Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (31 page)

He laughed dryly
and shook his head, staring off into the woods near where Annie had
disappeared. “Just some kid we found…at the beginning.” He glanced at his
sister, his lips curving into a smile filled with regret. “Nessa and me, all we
had was each other at first. Then we found Annie, and then my brother showed
up…and then we made the mistake of coming down here.” He looked at me.

I tilted my head
to the side and searched his guarded eyes. “So, why
did
you guys come
all the way down here?”

Carlos inhaled
and opened his mouth.

“To be safe!”
Vanessa exclaimed, cutting him off before he could say anything. “Huh, Jesse?”
She was staring at a space beyond the end of the picnic table as though
somebody were standing there. She cackled for a moment, which seemed to be her
go-to response to pretty much anything, then grew serious and started nodding.
“It
was
mean of that guy to shoot you.” Her eyes shifted, and she glared
at Carlos. “It’s not nice to shoot people.”

“Uh…” I frowned.
“What’s she talking about?”

Carlos heaved a
huge sigh. “Jesse, our brother, kept talking about this place in Tahoe where
there were a bunch of survivors and shit. So, when we realized there was
nothing left for us up in Yakima, we decided to come down here.” He shrugged.
“Turned out this guy—Cole—had
made
Jesse bring us down here…like with
mind control.” Carlos cleared his throat, his eyes becoming glassy, his gaze
distant. “He shot Jesse when we got here—killed him—and then made me shoot at
Nessa, but the bullet barely touched her arm. At least she was able to get away
with Annie before I could really hurt her.”

I stared at him
and his sister, at a loss for words.

“I know she’s a
Crazy,” he said, turning his face to watch Vanessa continue her conversation
with a hallucination of their dead brother. “But I
have
to take care of
her.” He returned his gaze to me, his expression sorrowful but determined. “If
that means I have to leave the rest of you…”

I reached across
the table and took hold of his hand, strip of beef jerky and all. “Don’t be an
idiot. You’re family.”

23

ZOE

MAY 22, 1AE

Petaluma, California

With my eyes
closed and my fingers playing with the onyx fringe of Shadow’s mane, I turned
my face to the sun and basked in its warm rays. I groaned in
springtime-euphoria. I’d been impatiently waiting for spring for months, and
now, like everything else that seemed to have popped up over the past month, it
was finally here.

Amid my impromptu
sunbathing, I could hear little blackbirds chirping. I knew from the
couple of hours Shadow and I had been standing like sentinels outside the feed
store that the blackbirds were hopping around the parking lot, looking for
dropped seeds in and around the discarded food bins and perched on the
forgotten forklifts behind the store.

Opening my eyes,
I watched them, careless and oblivious to all that had happened in the world.
One blackbird in particular had decided we weren’t nearly as threatening as the
rest of his friends thought, and he was venturing closer and closer…only to fly
away when Shadow flicked his tail.
Maybe next time I should bring my
sketchbook.
While what I was doing was important—keeping my feelers open
for any approaching danger—it was a good time to sketch, to document and write
down what we were finding, what we’d seen, and what we’d learned about
surviving.

Typically, being
on intruder watch meant I needed to be on high alert, but now I was so in tune
with my Ability—a result of all the electrotherapy sessions—that it was easy to
multitask, at least so far. It had been over two weeks since we’d left Lake
Tahoe, two weeks since I’d told Dani that my Ability felt different, and only
now did I know to what extent. Now, as we neared the coast, it seemed that
using my Ability had become effortless.

I could cast my
feelers out for any unsettling minds that wandered too close. I didn’t need my
eyes to know when danger was near because I could sense people—their emotions,
their memories…the essence of who they were. I could reach further distances, a
solid mile at least, and I didn’t have to worry about learning things others
wanted to keep private unless I was purposefully looking. I could separate
memories from emotions like they were oil and water. I could turn my Ability on
and off at will.

Along with my
memory returning, I was able to get back into a routine that felt more…me. I
still helped Dani manage the horses each day and helped Ky scout for danger up
ahead when we needed to find a place to rest each night, but I’d also earned
myself a spot on a scavenging team whenever an extra scout was needed. I’d
resumed self-defense and archery training just as intensely as I’d been doing
before losing my memory and helping Harper gather and organize medical supplies
when the opportunity presented itself. I had a purpose again, but even though I
felt useful, something still felt off…

Leaning against
Shadow, feeling his coarse mane between my fingers as I idly combed through it,
I gazed out at the lowering sun. I’d seen many stunning sunsets over the past
few months—traveling through Colorado, Utah, Nevada, and now through Northern
California—but this sunset felt different, like it meant something. I figured
it was just my antsiness that made it feel different, because tomorrow, I would
go home.

