Open Arms (8 page)

“Urgh,” Tammy said.

“Rum?” he asked.

“Better.”

“OK, let’s go.” He opened the door for her and supported her as they walked slowly down the hallway past the offices and the conference room. The staff looked up as they passed and got to their feet when they saw Tammy.

“What’s wrong?’ Andrea asked, alarmed. Tammy’s face was as white as parchment and she was shaking. “Tammy, are you OK?”

“Andrea, can you go to the bar and pour a shot of rum?” Rob asked. “And have Manny plate up a bit of food. Something hot. OK?”

“Sure.” Andrea hurried across the reception lobby and in to the restaurant.

“Come on,” Rob said. “Nice and slow. Take your time.”

Together, they walked past Maria and in to the bright, airy restaurant. Andrea had obviously said something to Jake and Julie, because they were already rushing across the room towards them.

“Tammy!” Julie grasped her hands. “What happened?”

Jake pulled out a chair, and Rob carefully set Tammy down in to it.

Andrea handed Tammy a glass. “Rum,” she said. “Take a sip.”

Tammy drank a bit, and felt the golden glow spread through her chest and stomach, blossom out to her fingertips. She stopped shaking and was able to give everyone a genuine smile.

“I’m OK, Jules.” Tammy was starting to feel stupid at all the fuss and attention. “I just had a bit of a shock. I saw a wolf when I was getting out of the truck and it scared me to death. Stupid, really, ‘cause the thing didn’t even move.”

“What?” Jake said. “It came back?”

“Well, I’m guessing it was the same one,” Tammy said, taking another small sip of the rum. “What are the chances of two wolves wandering around here?”

“We’ll talk to Kimana when she gets back,” Julie said. “I think this wolf is acting weird, personally.”

Everyone nodded.

“Talk to me about what?”

They turned to see Kimana entering the restaurant. Her dark eyes were watching them closely.

Julie explained what Tammy had seen and Rob took Kimana out to inspect the footprints. She stared down at them, confusion bright on her rounded face.

She glanced up at Rob. “This is strange.”

“Is it?”

“Yes. I don’t understand what this wolf is doing up here.”

“You mean, so close to people?”

“Exactly.” Puzzled, she looked around. “Let’s go back inside, talk to the others.”

In the restaurant, everyone sat down at the largest table. Jake offered coffee with shots of spiced rum in it, but Kimana asked for coffee without any alcohol. Phil joined them, sipping a cup of tea with honey. Andrea excused herself, saying that she had a report to finish for a client.

“OK,” Kimana said. “First, the wolf is male, no doubt about it. I can tell by the size of the paw prints. Second, it’s just one. I followed the tracks from outside the corral up the mountains, and back again, down to where Tammy saw the tracks this morning outside her window. I found a small cave where he obviously slept, so he’s got shelter up there.” She took a drink and looked thoughtful. “I don’t understand why he came back down here.”

“Food?” Rob suggested. “He was just twenty feet from the restaurant kitchen fire escape. Maybe he smelled food?”

Kimana shook her head. “No, I can’t think he’d be hungry. I found several carcasses in the mountains, so he’s obviously eating plenty. No, he came back down here for another reason.”

“What’s that?” Julie said.

“I have no clue.” Kimana looked at all of them. “He’s safe and warm and fed up in the Rockies, so he has no physical reason whatsoever to be close to you.”

Her choice of words struck Julie as odd. “What do you mean, a ‘physical’ reason? The way you said that, it’s like you think there’s a
non
-physical reason. What does that mean, when we’re talking about wolves?”

Kimana looked at her.
She caught that, did she?
Julie’s beautiful eyes were serious in her stunning face as she asked the question. She was, Kimana, decided, the most gorgeous woman she’d ever laid eyes on in her life, with a sweetness that was endearing. She was sitting next to the tall, dark-haired woman –
was her name Tammy?
– Julie’s generous body curved toward the other woman’s slim frame, protective and loving. Kimana saw the link between the two women, wondered how long they had been friends. Bonds like that don’t just happen overnight.

“Yes,” Kimana said. “I did choose my words carefully. See, when we’re talking about wolves, we’re talking about quite extraordinary creatures.”

“OK,” Jake said. “In what way?”

