Open Arms (11 page)

“You’re awake now. It’s over.”

She started to shake as the memory came back to her. She looked up at Rob. “I remember. I remember everything – I know what he did to me. And I know what he looks like.”

He nodded, and reached for her. She went in to his arms, and let him pull her on to his lap. He leaned back against the wall, his arms around her back and her legs, her fingers clutching his t-shirt. He gathered her as close to his chest as he could, trying to absorb all that pain and fear in to his own bones and muscle.

She was cold. He wrapped her in the blanket from the bed and felt her burrow in to it, ducking her head and curling up in to herself; she was trying to disappear and he had to stop her.

He lifted her chin, forced her to look at him. Her eyes were wide and shocked and he wondered if she was fully aware of what was happening.

“Tammy? Tell me how you’re doing. Talk to me.”

She shook her head.

“Tell me what happened.”

“No. No.”

“You need to share this with somebody, otherwise you’ll keep carrying it alone. And it’s too damn heavy for you to do that. Let me carry some of it for you.”

“I – I can’t.” Her eyes were glazed.

He touched her cheek. “Hey, stay with me, OK? Tammy, stay with me.”

“I just want it to stop.” She was starting to cry now. “I don’t want it to keep coming to me when I’m sleeping. I don’t want it stalking me. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want it to be over. When will it be over?”

He couldn’t think of anything to say. For Christine, it still wasn’t really over, even ten years later, even though she was married and had a beautiful daughter named Grace. He wasn’t sure that fear would or could ever end – Christine and Tammy would be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives. They knew all too well what could come out of the darkness at them when they weren’t looking, what can sit calmly on a porch waiting for someone to slip up and open the door. Rob would do anything to erase that knowledge from their minds, but he couldn’t.

So instead he did what he could, and he rocked Tammy and felt her hot tears soak the front of his shirt. It was all he could do. It was nothing. It was everything.
**
Tammy slowly came back in to her body. She blinked once, twice. She was on the floor, curled up on Rob’s lap. How did she get here?

She lifted her head, felt Rob look down at her.

“How are you doing now?”

“I honestly don’t know.” She shook her head, trying to dislodge the fuzzy feeling. “I feel – spacy. Did I fall?”

“You had a bad dream and when I tried to hold you, you pulled away and fell on to the floor.”

“I did?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, that’s freaking graceful.”

He stared down at her. Was she actually making a joke?

“I’m OK, Rob.” Her voice was totally normal. “Really.”

He peered at her. She
did
actually seem to be doing better. Her eyes were gleaming up at him, and she was curved in to his body like a cat.

Warmth was stealing over Tammy’s body as Rob looked down at her. She had never felt so alive in her entire life: she was aware of every nerve ending, every breath. She felt Rob’s large body under hers and next to hers, and she was aware of his muscles, his skin, his hair, his strength.

Rob saw the way that she was looking at him, and he almost closed his eyes in despair.
All I’ve wanted to do for the past six weeks is make love to her, but I’ll be damned if the first time that happens is after she’s had a nightmare. She’s not herself.

He eased her away from him slightly. “Do you think you can stand up?”

“Yes.”

“OK, we’ll take it slow…”

“But I don’t want to.”

He paused. “What?”

“I don’t want to stand up. I want to stay right here. I also don’t want to take it slow. I want you.”

Now he did close his eyes, as he sent up a silent prayer to whatever higher power-that-be for strength. “Tammy, you’ve had a shock. You’re not in your right head.”

“But I am.” She rubbed his bicep, ran her fingers over his collarbone, across the hair on his chest. She touched his lips. “Open your eyes, Rob.”

He did. She saw the lust in them, smoky and hot and primal and she felt a fierce response in her stomach.

“I’ve wanted you to kiss me for weeks… but you’re such a goddamned gentleman. So much so, that you wouldn’t make love to me that night on the sofa, even though I wanted you to more than anything. You even got in to bed with me tonight and didn’t try anything… and I really wanted you to.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“Tammy, I don’t want to scare you, or take advantage of you, and I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret tomorrow, when you’re thinking straight again.”

