One or Two Things I Learned About Love (28 page)

Everybody
else has finally crashed but I can’t sleep. It’s been the most incredible night. So incredible that I don’t even know where to start. So I guess I’ll start with Maggie, Cristina and Sara coming over. That was just before it began storming again. We decided to sleep in the family room in the basement because it was way hot and humid again today and it’s cooler down there. Plus there’s enough room for all the sleeping bags and for us to spread out. And there’s a bathroom and a mini fridge. So we don’t have to keep going upstairs or downstairs for stuff. We listened to music and played ping-pong. Then we played cards. Then we ordered pizza. After that we were ready to hunker down and watch a couple of movies. Maggie was doing Nomi’s nails. Cristina was crimping Sara’s hair. Typical slumber party. We were having so much fun that none of us could understand why it was the first time we’d done it all summer. (And now it was the last time we’d do it all summer.) Anyway, we were on our first intermission when Nomi thought she heard something. I said oh no, not again. She told me to shush. She turned down the music. We couldn’t hear anything but the storm really. At least Maggie, Cristina, Sara and I couldn’t hear anything. Cristina said anyway, old houses creak more than rusty swings. Nomi said it didn’t sound like her old house creaking, it sounded like someone trying to get in. Sara said so let them try. You have the alarm. Nomi and I looked at each other. It was one of those uh-oh looks. We hadn’t put the alarm on yet. The pizza man came and we ate. And then we were talking and recovering from pizza bloat. And then we started the DVD. So we hadn’t done the whole routine with the checklist and everything. You know, because it takes hours and we wanted to hang out, not lock up Fort Knox. We were going to do that later. I said maybe we should put it on now. Then it’ll be done. Nomi said what if there’s already somebody up there? I didn’t think there was. I said it’s not like we left the front door wide open. We locked it. We just didn’t put the alarm on. And everything else was locked. Nomi said was it? After we opened the living-room windows to get a breeze, did we lock them again? I couldn’t remember. But probably we did. It’s the kind of thing you do automatically. Turn off the stove. Turn off the iron. Lock the windows. I said you’re winding yourself up again. There isn’t anybody up there. I was sure of it. And then we heard what could definitely be somebody shutting the window they’d opened that we didn’t lock. Nomi turned the music off completely. Sara whispered that they were going up the stairs. Cris whispered that she didn’t hear anything. Maggie poked her to be quiet. That time, I did hear something that could’ve been someone – or someones – crossing the living room. The only light we’d left on was in the kitchen so they were going really slowly. And then we all heard someone trip over that extra step when you reach the hall. We didn’t know what to do. Go up after them? Flee? Maggie said we should lock the basement door and call the police. But the basement door doesn’t lock since the time Mrs Slevka got trapped when she was doing the laundry. So Nomi called the police. We couldn’t hear their side of the conversation but Nomi kept saying, “Well, no… Well, no, we—” and sighing and rolling her eyes, so we figured they weren’t going to send 16 squad cars with their sirens shrieking any time soon. I said we should go up and set off the alarm because that would freak them out and bring Mr Janofski running. Everybody thought that was a great idea. Sara thought we should have weapons. Some blunt, heavy objects. But Nomi said we wanted to surprise and disable whoever it was, not actually kill them. She dashed into the utility room and came back with a clutch of spray cans. Starch. Air freshener. Cleaners. Armed, we tiptoed up the stairs. Only when we got to the door that leads into the kitchen we could hear footsteps coming back downstairs. I guess because I’ve been lying so much that I’m used to thinking quickly when adrenalin is galloping through my blood system, I felt strangely calm. I told Nomi to go out the back and get Mr Janofski and his bare hands. The rest of us crept back to the basement. What were the chances they’d come down there? If they were smart, they were going to go through the living room and the study and grab cameras and laptops and stuff like that. And then they’d run. But just in case for some bizarre reason they figured the Slevkas kept their valuables in the cellar, we lined up on either side of the stairs, cans at the ready. It seemed like hours passed while we waited to be rescued by either the marine or the police. And then the door to the basement opened. We all stopped breathing. A lone figure stood on the top step for a minute or two. We couldn’t actually see him, but we could feel him. We had a light on so I guess he was listening for voices. I signalled to Sara and Maggie that we’d jump him on the count of three. He started down. I held up one finger. He reached the middle. Two. He stepped into the basement. Three! We jumped out spraying and screaming. Nomi and Mr Janofski must’ve been pretty close behind him because when he tried to run back up the stairs, he ran straight into Mr Janofski in his pyjamas and robe. Mr Janofski said, “Well, what do we have here?” And all of us answered at once, “It’s Connor!” As far as I can remember, we all sounded surprised.

I have to crash now. More tomorrow. When maybe it’ll all make more sense.

It
doesn’t. Make more sense. Nomi, Maggie, Cristina, Sara and I all agree on that. When we woke up we all looked at each other and Sara said, “We didn’t have some communal nightmare, did we? It did really happen.” Nomi said as bright, creative and imaginative as we all are, we couldn’t have made up last night. And
who
could?

