who did?”
m
y father asked, finally coming out of his stupor.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“The
h
ell it doesn’t!”
m
y father roared.  I had never heard my father utter a curse word in my life.

“Dad, please. 
I don’t want to
think about him.
I don’t want to talk about him and I definitely don’t want you to go after him.”

“Delaney, he needs to pay for what he did!”
h
e said, echoing Logan’s words from that night.

“Thank you Dad, but someone else got to him first
,
”
I
said, wondering just what
else
Logan
had done
to Chad.  “He’s been punished.”

“It’s not enough!”
h
e said, and then walked out of the room with his hands balled into fists.

My mom hugged me to her again.  “What are you going to do
,
honey?”

“I’m going to keep her
,
”
I
said
, rubbing my stomach
.

“Her?”

“Yes, it’s a girl
,
” I said, tearing up while remembering the ultrasound that Logan
and
I
had
watched
together
in amazement.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Yes.”

“Were you staying with the young man that you
’re
so obviously
in
love
with
?
  Was he the ‘roommate’ that you mentioned when you called?”

“Yes
,
” I said, the tears silently streaming down my face.

“What happened with him
?”
s
he asked.

“He took me in
and
took care of me
.  J
ust like th
at
night
…
the night
it happened.”
             
“
He’s t
he same man that took care of you that night?”

“Yes.  He lives on the island.
  But, I knew him from school.
”

“You were with him
,
all this time?”

“Yes.  I love him.”

“Were you…
never mind, I don’t care, I’m just so glad you’re home.”

We talked a while longer, clearing the air.  Finally I started up the stairs to go to bed when my dad came up and hugged me.  “I’m so sorry
,
honey.”  He pulled back and as he started to walk away
,
I swore I saw a tear rolling down his face.

“Dad, I’m fine, really
,
”
I called after him.

He nodded his head but kept walking.

I crawled into bed, holding tight to Logan’s shirt.

My mom came upstairs to tuck me in, which I thought was
a
very sweet
gesture
.  She sat down next to me and asked if she could touch my belly.

“Sure.”
  Everyone else had.

She smiled at me when she felt the baby move.  “Have you been taking good care of yourself?”

“He took very good care of me
,
Mom
,
” I said sadly.

“You’ve obviously been to a doctor?”

“Yes, he took me…
each
time.”

“I’m kind of curious about the shirt
,
Delaney?”

“It’s his.”

“What happened
,
honey?  Don’t take this wrong
.
I’m thrilled you’re home, but why aren’t you
still
with him?”

“Because he isn’t mine
,
” I said,
and
then sobbed into the pillow
, hugging the only
piece of Logan that I had left…
his shirt.

I cried for hours, unable to stop
thinking of
Logan.
  I finally cried myself to sleep
.  When I woke up
the next morning
, I knew that it was time to go talk to Brian and Molly. 

I walked downstairs
and heard my mother on the phone.

“Yes.  She’
s here.  She’s fine.  Are you…
?
Yes
, I’ll tell her.”

My mom turned and saw me in the doorway.  I knew who was on the phone, but I
refused to talk to him
.
I shook my head no when she started to hand the phone to me. 
I couldn’t let
him weaken m
y resolve. 

She hung up the phone and said, “
He
was making sure you were
home
safe.”

“I know.”
  I was reminded of Brian doing the same thing a few months earlier.

“Maybe you should call him
.  H
e said to tell you that he loves you
and nothing else matters
.
”

“Mom,
I need to go see Brian and Molly.  Then I need to go spend some time with Aunt Vickie.  W
hen
he
comes here, please don’t tell him where I am
,
” I said,
fighting back the tears
.

“You’re leaving?”
s
he asked, obviously upset.

“Only for a while.  He’s going to come for me and I can’t be here
w
hen
he does
.”

“Delaney, you can’t run forever.”

“Mom, I have to do this.  Please understand that I love him and if he comes here I’ll give in and I can’t. 
I can’t let him give up everything for me and a baby that’s not his. 
I’m doing this
for
him.”

“If you love him and he’s coming for you, then he must love you
,
too.  Certainly you can work it out.”

“MOM, he’s married!” I said, knowing that would finally put an end to our conversation.

“He’s married?
  How old is this man?
”

“
It doesn’t matter, but he is married
,
” I whispered.

“You were living with a married man?”
s
he asked, shocked.

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand.  Where was his wife?”

“They don’t live together.  Mom
,
please just trust me and don’t tell him where I went.  Okay?  When I’m sure he’s given up, I’ll come home.”

“I don’t like this
,
Delaney.  I don’t like any of it.  I want you to stay home.”

“I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Before the baby comes?  We have so much to do to get ready for my granddaughter.” 

“Thank you
,
Mom.  Thank you for understanding and for accepting this baby
,
” I said.

“She’s a part of you
.  H
ow can she not be wonderful?”  Once again Logan’s words echoed
through the room.

“I love you
,
Mom.  Thank you.  I need
to go see Molly and Brian now.
”

“Will you be okay?”

“I
’m not sure, but I have to go
.”

I called my aunt Vickie to ask her if it would be okay if I came to stay with her for a while.  She was thrilled and said my room would be ready the second I got there.  Everything was starting to fall into place
.   “
T
hen why do you feel so horrible?
”
I asked myself as I was heading out the door on my way to Brian’s house.

I walked slowly to Brian’s house, remembering the last time I saw him,
and
how
badly
I had
hurt
him
.  As I headed down his street, h
is
front window came into view and
the pain I had felt that day returned and hit me full force.  I was resolved not to cry, to get through this without tears
, so I kept walking
. 

I walked up the steps of his porch, took a deep breath and knocked on the door.  Christine opened the door and she took a deep breath, obviously not happy to see me.  “Delaney?”
s
he almost whispered.

“Hi Christine
,
I was hoping to talk to you…
and Brian for a few minutes.”

“Delaney
,
honey, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  I feel for you,
I do,
but he’s been hurt enough.”

“I know.  I don’t want to hurt him again, but he needs to know the truth.  I need to tell you both the truth.
  Please.
”