Authors: M. a. Deolmos
The Ocean Series
Lock & Key Publications 107 N. State Road 25 Waynetown, IN 47990
Ocean Submerged by M.A. DeOlmos
Digital ISBN: 978-0-9906105-5-7
Cover Art by: Marya Heiman, Strong Image Editing:
Edited by: Danielle L. Stone & M.A. DeOlmos
Copyright 2014 M.A. DeOlmos
Printed in the United States of America Worldwide Electronic & Digital Rights Worldwide English Language Print Rights
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any form, including digital and electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the Publisher, except for brief quotes for use in reviews.
This book is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
When You Drown, I Drown…
I just have to start out this dedication to my ‘kick-ass’ readers and followers. You have given me more than I could have ever asked for as an author. This one…yes, this one is for you, because Ocean Hawthorne needs to grow the hell up and you all are going to see that he does. I can honestly say that I am in return your biggest fans!
Thank you for giving me a chance! I love you guys!
M.A De Olmos
The tires of my Range Rover screeched outside as Liv took off, making my skin crawl. It was a given something wasn’t right with Liv, but this wasn’t her typical nervous breakdown behavior.
No, this was much worse. I could feel it deep inside of me. The familiar feeling of my life spiraling out of control was beginning to take hold of me. When she asked me to let her go, there was so much more meaning behind those words.
She wasn’t just having a panic attack; Liv was acting out of desperation and I know exactly what people are capable of when they act out of desperation.
Fuck this shit
If I was going to let her say goodbye to me, we were going down together! “Law! Law, we need to go now! Where the hell are you?”
Walking around the maze of a studio, my nerves were unraveling with each passing second. Turning the corner, I punched the wall, my fist driving straight through the dry wall.
“What the fuck asshole?! I was taking a fucking piss! What the hell was that for?!”
“We need to go. Something’s not right with Liv and I’m not staying here. So come with me or stay I don’t give a shit, but I’m leaving.”
He looked me up and down then back to the hole I just put through the wall. “Yeah, I’m coming with you. Head out. I’ll lock up the back and be right out.”
I turned around, walking away before he even finished his sentence. I needed Liv in my arms; I needed to see she was okay. The drive to our condo was the longest fucking drive ever.
I jumped in my seat when my cell phone went off with Liv’s ringtone. I pulled it out quickly, answering it on the first ring. “Baby, you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get pissed. Baby?”
All I could make out were the haunting screams and cries coming out of Liv. Her voice was hoarse and strained as if she had been screaming for hours. I heard her say goodbye in between her screams and then a loud crash on the other end.
My heart wanted to bust out of my chest and I wanted to fucking beat the shit out of Law for driving so fucking slow!
“FUCK LAW! DRIVE FASTER! GO, GO, GO!” I shouted, kicking the shit out of his dashboard.
The next turn Law took, the truck nearly tipped over. I punched the gate opener and busted the gadget to shreds. As the gate started to open, slow as fuck, I jumped out of the truck and took off running.
The adrenaline, pain, fear, and hate shredding my veins open was a feeling I experienced not too long ago. They were the same feelings I had after my bike accident as I held my sister’s dying body in my arms on the side of the road.
I flew up the stairs, not seeing or feeling anything except for my need to get to Liv before I was too late. I couldn’t let her die too; I wouldn’t survive it.
Tears started pouring from my eyes on their own. When I reached our door, I kicked it open without a second thought. The smell and the sight of blood knocked the little wind I had left in my lungs out of me.
My body burned in its entirety as I took in in the site of Liv up against the wall on the floor, cutting herself with a big ass piece of glass. When she pulled her wrist out in front of her, I snapped out of my shock but reacted too slowly.
She dug the shard of glass deep into her wrist slicing upwards. When she got to her elbow, she turned white and fell over.
“No, baby no! Livie! Livie open your eyes! LAW! CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE! Don’t leave me baby. Please, I can’t fucking lose you too. LAW! I won’t make it Livie. I love you Livie. Don’t leave me, please!”
“Son. Let me sit in with Livie, you need to go home.”
I didn’t even bother to move, look up, or even acknowledge my dad. Two weeks I’ve stayed here in this sickening too white, too bright, and too sanitized hospital room, waiting for Liv to wake up. I wasn’t about to leave now…for what? Besides, I didn’t have a home without her.
“Alright son, Layla should be up in a little bit to check on her pain meds and IV’s. I’m heading home, goodnight son. I love you Ocean.”
I nodded in his direction so he could get the hell out. I heard him sigh out loud as he made his way out. I still loved the old man, but there wasn’t shit anyone could do or say to me to get me to leave.
