Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life (21 page)

Even their daughter has noticed. While they haven't persuaded her to get up much earlier—she is a teenager, after all—she's started doing
her homework while her dad's working around the house and now calls for dad's limousine service—to take her to her friend's house or to the mall—on Saturday afternoon, by which time Stu is feeling a lot better about himself and his life.

He's so happy he'll even give her some extra cash to spend at the mall.

Moving on up: Stu soars

Stu has made great progress. Keep in mind that at this point he's really only begun to master the first three Rules of Order. It would be perfectly fine if he decided to stop right there. But Stu has decided to keep on soaring. He wants to employ the two “higher order” Rules of Order—which, as I've said, is often where real creative and organized thinking begins. He wants to plan a home office. His boss and two colleagues have long been working at home two days a week and have encouraged Stu to do the same because of the reduced stress and time in commuting, as well as luxurious quiet time for an intense focus on creative projects that require strategic thinking. Given the stress at home, the lack of a suitable home working space and Stu's concern about self-discipline and interruptions when not at work, it has never seemed like a good idea.

Now that Stu's frenzy was tamed, he began to think about the possibility more, even gaining a sense of adventure. One Sunday afternoon Stu asked Diane to help him think about all of the considerations that would help him make a decision. Diane suggested that she could stock the fridge with healthy food that he liked for breakfast and lunch; Stu began to imagine that he could use his commuting time for a morning workout. Stu remembered his boss's trick of setting a timer on a key project to provide urgency and a little self-competition—can I complete the project plan update with just the right amount of detail and share
with colleagues in under an hour? (Just as Megan did when she began to envision her bank campaign, what Stu, along with Diane's help, is doing here is to exercise working memory. He's molding information.)

Diane and Stu began to sketch out a layout for an office in the spare bedroom and plan where to put its current contents. Something Stu had yearned for is an office with a window, and that's what his home office could deliver. The savings in gas and parking expenses in a year could pay for a new flat-screen HD television for Sunday football.

Yet at the same time, Stu could vividly picture the downsides. He was so easily distracted. How could he not be sidetracked with temptations at home? Watch television? Run an errand? Deal with people at the door? Talk to Diane? Play with their dog? He would feel worse in the end if they invested in creating a home office and he felt more disorganized and less productive than he already is.

While Stu had stocked his working memory with all of the considerations around working from home, he still felt ambivalent, stuck on the fence. Where would the insight or shift in perspective come from?

As I coached Stu, I helped him think about the pros and cons of the home office. Stu felt motivated—he wanted to be fitter, healthier and more productive. He also liked the idea of saving money on gas and spending less time commuting. However, his confidence was lacking. He had worked in an office environment his whole life, and this would represent a big change. What insight was needed to gain confidence and to see things in a fresh light?

One Saturday morning, he bumped into a buddy at the gym. “Stu, I've been watching you from the other side of the weight room,” his friend said. “You've been here going nonstop from station to station for 45 minutes. I remember a year ago you told me that you could never stand coming here, that you got bored after a few sets and quit.”
Stu realized his friend was right; he was self-motivated and he could sustain an hour workout now. In part, that was because he liked the results he was seeing (his pecs and biceps were reappearing, neither seen in some years). Plus, Stu had lost a couple inches from his waist; he could now walk briskly for 45 minutes without huffing and puffing. Clearly, he had succeeded in getting himself back into shape and better health habits.

Maybe, Stu wondered, as he related the story to me the following week, he'd get some similarly big results if he developed the focus needed to work creatively and productively at home.

Eureka! That was it: Stu's set shifted. He was now looking at the home office from a new perspective. Stu rose to the occasion; the home office was a stretch for him, just like his workouts had been. If he was successful in working at home, he'd feel at least as good as he did about his pecs and biceps (which were appreciated, too, by Diane).

HOW MEGAN AND STU PUT IT ALL TOGETHER

What we've shown through the stories of Megan and Stu is the real prize of organizing our brains. When we've cleared the frenzy and distraction landmines, focused attentively and assembled our working memory, new insights arrive. The big picture comes into view, as if the clouds have lifted and there it is. That's the moment when we feel as if life's chaos has lifted for at least a while. We are clear about our direction and confident in the process it takes to get there.

It's a wonderful feeling.

