One Simple Step (Journey Series) (25 page)

The nurse started to hand the baby to Kara, but she shook her head, letting out a groan as she collapsed onto the pillow. “Okay, then. Here we are, Daddy. Your beautiful baby girl.” I was nervous as hell as the nurse handed me my daughter. I had absolutely no clue how to hold a baby, and I think the nurse could sense my hesitation.

“Just like this, Daddy.” She moved my arms into a better position, and I felt myself relax just a little. “Make sure you support her head, and let the rest come naturally. You’ll find your favorite ways to hold her.”

I looked down, mesmerized by every little detail, from the dark tuft of hair to her heart shaped lips. Even her tiny little fingers were fascinating. She had my olive complexion and two tiny little dimples that I could just barely make out. She was the spitting image of me. I could barely see any of Kara in her features. I thought I knew love before her, but this, nothing compared. Nothing ever would.

“Alright, Daddy, we just need to get some fingerprints here quickly. Do we have a name picked out?”

I sucked in a breath, waiting to hear Kara’s answer. She had about a million different names picked out, but had never narrowed it down to just one. I looked over at Kara, and she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Um...” I licked my lips, having no fucking clue. A name was something that meant a lot, especially for girls. I didn’t want to screw up the very first thing I was in charge of for my daughter. “Let’s go with...” I paused again, and the nurse’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. I’m sure we were probably like the first parents that didn’t have a name for their baby. There were a whole nine months to plan and all. I scoured my brain for something that fit, and one suddenly popped into my head. It was just right. “Ariel Grace Bennett.” The nurse nodded her head in approval, and I turned to Kara to see if I had her approval.

“Ariel? Like from
The Little Mermaid
?”

“I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders, knowing that the name was perfect. It reminded me of Ally, but Kara would never know the true meaning behind it.

“Whatever.” She shook her head, and took the clipboard that the nurse handed her, adding her signature next to mine at the bottom.

The room was soon overtaken by a flow of my relatives, coming in and out to meet the new baby. I was surprised once my mom got her hands on her, that she actually gave her up to my aunts who had come to visit. My mom had already been spoiling my daughter before she was even born, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like now.

Kara ended up staying in the hospital until the next afternoon. I stayed with her and Ariel overnight in the hospital room, and I was definitely feeling the sleepless night the next morning. The nurses were more than helpful, showing me how to change, burp, and feed her.

By the time we were leaving the hospital, I felt like I was getting the hang of it, but then I suddenly panicked. What in the hell were we going to do once we got home and there weren’t any nurses around to help out when we had a question?

I shifted the car seat in my hands that I was carrying back to Kara’s room, and took a deep breath. Calm down, dude. I had my mom, and she knew just about everything. We would be able to handle it, and if we couldn’t, I knew I could always count on my mom.

We signed the discharge papers, Kara was helped out to the car, and the car seat was checked before we left. It all felt a little surreal. We were now responsible for this tiny little human being. We were in charge of shaping her life, and who she was to become. I had no clue how in the hell I was going to do it, but we would figure it out.

“How you feeling?” I glanced over at Kara as I pulled out onto the main road, and she rolled her eyes at me.

“Oh, just lovely. Childbirth is like a freakin’ walk in the park. I have no clue why women would actually
want
to get pregnant.”

“Ok-ay.” Well then, I guess the pregnancy hormones were still in effect, mixed in with the overall personality of Kara. It made for a lethal combination. I don’t know how I had gotten through that past month or so. I felt like my tongue was about to fall off after having to bite it so often.

By the time I went in to work each morning, I felt like I was literally going to explode. It didn’t help that she never wanted me to go anywhere, either. She made me feel guilty, even if all I wanted was to stop off for one beer with Danny. He eventually stopped calling, and I figured it was for the best. I had at least gotten a text back from him when I sent him a picture of Ariel.

I pulled into the driveway, throwing the car into park and jumping out to open the back door and unlatch the car seat. It killed me to have my bike in the garage, but it wasn’t exactly the best mode of transportation with a kid, so the car I bought off my parents would have to do for now.