Kimana looked at all of them, debating how much to say. In her almost nine years of trying to educate people about wolves, she had never had much success convincing non-Natives about the mystical, mythical, magical aspects of wolves. She decided to test the waters.

“Well,” she said. “Wolves are highly emotionally intelligent. This one, he may be observing you, just to forge a connection of some kind.”

“A connection?” Phil said. “What kind of connection?”

Kimana shrugged. “It depends who he is actually observing.”

“Sorry, what?” Julie said.

“It depends which one of you he is most interested in. Which one of you he is actually watching.”

Silence greeted these words as everyone stared at her, a bit stunned. Jake recovered first.

“Which
one
of us?”

“Yes.” Kimana took a calm sip of coffee, watching the incredulity spread across their faces.

“But – but why would a wolf want to
watch
any of us? Or any human being at all, for that matter?”

“Many reasons, most of them not known to us.”

They all blinked at her.

“Look, I know what I’m saying is crazy,” she said gently. “I do. But where I come from, the wolf has very special significance in tradition and myth.”

Julie’s phone chimed suddenly, and everyone jumped a bit.

“Oh, damn,” she said. “Rob, we have that conference call in ten minutes.” She looked at Kimana, apologetic. “I’m sorry. We have to go.”

“Of course,” she said. “I have to leave soon, anyway.”

“Wait, you aren’t going to stay?” Rob asked. “With this wolf hanging around?”

Kimana shook her head. “No. Whatever is going on here, it’s between the wolf and one of you. I have no real place in this.”

“I see.” Julie looked confused. “Ummm. OK. So, thank you for coming all this way. Should we call you if we see the wolf again?”

“No. No need.”

“So, what do we do if we see him again?” Julie tried not to let her mounting frustration slip in to her tone or face.
Come on, lady! A bit of help here, please!

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Jake said.

“Nothing. I don’t think he’s here to hurt any of you.”

“So why is he here?” Phil asked.

“Somebody here knows,” Kimana said, looking around the table. “Somebody at Open Skies. Maybe they don’t
know
that they know, but they do.”

As they continued to stare at her, she got to her feet. “Goodbye, all.”

“Bye,” they all said, and watched her leave the restaurant. They turned to Phil.

“OK,” Tammy said. “Is she always like that?”

“Oh, yeah,” Phil said. “She talks in riddles, for sure, but she’s not often wrong about things. If she says that the wolf is here for one of us, to make a connection, then he is.”

“Oh, man. My head is spinning with all of this,” Julie said. “Rob, let’s go, OK? We can all talk about this a bit later.”

“I have to go too,” Jake said, getting to his feet. “I have lots to get done today down at the stables.”

Tammy and Phil nodded at the others, and then gazed at each other across the table. They were alone in the restaurant.

“How did you meet her?” Tammy asked. “Kimana?”

“She’s my sponsor.”

Tammy stared at him for a few seconds before the penny dropped. “Oh!”

“Yeah. We’re both in AA.”

“Are you allowed to – to tell me about her? Isn’t the whole point that it’s anonymous?”

“No, it’s OK.” Phil said. “She told me it was OK for me to tell you guys about her being my AA sponsor. I mean, everyone here knows I go to meetings, and they support me. None of it is a huge secret.”

“I see.” Tammy looked at him some more, taking in his large forearms and very sexy crinkles around his dark green eyes. Phil’s body was young and strong, like a fit and healthy thirty-year-old’s, but his face and eyes told a different story. His face was haggard and lined, his eyes were steady but faded. They were eyes that had seen too much violence and pain and bad things. More than the wrinkles, more than the shots of gray in his dark hair, Phil’s eyes made him old.

His solidity, though, that was something that confounded Tammy. Despite his past, and his alcoholism, and his prison time, he was steady and warm. Tammy felt calm and safe, just by sitting next to him, just by being around him. Phil was probably one of the most dangerous men she’d ever met – if she just looked at him on paper – but she’d never even felt any anger in him. No matter what he was like before, or how tough and dangerous he looked, or where he came from, she just wasn’t afraid of him. She had no reason to fear him. He wasn’t about to hurt her.

“I’ve been sober for about nine years now,” Phil said. “When I got out of jail the last time and Dave gave me the job here, I told him everything.” He looked down at his hands. “Dave had had a problem with drugs when he was younger, and he gave me a chance. He knew what I was up against, and he wanted to give me something good enough to fight for, to protect. Something I didn’t want to lose or screw up.”

