One Step Too Close - Coffin Nails MC Louisiana (Gay Biker Stepbrother Romance) (Sex & Mayhem Book 6) (26 page)

Ryder sent him a stare
as level as he could, even though his ribs seemed to tighten around his lungs.
“We’re falling apart, that’s what’s going on.” And just as he said those
prophetic words, Saundra, a tall dark-haired hangaround, approached them with
her teeth bared.

“How come we’re all
invited, and Dana’s the only one allowed anywhere near the Colombian? I didn’t
come here for this shit! There’s hardly any good guys around.”

Wolver sneered at her.
“I’m not your fucking matchmaker!”

Saundra crossed her arms
on her chest. “Well, maybe I won’t be coming again, if we don’t even get booze and
food anymore. Seriously? Your parties used to be so much better!”

Wolver took a step her
way. “What did you say, you cunt?”

Saundra moved back
slightly, her eyes betraying a sudden anxiety. “I... well, they were. You also
enjoyed them more. You have to see that, Wolver! This is like a mixture of a
go-go bar and Sunday school. And those two things don’t mix!”

Ryder frowned when the
stench of oil mixed with a faint smell of smoke. He looked around, unsure what
was happening, but then someone yelled “Fire!”, and all hell broke loose.

“What?” Ryder caught
Tower’s gaze across the room and carefully slid forward to avoid falling face-first.
“Where? What’s burning?”

“It’s the fucking
garage!” yelled Bert from outside. “Get all extinguishers!”

Ryder grabbed Jed’s arm
and rushed into the corner where they kept one of their extinguishers. He could
only hope it wasn’t way out of date. Before he managed to reach the door, most
guests poured outside. The girls were just gawking at the flames rapidly
spreading over the outer wall of the garage, over the dried vines no one had
removed in ages.

But despite being drunk,
most of the Nails emerged like out of nowhere to protect their club. Even
Grease must have left the girl he was supposed to drive to the ER, because he
ran past Ryder and headed for the water hose in the yard, where they usually
washed their cars. Mikey must have had the same idea, because he was right
behind him.

Jed ran up next to
Ryder, and grabbed another extinguisher. Ryder could only hope this was sobering
him up, because the last thing he wanted was a drunk Jed near fire.

Now that he was out on
the asphalt, Ryder could move without the risk of slipping and falling over. He
rushed toward the garage until he could sense the burn on his cheeks, pressed on
the extinguisher’s handle and... nothing happened. He growled and did it again.
And again. And again.

“Fuck!” he yelled in
helpless anger, tossing the metal container to the ground. It suddenly exploded
with foam, spraying it all over a group of women, who watched the events as if
they were attending a bonfire and waiting for a helping of marshmallows. At
least that got them moving. They screeched, trying to flee, but it was no use.
The extinguisher was rolling in circles and spitting foam everywhere but at
where it was actually needed.

“I’ve got it!” Jed
yelled, and at least his extinguisher worked. It produced a steady stream of
foam, helping with some of the fire from the side of the club, so that it
wouldn’t reach the other building, but then a stream of water from the hose
helped contain the flames from the other side. Moments later, the danger seemed
successfully stopped, and everyone yelled out in triumph. Axe ran around and
bumped his fist with everyone. He reached Grease seconds after he dropped the
now switched-off water hose, and picked him up like a happy groom would his
bride. Only Grease didn’t sound too happy at all and clung to Axe’s neck as he
was sent up for a brief moment of weightlessness.

Ryder bit the inside of
his cheek and looked down at his clothes, soaked with old frying oil, at the
white foam on his jeans. This was a fucking embarrassment.

But it was when he
looked up again that his blood went cold. Toro and his men were leaving.
Without as much as a good-bye. Not only was this a fucking disaster, but an
insult that burned Ryder’s pride more than boiling oil could.

