October Breezes (7 page)

“He’l get bored, and then I’l have him.”

I heard them scoop up their purses and keys. Then they left. I counted to five, opened the door, and emerged, my body shaking. As I walked to the sink, I didn’t recognize the wild-eyed girl peering back from the mirror. A flush colored my cheeks , and a scowl had transformed my expression. Although I hadn't smiled much lately, this person appeared furious. Turning on the water, I realized my hands shook badly
. Everybody knew I was easy?

Funny, I hadn’t know—until now.
Hot tears ebbed down my face, and it took everything I had not to break down. I wet a paper towel and dabbed my face, then I reapplied my make-up as best my fumbling fingers alowed.

I peeked out, looking for the cheerleaders, but they had gone, so I headed toward the vending machines. Perhaps I should have gotten a salad or a burger, but the last thing I wanted was to stand in line as though on exhibit. Instead, I bought chips and soda.

Without saying a world, I sat across from Devin, tugged the bag open, and took a drink.

“Now that’s a great lunch.” Devin pointed to his tray. “I thought you liked lasagna.”

“I don’t feel ethnic today,” I replied tightly, carefuly averting my gaze. The last thing I needed was to fal apart right here. Crystal and Becca sat three tables over, commiserating.

Although I tied not to pay attention to them, I felt them staring.

“You al right?”

I grabbed my soda and saw Kelin and Tyler heading toward me, Kelin laughing as Tyler spoke and elbowed him. As Kelin headed to my table, he almost ran into Becca as she stood, and he grabbed her arms to keep his balance. She beamed a smile and spoke, grabbing his arm possesively.

That was al I could take; I strode toward the exit, leaving my chips and soda.

“Skye?” Devin caled, abruptly rising. He glanced at me, then at Kelin and Becca.

Ignoring him, I walked faster, heading toward the glass doors of the office. Within ten seconds, Devin had jogged up beside me and laid his hands on my shoulders, squeezing reassuringly.

“What’s wrong?”

I folded my arms across my stomach and swalowed hard.

“I feel sick. I’m caling my mom.” Stepping back, I forced him to let me go.

He frowned and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

“You were fine this morning.”

“Leave me alone!” I snapped. Tears clouded my vision, blurring everything. I brushed my hand across my face.

Devin stepped into my path and headed me off. “You're not sick. It's something else.”

I shrugged. “I don’t want to talk.” I slipped into the glass-waled office and told the secretary I needed to cal my mother. As I dialed, Devin watched me. Once she answered, I told her that I wasn’t feeling wel and asked her to come get me.

Devin was stil staring when I hung up. Maybe he hadn’t heard the rumors, but he would. I could imagine him, hands on hips, saying, "I told you so."

Realizing I wasn't going to talk, he shook his head and headed back to the cafeteria. On the way, he ran into Bethany.

They spoke and walked away together.

As I waited, Kelin pushed the office door open and stepped inside. The secretary smiled. “Kelin, aren’t you supposed to be at lunch?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but I saw Skye, and I needed to ask her about my English assignment. Would that be al right?”

The secretary nodded. “Make it quick. She's not feeling wel.”

"Thanks." He sat beside me. "Hey,” he said, sitting down.

“You okay?”

“I'm sick.” I glanced at the clock, gauging how much time had passed. “My mom's picking me up.”

He caressed my hand. “Sorry you don’t feel wel.”

“Don’t.” I puled away.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked softly, staring ahead.

“What did you tel Tyler and everyone else about us?”

Kelin frowned and raked his fingers through his hair.

“Tyler knows we’re going out. Who is ‘everyone else?’”

“Crystal Gailen and Becca Haskins.” I started trembling, my body violently shaking. My lips felt dry and I licked them, trying to ease the chapped sensation.

“I didn’t tel them anything. Becca saw us at the movies.

Why?” He leaned back, now staring at me expectantly.

My mom stopped outside the office where she tapped on the glass and waved to the secretary.

“I’ve got to go. My mom's here.” I stood.

Kelin rose. “I’l cal you tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” Maybe I should have said, “Don’t bother,” but deep inside, I wanted to believe him.

I didn’t eat much that night and spent the evening in my room. I'd thought about talking to my mom and intended to go downstairs, but as I opened my bedroom door, the doorbel rang.

