No Time for Goodbyes (2 page)

N
O, NO, NO.
T
HIS
has
to be a dream. I haven't pinched myself hard enough. But my mother is here and she looks younger than me.

‘Amma! Why did you call us?' she says, flouncing towards the woman in the centre, the woman who gave me the plate of murukkus. The woman I know. My grandmother.

‘I called out to you girls half an hour back. Where were you all?' my mother's mother admonishes her.

‘Who's this?' my mother has just spotted me and looks at me with frank and curious eyes.

‘This is Manoj's pen-pal. She's come from Australia,' she informs my mother proudly and my eyes almost fall out of my head.

‘But … but he just went to the station to receive her!' My mother says, looking confused.

‘She's come all the way from Australia by
train
?' One of the other girls asks Ajji, looking at me in wonder.

My mother—okay, I'm finding it absolutely crazy to refer to her as my mother—Suma rolls her eyes at the girl and shushes her. To be honest, it's double weird to refer to her by her name.

‘No! Haven't you heard even a word he's said all week? She came by air plane to Delhi to stay with her cousins and she's coming to Bangalore today by train. She's been travelling for nearly three days now. But she doesn't look that tired to me,' Suma says, her gaze assessing me once more.

I cringe and then quietly bite into the murukkus although the sound they make when I crunch my way through is anything but quiet. Whoever this Manoj is, when he comes with the real pen-pal, god only knows what will happen. And what is happening by the way? How did I end up in my mother's teenage years? Until I get any explanation, why stay away from my Ajji's special murukkus?

‘Where is she going to stay?' One of the girls asks Ajji, looking wide-eyed. These other girls are my aunts? I turn towards them and see that they are staring at me as well. My murukkus are now over so I have nothing to keep me occupied.

‘She's going to stay here with us,' Ajji confirms and I look up, not knowing whether to be relieved or surprised.

‘Where?' Suma asks, her eyes narrowed and I cringe when I realise that I make the same face almost all the time.

‘With the three of you,' Ajji explains patiently as she stirs sliced onions in a kadai.

‘Where's her luggage?' the other girl asks Ajji and I'm tired of being referred to in the third person even though I am right there.

‘I lost it,' I mumble and Suma looks at me, her lower lip jutting out mutinously.

‘You mean we have to share our clothes and our room with her?' she asks Ajji who looks at me sympathetically.

‘Why didn't you tell us about your luggage? We would have given you something comfortable to wear,' she says.

I sigh loudly. Will someone explain what is happening? But I can't possibly ask these people without alarming them. That's when I remember my Harry Potter book. And my cell phone.

The book is right next to me and my phone is in my pocket. I pull it out without trying to attract attention but there's absolutely no signal. Right. I don't put it back inside.

Suma's sisters, my aunts actually do have names. But I have to pretend not to know them so I ask them for their names. They oblige happily.

‘I'm Reena, this is Suma and that's Vidya,' my aunt trills and she looks at me expectantly. Oh, so they don't know the pen-pal's name? Should I take a chance? What if Suma knows?

‘Tamanna,' I say and for the first time, Suma smiles at me.

‘That's a lovely name,' she says and I blush.

‘Come, we'll help you freshen up. But how did you find the house on your own? Why didn't you wait for Manoj at the station?' Reena asks. I'm confused. Who is this Manoj and what will I do when he turns up with the real pen-pal?

I get up, brushing the seat of my pants awkwardly and note that Suma and her sisters are gaping at me. Yes. Tight jeans.

‘What's that?' Suma asks when she spots me fiddling with my cell phone. I'm hoping that maybe it will pick up a signal somewhere and I can call my mother—the one who wears saris and actually looks like a mother, and ask her to get me out of this mess.

Since I don't answer, she asks me again. ‘Radio?' she asks and I nod in relief. Vidya has picked up my book and is turning it around, over and over, trying to make sense of it.

‘Such a fat book,' is all she says finally before handing it back to me.

I leave the kitchen with all its tantalising cooking smells, my Ajji bent over a grinding stone where she is rhythmically making a paste of something.

Since everything about my house has changed, I am no longer surprised when the house seems longer and the girls take me to the end of the corridor. They turn there and that's it. It's their room. It's nothing like the room Raina and I share. It's sparse with just a bed and two mattresses lined up against the wall. There are two wooden cupboards and a couple of steel trunks on the ground. There's a faint musty smell in the air. I sit down gingerly on the bed.

‘You'll want to take a bath,' Suma says and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Making me take baths even now!

‘Actually, I'm good. I don't need to change my clothes either,' I say, hoping they won't insist that I wear their flared pants.

‘But … you just spent three days on the train!' Suma exclaims and I sigh. She's not going to let go. That's when I notice that there's a small square mirror hanging on the wall and Reena is standing before it, turning this way and that.

Gosh, Reena Aunty was so vain, I think, trying to suppress a smile when I remember the strict Maths teacher that she's become.

Suma's eyes follow mine and she shakes her head. ‘You idiot. The photo session is over. Stop preening. We should rename you and call you Preena,' she says and I'm surprised at how funny that sounds. We all start laughing except Reena of course, who sulks.

‘Wait a minute,' I say suddenly. ‘What photo session?'

Suma makes a face. ‘Manoj's grandfather is crazy when it comes to photography. He has his own dark room and he constantly uses us as subjects. Just now before you came, he took our photo with a new camera that he made.'

