Not the Marrying Kind (34 page)

“Would you open the door, honey, and let
this miserable old man come in for a spell? I won’t keep you up
long, but I think we need to talk things over.”

She stared at the door, wishing she could
see through it. Her Pa rarely came to her room, only if she were
sick or hurt. He never came to talk. Her room was her territory. He
always wanted to talk in
his
study.
His
territory. He
could be in control there.

Feeling a bit more in control herself, Kat
scooted off the bed and grabbed her long robe.

“All right,” she said, crossing the room to
open the door. “I am tired, Pa, and you need your rest, too, so
maybe we can keep this short.”

He chuckled and nodded. “You’re a chip off
this old block, for sure, Kat. You always like to keep things
short, sweet, and to the point.”

“I learned that from you.” She’d learned a
lot from her father. Practical things like ranch-related issues,
and moral things like loving your neighbor, treating others in the
way you wanted to be treated, and putting others’ desires ahead of
your own.

“Well, I said I wouldn’t keep you, so here
it is. I’m standing here at your door, honey, asking you to forgive
me. I didn’t know the boy meant so much to you.”

“How could you be so blind? Pa, I’d do
anything to keep him safe. He’s been hurt, and all you have to do
is look at him to know he’s afraid. I gave him my word. I promised
I’d keep him safe.”

“You think his father is dangerous?”

Kat glanced down at the floor. She had no
way of knowing what John Brooks was like, other than judging from
Benjamin’s actions. “Yes, Pa, I do believe he is.”

“So you’re worried about the boy’s
safety?”

“Pa, what a foolish question. Of
course.”

“He can’t hide forever, honey. Maybe you
don’t know exactly where he is, but a fourteen-year-old kid isn’t
all that hard to find. Sure as sunrise, he’s holed up in one of the
caves around here, probably not too far from Cody’s cabin.” He took
Kat’s hands in his. “Let’s both be reasonable, shall we? I’m
willing to make a deal with you.”

“A deal?”

“I’ll look out for Benjamin. I’ll make sure
he’s all right. In return…”

Kat sighed. “You want me to marry Reverend
Kendrick.”

“Marry him, Katherine. Be a good and
faithful wife to him, and the Lord will bless you. Make me proud,
make me happy. Give me the grandchildren I yearn to hold, and—” His
voice faltered. In eighteen years, not once had Kat ever seen her
father cry. Even when Robb drowned and they pulled his body from
the creek and laid him out at the funeral parlor, Pa stood stoic
and dry-eyed through it all.

That’s where she got her grit from, Kat
reckoned. Only now, since Joshua Barron had come into her life,
she’d turned into a regular watering pot, spouting tears at the
slightest provocation.

She winced at the thought of the man. No
matter how much she loved him, he didn’t love her in return. He’d
never loved her. He’d only used her for his own pleasure, and all
the while, his only true interest in her had been as a prospective
wife for his deranged woodcarving cousin. The humiliation still
stung.

“If I agree to do this, Pa, you promise
you’ll protect Benjamin?”

“I’ll do right by the boy. I give you my
word.”

He held out his arms to her. Kat stepped
forward, still hesitant, and more than a little distraught at what
she’d just done. She’d willingly consented to marry Virgil
Kendrick. If that was the only way to guarantee Benjamin’s safety,
so be it.

After Pa left, she flung herself across the
bed and cried herself to sleep.

* * * *

Sunday morning dawned gray and somber, a
perfect backdrop to Kat’s gloominess. She lollygagged around her
bedroom, refused to get dressed, and finally feigned a
headache.

“I’m not going to church this morning,” she
told her mother.

“Reverend Kendrick will be very
disappointed.” Amanda smiled benevolently at her daughter. “Honey,
you made the right choice. I know you fell hard for that handsome
fellow, but men like that aren’t the sort who make decent husbands.
You deserve so much more, and trust me, once you’ve spent more time
with Reverend Kendrick and start to feel comfortable around him,
you’ll be grateful he was willing to take you for his wife.”

“No way in hell.”

“Watch your language, Kat.”

“Sorry, Mama. It just slipped out.” No it
hadn’t
slipped
out. Kat had spat it out deliberately, trying
to make her mother angry. Unhappiness and misery were like
contagious diseases and could quickly spread from one person to
another. So acute was her distress, she wanted to inflict it upon
everyone.

