Not the Marrying Kind (36 page)

“Sure he’ll appreciate your concern.” Joshua
scratched at his chin. “He told you about Brooks, didn’t he?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Yes, he did.” She sucked
in a deep breath and looked away. “I told you, Mr. Barron, I’m
really sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong, and if there were
any way I could make it up to you, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“I know.”

“When I first saw Benjamin, I should have
realized whose son he was. The resemblance between him and his
father is strong. I should have guessed who he was, but I was so
determined to leave the past behind me…” Her voice trailed off.

“Brooks must have gotten word that you’d
come out here to Colorado. He and Benjamin were headed for Denver
when the boy slipped away.” Since bringing Benjamin out from his
hiding place, Joshua and Cody had talked to him and gotten more
information.

“So you think he’s coming after me?”

“Sooner or later, he’ll be looking for you,
Maddie. Right now, he’s wanting to get his son back. Unfortunately,
that means he’ll be headed for Sunset. You’d do well to keep your
eyes open. Better yet, you might want to move on, find someplace
safer.”

“My life doesn’t matter all that much,” she
said, leaning against the door. “I’m a haggard old woman with a
scarred face and a sinful past. Not much for me to live for. But
Benjamin’s a boy. He’s got a life ahead of him.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Maddie. You’re a
beautiful woman. You’ve done some things wrong, but so have we all.
At least you’ve had the decency to admit it and try to make things
right.”

“I’ll keep a watch out for Brooks. If I see
any sign of him, I’ll get word to Cody.”

“Thanks.” Joshua tipped his hat, pointed to
the envelope, and said, “Make sure Kat gets that.”

* * * *

On Thursday afternoon, Kat strolled through
the narrow aisles of McIntyre’s Mercantile, running her hand over
the bolts of fabrics in the sewing section. White satin, Mama said.
Nothing else would do.

She’d wanted to protest, of course, but how
could she?

“Something old, something new.” Lucille
followed alongside her, chanting the familiar wedding rhyme.
“Something borrowed, something blue.” She stopped in front of a
spool of blue velvet ribbon. “This would be perfect for your hair,
and of course, I’ll loan you a hankie. Your dress will be new, and
I’m sure you’ve got something old, don’t you?”

“Mama’s pearl necklace. She’s been saving it
for this occasion.”

“But if you borrow the necklace from
her
, then what am I supposed to give you? I mean, you can
only have one thing borrowed, can’t you?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t really care.” Kat
couldn’t feign any interest in her nuptials. Each passing day
brought her closer to that dreadful moment when she and Virgil
Kendrick would be joined in holy matrimony, and as far as she was
concerned, her life would effectively come to an end. Kat Phillips
would cease to exist. All that would be left of her would be an
empty shell bearing the name of Katherine Kendrick. How awful it
sounded to her ears!

“Five yards of white satin, two dozen pearl
buttons, a few yards of lace trim, and all the seed pearls you’ve
got.” Kat’s eyes got misty. Women were supposed to cry when they
spoke about their wedding day, and she was certainly doing that,
but for all the wrong reasons.

“And the tulle, Kat! For your veil.” Unlike
Kat, Lucille obviously felt genuine excitement at the thought of
the upcoming wedding. Or maybe she was only excited at thinking of
the profits the store would make from the sale of so much fine
fabric and fancy notions. Her mother, of course, would be making
Kat’s wedding dress.

Kat nodded and turned to inspect a card of
buttons, her mind going back to the day when Joshua had brought her
his shirts and asked her to do a bit of mending. He’d been checking
out her skills, she realized, assessing her qualifications as a
wife for Cody, never for himself.

He’d never had the slightest interest in
her. He’d only wanted the ranch.

Damn the man! And damn her for falling for
him.

As if the devil heard her thoughts and chose
to play havoc with her heart, the door opened and Joshua Barron
stepped into the mercantile. He spotted Kat immediately and
froze.

She choked back the emotions surging through
her. “Hello, Joshua.”

He stared but didn’t say a word.

“How’s Benjamin?”

He kept staring. Finally he nodded. “He’s
all right.”

