October Breezes (12 page)

“Then we’re agreed.” He kissed me on the forehead. A few steps later, he gently set me down and straddled the bench behind me. “Lean back.”

I rested my head under his chin. “What are we doing?”

“Watching the stars.”

I laughed and pointed at the cloudy heavens. “You can’t even see them.”

“Then I guess we’l just have to imagine them, won’t we?”

As I leaned back, I felt his deep voice resonating in his chest. “Are you warm enough?” Without waiting, he wrapped his arms around me.

“Yeah, this is nice.” The mist rose and disappeared. Snow softly fluttered into the water and several flakes colected on his letter jacket. “It’s a perfect night.”

“I agree.”

We sat there for thirty minutes before two other teenagers trudged down the path, laughing and stumbling as they made out.

The guy turned to us. Tyler. His hands cinched Becca’s waist.

“Hey, Kelin. Fancy meeting you here.” He slid his hands over Becca’s rear, and she kissed his neck.

I jerked upright and scooted away from Kelin. He too, sat up, frowning. “We were just leaving.” Kelin touched my arm.

“Skye has to get home.”

Tyler dragged Becca to the bench and fel next to us, his shoulder brushing mine roughly. Then he hoisted Becca onto his lap. His fingers quickly unbuttoned her shirt. “Don’t let us bother you.” He smiled, leaning closely so his breath, fouled with beer, left me dizzy. “You won’t even know we’re here.”

Kelin patted his shoulder. “Ye ah, we wil.” He stood and offered his hand. “Are you ready?”

“Sure,” I said, getting up. We stroled to his car.

Apprehensive, I kept enough space between us so that he couldn’t touch me. “Did you know they would be here?” He tried to put his arm around me, but I stiffened and dodged his touch.

“Not exactly. Tyler has lots of make-out spots. It’s harder to know where he doesn’t have one than where he does.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “Is that why you brought me here? To make out?” Although the lake stil shimmered in the moonlight, Tyler and Becca's arrival diminished it.

Kelin veered sharply, cutting me off. “Yeah, that’s it,” he said sarcasticaly. “I brought you here to make out and then kept my hands off the hot spots.” He shook his head. “What do you think?”

He raked his fingers through his hair.

“Then why did you bring me here?”

“I wanted to spend time with you. That’s it.” He looked at his friends. “Is this about Becca again?”

“No, this is about us. But she conveniently pops up wherever we go.” Staring at the lake, I brushed my hands up and down my arms to warm them.

“It’s Tyler,” he insisted. “He keeps dragging her along.

Don't blame me for what Tyler does.” He grabbed my fingers.

“Look, I don’t want to fight. I don’t what to ruin the great time we’ve had.” He kissed my hand.

“Me, either.”

“How about some hot chocolate now? We’ve stil got an hour before your curfew.” He wrapped his arm around me.

“Sounds great.”

He drove to IHOP and, as we waited to be seated, he held my hand, his fingers softly stroking mine. For the next few minutes, we enjoyed the warmth and the hot chocolate while sitting across from each other.

“Why'd you ask me out?” I finaly asked.

“I'd had about al the cheerleader I could stand and wanted someone who would like me for me. Besides, I wasn’t the first one to notice you. Tyler did.”

"I know. He asked me out earlier this year, and I turned him down." I blushed and fiddled with the sugar packets on the table. “He’s not my type.”

Kelin nodded, leaning back as the waitress delivered two steaming mugs. “Am I?” he asked, once the waitress had gone.

I toyed with the mug, knowing the cocoa was too hot to drink. “At first I didn’t think so, but now I’m not sure. You might be.”

“I might be?” He frowned. “Should I be insulted or flattered?”

I laughed. “Definitely flattered.”

“How so?” He took a sip.

“You’re not a brainless jock who only likes girls for one thing.”

“Their perfume?” He suggested helpfuly.

“Not exactly.”

“Ohhh…that,” he said smiling. “No, I’m not like most guys, including Tyler. There's more to life than footbal. I have straight ‘A’s’ because I actualy study from time to time, and I notice females are anatomicaly correct without having to take a closer look.” He watched my face, trying to read my expression. “I guess the question is if you like the whole package.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it.

“Of course.”

“So why haven’t you falen madly in love with me?” He batted his eyelashes and took a dainty sip. “Ain’t I adorable?”