Half-expecting it to be Devin, I stood stil, listening.

“How’s Skye?” Warren’s deep voice carried up to me, and I immediately wondered why he bothered.

“I think she’s got a stomach flu. She’s been in the bathroom a lot.”

I shook my head and shut the door, embarrassed.
Trust
Mom to tell it like it is.
I lay on my bed, and as I turned to one side, I spotted the worn copy of
To Kill a Mockingbird
Warren had given me. It sat on the bookshelf. Bored, I grabbed it and opened the cover to find an inscription.

I know you think I won't stay, but you don't know me, Skye, and you're not the only one who has tried to drive people away. My step-father gave me this book the day he first met me, and I told him he was wasting my time, much like you’ve told me. But that’s okay. I’l tel you the same thing he said to me: It’s my time to waste, and it won’t cost you anything. Let me waste my time, Skye. That’s al I’m asking. Just let me waste my time.

Warren

I kept staring at the page, knowing he must have meant the words he’d written, but I didn’t feel them. I wouldn’t alow myself.

He planned to stick around while I planned his exit.
Let’s see who
wins.
Stil, I was a voracious reader despite the lie I told Warren, and once I’d skimmed the back cover, I was intrigued. So I started reading.

By the time the phone rang, I was thoroughly caught up in Scout’s world. Then my mother knocked.

“Skye, are you awake, honey?”

I closed the book and thrust it on the shelf. The last thing I wanted my mom to see was me actualy reading Warren's gift.

“Yeah, I’m awake.”

She opened the door and poked her head into the room.

“Feel like talking to Kelin?”

My back tensed, and I wished I could go back to Maycomb, Alabama, with Scout. My mom came into the room holding the cordless phone against her chest to mute our conversation. Stil, if I said I didn’t want to talk, he'd know.

“Skye?” she repeated.

Finaly I said, “Yeah.”

She frowned and handed me the phone. Then she touched my forehead, gauging my temperature the same way she’d done since I was smal. For some reason, that gesture brought comfort, as though she could get rid of this pain if I let her. “You don't have a fever. Feeling better?”

“It’s my stomach,” I mouthed, and headed to my bed, carrying the phone.

“Don’t talk too long,” she warned before quietly shutting the door.

Waiting until she left, I lifted the receiver, hoping my voice didn't reveal the jitters I felt. “Helo?”

“Skye?”

“Yeah, it’s me .” I twisted a bit of my comforter around my forefinger and leaned against the headboard.

“How are you feeling?” Kelin asked. “You were pale when you left.”

“I’l be okay.”

“I know why you asked about Becca. I caught her running her mouth at the pep raly. I can understand if you’re angry, considering what I overheard, but I didn’t put those words in her mouth. I sure as hel didn’t talk about you like that.”

“Do you think about me like that?”

Silence. I waited, unwiling to fil in the blanks.

Finaly, he said, “That’s a loaded question, Skye.”

My stomach lurched. “Meaning?”

“You’re beautiful. To say my imagination doesn’t go places with that would be a lie, but that doesn’t mean that’s what we’re about. I don’t think of you as ‘easy,’ as Becca put it, and that’s not why I’m going out with you.”

My shoulders eased from the rigid line.
What if he’s
lying?
I heard Devin’s voice in my mind. “Then why are you going out with me?”

“Because you’re a mystery. You’re different, and I have to admit, I’m curious. I want to get to know you.”

Maybe Kelin was bulshitting me, and if I were smart I’d cut my losses, but he sounded so earnest.

“Don’t believe Becca,” Kelin went on. "She lies at the drop of a hat."

“It’s pretty humiliating, al these girls talking about me,” I admitted, blushing. I chewed my lip, glad he couldn't see my expression.

“I’m realy sorry.” His voice lowered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I told Becca to shut up in front of her friends.”

At first, I didn’t think I’d heard right, and I sat up straight, temped to ask him to repeat it. "You told her to shut up?”

“Yeah. She didn’t much care for it, and I’m not sure it wil stop her from shooting off her mouth, but it’s worth a try.”

“Do you know why Becca hates me?” I tucked the covers around my legs.

“No.”

I took a deep breath and clenched my eyes shut, hoping I wasn't making things worse by teling him. “She wants to go out with you.”

“She’s not my type,” he said. “And even if she were, I wouldn't be interested.” He paused, and I wondered what he was thinking before he asked, “Are we stil on for next weekend?”