So many things she wanted to say! She wanted
to run across the store, throw herself into his arms and beg him to
take her away…somewhere…anywhere! But in the first place, Joshua
didn’t want her, and in the second place, running away now would
put Benjamin’s life at risk. Better to sacrifice her own life than
expose him to danger.

She wanted to forgive Joshua, Kat realized.
He loved the ranch, too, wanted to wake up every morning to the
golden sunlight, the green hillsides, the majestic mountains to the
west. They were a lot alike.

Most of all, she wanted to tell Joshua how
deeply she cared for him, how very much those intimate moments
they’d shared had meant to her. But Lucille stood at her side,
watching closely, her eyes narrowed and sharp.

“You need to finish your shopping, Kat. I’ll
go wait on Mr. Barron.”

“Yes, do that.”

She looked away, but as she turned, she
caught sight of him coming toward her. He walked past Lucille,
leaving her to stand and stare. Kat’s shoulders shook as she fought
to hold back the sobs.

“I understand congratulations are in
order.”

“You’ve been misinformed, Mr. Barron,” she
said coolly, not turning to face him. “It’s considered quite
impolite to congratulate a bride-to-be.”

“Oh, really?”

Keeping her back to him, she nodded. “It
implies that the woman was lucky to find a man.” Of course, in her
case, that could be considered true, except that the man she’d had
the misfortune to find was Virgil Kendrick.

“Well, I don’t know what to say.”

“You’re supposed to offer best wishes,
that’s all.” She finally got up her gumption and turned to look at
him. Dear Lord, how could any man be so handsome, so virile, so
damned desirable it made her ache all over for wanting him? She
squeezed her eyes shut.

“Best wishes, Miss Kat. I hope you and the
reverend will be real happy.”

When she opened her eyes, Joshua was
gone.

With a heavy heart, she completed her
shopping. Even as Olive McIntyre and her daughter prattled on about
the design for her wedding dress, Kat remained silent. All she
wanted now was to get it over and done with. Like the ranch hands
used to say when somebody had a toothache, the sooner you yanked it
out, the sooner the pain went away. Except in her case, her misery
would never end.

But her hopes soared late that evening when
a knock sounded at the front door.

Could it be Joshua coming to call? Just once
more, she wanted to see him, wanted to be in his arms again. She
wanted to put her head on his broad shoulders and cry until all the
tears were gone.

What she really needed was his
understanding. Of course, what she did and who she married was of
little consequence to Joshua.

I hope you and the reverend will be real
happy.

She thought again of his caustic remark. He
didn’t approve of her marriage, but only because he’d hand-picked
her to be Cody’s wife and now that little plan had been foiled. Or
was that the only reason?

Kat’s breath quickened. She’d seen anger in
his eyes, yet she’d also seen disappointment. Even though he’d
never once said he loved her, hadn’t he shown his love in other
ways? She’d felt more than passion with Joshua. She’d felt real
love. In her heart, she knew he cared for her. Knowing of his
feelings did nothing to ease her anguish. It only made it
worse.

“Somebody’s here to see you.” Emily Sue’s
voice broke Kat’s thoughts. Her little sister stood in the open
doorway of her room, rolling her eyes. “I think I liked you better
before you turned into a woman and fell in love. Now you’re acting
silly all the time.”

“Who is it,” she asked, rushing to peer out
the window.

“It’s not who you want it to be.”

Kat let out a sigh. Had she really expected
Joshua to come calling? Of course not.

But neither had she expected Maddie Marlowe
to pay her a visit.

“This is a surprise,” she said upon entering
the parlor and seeing the scarred woman seated there with her hands
folded primly in her lap. Lately, she’d heard gossip about Maddie
Marlowe. Rumor was that she’d sold her body for money, that she’d
worked the oldest profession for years before finding salvation and
coming west. Kat wouldn’t hold it against her.

Maddie rose when Kat stepped into the room.
“I know it’s late, Miss Phillips, but I have something for
you.”

Another unwanted wedding gift, no doubt.

“Fine, thank you. Just leave it on the
table.” She gestured, then walked away.

“I need to speak with you, please.”

Kat stopped, caught by the emotion in the
woman’s voice. Slowly, she turned. “All right, what is it?”