“Quite.”

His expression turned serious again. “You like me, Skye.

Maybe you realy don’t want to, but it’s too late. I see that in your eyes. Stil, we both know part of you keeps me at a safe distance.

Why is that?”

I stiffened and ran my finger around the mug's top rim.

“Let’s just say I don’t often trust people. My dad didn’t exactly want me, and I don’t want to go through that again."

He nodded. “Wow. Sounds like a chalenge. You think I'm up for it?”

“Nope.”

“We’l see about that.”

I smiled and took a sip, thinking,
Maybe you’ll prove me
wrong. I hope you do.
"Didn't Tyler tel you that he'd asked me out?" I chewed my lower lip.

Kelin shrugged. "Nope. Then again, he hates being turned down." He traced the mug's rim. "It doesn't happen often, but when it does, he doesn't forget it."

"Is that why he doesn't like me?"

Kelin looked up sharply. "Okay, so his pride was wounded. He'l get over it. Besides, I think Becca's keeping him too occupied to think about us." He squeezed my hand. "I didn't come here to talk about Tyler. I came to enjoy the evening with you."

Chapter Eleven

When I stepped into the house, I heard the television droning. I touched my cheek, reveling in memories of his kiss. At the stair landing, I peeked down into the living room, and Mom smiled, muted the television, and waved for me to join her. Stil in her jeans and sweater, I guessed that Warren hadn’t left long ago.

She patted the couch next to her. “Have a seat.”

I started to take off Kelin’s coat, and I realized he hadn't asked for it back.

“Nice coat. I don’t remember you wearing it to the restaurant.”

“I didn’t.” I brushed the leather sleeves.

“He must like you.”

I shrugged. “I don't know.” I slowly took off the coat, wanting to savor wearing it as long as possible.

“I was going to ask how the two of you hit it off, but that answered my question.”

I sat next to her, the coat draped in my lap, the red “W”

facing me. “He’s realy sweet, but I’m not sure it's going to work.”

“He seems nice enough. Why wouldn’t it?” She pushed the power button to turn off the television.

“He’s the head of the footbal team,” I said. “And I haven’t got a single cheerleader bone in my body.”

“So?” Mom folded her arms across her chest. “Maybe that’s what made him notice you.”

I traced the huge 'W' sewn to the jacket. “Maybe. But what happens when he loses interest?”

“Maybe he won’t.”

I leaned against the couch, cushions cradling my head.

“That’s an awfuly big maybe.” Taking a deep breath, I started to tel the real problem. “Besides, Devin doesn’t like him.”

“Ah,” she said. She frowned and tapped the remote.

“Why is that?”

“He doesn’t trust Kelin.”

“Do you?” She picked up a mug of coffee from the end table and took a sip.

“I don’t know. We haven’t dated long enough.” I crossed one ankle over the other.

“Devin could be wrong, you know. He's probably not the most impartial person to judge your boyfriends, considering how he feels about you.”

I looked at her sharply. “What are you talking about?”

She arched one eyebrow. “Don’t you know? He’s in love with you—has been for years.” She took another drink.

“No, he’s not!” I stood. Even as I denied it, I remembered Devin's flushed face, and the sad expression he’d worn when he told me he couldn’t watch me date Kelin. Could she be right?

Setting the mug on the table, she stretched her arms over her head. “Believe what you want.” Seeing I was edging toward the doorway, she patted the couch next to her again. “Don’t rush off. I wasn’t done talking to you yet.”

Reluctantly I sat down again and set my hands in my lap.

Finaly after watching her open and close her mouth a few times, I said, “Okay, Mom, This is weirding me out. I feel like you’re about to drop a bomb.”

Mom sat up. “What kind of a bomb?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you and Warren secretly got married.”

She smiled. “Would that be so bad?”

“Yes!” I snapped, shaking my head. “What are you thinking? That he's gonna stick around?”

“I'm thinking of Las Vegas next month.”

“What?”

She touched my arm, squeezing gently. “Warren and I planned to go to Vegas in a couple of months.”

“What?” I said louder as I jerked to face her.

The smile dwindled away. “We bought plane tickets to go to Vegas and get married.”

I jumped up and paced around the room. “You can’t actualy marry him! It's one thing to say you're going to but another to actualy do it!” I sputtered. Then I looked at the engagement ring on her left hand, a beautiful diamond. “How could you do this—

without even talking to me?”