“Gee, thanks for the help.” I heard Kara mutter behind me as I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door. Oh, yeah, the fun was just about ready to begin. I stepped aside, letting her pass by and kicking the door shut.

By the time I got her and the baby all settled, I was doubly exhausted. I got that Kara was sore and uncomfortable, but she really needed to start stepping up. She hadn’t even fed Ariel once.

The nurse shoved a pamphlet at me right before I closed my car door, and I at least caught on to the fact that it had to do with the baby blues. I had no clue if that’s what was going on with Kara, and right now, I couldn’t even think about it as I closed my eyes, hoping to get a little bit of sleep before Ariel was ready for her next bottle. This was definitely something to get used to.

Chapter 26

Ally

“Already missing Ben?” I smiled as I flopped down next to Remy on her bed where she lay, looking like a sad little puppy dog.

“Yeah.” She nodded her head, and I patted her on the back. I sort of knew how she was feeling. I still felt like a part of me was missing, and I’m pretty sure Nick would have that piece forever. At least Ben and Remy seemed to be going strong, but I had thought things between Nick and I had been pretty perfect, too.

Ben had spoiled Remy while he was here. He ended up extending his stay, saying he wanted to be here for me, and while he was, he ended up spending most of his time with Remy. I was completely okay with that though, they both deserved the happiness that you could see radiating off of them whenever they were together.

“Listen, Al.” She sat up and gripped my shoulders, her gaze steadily holding mine. “There’s something I need to talk to you about. Please, don’t hate me.”

I scrunched up my nose at her. “Remy, I could never hate you.”

“You might after this,” she whispered. “I’m moving in with Ben, Ally. We talked about where things were going with our relationship, and we decided we didn’t want to do things apart from each other.”

“Oh,” I answered simply.

“So, that means I’m moving back to Indiana. I’ve already put my notice in at the hospital, and sent my resume in to the one that Leah works at. She says they’ve been hiring recently, and it helps that I have her as a reference.”

I processed everything she had just told me. It seemed like everything was happening so quickly, but I was happy for Remy and Ben, they were so great together. “You’re quiet. I’m sorry to throw this at you all at once. So, what do you think you’re going to do?”

I shrugged my shoulders, looking down to pick at my nail polish.

“You could always come back to Indiana with me, nothing’s really holding you here. You can really work from anywhere...” She trailed off when I looked up, clearing my throat.

“I don’t know, Remy. I need some time to think about it. I like it here, but you’re right, there really is nothing keeping me here.” I knew she meant Nick. I think she figured I was waiting for him to come back around or something, but I really wasn’t. I knew we were over. There was no ‘us’ anymore, and there never would be.

My parents already tried on multiple occasions to get me to move home, right along with Leah. I think that they had been plotting together. But, something was telling me to stay. It just felt like home. I’m not sure if it still would without Remy, though. I had a lot to think about.

“I’m happy for you.” I wrapped her in a hug before standing up. “I can’t believe Ben didn’t tell me though.” I pouted my lips at her and she threw a pillow at me before I shut the door.

My phone beeped just as I stepped back into my room, and I rolled my eyes when I saw it was a text from Danny. I’m pretty sure he called and texted me more than Leah, it was a little strange. He designated me as his new best friend, because apparently Nick hadn’t been up for the job lately. I had waved him off when he tried to go into detail, threatening the loss of my friendship, which cut him off immediately.

Danny: Meet up at Clammy’s?

Me: Sure, why not? See ya in 10.

I flicked off the light as I stepped out into the hallway, and yelled bye to Remy. I felt like I could definitely use a drink after Remy dropped her news on me. I needed to figure out exactly what I was going to do, and I needed to do it quick. Remy mentioned something the other day about her lease being up soon on the apartment, so maybe I could set up some sort of month to month arrangement.

I wasn’t sure how I would handle being here alone, though. Sure, I had Danny, but I’m guessing once Nick came back into the picture, he would probably end up dropping my ass. They had been friends for forever.