Obviously, their situations were different than yours. But I suspect that you can see a little of yourself and your life in some part of Megan's or Stu's. And there are some lessons we can all learn from their experiences, as we try to better organize our own lives:

Start with one domain to work on

It could be your job, your family, your relationship or (as was the case with Stu) the need to take charge of your own health, but pick the domain where you're most determined to succeed—and the one in which you have the most confidence of success (hopefully, that confidence has been buoyed by now having a better understanding of the tools and Rules of Order). That doesn't mean you're going to disregard the problems in your life that may seem more intractable. You will get to them in due time. But we in the coaching business have learned that success breeds success.

Have faith

The progress you make in the domain you choose to work on will spill over to other domains. The more skilled you are at taming frenzy and impulses, or assembling a rich working memory, the quicker and more effectively you'll be able to apply those skills to the next domain you choose to work on.

Approach it as a challenge

While they may have had trepidations at the start and some natural setbacks along the way, both Megan and Stu (and hundreds of other clients I've worked with) began to really enjoy and take satisfaction with the process and the progress they made as they began to get their lives together. That's the right attitude to start with: yes, you may feel frenzied or out of sorts or overwhelmed right now, but as we attack this problem and as you begin to slowly but surely take the steps outlined in this book, follow the tips we've suggested and eventually pull it all together, you should be deriving satisfaction from the journey. Getting yourself better organized is good for your overall health (physical, mental
or emotional), and it can be satisfying and rewarding—and, yes, fun, if you approach it that way.

Remember the constant of change

Life is full of surprises, some good, others…well, not so much. Even with all of the work we've done to rise above the weeds to the clear blue sky, peace of mind can be quickly rocked by new events. Enjoy and appreciate both the moments along the way of getting organized as well as the great vista when you get there. It may not last long! Fortunately you now have the skill to get
re
organized; you can follow the rules again to get to the inner peace that comes from moving from chaos to order—a point we will consider more closely in our final chapter.

A
N ORGANIZED MIND ANTICIPATES AND WELCOMES THE FUTURE.
That's what this final chapter is about: how to stay organized in the future; a future that many predict will be so technologically advanced with gadgets so powerful that our minds cannot possibly cope.

Yes, the pundits are already wringing their hands over this. “The online world has merely exposed the feebleness of human attention, which is so weak that even the most minor temptations are all but impossible to resist,” wrote one critic in
The New York Times.
Another article raised the question “Is Google making us stupid?” and concluded that our own intelligence is “flattening.”

If you are worried that your brain is flatlining and that it may not be up to the tasks of dealing with the next Google, Facebook or Twitter—or even more significantly, with the supercomputers, nanotechnology and robotics that, futurists tell us, are going to be the major technological breakthroughs of the next couple of decades—let me reassure you: you're up to the task.

Yes, your brain and these Rules of Order are powerful, powerful tools. They will carry you far, no matter what the advances in technology. We do not have to feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of information being birthed on the planet. Instead, we can thoughtfully take in whatever we choose, provided, of course, that we're calm, focused, flexible…all the things we've talked about in this book.

There has been a lot of imagery used in the earlier chapters to describe various brain functions. The one simple image that comes to my mind when I think of the organized mind is a pyramid of building blocks: each rule building upon itself to get you to new heights. As Coach Meg pointed out in the last chapter, it's a good view from up there, once you get out of the weeds of disorder—a good view not only of your present but to the future and to what is coming down the road.

Having now summited the pyramid of organization (or close to it, I'm sure), you are well equipped to handle the future. Not only do you have the view from the top, but you have each building block in place to work again for you.

As you come face to face with the future, you can count on these Rules of Order again and again. Think of the latest blitz of hype about a new “must-have” gadget—one that will make your life easier and more efficient and you faster, stronger and able to leap small buildings with a single bound. Is this really something that will rock your world? Is this really the “killer app,” the game-changer, the PC or iPod or cell phone that will truly change the way you work or play?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

The first response is to take a breath, and consider that it—whatever
it
is—was inevitable. You could have almost predicted it. At this writing, for example, Facebook is the most popular social media tool on the planet, claiming 500 million active users. But at a recent conference, we heard a tech consultant predict that five years from now no one will
remember it. I tend to doubt that (reruns of the film
The Social Network
at least will ensure its longevity). Still, we understand the point: that Facebook and Twitter and YouTube and MySpace will be joined by other forms of social media—or even entire new genres of ways to communicate digitally—that we, writing in late 2011, can hardly conceive of.