“Yes.”

My mom knocked and opened the door. “You need to get off the phone and get to bed so you’l be able to go to school.”

I nodded, and she promptly closed the door and left. “I need to go.”

“Skye,” Kelin said. “I know this is tough, but I’d like to think we’re worth it. Are we?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think we are.”

“I’l see you tomorrow?”

Feeling the weight lifting off my shoulders, I said,

“Definitely.”

I hung up, stil imagining his face as he’d spoken. No matter how much I liked Kelin, some part of me didn’t completely trust him. Maybe I never would, but I wanted to believe in him.

I laid the phone on the nightstand and snuggled deeper into the covers. After a few moments, I drifted off. It wasn’t my alarm clock that woke me, but rocks pinging against glass. I hastened to the window and puled up the blinds. Devin stood with his hands in his jacket pockets.

I raised the window and leaned out. “What in the devil are you doing out there?” I whispered loudly. The winter air chiled me, and I folded my arms across my chest, trying to block it.

“I need to talk to you,” he answered.

“Now?” I shivered, wishing I were stil buried in the blankets.

“Yes. Can you come down?”

I shook my head. “No. If my mom catches me in the cold, she’l have my hide and yours, no matter how much she likes you.”

“You don’t have to act sick, Skye. I know the real reason you left. I heard the cheerleaders in my fifth hour. Why are you letting him do this?” he hissed.

“It’s not his fault," I snapped back. "Becca started the rumors.”

He stiffened. “You’re not that blind. He’s going to hurt you.”

Realizing nothing was going to change his mind, I finaly said, “I have to go.” I didn’t wait for his response because I knew what it would be. Instead, I lowered the window and drew the blinds. I turned off the light and changed into my nightgown, but this time it was a long while before I drifted to sleep. Fear and hope about Kelin filed my dreams with uneasy images.

* * *

Before he had his driver’s license, we’d would walk to school. But something was different this morning. I was glad I’d dressed warmly, considering the cold northerly breeze. Twirling a strand of hair around my finger, I frowned and stared at my watch's minute hand dismiss each second. It wasn’t like him to be late. Not long before the tardy bel, Devin puled up. Normaly, he would've kiled the engine and stepped out of the car; today, he let the engine purr as he sat in the driver's seat, his gaze fixed straight ahead. I opened the door and said, “Good morning” as I sat and braced my books against my chest.

“I suppose it is somewhere,” he replied. He waited for me to belt in and close the door before signaling and puling from the curb.

“I didn’t mean to make you mad last night,” I said. “Mom would have kiled me if she’d found us talking.” I looked at my watch. "Is everything okay? You're kind of late this morning."

Shaking his head, Devin said, "Not nearly late enough.

Don't sugar-coat last night, Skye. The last thing you wanted to do is explain anything to me.”

"Meaning?"

He didn't answer but instead focused on driving in silence the whole way. He puled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “This isn’t going to work.”

“What do you mean?”

“There are things I can do. I can handle you hating people because of your dad. I can handle the emptiness you feel. I can even help you pass algebra with a ‘B.’” He yanked the keys from the ignition. “But I’l be damned if I can watch a train wreck slowly unfolding. I’m strong, but I’m not that strong.” He clenched his jaw and banged the steering wheel. “I think it best if maybe your mom or…Kelin…drives you to and from school.”

He started to get out, but I caught his hand. “Devin, don’t do this. Don’t throw away our friendship because things are crazy right now.” My heart sped up, and I found myself breathing in shalow gasps as though I couldn't take in enough air.

Devin squeezed my hand. The morning light glittered in the tears pooling in his eyes, and his mouth twisted into a painful frown.

“I didn’t have to. You did it before I could.” Emotion streaked his tone, leaving it raw and gravely. He puled away from me. “We need to get inside or we’l be late.” He got out of the car. His back stiffened as he walked, his shoulders forming a hard line.

I sat dazed in a stunned silence. The first bel rang, jarring me. Outside the window, the landscape looked the same. Trees stood barren in winter's thral. The same grey filed the sky. But I would never be the same. I grabbed my books and rushed through the parking lot. Once inside, I scurried to math class and walked into the room where I sat, numb and cold.
He’ll come around,
I thought, but those were empty words.