I wasn’t leaving until Liv was awake. If it weren’t for Law, I would still be wearing the bloody clothes from the same night I found her slicing her arm open in our condo.
I closed my eyes as the vision of my last conversation with Liv replayed in my mind.
The soft sound of the room door creeping open caused me to look up. It was only Aunt Layla, so I slouched back in my chair.
“Hey Ocean, I see you’re still standing guard.”
I looked at her briefly to acknowledge her presence. I never felt right completely disrespecting my Aunt. I think mainly because I knew she would kick my ass for being such a dick.
“You could at least shave that god-awful beard you have growing in, Ocean. You have the poor nurses fearing to step off the elevator during their shifts.”
I smiled inwardly; they were lucky I took time to shower.
“Fine. I will finish up and then leave. Do you need anything while I’m here?”
“No thanks Aunt Layla, I’m fine.”
“Bullshit you’re fine. You forget I am your cousin’s mother and your father’s sister too. When you Hawthorne men hurt it’s written all over you inside and out.”
I shifted in my chair, refraining from wanting to tell her to do her job and then get the hell out. I’m thankful she took me shifting uncomfortably as a sign that I was about to snap.
She worked quietly on Liv making sure her IV’s were still flowing well. She checked Liv’s vitals, redressed her wounds, and other stuff.
After the incident with the male nurse they sent in here when Liv was stabilized enough for her first sponge bath, Aunt Layla taught me how to do it myself since I nearly broke the guy’s neck when I saw the orange half-moon shaped bucket and sponge in his hands.
For two weeks now, I was the one to bathe her, brush her hair, talk to her, and play music for her. I knew once she woke up, I would never be the same but I wasn’t leaving until I saw those brown eyes look back at me one last time.
Or so I told myself
I had no intentions on leaving Liv for good, but I wasn’t in the best frame of mind to stay and help her. Her attempt to commit suicide was painful in itself because I love her; what hurts me the most was the fact that I wasn’t enough for her to keep from giving up.
I promised her that if she drowned, I’d drown right along with her and that was exactly what was happening. She gave up and let herself drown. Now I’m slowly letting myself sink to eventually reach the bottom to drown and die myself.
Aunt Layla finished up; not leaving until she felt Liv was as comfortable as possible. Last week she warned me that there was severe nerve damage done to Liv’s wrist and hand after she came out of surgery. I was okay with it; hell I’d be okay with it if they cut off her fucking arm. Just so long as I didn’t have to bury her like I did my sister.
It was ten minutes past midnight and usually around this time, I would turn on the playlist for Liv. I didn’t really care if she could hear it or not. I couldn’t just sit here and wait for a miracle in complete silence.
She may not be able to hear it, but I knew the music was doing something to her. Every time I played it, her heart rate would go up a little. It was a shot in the dark. Seeing Liv stuck this way any longer would have my already questionable sanity ready to dive off the roof of this hospital.
The playlist was comprised of four songs; Glowing and Before the Worst by The Script, Execute Me by Medina, and Living Louder by The Cab. I pressed play and watched the heart rate monitor. By the third verse of the first song, her heart rate went up the usual four beats per minute.
I rested my head on the back of my chair and closed my eyes. I never really slept because I refused to miss anything or be asleep when she woke up. Instead, I simply rested my eyes while listening and feeling for her to move.
“Thank you Stella. I’ll be sure to let the front office know you have complete access to our unit at any time. Okay, talk to you soon. Bye.” I hung up with Stella tossing the phone onto my bed as I let my back fall and slap against the mattress.
Looking up at my ceiling, the tears paraded down the sides of my face. For the millionth time since Sunshine’s accident or whatever you want to call it, I was crying for her.
Shit. Men cry too and if you asked me, that’s what separates a man from a boy. A boy would try to tough shit out while they are dying from grief on the inside. That was why I wasn’t too proud to cry and anyone who thought of me as a pussy for it would get my fist to their face. There was something about punching someone in the face that could make me feel so much better right about now.
It’s been two weeks and each day has seriously gotten worse instead of better. Not having Sunshine close to me was eating away at my heart. She stumbled into my life, only to try to tear herself out.
I shouldn’t have taken her side that day. I should have let Ocean follow her home. It was my fault that she had the opportunity to hurt herself and almost kill herself.
I didn’t care if that’s what she wanted. She couldn’t just leave me after walking into my life and turning it fucking upside down. I loved her too much. Most importantly, I needed Sunshine more than she ever knew.
I should have showed her how special she was to me every damn day. But I overlooked her need for help, relishing in my own stupid excitement about a fucking studio I was supposed to open with her.