But it's coming! And when “it” arrives, you don't need to panic. “This doesn't unnerve me,” you should say. “I've managed the changes in the past; I'll manage them in the future.” Indeed, you might want to think not about how this new technology will make your life more difficult but, rather, how you can use this technology to make life simpler, to enhance it, or to make you more effective.

So when the inevitable changes occur, remain calm and embrace perspective. This is where you use your attention, your working memory, your newfound mental flexibility. You keep your attention focused and your thinking on track. Think about how it seems like just yesterday that you were first introduced to texting, e-mail or mobile phones and how it took time for those technologies to become integrated in the workplace or home. How it was a gradual process, in which early versions of the new technology were improved upon, as major kinks were ironed out. You didn't start sending one hundred texts a day the first time you figured out how to do it. As social researchers have shown, the adoption of innovation takes time…even now.

Engaging your memory and your ability to think flexibly, you think to yourself, “If I did x, then probably y will happen, or maybe z. If instead I started with y, then x….” With self-talk, you run through different scenarios in your head. You are thinking beyond one moment in time; you are thinking, “How have I responded in the past, how did that work and how did that not work for me.” This thought process keeps you in charge and enables you to ask yourself, “What does this gadget or technology mean for my future?”

A calm, thoughtful perspective allows you to think really clearly about the latest approaches—whether they be new hardware, a new political candidate or a new mind-set. You will out-think the new gimmicks and see through the empty promises. Maybe you should embrace this new technology—take a tutorial at your earliest convenience and practice at home. Maybe you should use it sparingly. And maybe, just maybe, you don't need it at all! Regardless of which direction you go, you approach the decision thoughtfully, without fear or panic. Your attention is finely tuned and not reactive or impulsive. And it needs to be. Because again, as we've said from the beginning of the book, the world comes at you in a fast-paced, high-speed stream of real and virtual information, zooming right at you and blanketing you. But you don't need to live so fast. You can't live so fast that there is no room for real thought or calm perspective.

That's not a shopworn call to stop and smell the roses. We understand that life for many is too hectic to do that. What we're saying is that before you gun the engine right past the garden, or even worse, drive right over it and flatten the roses, use the tools you've learned—the tools of impulse control, calm, focus—to organize yourself and make a smart decision.

Granted it is sometimes difficult to take the approach we describe, as we are pushed to interact with the world as if it is one giant touch screen; we must flit from one image, one idea, one plan, one piece of information to another. So we need to continue to sustain our attention and use our working memory to mold information and to pause and remember what the goal of our current task is. If we don't work to
keep
our thinking on track, we could
lose
our minds online. The Internet can be a powerful, necessary working tool as well as a diversion. Don't confuse the two.

So before you start clicking away, think it through for a moment or two. Have a purpose or objective before you start searching. What
am I looking for? What am I attempting to find or learn and for what purpose? If you went to check a statistic for a report at work, and you find yourself scrolling through the batting statistics of your favorite team or some juicy new celebrity gossip…well, you've gone off track. You have become a momentary victim of the Distraction Epidemic! And while you might enjoy reading about Derek Jeter or Lady Gaga, you're going to waste time, and later, as you're pressed for time, you're going to feel more disorganized and more under the gun.

Over time, we will understand more about the influence of the Internet on our brain. Studies are beginning to emerge, again using the latest neuroimaging technologies to examine the brain's activity when it goes one on one with the Internet. One recent “techno-fascinating” study found differences in brain activation according to whether people had Internet experience or not. Brain activation (while on the net) was greater in people with Internet experience as compared to those without net experience; multiple brain areas were turned on, involving areas that have to do with decision making and organization. Is this a sign that with use the Internet can make us smarter, not more stupid? Or just make our brains work harder? Time will tell, but this intriguing study is another example of brain science showing us how the brain adapts and can change with experience.

Overall, regardless of the technology, or what the future brings, you must stay true to yourself and to your goals and aspirations: whether it's your plan for the moment, the week, the year or the next ten years. With this mind-set, you can set shift and embrace new worthy opportunities; these are hallmarks of an organized, 21st-century mind.