Except Benjamin. She’d sacrificed herself to
save him, but she felt no ill will toward him.

“Be sure nothing like that slips out in
front of Reverend Kendrick, honey.” Mama smoothed Kat’s hair. “Are
you sure you won’t come with us?”

“I’m sure. You probably wouldn’t want the
reverend to see me looking like this, would you? My eyes are red,
my lips are swollen. I look a fright.”

Mama laughed. “You’re right. You do need a
little rest.”

She waited no more than a couple minutes
after the buggy disappeared from view. Quickly she splashed her
face with cold water, ran a brush through her hair, then headed for
the door. With Mama and Pa off to town and set to enjoy another of
Kendrick’s long-winded exhortations, plus all the handshaking and
back-clapping that went on afterward during fellowshipping, Kat had
more than enough time to ride out to Cody’s cabin and pass the word
on to Benjamin that he would now be safe, at last. He could come
out of hiding. He could even come home to the Rocking P, if that’s
what he wanted.

But when she reached the cabin and said as
much to Cody, he shook his head. “I’d rather keep Benjamin here
with me, Miss Kat, if you don’t mind. Not that I don’t trust your
father.” He shrugged. “I’d just feel better with Benjamin here at
the cabin.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll ride out later and bring him back.”
Cody chuckled. “I know this place of mine’s not much to brag about,
but it’s a sight better than crawling around inside that cave. He’s
a brave fellow, you know.”

“Yes, he is.” She wished she could see
Benjamin and speak to him. She wanted to tell him herself that
everything would be all right now.

For him. Not for her. Nothing would ever be
right in her life again.

“How come your Pa changed his mind?” Joshua
asked. He'd been standing nearby, listening to the exchange between
Kat and Cody.

“I had a talk with him, explained the
situation." Kat couldn't look at him. It would make her heart ache
too much. "I told him about the abuse Benjamin’s father had handed
out to his son.” She made no mention of the awful bargain she’d
struck with Pa. Joshua didn't need to know, and talking about it
would be painful.

“Glad your old man decided to listen to
reason.” Joshua grabbed his hat and followed Kat to the door. “I’ll
ride back with you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m not doing it because I have to. I’m
doing it because I want to.”

Kat gave a quick nod. “Suit yourself.”

The skies darkened as they rode across the
creek toward the open range. Her already bleak mood darkened too.
Questions filled her mind. Could her father truly be trusted? Or
was Cody right in keeping a close watch on Benjamin to protect him?
Her father had proved himself more than capable of deceit by the
underhanded way in which he’d sold the Rocking P, keeping the deal
quiet and resorting to trickery to get Kat to do as he wanted.

Of course, Joshua had been right in the
thick of it with her father. The only difference was that his
objective wasn’t for her to marry Reverend Kendrick. He’d wanted
her to marry Cody. Kat wasn’t sure which was worse.

“You still mad?” he asked as he rode
alongside her.

“Hell, yes. Shouldn’t I be?”

“Probably.”

A sudden gust of wind shuddered over the
earth, sending up thick clouds of dust and debris. At almost the
same moment, thunder rumbled above them, and the skies opened.
Huge, cold drops of rain pelted the riders. Thankful for the poncho
she always carried with her, Kat yanked it free from the saddle and
spread it open. She pulled it tight over her head and
shoulders.

“Damn weather! You’d think God would at
least give a little warning.”

Joshua chuckled. “Thought I’d left this sort
of thing behind in Missouri when I came out west. Back there we
used to say if you didn’t like the weather, just sit tight and wait
a couple minutes. Sure as shooting, it would change.”

“Yeah, well, it changes fast here, too, as
you can see. Damn, this is going to be a gully-washer.” The wind
had picked up, and within the last few minutes, the temperature had
already dropped several degrees. Rain beat down upon them.

“Kat, we’ve got to get out of here. We can
head back to the cabin.” Joshua reined his horse around.

“We don’t have time. This storm is going to
hit full force long before we could get back.”

“Yeah, but the ranch is even farther away,
and we’d be riding right into the storm. If we head for the cabin,
we’ll be ahead of it.”