“OK, fine. Don’t take advantage of me.
I’ll
take advantage of
you
.” She touched his mouth again, tracing his lips with her fingertip.

Rob’s breath was coming faster now, and he clenched his hands to keep himself from touching her.

Tammy saw his reluctance and decided to up the stakes a bit. She leaned forward, slowly, and kissed him. She moved her mouth over his, tasting him, coaxing a response from him, trying to get him to give in and do what they both wanted so much.

Rob groaned.
She is trying to kill me.

She whispered against his mouth, “I want this, Rob. I’m not traumatized and I’m not asleep and I’m not making a mistake. I don’t care about leaving in two weeks. I want this. Even just for a little while, even if I’ll miss it like crazy when I go – I want it.” She wriggled on his lap, felt his response under her. “And I think that you do, too.”

“I do.” The admission came out in a rush of breath and wanting.

She smiled at him, that amazing smile that had shone out at him from Julie’s pictures for months before he actually met Tammy. And that was when he couldn’t hold back anymore: he kissed her now, holding her face in his hands, letting his weeks and weeks of denied passion break free.

She moaned in her throat and he felt a shock of desire at the sound. God, he wanted her to make that sound when he was buried deep inside her, thrusting and plunging, driving them both forward.

He pulled away from her, looked in to her eyes. “I am going to make it good for you, Tammy. I promise. But if you want to stop at any time, you tell me. OK?”

She nodded, breathless now.
Oh, my God. This is actually going to happen
. Her hot center moistened at the thought that he would soon be in there, filling and stretching her to breaking point.

Rob gently lifted her off his lap. She sat on the carpeted bedroom floor and watched as he slowly lay down. He stretched out on the floor on his back, his hands at his sides. “You’re in control here, sweetheart. You show me what you want to do. You take the lead.”

Tammy stared at him and felt weak with wanting. Never, ever, had a lover put her first. Suddenly shy, she looked down. She didn’t know where to begin.

He took her hand and put it on his chest. She laid her palm flat, felt his heart under the t-shirt. Almost without any thought, her hand started moving. She ran it across his chest, then down. She felt the groove of muscle of his stomach and her pussy twitched. God, he was just so strong. All she wanted now was to see his chest and she pulled his shirt up. He raised his back and shoulders slightly, making it easier.

Tammy yanked his shirt off and looked down at him. His chest was wider than she had imagined and it was covered in gold hair. Her mouth went dry with lust; all her other lovers had been clean-shaven, totally smooth. She had always thought that she preferred that, but now she knew different.

Her fingers stroked his chest, circled his nipples, ran through his hair. His eyes were half-closed, watching her face. She was biting her full lower lip, her cheeks flushed and warm and lovely. She raised her eyes and met his. Her hand moved lower, down to his boxer shorts and paused at the waistband. He was huge, she could tell. Something moved over her skin, something cold and chill. She hesitated.

He saw her face change and he sat up. “Sweet thing, we don’t have to. I swear, it’s OK. If you don’t want to, or you’re not ready, we can wait.”

She took a breath. “Lie down.” With her fingertips, she gently pushed him down again.

Rob lay on his back, suddenly not as sure as he had been a minute before. Then he saw her hands move to her own long t-shirt and he watched, mesmerized, as she lifted it up and over her head. Her perfect breasts were in front of him now, the nipples small and light rose. He wanted to lick them, rub his fingers over them. But he lay still, waiting for Tammy.

She took his hands and laid them on her breasts. He groaned and felt his cock harden even more. She lifted a leg and straddled him. He gasped at the heat of her; her center was pressing down on him and he lifted his hips, helpless to stop himself from wanting to be closer.

Tammy looked at Rob. He was massaging her breasts now, running his hands over them, under them, thumbing the nipples gently, watching as they hardened in to peaks.

“My breasts are too small,” she said. More than one guy had told her that, and she was achingly aware of that fact.

“They’re perfect,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I want to taste them.” His eyes were hot. “Can I?”

Breathless, she nodded.