LAST WORDS FROM COACH MEG: THE “RE-ORGANIZED” MIND

We've talked about that time when you are able to rise out of the weeds of disorganization and into the clear skies, a peak moment when everything seems to fall into place and you are truly organized, thinking clearly and creatively. It's been the goal of this book to get you to that point.

Just don't count on it lasting too long.

As you've learned from Dr. Hammerness, the brain is a dynamic, changing organism. It is also true of the organized mind. It is not a permanent state, in response to our constantly changing world. The arrival of new upsets, new distractions, new life questions and new sources of frenzy, whether of our choosing or not, is a certainty. Perhaps you've got one domain under control—your relationship with your kids—when an upset occurs at work, your sister develops a health issue or you make a stretch commitment to a community project.

These new forces disturb the picture and brief periods of equilibrium. We gently spiral downward—although not too far—back into the weeds and lose sight of the blue sky for a while. Once again we are called to renew the process: refocus, refresh the commitment to handle impulses and move intentionally through insights to the vista where we can make sense of what matters and what doesn't and be on top again.

So let's revisit what you've already learned and use it to get back on track.

Rekindle your motivation

Recall
in
Chapter 2
that I explained that developing a more organized mind is a process of change and there are some important ingredients to have in place to make change that sticks. The first and foremost is
to find your internal motivation: what is driving you to want to have a more organized mind. Now that you've got a more organized mind, revisit what is driving you and make sure it's still burning hot, maybe even hotter as you're enjoying being organized. Perhaps you are energized by the sense of being in charge and in control of your life. Perhaps your mate and kids have remarked how relaxed you seem and how they appreciate your fun company. Maybe a coworker has noticed that you have gotten more confident and seem to be enjoying work more.

Harness your capacity to adapt and change

Back when you started reading Chapter 2, we talked about understanding your challenges (the “cons” for not changing) and developing strategies to overcome them. By now you've experimented with many strategies to sweep your brain clean and move confidently to the big picture. You inventoried your strengths, such as curiosity or love of learning, and you put them to work in service of your dream of an organized life.

Over time you've come up with a nice mix of habits that work to sweep away the frenzy, stay focused, populate your working memory and make leaps of insight. You practiced until they became automatic. Notice your enhanced capacity to experiment, create solutions and practice until new habits and brain pathways have formed.

You now have what it takes to make the best choices moment to moment. You have a lighter touch; you've become more nimble.

Connect with your body

You appreciate now more than ever that it's not all mental; the physical stuff is hugely helpful. If you've let go of these habits during a new period of change and disruption, now is the time to get back into it: sleeping better, exercising three times a week, meditating before you go to bed, eating lean protein at breakfast for brain energy or a bowl of blueberries
when you need an antioxidant boost and a quick ten-minute walk when you need to recharge. They will help you in so many ways, not the least of which will be your ability to get yourself
re
organized.

Appreciate how good focus feels

Remember when you struggled to stay focused on a task? Now you enjoy multiple focus episodes during your day and have started to relax into them and enjoy the ride without guilt or fretting, like getting on a bicycle or motorcycle and riding carefree on a sunny day. Enjoying an activity for its own sake. Ahhhh….

Get your heart and head working as a team

Now your emotions aren't strangers; they are friends and full of insights. When you pay attention, their wisdom helps you turn on a dime or stay on task, whichever is the best choice. You welcome your impulses and their gifts rather than resent them or jump on board mindlessly.

Launch all systems

With unfrenzied focus, you now amaze yourself with your new skill in consciously assembling all of the bits of working memory you need for any key task. How good it feels to have everything you need at your fingertips and to look out at all the things to keep top of mind! What fun it is to let go of the task with intention and jump into a new activity knowing that ideas will pop into your head when you least expect them to arrive. The pleasure of new insights arrives in a burst, like a delicious mouthful of your favorite food; your senses are awake and you feel alive.

Enjoy the view

If you've ever hiked up a mountain you know what it feels like to stand at the top and look in many or all directions, in awe of nature's beauty,
and to feel at one with the universe. When you arrived at the top of your last mountain, on top of the domain of life that you strived to organize, you appreciated the moments of awe and beauty. Remember those moments. The memories will keep you going as you move up the next mountain of your life.