“Are you not staying to
watch the spectacle unfold?” asked Wolver, who magically remained clean. He was
walking in steady strides and opened his arms in invitation, but Ryder knew him
well enough to see hopelessness written in his movements.

“I think I’ve seen
enough,” said Toro to the sudden silence. Ryder’s stomach plummeted even lower
when he saw Dana holding the bastard’s hand. Her half smirk could only be
directed at him.

Ryder moved without
thinking. Step after desperate step, he joined his father by the cars. His
throat was stuck, and even the presence of his brothers that he could feel
behind his back couldn’t soothe the sense of humiliation that settled on his
heart. “You’ve seen the quality of our stock. Why don’t you stay overnight and
have a think about it?”

“I’ve heard you had a
lot to say about me,” said Dana all of a sudden, looking at Ryder with that
pseudo-polite smile.

Toro held her hand up
and kissed it. “That was no way to talk about the only actual quality stock
here. I’m not risking getting traced back to this mess.” He pointed to their
clubhouse, to the smoke, to the oil. To Ryder and all his failures.

And the worst thing was
that Ryder knew exactly what Toro meant. If
he
saw what Toro had seen
today, he wouldn’t be any more eager to want to do business with them. His skin
tingled. His head pulsed. He’d failed his club. “I warned you about her, that’s
all,” he said quietly.

Toro smirked and opened
the door to the nearest car for Dana, who climbed inside without looking back.
Ryder couldn’t believe she won. This wasn’t fair.

“You and your men need
to grow up, otherwise, you should stick to muling drugs like all good outlaw
clubs,” Toro said.

Jed moved next to Ryder,
too quick for Ryder to grab him. “What the fuck did you say on our turf you
fucking Colombian cunt hole?” In a moment that seemed frozen in time, he pulled
out his gun and walked on, straight at Toro.

The hangarounds screamed
and ran for the gate, Toro’s men drew their guns, and so did the Coffin Nails.
Ryder exhaled in panic and ran after Jed, half expecting bullets to tear into
his chest. He grabbed Jed’s arm and pulled him back. It was deathly quiet
except tor feminine shrieks in the background, but Toro ended up grinning. He
raised his hand and pointed at Jed. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.
There will be no deal, and I think it’s in your own best interest not to make
this even worse for yourselves.”

Ryder felt sweat roll
down his back, and he looked at Wolver, who stood there, ready to shoot. It was
him everyone was watching, their president, and as bile went up Ryder’s throat,
he wasn’t sure whether he could trust his own father to do the right thing.

Slowly, Wolver pulled on
the safety and put his gun back in the holster. “That’s fine. There will be
another deal for us. No reason to have a partner who doesn’t want it if there’s
plenty willing.”

“Really? We’re just
letting them go?” Jed hissed at Wolver and Ryder with a deep frown, still
squeezing the gun in a hand that was glistening with oil. It was an accident
waiting to happen.

Ryder smirked with
bitterness choking his throat. “He’d rather have that slut Dana. Clearly, we
aren’t a match.”

As all the other Nails
slowly put their guns away, so did Toro’s men, and in the end, so did Jed. The
sour taste of failure was much more revolting on Ryder’s tongue than the oldest
oil could ever be. Even the way Jed looked at him was like a stab to the chest.
As if Jed knew just how much Ryder fucked up tonight. Ryder had promised
himself and the guys to mend things, and instead, he made them a laughing
stock.

He watched all their
guests enter the rented cars, and drive around the whole yard, around the
Coffin Nails, only to disappear behind the gate, along with that bitch Dana and
the money the club so desperately needed.

Jed

Jed watched Toro, his
men, and most of all Dana, drive away without a scratch. Without even a bruise.
He side-eyed his brothers, left in a state of shock, with his hands dirty, and
smelling of smoke. He couldn’t believe this shit. Everything had been going so
fucking well, and now this? How did this come about?

Some hangarounds saw
what had happened as well. This was a disaster. An embarrassment to all Coffin
Nails.