“Yo, Ally-Cat, over here,” Danny yelled from a corner table as soon as I swung the front door open. I nodded at him as I took my seat, and quickly snatched up the margarita that he already had waiting for me.

“Ah, that is exactly what I needed,” I said, after taking a long sip. He smirked as he pushed a basket of fries toward me and I grabbed a couple.

“Bad day or something?” He flicked his eyes toward the waitress, who brought him a fresh beer, and he gave her a big wink. The cockiness that rolled off of him was nauseating at times.

“I guess so.” I shrugged my shoulders as I opened up a menu even though I knew the whole thing by heart. “Remy’s moving back to Indiana. Now, I need to figure out what I’m going to do.”

“What?” His mouth gaped open. “You mean you’re thinking about leaving me?” His voice got whiny as he pointed a finger at me. “Not allowed to happen, sorry.”

“Don’t be such a girl.” I threw a fry at him, and he opened his mouth, catching it easily.

“Seriously.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned into the table. “You can’t leave, not yet. He needs you, Al, even if he doesn’t know it.”

“Who?” I asked, even though I knew the only
he
that Danny could be talking about was Nick. I think we had clearly come to the conclusion that he, in fact, didn’t need me.

“Don’t play stupid, Ally-Cat. Just trust me on this. Nick needs you.” He licked his lips before adding, “Really bad, no matter how much of a stubborn jackass he’s being right now. Things aren’t over between the two of you. I think he just needs a little push.”

I shook my head. “I think you’re wrong, Danny.”

“Whatever, just think about it, Ally.”

And I did. For the rest of the night, of course. I didn’t want to, but Danny had planted the doubt in my head, and I started up with all of the what-ifs all over again. What if Nick wasn’t with Kara any more? What if there was more to the story than Nick had let on?

I could feel my stomach knotting up as Danny droned on and on about sports. I tried to pay attention to him, but it just wasn’t happening. By the end of the night, I was just ready to go to bed and shut my brain off. Maybe sleeping on it would help. Or just make me even more confused. What in the hell should I do? Maybe I should go back to my whole
WWLD
thing again. It had worked on Teddy…eventually, so maybe it would work in this situation, too.

Okay, was I
really
about to do this? I stared at the outside of the house that had become so familiar to me, kicking at the gravel in the driveway, trying to build up the nerve to actually knock on the door.

An unfamiliar car sat in the driveway, and it made me think that Danny had been lying to me just to get me over here. Maybe he wanted me to cause a riff between Nick and Kara or something. I took a deep breath, and pushed one foot forward.

I considered just bypassing the house, and heading down the beach. It seemed much more peaceful there, but I didn’t want to be a chicken. So, I put one foot in front of the other, and then again, until I crossed the driveway and eventually made it up the sidewalk. I knocked on the door a few times until I heard Nick’s voice through the door. I was surprised I didn’t hear Gunther’s barks mixed in there, too.

The sound made me freeze, and all of those feelings that I had stuffed down came right up to the top, ready to spill out. I think I had come during the day, when he should be at work, because I really didn’t want to come face to face with him. He obviously didn’t want to see me. Did doing this make me pathetic?

“Come in, it’s open.”

I slowly opened the door and stepped in, closing it softly behind me. “I’m back here.” I followed his voice down the hallway, and came to a stop at his bedroom. I peeked my head around the corner, seeing him before he saw me.

He looked sexier than I had last seen him, if that was even possible. Stop it, Ally, sexy is bad. This asshole hurt you; he is in
no
way sexy. Nope. Not sexy at all sitting there in his recliner, in nothing but a pair of gray pajama pants, a trail of hair on his flat, tan stomach leading to…nope, not going to think about that.

I moved my eyes up, stopping when they landed on a pair of black square-framed glasses that I had never seen before. They gave him a sort of sexy, studious look, and his hair was a crazy mess like usual. I flattened myself against the wall in the hallway.

What in the hell was I thinking coming here? Was I just trying to send myself back into a downward spiral? I didn’t want to know what was going on in his life. If him and Kara were having their happily ever after, and he had moved on without a thought about me. No, I didn’t want to know.