Home. It was a
place I both longed and loathed to visit. Returning there was one of the most
petrifying things I could think of doing, more disturbing than seeing a wall of
corpses and more unsettling than having a gun pointed at my face.

And my dreams had
returned, haunting me like they used to. Sometimes my mom had a face, but it
was distorted and permanently etched in a sneer, her voice cold and flat and
menacing. Other times, she resembled herself—Dr. Wesley—but the malevolent
gleam in her eyes continued to disturb me, even when I was awake. But none of
those dreams were as horrible as the truth.
My mom is alive. She created the
Virus. She lives with the General. She has a family with him…

I let out a
frustrated sigh. I
needed
to go home. It was all I had left of my dad,
and I needed to say goodbye, and somehow I needed to leave all the disquieting
memories of my past behind when I closed the front door for the final time.

No matter how
honorable my mom’s intentions had been twenty-five years ago, she still killed
billions of innocent people to save Jason, Dad, and me. She took Becca from
Jake, Grams from Dani, and Dad from me…and I hated her for that. Part of me
wondered how I could hate her when she was my mom, but the rest of me wondered
how I could possibly forgive her. Was I even supposed to try? The questions
looped through my mind, making it impossible to think of much else. Every time
I thought I’d come to terms with my feelings toward her, thought I’d settled in
to despising her, forgiveness and longing threatened to wash away all my anger
and fear.

Shadow turned to
me, nudging my belt buckle with his nose. He let out a chuff of air, and his
impatience made me smile.

“Uh-oh, was I
neglecting you?” His eyes blinked sleepily as I began stroking his sleek,
muscled neck. “So sorry. What was I thinking?”

…
about Mom and why I can’t forgive her.
I had to continuously remind myself that
she was a horrible person. I couldn’t just forgive her for what she’d done…what
she was still doing. But it was never as simple as black and white,
because I couldn’t truly hate her, either. She was also the person who saved
me, who helped save Dani…she was my mom.

Diverting my
thoughts to something less unsettling, I stretched my feelers a bit and focused
on the mood inside the feed store, where Jake, Chris, and Ky were gathering the
last of the horse tack, grain, and assorted pet food we needed for the dogs and
goats. Inside, the team’s mood seemed pleasant enough, so I let them be, happy
to be out in the sunshine on my own.

It was nice to
get away from camp every once in a while
—mostly because
I felt like an ass around Tavis, no matter
how nice he was about my momentary fickleness and mixed messages. Nothing had
happened between us, not really. But I was kicking myself for putting everyone
in an awkward position. And being around Sarah was hard, too. She’d been such a
loyal, kind friend, and I’d gone snooping around in her mind, finding nothing
to make me feel uneasy, and yet I still did. She wasn’t stupid; she knew I was
acting differently around her, and I hated that I couldn’t tell her why.

Wiping the
moisture from my brow, I glanced down at Shadow. “Is it just me or is it
getting too hot in the sun?” He simply stared ahead, his head hanging
languorously as his eyelids grew heavier. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s park it in
the shade.”

Welcoming any
form of movement, Shadow perked right up as we headed to the shade of a few
eucalyptus trees lining the side of the lot. I loosened Shadow’s reins so he
could graze on a small patch of weeds growing beneath the trees.

At the sound of a
dull thump behind me, I glanced over my shoulder to find Jake loading two large
bags of dog food into the cart.

“Is that the last
of it?” I asked. It was his ninth trip to the cart, and I wasn’t sure how much
more we could really carry.

Jake grunted.
“Close, I hope. They’re picking out a pair of chaps to take back to Harper.”

I pouted my
bottom lip. “And they didn’t invite me?”

Wiping his hands
off on his jeans, Jake walked toward me, a heart-stopping smile curving his
lips. I liked the appraising way he studied me now—my old boots donned, my tank
top and jeans, my new haircut. He acted like he was still trying to get used to
me being back to
me
, even though it had been a couple weeks.

“It’s going to be
a beautiful sunset tonight,” I said, trying to stay in the moment.

“Yeah?” Jake came
around behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You smell like a
barn,” I said, wiping away the loose alfalfa flakes and grain dust from his
arms.

He squeezed me
more tightly. “Is that good or bad?” It was so wonderful to feel him again…not
the Jake who’d accepted the other me and loved me the best he could, but
my
Jake.