Ryder stared at the road
beyond the gate, shoulders slumped, dirty, wet, with his hair in disarray. He
turned around, and Jed could see he was trying to keep up the usual facade, but
he was cracking.

At first Jed wanted to
confront him about letting those Colombian fuckers go, but not here, not in
front of everyone.

He looked at Tower and
broke the silence, following Ryder inside. “Prospect! Get all the women out of
here!”

Tower nodded and pushed
the two girls standing next to him toward the general direction of the gate,
where some of them also left their rides. Wolver rubbed his temples before
looking up at the brothers. “I guess that’s it for today.”

No one laughed, and for
once, even Axe didn’t have a lame joke to throw in. It was Ryder who finally
spoke. “I’ll check the inside of the garage for damage,” he said and turned on
his heel without waiting for an answer.

Jed didn’t say a word,
just followed Ryder, itching for punches he didn’t have anyone to throw at.
They needed to talk in private. The sooner, the better. He didn’t understand
why Ryder was so passive. He always took charge of situations, always led the
way, so why couldn’t he do it now that he was in a position of power?

Ryder opened the door to
the garage and slipped inside, not even noticing that he was being followed.

He didn’t turn the light
on, and no oil or foam could stop Jed from sliding his arms around Ryder in the
darkness.

“At least Dana’s gone…”
Jed tried to say something nice before serving the shit sandwich.

Ryder gave a shuddery
breath and grabbed Jed’s forearms, inhaling the smoky air a few times. “Fuck...
the deal’s off. What are we gonna do now?”

Jed swallowed his
reproaches and hugged him closer. He was caught by surprise that Ryder didn’t
have a backup plan. He was always the one to plan and make sure they had a way
out of any situation. “We’ll think of something. But why didn’t we fuck them
up? Maybe we could get the guys and find them. It would actually be better now.
Any witnesses would tell the police that we backed off.”

Ryder shook his head in
the faint light inside the garage. It smelled of smoke, but very faintly, as it
was just the outer wall that had been burning. So it was mostly the usual aroma
of oils and gas that hung in the air, calmingly familiar.

“We can’t just kill one
of the biggest South American bosses on our turf. They’ve got far more
resources, and frankly, you insulted him far worse than he insulted us, and he
still didn’t blow your head off!”

Jed backed away, as if
slapped in the face. “I insulted him worse? The motherfucker laughed at us and
took off with one of our women. Respect is everything.”

Ryder barked out a
laugh. “Oh, because you wanted her to stay so fucking much. I did as we planned
and made her look like a whore, and she still somehow wrapped him around her
finger!”

“Fuck him then. We’ll
get a better deal from someone else.” Jed clenched his greasy fists, torn
between needing to hug Ryder, and throwing a punch at him. “I wanted her gone,
but not like this. After all she’d done to me. You don’t know how it was to
live with her.”

“I know that,” growled
Ryder in the darkness, pacing about like a wounded lion. “You think I don’t
want to turn her head into mush? Just give me a chance, and she’s gonna be six
feet under.”

“Can’t we at least try
and get to her? I can’t believe what happened tonight.” Jed paused, realizing
that no, they couldn’t just get her and kill her. He swallowed and sat down on
a stack of boxes. Then again, maybe it was better this way. At least she was
gone from his life. “Let’s go get a drink?”

Ryder shook his head,
pacing even quicker. His breath was resonating under the ceiling with each
step. “No. And you weren’t supposed to get drunk tonight. Grease wasn’t
supposed to fry stuff and make the damn place smell of oil, there was supposed
to be only a select group of girls...”

Jed sighed and tried to
catch Ryder’s hand as he was passing again, but Ryder instantly pulled it out
of his grasp. “You can’t control everything. It was a party, I had a few drinks
with Axe. It’s no big deal.”

