Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (34 page)

I stepped over
the threshold, feeling a little creeped out. The quietness was eerie, as was
Jason’s apparent absence, and not even the comforting combination of cinnamon,
chamomile, wax, and pine scents could ease my burst of anxiety.

“Jason?” I
repeated, a little louder. “Where are—”

“Upstairs, Red,”
he called, his voice seeming to float down the stairs and echo in the hallway
leading to the back of the house.

I jumped.
Pressing my hand to my chest in a vain effort to still my now-racing heart, I
hurried through the kitchen and down the hall, my footsteps sounding too loud
on the linoleum and hardwood. I made my way up the carpeted stairway, taking
the first few steps two at a time but slowing as I neared the top.

“Jason, wha—” I
stopped in the hallway just outside my bedroom, my mouth falling open as I
stared at Jason through the open doorway. The little sprig of lavender slipped
out of my fingers.

There, in the
center of the room, surrounded by my antique furniture and delicate ivory and
lavender decor and wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white button-down shirt
that looked far too pristine to be a part of his post-apocalyptic wardrobe,
knelt Jason…on one knee…smiling a small, tight-lipped smile that altered the
curve of his scar. It was a secret smile he only ever showed to me and, even
then, only on rare occasions.

My breath was
nonexistent.

Jason’s eyes
seemed deeper, bluer, more intense than usual as he stared back at me. “The
world’s gone to shit, and the only time I feel anything anymore is when I’m
with you.” He chuckled, letting his dimple show. “The messed up part is, I feel
better,
happier
, around you than I ever did back when the world was
whole. I never thought I was capable of this—this…” He shook his head. “Of
caring about someone so much that I would do
anything
for them,
be
anything
for them…
give up
anything for them. But that’s how I feel every time I
look at you.”

Those sapphire
eyes blazed into me. “As far as I’m concerned,” he said, “there’s you and
me…and then there’s everyone else. You’re the only one I refuse to live
without.”

I swallowed,
opening my mouth and shutting it again without saying a word.

“Which is why I
want to give you this,” he said, extending his fist. He turned his hand over
and uncurled his fingers, revealing a tiny wooden circle resting on the center
of his palm.

A ring. Does
that mean—

“I can’t stand
the idea of another day, another
minute
going by without you knowing—I
mean really, truly knowing, deep in your bones—that I love you.” He fell
silent, seeming to wait for me to do something, to say something.

When I did
neither, simply stood in the doorway, utterly dumbfounded, he rose and slowly
made his way toward me. He stopped in front of me and gazed down at me, his
eyes filled with so much warmth and hope and love and passion—too much.

Tears welled in
my eyes from the intensity of the emotions shining in those
blue
blue depths.
“I—I…” I couldn’t find the right words, probably because I couldn’t wrap my
mind around
anything
he’d just confessed.

He reached his
hand up to stroke the backs of his fingers down the side of my face. “Happy
tears, I hope…”

I nodded dumbly.
They were the happiest tears that ever existed. They were the kind of tears
that would run circles around smiles and giggles and laughter.

Jason smiled,
just a bit, and lowered his hand. “I’ve never been religious, and I know it’s
not your thing either, but I also know how much you value your grandma’s
culture”—he touched the Claddagh medallion lying snug and warm against my
chest, then lowered his hand to brush his fingertips over the black Celtic knot
tattooed on my wrist—“so I thought this would mean more to you than any
ceremony or vows.” He raised his hand and once again opened it, giving me a
better view of the ring.

Made from a pale
golden wood that was almost the color of honey and striated with slivers of
brown, the ring had been carved by a deft hand into a more intricate and
delicate piece of jewelry than I would have thought possible. Just like the
silver medallion I wore around my neck at all times—a gift from my grandpa to
Grams on their wedding night—the wooden ring had been carved into the shape of
two hands holding a crowned heart. A Claddagh ring.

I stared at it,
wide-eyed and even more astonished than I’d been when I’d first caught sight of
Jason down on one knee. “Jason, I—did you…did you
make
that?”

“I did.” His
voice was a quiet, low rumble, barely more than a whisper. “And this one.”
Again, he raised his left hand, but this time he stopped short of touching my
face. Another ring, twin to the one sitting on his palm in every way other than
its larger size, had been fitted around his ring finger. The heart pointed
inward, signifying that he was taken, that his heart belonged to someone. To
me
.

Slowly shaking my
head, I raised my eyes to meet his. “But when did you…?”

“I had to do
something during all those nights I was on watch.” He shrugged, dismissing what
was easily the kindest, most generous and thoughtful gift anyone had ever given
me as unimportant. “Might as well have been making something to show you that
when I say I love you, I mean it…that when I tell you I want to be with you
forever, not just right now, I mean it.”

I wet my lips
with my tongue, swallowing roughly before speaking. “God, I love you…and I want
to be with you forever, too.” I raised my right hand, reaching for the little
wooden ring with shaking fingers. I was breathing harder than usual, my heart
beating faster than was necessary, as I slipped it onto my left ring finger,
the heart pointing inward. It fit perfectly.

The happiest
tears on earth spilled over the brims of my eyelids, streaking down my cheeks
as I smiled at Jason. I reached up, placing my hands on either side of his
face, drinking in the wondrous sight of him, reddish scar and all. “
And
I want to be with you
right now
,” I whispered, standing on tiptoes as I
pulled his head down.

Our lips touched
without any hesitancy, igniting a kiss that was filled with so much love and
passion and wanting, that was so sustaining, so fulfilling, that I didn’t think
either of us even needed air. Jason’s hands were on my cheeks and jaw, behind
my neck, on my shoulders, snaking around my waist, moving wherever he needed
them to be to pull me closer to him.