He sat up, his large hands splayed across her back, pulling her to his mouth. She arched, twisted her fingers in to his hair, pulled him closer. He was sucking her nipples now, tonguing them and nipping gently. She gasped at the sensations rolling through her, amazed at how he made her feel.

He captured her mouth again, kissing her more deeply. They broke apart and he lay down on his back, looking at her above him. Tammy smiled, her eyes shining in the half-light, and she rose up on her knees. She pulled at her panties, rolled them down her creamy thighs, down her slim calves. She was completely naked now, her warm pussy pressed hard against his stomach; he felt her heat and juices and he couldn’t stand another second of it.

He touched her stomach with a finger, ran it down her body. She watched as his finger moved down, down. He stroked between her lips, felt her hips jerk in response. He found the tiny bud between her thighs, pressed it, then circled it. She let out a small cry, and Rob paused.

“You OK?”

She nodded. “Oh, yes. Do it again…”

Rob smiled, slowly repeated the circles. She shuddered. He slid a finger just inside her pussy opening, waited. Her head fell back and her hands clenched on his chest.

“Rob… please. Please touch me.”

He slid in a bit farther, amazed at how wet she was.
My God, she is going to feel incredible to make love to.
Tammy gasped, started to move her hips, unable to stop the movements, trying to bring him deeper and closer. He thrust now, pressing on her knot at the same time that he worked his way inside her. She went rigid and he felt her muscles flexing, pulling his finger farther, taking him in. He slid a second finger inside her and she inhaled quickly, loving how it felt, her hips moving without any thought on her part now.

She closed her eyes, unable to believe that she was so close to coming so fast. She had never come just from a man touching her like this – she never knew it was even possible to reach that pinnacle without full-on sex. Rob pressed farther in to her heat, stroked her insides, started making ‘come here’ movements with his fingers while pressing his thumb on her clit. Her hips moved faster now, and she was fucking his fingers as hard as she could, simulating the penetration of his cock, and the thought made the blood rush to her head and she felt her orgasm start.

“Oh,” she said, “Oh, God…”

Rob watched her face as she realized that she was coming, saw that it caught her by surprise, and he thrust inside her faster and deeper, meeting her plunging hips on the downward stroke. Tammy’s hands gripped his muscled thighs behind her, totally abandoning herself to the feelings now. Her slim body arched, her breasts bounced with her movements, her head was thrown back, her eyes closed. She rode his hand and he loved every second of it, wanted it to go on forever, listening to her cries rise rhythmically.

Tammy couldn’t stop it now: the feelings were intensifying, the pressure building deep in her pussy, travelling through her body, all the way to her fingertips. She sobbed as the wave rose and rose, broke a bit, rose some more. Then, finally, finally, she reached the crest and she shook wildly as her world exploded.

Rob gripped Tammy’s hips with his one hand, holding her in place as she came. He kept his fingers inside her until her pussy had stopped clenching and releasing and her movements had stopped, then he slowly pulled them out of her trembling body. Her body felt empty without them, and she looked down at him, her eyes glazed, missing the pressure and heat of Rob’s fingers reaching in to her sex.

He sat up again, pulled her down on to his chest, held her. He kissed her forehead, inhaled the scent from her tangled hair, told her that he was there with her. She clutched his upper arms, and listened to his heartbeat, knowing it now as well as she knew her own.

He felt her body relax and he ran his hands up and down her back. “You are so beautiful.”

She glanced at him and saw the look in his eyes. Suddenly, she felt a bit shy, thinking about how she must have looked above him, open and spread and exposed. She blushed and dropped her gaze.

“Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t be embarrassed. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She curled her fingers under her, felt his hardness against her wetness. “And what about you?”

He smiled at her, a slow smile that she’d never seen on his face before, and it was devastatingly sexy. “Well, I’m ready, as you can tell. But you’re in control here.”

Her fingers were stroking him now, up and down the length of him. He groaned and touched her forehead with his own, gripped her hips. She watched his face as she reached under the waistband, trailed her fingers slowly down, down farther. He was huge and hot in her hand, and she knew he would feel incredible inside of her.