“We can’t outride a storm like this. It’s
moving too fast.” She leaned low over Sadie’s neck and pressed her
legs against the horse’s flanks. “Follow me. There used to be a
little shack not far from here.”

She and Robb had often played there when
they were kids, but she hadn’t been back to the place since he’d
died. It hadn’t been in the best condition even then, and Kat
wondered if it were still standing.

“Yes! Over there.” Through the trees, she
spied the small, squat shack.

They rode for it, reaching it just as
another thunderclap shook the earth around them. As soon as they'd
dismounted, Joshua grabbed Kat's hand. Together they ran for
shelter.

“I hope Benjamin is all right,” Kat said as
she pushed open the door of the shack and stepped inside. “Do you
think he's safe? The rain won’t get in where he is, will it?”

“He’ll be fine. Cody and I gave him a good
supply of food. He’s got candles for light, plenty of blankets.
Yes, the cave will keep him sheltered.”

“Good.” That was one worry off her mind, at
least. She pulled off her poncho and shook it out. “This little
shack isn’t much, but at least it’s dry.” Kat sat down on the dirt.
Maybe once there’d been floorboards, but they’d long since rotted
away. Wet, cold, and miserable, she hugged herself, wishing she’d
never set foot out of the house that morning. “This is what I get
for being disobedient, I suppose.” She glanced up. Joshua stood
looking down, a strange expression on his face.

“What are you talking about?”

“This storm...the way it came up so
sudden."

Joshua frowned. “You think you deserve to be
caught in a storm because you did something wrong? In the first
place, what in the hell did you do that was so bad?”

“I missed church this morning. I pretended I
didn’t feel well.”

“So now, you think God is punishing
you?”

“Probably so.”

Joshua sank down on his haunches beside her.
“That’s the craziest thing—well, one of the craziest things—I’ve
ever heard. Hate to break it to you, Kat, but God’s got a lot more
on His mind than worrying about whether or not you make it to
church on a regular basis. And even if He were a bit ticked off at
you, for whatever reason, I doubt he’d see fit to throw a
gully-washer at the Colorado Territory all because of you. The
world doesn’t revolve around you and your moral actions, Kat.”

She looked at him, shocked at first by his
blunt remarks, then willing to admit he was absolutely right about
everything. “Thanks, Joshua. I needed somebody to set me
straight.”

Even if that somebody was the same man who’d
been in cahoots with her father, the man who’d pretended to be her
friend and who had worked against her all the while.

Kat sighed. She couldn’t blame Joshua for
wanting the ranch, but damn it! Couldn’t he and her father have
been honest with her?

It was too late to change any of it now.
Deals were done, choices had been made, and people had to live with
the consequences of their actions. Someday, her father and Joshua
Barron would both get what they deserved.

And what would she get for all her
trouble?

Virgil Kendrick.

She shivered. Joshua put his arms around her
and drew her close.

“If I had it to do over again, Kat, I might
do a lot of things differently in my life.”

“Yeah, well, life doesn’t give second
chances.”

She leaned against Joshua, enjoying the
solidness of his body. It felt good. It felt comfortable. It felt,
above all, familiar. Sighing, she thought of the pleasures his body
had given her. Their intimacies had been wrong. Wrong because he’d
been using her. Wrong, too, because she’d been using him.

Aghast now to think of her selfishness—her
silly belief that once she’d given herself to Joshua and confessed
her sins, Reverend Kendrick would shun her, would want nothing more
to do with her—Kat closed her eyes in shame. Instead of driving
Kendrick away, she’d played right into his hands, proving that she
lacked spiritual wisdom, that she could too easily be led astray,
that she needed a wise man with a firm hand to guide her. She’d
proved, too, that she needed forgiveness.

So did Joshua.

When he’d signed the contract to buy the
Rocking P, he hadn’t done it to hurt her. Even when her father had
asked him to rustle cattle off the ranch, Joshua’s intentions,
although misguided, had been good. The true problem, Kat realized
with a start, was all the deception that had gone on over those
last few weeks. She was as much a part of the deceit and dishonesty
as either Joshua or her father. She’d told one lie after another
and had rooked Lucille into her trickery as well. She had no right
to be hurling any stones at anyone else.