“Oh, it’s good,”
I said, a devious lilt to my voice. I craned my neck so I could see him.

“You’re so
weird.”

I shrugged. “I
can’t help it. It’s true. It’s nostalgic, I think…it reminds me of when we were
back at the ghost town.” I eyed him, waiting for the memory of the morning we
first made love to click into place in his mind.

Shaking his head,
he let out a soft chuckle.

“Wanna sit down
and watch the sun sink behind the hills with me?” I asked.

His amber eyes
met mine again. They looked molten in the dying sunlight. He grinned wryly. “Aren’t
you supposed to be working?”

“Ha. Ha. You’re
so funny. I can do two things at once, you know. Watching a sunset isn’t overly
exerting.”

“Only two things,
huh?” His smile broadened. “Can you do
more
than two things at once?” he
asked, his voice holding a seductive edge that made it impossible not to smile
back. He kissed the side of my neck.

“I’m determined
to,” I said, closing my eyes and wishing we could be alone for a few hours. “Ky
will feel anything I miss…” I lost my train of thought as Jake brushed my hair
away from the back of my neck, trailing his lips up and down my skin, bringing
chills to its surface. I felt him smile against my neck, and I shivered.

“I wouldn’t want
to risk your spot on the scavenging team,” he said with feigned seriousness.
“You’re in a probation period right now, and you’re already failing miserably.”

I barked a laugh.
“Entrapment, huh?” Prying his hands from around me, I stepped away and turned
to face him completely. Jake’s response was a mere wink, and I shook my head.
“You’re a horrible tease,” I said and dropped his hands.

Entwining my
fingers with Jake’s, I plopped down against one of the tree trunks, tugging him
down with me. Only, he resisted.

I looked up at
him. “You joining me?” I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

He raised an
eyebrow and gave me a sidelong glance. “You’re gonna get me fired from the
scavenging team. I’m supposed to be working.”

I rolled my eyes.
“Doing what? Shopping for chaps to wear with Harper?” I let out a tiny laugh at
the thought. “We can enjoy a sunset while they’re doing that. Besides…” I patted
the space next to me. “We can consider this research.”

“Research?” he
asked, lowering himself down beside me. The scent of him filled my senses
again, leather and hay and something minty.

“We can
experiment,” I said, letting my voice drop to a seductive purr.

Jake positioned
himself behind me, leaning back against the tree trunk and urging me to rest
against him.

With one of his
arms across my middle and the other draped casually over his bent knee, I
twisted around to see the face that made my insides burn with welcomed desire.
“We can test the multitasking facet of my Ability…see how much I can exert
myself while staying focused and alert.”

He chuckled, a
low, easy sound that made it impossible not to swoon. It was so good to hear
him laugh.

“You don’t think
so?” I let out a soft chuckle of my own and leaned back against him again.

“I think it’s a
great idea…when we don’t have an audience.”

“If you say so,”
I said, only partially dejected. “Maybe next time.” There was something
thrilling about flirting with Jake. He was so strong and serious most of the
time that goading him was like tempting a lion; beneath his rugged beauty was a
physical prowess and hunger that made him dangerously alluring.

Refocusing on the
lowering sun, I marveled at the bright orange already streaking across the sky,
at the clouds cast in a rosy hue. “Look at that,” I said, gazing up at the
frosted sky that looked good enough to eat. “I couldn’t sketch something so
beautiful if I tried.”

I rested my head
back against his shoulder, losing myself in the sound of his deep, even
breathing and the strong, thrumming bass of his heartbeat. I sighed in
contentment and closed my eyes.

Jake lowered his
lips to my ear. “What are you thinking about?” he whispered. Before I could
answer, his mouth gently brushed the side of my neck again, sending another
wave of shivers rushing over my skin.

“Is that so,” he
said, his voice light with amusement.

I could never
get tired of this…
Opening
my eyes briefly, I saw the sky was glowing poppy red, and I closed them again.

“You’re tired.”
Tenderly, Jake brushed a stray wisp of hair from my face.

I yawned in
answer, and snuggled up closer to him.

Abruptly, his
body tensed against me, and I opened my eyes to peer up at him.

“Is it the
dreams?” he asked.

Righting myself,
I let out a dallying breath and glanced around at the parking lot—the
blackbirds had gone for the night, and Chris and Ky were still inside, Chris’s
laughter carrying on the light breeze. “I’m fine. It’s just taking some time to
acclimate, I think.”