“I am talking to you,” she said calmly, but her tone sounded contrived. Frowning, she slowly sat up, her right hand covering the left as if to hide the ring.

“You’re talking now, after you’ve bought plane tickets?

How could you do this?” I yeled. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t stop.

My mother stood. “How could I do what, Skye? What horrible thing have I done?” She smacked the remote control down on the coffee table.

“You know!”

She nodded, her face flushed with anger. “Yes, it is horrible I’ve agreed to marry a man who makes me happy—a man who loves not only me but you as wel.”

I clutched Kelin’s jacket to my chest. “How do you know that, Mom? He’s practicaly a stranger you’ve known for a few months.” I glared. “He’s just traveling through on his way to greener pastures.”

Mom grabbed my chin. “No, he’s not. I know I only introduced you to him recently, but I’ve worked with him for years, Skye, and I know what kind of a man he is—”

“Just like you knew what kind of a man Daddy was?”

The color left her cheeks, and her jaw tightened. “Go upstairs, Skye. Maybe we can talk when you’re calmer.”

“Don’t you get it!” I shouted. “I’m never going to be calmer. Never.” I rushed up the stairs and slammed the door, knocking my glass ornaments from their shadow-box shelves. A carousel horse I’d had for years crashed onto my headboard and shattered. Wordlessly, I picked up the pieces and tried to puzzle the ornament back to its original shape, but the fragments would never form a horse again. Besides, my hands shook too badly to fix anything. Even as I tried, one shard stuck me, and when I puled it free, blood bubbled to the surface. Grabbing the trash can, I threw the jagged remains away. I lay across the bed and burst into tears.

“Don’t you make me love him. He’s going to leave us, just like Daddy,” I whispered. I spotted
To Kill a Mockingbird
and screamed, “I hate you!” as I hurled it across the room.

Nothing was ever going to be the same.

***

The next week Devin didn’t exactly go out of his way to avoid me, but he barely mumbled “hi” as he hurried to meet Bethany for lunch. More than once I thought about asking him if what my mother had said were true, but no good way to ask came to me. At best, I could ask, “By the way, I know you can’t stand me these days, but did you happen to be in love with me before I started dating Kelin?” I shook my head, trying to imagine us as a couple but couldn't. It’s not that Devin was unattractive. His dark hair feathered his face, highlighting his blunt chin and jaw. Midnight blue eyes had burned through me every time we'd looked at each other.

Yeah, he was gorgeous. I'd just never thought of us as anything more than best friends.

Mom had tried talking to me, but my grunting replies kept her at a distance. Between her and my anger, we couldn't resolve the sore spot between us. Warren didn’t come around much, but when I heard his voice as he chatted with mom, I made it a point to stay in my room.

“Great,” I muttered, “maybe I can save my alowance for a smal fridge and live in this room until I turn 18.”

The only person who even seemed remotely interested in how I felt about anything was Kelin. He met me at my locker before class every morning and drove me home in the afternoons.

Although our kisses deepened, I knew I was hardly ready for the next step, and true to his word, Kelin didn’t pressure me—at least not about sex.

More than once he had asked to make sure about Friday's party--the same party that something inside me wanted to say no to.

Even though I had already agreed to go, something felt wrong about it, and I knew he could sense that. Thinking of al the cheerleaders and footbal players who would be there left a bad taste in my mouth.

Finaly, o n Thursday afternoon as he drove me home, I asked, “Why is this party such a big deal?”

“Don't you want to go?”

No, I didn’t, but that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and I didn't need to destroy a relationship with the one person stil on my side. “Yes, I do, but I don’t like lying.”

“Can't your mom handle the truth?”

I shook my head. “The last ‘party’ I attended was Brenda Myers' seventh birthday bash at McDonalds. I was eight.”

He parked in my driveway and then turned to me, his arm propped on the seat. “There’s a good reason I want you to go, Skye. My friends haven’t given you a chance, including Tyler. I want them to see how wonderful you are. Then they'l accept you.”

I puled out my house key. “I’m never going to fit into your world, Kelin, no matter what.” I chewed my lip.

He took my hand, his fingers caressing mine. “I don’t believe that. Don't you want to be with me?” He leaned so close only inches separated our faces, and his breath teased my cheeks and lips. Nervously, I licked them.