“That was Open Skies?”

“Yep. I can’t say I’ve never had moments of weakness, ‘cause I have. But Kimana has been amazing, and so have Jake and Mattie. Everyone, really.”

Tammy smiled at him. “You’re lucky, Phil. I’m happy for you.”

He smiled back and that battered face just lit up. “Thanks, hon.” He glanced at his watch. “So, I’ve got to get back to work now. The kids from Clarity will be here soon to help take care of the horses, and I need to be there. You want me to walk you back to your cabin?”

Tammy thought about the wolf staring at her from just a few feet away, and she shivered. Those eyes had been so cold and calculating; emotionless and blank. She didn’t want to see the beast ever again, and she simply couldn’t understand Kimana’s love for the creatures, or Mattie saying that the wolf of her childhood had been beautiful.

“Yes, please,” she said. “I’d appreciate that.”

Chapter Five

Almost a week later, Tammy was sitting in her cabin, staring out the big window in the living room. She had a glass of white wine in front of her, and she was gazing at the perfect sunset over the mountains. Despite the hush and the beauty, and a deep sense of joy and belonging, she was feeling a bit lonely.

God. This would be so perfect is someone were here to share it with me
.

As always, her thoughts went to Rob. She imagined him here with her, drinking wine and watching the sun sink below the mountain tips in bursts of gold and rose and purple. She pictured him here with her after a Sunday morning of making love – he’d be lounging around in his jeans, his muscular torso bare and warm, drinking coffee. Immediately, her nipples hardened, her breath got shallow, her pussy slicked up.
Jesus. Just
thinking
about him turns me on.

There was a knock at the door and she got to her feet. “Who’s there?”

“It’s Rob.”

She almost sagged against the wall.
Oh, shit.
Here she was in a state of complete arousal about him, and he shows up in the flesh. She raised her chin and straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath, trying to collect herself.
OK, Tammy. You can do this. Hang tough.

She opened the door. “Hi.”

“Hi. Is it OK if I come in for a minute?”

“Sure.”

Tammy deliberately moved away from him, didn’t watch him undo his coat and take it off, roll up his sleeves over those amazing golden forearms and undo the top button of his crisp white shirt. Instead, she went as far away from him as she could and walked in to the kitchen. “Can I get you something?”

He glanced around the room and saw her glass of wine. “I’d love some wine, if you have any left. Not too much, though. I have to drive home.”

“Sure.” She poured half a glass and brought it to him. He took it, thanked her.

She gestured at the sofa. “Sit, please.”

He smiled as she settled next to him, two sofa cushions away. She was facing him, her long, slim leg crossed below her, one elbow perched on the back of the sofa, her firm breasts accentuated in that shirt that perfectly matched her eyes. She was relaxed and beautiful and his fingers itched to touch her. He gripped the wine glass tightly.

“So. What are you doing up this way?” she asked him.

“I just thought I’d check in on you. I haven’t seen you much lately.”

“Well, you and Julie have been crazy-busy getting everything ready for the new cabins. I’ve barely seen her, either, these past five days.”

Rob nodded. The truth was that he’d been avoiding her since that day in his office, when she’d sat there in that clinging red blouse and blown a hole in his chest at her decision to leave in a month. He had always known the day would come when she would go, and he thought he was ready for that, he thought he even
wanted
that for her. But in his office, as he sat there and realized he had a month left with her, he felt a massive wave of anger and selfishness just wash over him. He wanted her to be here, with him. He wanted her to stay.

Rob Cathay worked hard to not be a selfish person. He was a guy who had always respected everyone – at least, until they gave him reason not to – and he believed that nobody had any right to keep anyone from what made them happy. That was why, when Karen got that incredible job offer at HSBC in Hong Kong, he had encouraged her to take it and he had agreed to postpone their wedding for a year. Of course, he hadn’t counted on her staying for longer than the original six-month contract. He also hadn’t counted on her breaking off the engagement after meeting someone else.

It had hurt him, of course. But he still thought Karen going was the right thing: if she hadn’t been able to stay faithful and committed for just six months apart, what were the chances that she’d have been able to stay in the marriage long-term?