So back to what happened. The police arrived while I was still explaining to Mr Janofski that what we had there was my boyfriend, not an unknown intruder. Mr Janofski wasn’t too impressed. He didn’t let go of Connor. He said, “
This
is your boyfriend? Your boyfriend broke into your friend’s house?” He said it more than once. Then the police showed up. They were a lot less interested than Mr Janofski. They thought it was just teenagers fooling around and they gave us all a caution about wasting their time and left. But there was no way Mr Janofski was going to keep his mouth shut and we knew it. We knew it because he said, “I’ll have to tell your parents, Nomi. You know that, don’t you?” Nomi said, “Oh don’t worry, Mr Janofski. I’ll tell them myself.” She was glaring at Connor. I wondered if she’d always disliked him so much. After Mr Janofski marched back across the lawn, Nomi, Maggie, Cristina and Sara all went inside while Connor explained to me less vaguely than he had in front of the others what he was doing climbing in through the Slevkas’ window when he was supposed to be camping by a river. What happened was that the Bowden men came back early from their fishing trip because Connor’s granddad’s gout started acting up. Connor called me on the landline while he and his dad were driving back but of course I wasn’t there. Zelda answered. I figure he was already a little charged up because he expected to find all these messages from me when he could get a signal again and there wasn’t one. Zelda told him I was at a party at Nomi’s. If she said “pyjama party” he didn’t hear that part. But he definitely heard the “Nomi” and the “party” parts. He knew it! He’d been right all along. Women can’t be trusted. I told him I’d be sitting at home missing him, but the minute he turned his back I was partying with my friends. So he came right over. He wanted to catch me in the act. Not the act where I was dancing and eating pretzels without him. The act where I was with another guy. It didn’t discourage him for even a blink when he got to the Slevkas’ and there weren’t any signs of a party. He figured we were all making out in the dark. That’s why he broke in like that. I asked him if he realized how much he’d scared us? For all we knew he was armed and dangerous. We were terrified. He said he didn’t mean to scare us. How could he? He didn’t think we were there all by ourselves watching a movie. He thought we were having a party. With lots of boys. I said and did he realize how much he’d embarrassed me? Having your boyfriend break into your best friend’s house makes him look crazy and you look like a fool. He said he didn’t mean to embarrass me either. It was just that he was really worried. I said that if a person was so worried, he would knock on the door. He said not necessarily. I said and anyway he
did
mean to embarrass me. He thought he was going to make a big scene and humiliate me in front of EVERYBODY. Connor said, “Well, I was mad.” I said he wasn’t the only one. And I marched back into the house and slammed the door. Set off the alarm and it wasn’t even on.

Nomi said I should never have given Connor her address. I said I didn’t. She said, “Oh. You think Zelda did?” I said Zelda’s lucky to know her own address never mind somebody else’s.

My phone was exactly where I’d left it when I got home this morning. Nobody knows anything about where it was or how it managed to put itself back in my room and plug itself in. I believe that Zelda and my dad had nothing to do with it. Zelda would’ve destroyed it somehow if she’d taken it. And my dad wouldn’t interfere like that unless I was a car. That leaves my mom and Gus. They’re like Batman and Robin when it comes to interfering (only without the masks and the Batmobile). Which, considering how Connor acted, may not be such a bad thing.

So it was the big inaugural barbecue today. Everybody came. Gran said she heard what happened with Connor. I pretended to be shocked and astounded by this. She said she was glad to see I was taking it with my usual good humour. She said it sounded like we girls had been very brave and level-headed. That was just what Mr Janofski said. He said we should all consider joining the marines. Gran said you know it’s not healthy for either of you, when someone’s so possessive and controlling. I had to ask. I said, “Is that why you lied for me when I told him I was with you and I wasn’t?” Gran said yes. She said love is about trust, not fear. (My mom and Gus aren’t the only caped crusaders in the family.) Then she wanted to know what I’m going to do. I said you mean am I going to join the marines? She said no, Hildegard. About Connor. I said I didn’t know. Which is true. One minute I never want to speak to him again, and the next I’m remembering some sweet thing he did or funny thing he said and feeling bad. Should I follow my heart or my head? Sometimes I think heart, because the heart’s about feelings. Other times I think head, because it’s my feelings that got me into this mess. Gran said maybe I could follow both of them.

Needless to say, Gran wasn’t the only person who’d heard what happened. You can’t pull a stunt like that and think Nomi, Maggie, Sara and Cristina won’t tell everybody they ever met. I could tell all the guys knew because they were all super nice to me and goofing around trying to make me laugh. But only Ely and Louie came out and said anything. Ely said he’s still available if I want to talk. His office is open any hour of the day or night, and his services include juggling lessons and stupid jokes. I said thanks. Louie gave me a DVD he’d put together to cheer me up. He said, “Don’t worry, Hildy. My offer to marry you if we’re still single when we hit 40 is still on the table.” I said that made me feel a lot better.