“You’ve probably figured out by now that Mr.
Barron and I are acquainted with one another.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t make any
difference.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking.” The woman’s
blush made the scars on her face even more noticeable. She looked
away. “What you’ve heard about me is true, but Joshua never—”

“I don’t care what he did, Maddie.”

“Yes, you do. You’re in love with him, and
he’s in love with you.”

Tears welled in Kat’s eyes. Even if it were
true, what good would it do? As Pa would say, she’d already made
her bed and as disgusting as the thought was, she’d have to lie in
it now…with Reverend Virgil Kendrick at her side.

“It’s too late. I’m going to marry Reverend
Kendrick.” She stared at the floor, studying the worn floral
pattern beneath her slippered feet.

“Joshua is leaving. You might be able to
stop him.”

“Leaving?” Her chin snapped up.

“He plans to ride out tomorrow. I thought
you’d want to know.”

“Did he say where he was headed?”

Maddie shook her head. “He didn’t say, and I
didn’t inquire. He asked me to give you this.” She held out an
envelope.

With shaking hands, Kat tore it open. She’d
expected a letter, but only a short note was enclosed, along with
the contract he’d signed making him the owner of the Rocking P
Ranch. Tears fell unchecked as she stared at it. She knew at once
what it meant. Joshua was leaving for good. He was never coming
back.

On the contract, he’d scratched out his name
and written hers in.

She read his note.
All you have to do is
sign, Kat, and the ranch is yours.

What a foolish man! She crumpled the
worthless sheet of paper. Signed by her or not, it wouldn’t make a
damned bit of difference. Not to Pa. And certainly not to any court
of law.

* * * *

Joshua saddled up early on Friday morning.
The sooner he got away from Sunset, the sooner he could once again
pick up the pieces of his life and try to put them together in a
way that made sense. As he rode off from the cabin, though, he had
a feeling nothing would ever make sense again.

Just what in hell did he think he was
doing?

He was avoiding trouble. Yeah, that was it.
John Brooks would probably show up, and no telling what Joshua
would do if he ever laid eyes on the worthless piece of shit.
Brooks owed him. It would be mighty tempting to beat the man to a
pulp, and then where would he be? Probably locked up in another
stinking prison cell on another conviction for murder.

He rode on westward, certain he was doing
the right thing.

On Saturday, he thought of Maddie Marlowe.
He wasn’t too sure, but he suspected maybe somewhere along the way,
he’d forgiven her. Nothing gained by holding grudges, especially
now that she’d come forward and admitted her lies. By rights, the
woman should have spent a little time behind bars, too. Giving
false testimony was a crime, after all. But she’d already been
through enough hell to last a lifetime, and her scarred, misshapen
face won sympathy from the judge. He’d let her off the hook, and
she’d wisely disappeared before he had a chance to reconsider.

On he rode, hoping Maddie would be all
right. Surely she would. She’d never named Brooks as the man who’d
killed Frank Lundy. All she’d done was change her story and tell
the judge it hadn’t been Joshua, after all, as she’d first
believed.

By Sunday, his damned leg hurt so bad he
could barely ride, but maybe that was because he was thinking so
much about how it all happened, how Brooks had shot up Lundy first,
then turned the pistol on Joshua when he rushed to help the dying
man. Brooks took off running, thinking he’d killed both men. When
he found out otherwise…well, that’s when he turned to Maddie
Marlowe. Everybody had a price, Brooks knew, and Maddie came cheap
enough he could afford her.

He spent most of Monday with his thoughts on
Benjamin. Like father, like son? No way in hell. How a man like
John Brooks could have produced a boy as decent and good as Ben
could only be chalked up as one of the great mysteries in life. He
prayed the boy would be all right. Surely God would watch over
him.

Joshua reached Durango on Tuesday. That’s
when his thoughts turned to Kat. He hadn’t let himself think about
her any sooner, but now, at last, with hundreds of miles separating
him from her, he could call her to mind and view the whole
situation from a logical perspective.

But what was logical about love?

Not a damned thing. For that matter, there
wasn’t much logical about turning his horse around and heading
right back to Sunset, but that’s exactly what he did.