We moved a few
steps in some direction and suddenly a wall was against my back, and I was
being sandwiched between it and the hard heat that was Jason’s body. His kiss
was relentless, demanding more from me. Always more. His hands traveled down
the sides of my body, blazing hot trails of desire that pooled low in my
abdomen, smoldering, aching, needing. Those hands ended up on my backside, and
with a solid grip, Jason lifted me, guiding my legs around his hips.

We’d been here
before, like this before, but we’d been interrupted by approaching Crazies.
There were no more Crazies in the town, and I would be damned if I was about to
let anything else get in the way of us consummating the epic exchange we’d just
shared.

“If you…stop,” I
told him between gasping breaths and hungry kisses, “I will…kill you…so
many…many…times.”

Jason pulled me
away from the wall and spun me around, carrying me further into the bedroom. I
already had his shirt almost all the way unbuttoned by the time he lowered me
onto the bed, only missing the bottom two buttons, which had been wedged
between us. I quickly undid the final two, and he shrugged the shirt off,
tugging his undershirt over his head in one smooth motion.

That simple
unveiling sparked a flurry of disrobing, our hands fighting to unbutton, to
unzip, to pull off…until finally, there was no more clothing between us.

As Jason lay atop
me, nothing separated us anymore—not fabric, not secrets, not unexpressed
emotions.

“God, I love you
so fucking much, Red,” Jason said, his voice hoarse. “So fucking much.” With a
grunt, he shifted his hips, and there was no more speaking, no more thought.
There was only the two of us and the feeling of our bodies being joined
together. Nothing else—
nobody
else—mattered. Just him and me. Together.

~~~~~

“So…what do I
call you now?” I asked, snuggling closer against Jason’s side as he wrapped the
pale, vine-embroidered comforter and ivory sheets more tightly around us both.
I felt like every bone and muscle in my body had been replaced with
jelly—happy, tingly, satisfied jelly.

“Hmmm…” Laughing
softly, he pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I know it’s crazy, but…how
about ‘Jason’?”

I turned my face
up to his, pretending to glare. “You know what I mean.” Lowering my head, I
rested my cheek on the firm muscle below his collarbone. “Are you still just my
boyfriend, or are you my uber-boyfriend? My perma-boyfriend? My
partner
?”
I wrinkled my nose, not liking the sound of the last.

“Husband?” Jason
said, his voice so quiet that the single word was barely audible.

I gulped, and my
heart rate quadrupled. “Husband,” I repeated just as quietly. “Which would make
me—”

“My wife,” Jason
said, louder and sounding more sure of himself.

I glanced up at
him, and when I saw the sheer contentment softening his features, my heart
soared. I couldn’t stop smiling. I grinned so wide and for so long that my
facial muscles ached and my lips trembled.

Minutes passed
with nothing but the muffled sounds of our hearts beating and our slowing
breaths, until finally, Jason sighed. “We’ve been gone for hours, and it’ll be
getting dark soon. We should get back.”

I looked up at
his face, resting my chin on his shoulder. “Can’t we stay here for the night? I
mean, isn’t this technically our
wedding night
?” I
giggled. “Shouldn’t we stay here and do wedding night things?”

Closing his eyes
and tensing his features into a pained expression, Jason groaned. “If only we
could. But what if something happened to the others while we were—”

“No, no…you’re
right. Of course you’re right.” I frowned, disappointed that our moment of
alone time would be so short-lived…memorable, but short-lived. I kissed his
shoulder, then his neck and his jawline, and finally his lips. “Come on,” I
said, sitting up and tugging the blankets off of Jason in the process. “Let’s
go.”

Ten minutes
later, we were walking out the front door. Jason paused just outside the door,
pulling a key out of the front pocket of his jeans and using it to lock the
deadbolt.

I raised my
eyebrows in a silent question.

“Your grandma
kept a spare key in a flowerpot,” he said. “Sort of an obvious hiding place.”

I raised one
shoulder, dropping it quickly. “Seemed like a good idea at the time…not that it
matters anymore.” Wrapping my arms around my middle, I turned to stare out at
the fog blocking the view of the harbor.

Jason stepped up
behind me, covering my arms with his as he hugged me from behind.

“I miss her so
much,” I said, my voice tight with sorrow, and I knew Jason would understand
that I was talking about Grams.

“I know.”

We stood like that
for minutes, remembering those we’d lost, until finally, Jason released me and
stepped to the side. He took hold of my hand and raised it slightly, looking
down at my ring finger. “Do you like it?” There was hesitancy in his voice,
hesitancy and a hint of worry.

I looked at him, widening
my eyes in surprise. “Jason…I
love
it. More than I can ever express. I
don’t think I could ever come up with a gift that’ll mean so much to you.”

Jason gave my
hand a squeeze. “You already have, Red.”

I offered him a
small, bashful smile and felt my cheeks heat.

Hand in hand, we
descended the steps leading down to the front yard, and I was happier than I’d
ever thought was possible. We led the horses back toward the ranch, Jack loping
ahead, frolicking around bushes and between houses and cars that had been
parked so long that most probably wouldn’t start even if they had enough fuel.

The sun was just
beginning to slip behind the rolling hills to the east when we started up the
gravel driveway to the ranch.
As
we passed the rustic, old barn that stood slightly to the west of the stable, I
caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I thought I spotted Annie, strands
of blonde hair flailing behind her as she ran around the corner of the barn.

Annie giggled,
and the bubbly sound was immediately followed by a loud “Shhh!”

I raised my eyes
to meet Jason’s. His face was absolutely blank…
too
blank. He’d planned
the events that had unfolded at my house, leading to our spontaneous and
unofficial-but-no-less-permanent-in-our-hearts marriage, and I was starting to
wonder if that wasn’t
all
he’d planned.