“No? Before that damn
party, Toro was ready to suckle at our fucking tit for those rocket launchers!
This was a business meeting, not Halloween!” hissed Ryder, backing away to the
wall. “We make those plans, but no one actually follows them, and now we’re screwed.
All our money was put into tonight, and it was all ruined. I’m a joke.”

Jed swallowed and got
up. “Ryder… It’s not your fault. You can’t be held responsible for this. It’s
Grease’s fault, and Dark’s, and mine as well, I suppose. We all fucked up. You’re
actually the one who didn’t.” He wanted to touch Ryder, to give him a hug, but
he wasn’t sure how to approach him anymore.

Ryder pushed back his
hair, and now that Jed’s eyes were well used to the darkness, he could clearly
see his face. “But I’m the VP. I am responsible, and I lost my cool over a damn
fryer. I clearly wasn’t a good choice if no one respects my authority!”

Jed licked his lips and
got closer to Ryder, increasingly uncomfortable to see him so lost. “I do,” he
tried. “You just need to show the guys what you’re made of if they don’t
listen.” He ran his hands over Ryder’s sticky T-shirt. He could sense how quick
his heart was beating. “You just started at this…”

“Do you?” asked Ryder
quietly. “I asked you to stay alert and sober, and instead of being fucking
friendly to the guests we were courting, you spent all that time with Axe.”

Jed swallowed, unsure
how to make up for his actions. It was true. He should have refused more than
one drink and socialized with Toro’s men more. Guilt twisted its blade in his
chest, but there was no way to take it back now. He stood there, torn between
backing off, and trying to kiss Ryder to make it better. He went with the
latter in the end, but his lips didn’t meet their target.

Ryder pushed him away.
“What are you doing? Don’t you understand how deep in the shit we now are? We
might not survive this. The club has no money, and there’s no opportunities on
the horizon. I gave my word that I’m not gonna let anything like this happen,
and now it looks like we might have to mule crack to survive!”

Jed took two steps back
so fast he walked right into the boxes and hit his foot. “I’m sorry, I just… I
don’t know. I wanted to cheer you up. I’m not very good at this.” He took a
deep breath, fighting back the panic over Ryder possibly being too pissed off
with him to be together anymore. “I get it. I’ll help you any way I can. I’m
sorry.” He put his dirty hands in his pockets.

Ryder took a deep
breath, looking at Jed from across the room. It was as if there was an impenetrable
fence between them now. “I just... don’t know who I can count on anymore. Every
time I choose to trust my brothers, everything goes to shit. This isn’t the
family I signed up for.”

It was such a
heartbreaking confession that for a moment, Jed was speechless, but Ryder
continued.

“Maybe
I
should
go Nomad? Say I don’t give a fuck anymore and disappear? But I wouldn’t do
that, ‘cause I’m a fucking adult. It’s all on my shoulders.”

Jed wished he could turn
back time, just so he wouldn’t have to see Ryder so wrecked. He could have not drunk,
he could have hidden Grease’s fryer. “I know. We’ll get the guys in line. I’ll
help. Just tell me what you need me to do. I— I don’t want to let you down.” He
felt useless, but needed to be stronger than his emotions, not give in to
moping around just because Ryder was angry with him. There would be no burns,
no punching walls. He’d promised.

Ryder exhaled. “Wolver’s
probably giving the others a lecture right now. I don’t want to face them like
this,” he said, touching the front of his T-shirt.

“You have some spare
clothes at the club, don’t you?” Jed looked at his feet, crushed under guilt
over the decisions he’d made tonight.

Ryder nodded. “Yeah.
Maybe we could just go to my room upstairs. Clean up.”

“You sure you want me to
come with you? I don’t want to, like, be pushy or whatever.” Jed kicked an
imaginary rock.

“I just told you that I
do.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jed
mumbled and was the first one to rush toward the corridor connecting the garage
with the clubhouse. He didn’t even know why he was so nervous, because it
wasn’t even the Toro thing that was eating him up. They’d get money somehow.