No, standing in other people’s ways had never been Rob’s style, and he played by the rules in every other way, too. He drove the speed limit and he ate his vegetables and he watched his weight. He took pride in his work and treated his co-workers with respect. He listened more than he talked, and he could be trusted with a secret.

Tammy, though. Tammy was a whole different story, he discovered that day in his office. He
wanted
to stand in her way, he
wanted
to make it hard for her to leave. Right this second, all he wanted to do was peel that tight purple t-shirt off her body and flick his tongue over her pert little breasts. He wanted to go down on her until she came under his mouth, hot and sweaty and shaking. He wanted what
he
wanted – what was good for
him
.

So, that’s what held him back, held him in check: the knowledge that if he did what he wanted, he’d hurt her, scare her. And that was about the last thing he really wanted, after it all.

Rob wanted to be gloriously, fully, unapologetically selfish, but in the end, he just couldn’t do it to her. Frustrated, burning up with lust for her, he avoided Tammy and never touched her anymore, not even a quick hug. Their daily lunches had dropped off completely, and she had taken to spending time down at the stables with Phil, Jake and Mattie.

It was totally irrational, he knew, but whenever he saw Tammy sitting and talking to Phil, or giving Jake a hug and smiling warmly at him, Rob boiled with jealousy. He had never been this jealous before, and he could taste the corrosive, bubbling emotion in his mouth when he watched Tammy with other men. It tasted terrible.

He came to see Tammy today to try to make some peace with his pettiness and jealousy. He wanted to be able to talk to her, and after everything they had been through together over the past few weeks, it was the least he could do. He was sure that she was confused by his pulling back so completely after seeing her so broken and vulnerable. He simply wasn’t being fair.

“Well, yeah,” Rob said. “We have been busy with the new cabins, but it’s slowing down a bit now. I thought I’d catch up with you… see how you’re doing.”

“Oh, really good, actually. I’ve been down at the stables a lot, and it turns out? I don’t hate horses.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Jake and Phil and Mattie have really shown me some of their hidden charms.”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

A silence fell between them and they both sipped their wine. Tammy cast around in her mind, desperately trying to think of something to say. What to say, though?
Rob, I want you to kiss me all over until I come?
Oh, sure.
That
would send him screaming out the door in to the winter night. Maybe she could say,
I bet your cock would feel amazing inside me.
Yeah, that would be a conversation-stopper, to be sure.

They looked at each other, wordless, and tried to smile. The tension between them was huge: Tammy could barely stand to be next to him without kissing him, Rob was fighting to keep his hands off her.

Tammy leaned back suddenly, eager to put more physical space between them and her elbow caught on the sofa cushion behind her. The movement jostled the glass and white wine spilled on her shirt, leaving a dark stain.

“Oh, damn,” she said. She set the glass down on the table in front of them and pulled the t-shirt away to examine the damage.

Rob’s eyes were drawn to the splotch of wine; it was just over her left nipple. He almost groaned out loud.

“I’ll have to take this off,” Tammy said.

“Yes,” Rob said. “You’ll have to take it off.”

She heard it in his voice, and she looked up at him. He was staring at her, his gaze fixed on her breast. His eyes were bright with lust.

Oh, my God. Does he want this too?

“Why don’t you help me with it?” she said. “Help me take it off?” She held her breath, hoping that he wouldn’t refuse.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Slowly, deliberately, he set his glass of wine on the table and reached for her. She leaned closer and his hands found the bottom of her t-shirt; they lingered on her waist. Then he started to pull the shirt up, exposing her creamy stomach, her breasts in a black bra. She raised her arms and he pulled the t-shirt over her head. She tossed her long hair over her shoulders and looked at him.

My God, she was beautiful. Unable to stop himself, Rob moved closer to her, then closer. She moved towards him and lifted her chin.

The kiss was soft, careful, tentative, checking to see if what was happening was OK with the other person. Tammy moaned deep in her throat and closed her eyes. Rob flicked his tongue over her lips and her mouth opened to him. He deepened the kiss, holding her head in both large hands. He pulled back, breathing hard.

Tammy opened her eyes and looked at his gorgeous face. He was staring at her with such heat and desire, she felt her pussy flutter in response.

“Rob,” she said. “Rob…”

That was it: that was the end of his self-control. He pushed her down on the sofa, pushed her on to her back, and kneeled next to her. She stretched the full length of her body against the soft cushions and touched his chest.

He lowered his head to her left breast, to the wine spot. He licked it off her warm skin and she gripped the back of his head, pressing him down. He lapped up the wine, then slowly moved his lips towards her nipple. He tongued her through the material of her bra, the lace rubbing against her taut peak, adding to the pleasure. She bit her lip, wanting more.

His huge hands were moving under her now, lifting her, and she arched her back off the sofa to help him. He found the snap, undid her bra, pulled it down her arms. It fell away and he dropped it on the floor next to him.

And there she was, lying exposed to his gaze, her breasts begging to be kissed and laved and tongued. He lifted her again, kissing her breasts, lifting them to his mouth, and she let him. Rob slowly moved from one nipple to the other, licking and luxuriating in her taste. The wine mixed with her sweet skin, and he couldn’t get enough of her.

Tammy felt fire everywhere his mouth touched. She wanted to stay right here, forever. When he moved back up her body and kissed her lips, she clung to him, dizzy. His kiss wasn’t gentle or soft or sweet; it was possessive and demanding and Tammy melted under him. She wanted him to take her, take her completely. He was shedding his gentlemanly demeanor as quickly as she wanted him to shed his clothes; she was thrilled to find a passionate, wild lover under his suit.

Rob kissed her hard, harder than he meant to. His desire was raging in him, and he wanted to flip her over and just thrust in to her body until she was shaking under him, coming against his hand and around his cock. He wanted to plunge in to her until she screamed, to hell with taking it slow or gentle.

At that thought, Rob realized that everything was moving too fast, and he broke away, pulled back. He hadn’t come here intending to do this, and he was suddenly deeply disgusted with himself, for his lack of control. She wasn’t anywhere near ready for something like this, and he was an idiot to have forgotten that.
What am I thinking?

Tammy felt him pull away from her and she opened her eyes, confused. “Rob?”

He was staring down at her, a look of cold anger on his face.

She shivered. “Rob? What’s – what’s wrong?”

He stood up. “I – we can’t do this, Tammy. I’m so sorry.”

The heat of his body was gone and she was fully exposed to the chill in the air. She looked down and was forcefully reminded that her bare breasts were on full display, her nipples still tight and hard from his tongue. Embarrassed, she crossed her arms over her chest.

Rob handed her the blanket from the chair and turned away as she wrapped it around her shoulders. She sat up, unsteady and dizzy. Humiliation was starting to seep over her, and her skin prickled.
What happened? Why did he stop?

Rob sighed. “God, Tammy. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, you said that.” Shame was being replaced by anger and Tammy welcomed it.

“It’s just… look, you’re leaving in two weeks, right? What’s the point of starting anything up?”

“So that’s the problem?” she asked.

“Well, partly.”

She stood up to face him now. “What’s the rest of the problem?”

He ran his hands through his hair. “You’re not – ready.”

“Don’t you think that I should be the one to decide that?”

He was silent. “I don’t know. I mean, normally I’d say yes. But I’d feel awful if we did anything and you regretted it after. Or if you weren’t ready, and you got hurt.”

“Are you going to hurt me, Rob?”

He forced himself to meet her eyes. “Not on purpose.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I don’t think I can – can keep my control with you.”

“So?”

“So, that’s important to me, OK?”

“What, you don’t want to be a feral beast in bed?”

“No!” He was shocked. “No. I want to be – tender and careful.”

Tammy breathed out through her nose. “Oooh, yeah.
That’s
sexy.”

He looked at her. Her hair was tousled wildly around her head, her cheeks were flushed, those plump lips were swollen from his kisses. She was so completely fuckable and at the thought, he felt his self-disgust grow. She deserved better than this, better than to be some asshole’s sex toy for three weeks. She deserved better than him.

“OK, I’d better go.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

He shrugged on his coat, left his boot laces untied. He stood in the doorway for a minute, staring at her. “Tammy. I am really sorry.”

“Yeah.”

He shut the door, hurried away from the cabin as quickly as he could. He had never been so ashamed of himself and his actions in his entire life. For the first time since meeting her, he was glad that she was leaving soon.