Ryder fumbled with the
lock in the darkness, but eventually they got in and went straight for the
staircase. Each of the members occupied a room, where they could keep their
personal things and where they could sleep if they didn’t feel like going home
for the night. Most of the time, this was where they brought girls but Jed knew
that Ryder’s room would be as pristine as one in a hotel.

They didn’t even bother
to turn on the lights as they climbed upstairs, all the way to the top floor,
and then to the door at the end of the corridor. Jed swallowed hard when Ryder
unlocked it and let him into the small room with a double bed, one cupboard,
and quite a few movie posters on the wall.

“Would you have an extra
T-shirt for me too?” Jed mumbled, increasingly suffocated by anxiety. It was
different to have Ryder as a lover than it was to have him just as a brother.
Things were more intense. They were closer than ever yet somehow, the
relationship seemed more fragile. Like if he broke it, it would be impossible
to fix, whereas if he argued with his brother, he knew they’d have a beer in
two weeks and everything would be fine.

Ryder nodded, leaning against
the door until it closed. He locked it.

“Yeah, I’m just so
fucking overwhelmed. This wasn’t how I imagined the night going down.”

“I know. It was supposed
to be epic in a different way.” Jed dared to look into Ryder’s eyes with his
heart in his throat. If he tried to kiss him now, would he get pushed back
again?

Ryder walked up to the
open bathroom. He switched on the light and kicked off his boots. “Yes. Ripper
would be fucking embarrassed if he saw us today.”

“We just need to try
harder with the next opportunity. You can’t take back what happened.” Jed took
his T-shirt off, unsure what else he could possibly say. He could only change
the future, not the past.

Ryder nodded and removed
his T-shirt, and it made a wet sound when it landed on the floor. “Yes. We need
to. I just can’t wrap my head around this now.”

Jed sat down on the bed,
watching Ryder’s big silhouette, his handsome face marred with worry. “You’re
the best person for this role. You know this, right?”

Ryder shook his head,
his shoulders hunched in resignation. “I’m fucked up. You have no idea how much
I’m talking to myself in my head. It’s giving me a headache,” he said, dropping
his pants next to the T-shirt.

Jed tried to avoid all
thoughts inappropriate to this conversation, but he still stole a glance at
Ryder’s tense stomach, and remembered licking it just yesterday. “What do you…
talk about?”

Ryder bit his lip.
“Everything.” He moved his hand back and forth. “This thing between you and me,
too.”

That made Jed sit up
straight and pay attention. His heart rate picked up, his hair bristled. “Oh?”
He cleared his throat.

Ryder exhaled, and his
beautiful stomach, which was glistening from the oil, retracted. Ryder’s eyes had
never before seemed as lost as they did at that moment. “I try to make you
confident about this, but it’s not easy for me either. I mean...” He took a
deep breath, looking away, and rested his head against the doorframe. “I didn’t
think it could feel this good. And now I’m fucking confused. Everything in this
world is giving me the message that I should hate it, and I don’t. But there’s
always this voice at the back of my head that’s fucking with me.”

Jed got up, still unsure
if his touch was wanted or not. “I don’t want to make you unhappy. I know you
never liked guys who are… like me.” Bitterness exploded at the back of his
throat when he thought back to all the gay slurs that ever came out of Ryder’s
mouth. “Fuck, I can’t even say it. It’s a lot to take in. I sort of know I’m
like this, I’m guessing you’re pretty fucking sure you’re enjoying yourself
with me, but I don’t feel like I’m
them
. You know what I mean?”

“Why not?” Ryder reached
out his hand, wordlessly inviting Jed to join him.

That was just the
gesture Jed needed to push his pants off in one quick move and go up to Ryder
for a hug. Oily skin to oily skin. “‘Cause I’m not an interior decorator from
New York. I shouldn’t be like this.”