‘He
made
a camera?' I ask.

Reena sits down next to me and nods in excitement. ‘It's amazing. We don't even have to wait for the pictures to develop. It comes out instantly.'

‘Like a Polaroid camera?' I ask.

‘Yes,' Vidya explains patiently. ‘But Manoj's grandfather made some changes to the camera he bought. And we all thought he was crazy because he paid so much for it in the first place for someone to bring it for him from America!'

I listen to this in silence. Manoj's grandfather has customised a Polaroid camera. He took their picture barely sometime back. So where's he?

‘Where's he? Can I meet him?' I ask, wondering if I can ask him what's happening.

Suma shakes her head. ‘He doesn't like to talk much to people. Only photograph them. He went back to their house and he won't like it if we go there.'

‘Where's the picture? Can I see it?' I ask with a certain amount of trepidation.

‘Sure! Here it is!' Suma says, picking up the photo from a table nearby and handing it to me.

My breath catches in my throat as I see the picture I saw just some minutes ago. But why has everything changed after that?

So this is Manoj, I think, as I stare at an older boy with a mischievous smile and a dimple in his cheek. He looks as though he's on the verge of sharing a big secret.

‘Manoj and his grandfather left as soon as we took this photo,' Suma says taking the photo from my hand. She looks at it again and frowns.

‘What's this?' she asks Reena and Vidya who crowd around her. I feel my heart beating faster.

‘What?' I ask and bend towards the photo. Near the edge of the photo is the shadow of a figure and Suma shakes her head.

‘This wasn't there when we first saw this photo!' she says to her sisters. I sit back, feeling all sorts of alarm go through me. I've noticed that the shadowy figure is wearing jeans. Just like me.

W
HAT WAS THE FIRST
floor in my home is now the ground floor. I know this because I can see the road outside the window from the girls' room. They have forgotten the photo and are busy doing random stuff. I watch them with interest as it's nothing like how my sister and I spend our time in the room. For one, there are no laptops, no iPods and no books strewn about.

Suma is sitting in a corner where the light is plenty and she's embroidering something. (Thank god, mom hasn't tried to force this hobby of hers onto me!). Reena is flipping through a film magazine and I know that she's only looking at pictures. It makes me curious about which year this is but I can't ask that right away.

Vidya has asked me if she can read the Harry Potter book and I give it to her willingly although I tell her that it's part 4 of a series of 7 books. It won't make sense to her but she doesn't seem to care.

I don't know why they expect me to sit quietly in this room. Is this how they spend all their evenings? I sigh loudly and Suma looks up, shaking her head.

‘Manoj should have been back by now. Why hasn't he come to meet you? Or maybe he doesn't know that you're already here, right?' she gets up excited.

‘Of course! Why don't you call him and ask him to come?' Reena asks, looking up from her magazine. Call? That means they have a phone? I'm tempted to call my mother on her cell phone from this landline but I doubt anything will come of it. Even if I do get through, what will I tell her? Help! I'm stuck in
your
past?

All four of us leave the room and head towards the living room where the phone is kept. I've stopped mentally comparing the space with what it has become today so I just follow them, wondering what will happen when Manoj sees me. Also, this whole pen-pal thing is so quaint.

Suma is on the phone and she's telling Manoj to come right over. ‘Yes! She's here! What do you mean “how”? Come and see for yourself!' She hangs up the phone and turns to all of us grinning.

‘He is going to be so surprised when he sees you, Tamanna!' she says and I resist the urge to tell her that she has
no
idea how surprised he will be.

‘His house is in this neighbourhood?' I ask and they all nod.

‘We could have gone there instead of asking him to come here right?' I shrug. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can meet Manoj's grandfather and ask him how I can get back.

‘No! Amma won't let us go out after 7 in the evening!' Reena says wistfully. I think back to how much I've fought with mom about how she insists I get back home before 8 every single day.

‘I know! She can be so mean sometimes! Like, what will happen if we go out after 7?' Suma says fiercely and then dropping her voice, she looks around a little scared. I want to burst out laughing but I don't and actually find myself telling her, ‘Maybe she has her reasons Suma. She's just being protective.'

Suma makes what I thought was
my
patented face and it no longer surprises me. I decide to try calling my mother through this phone.

‘Can I make a call?' I ask them and they look at each other warily before Suma nods.

‘To Australia?' she asks, looking worried and I shake my head. She looks relieved and smiles at me.

‘But if it is to Delhi, you'd better wait till 10 pm. Then the rates are half!' Vidya says and Suma shushes her. I smile back at them and say that it's a local number.

I lift the clunky and shiny black receiver and dial my mother's cell phone number. The moment I dial the first digit, I get a tone indicating that the number is not in use. I place the receiver back on its cradle in dismay. Obviously this isn't going to work. Before the girls can ask me who I was calling, the doorbell rings. All eyes turn towards the door and Ajji calls out in our general direction to open the door.

I hang back while the girls run to open the door, their reaction to this Manoj guy making me feel a little bemused. I wonder what mom will say when I get back to the present and ask her about him. Obviously he was a good friend, so how come she's never mentioned him? Then with a sick feeling I realise that I will be able to ask her anything,
if
I get back.

I can hear the sound of excited voices coming towards me and I feel nervous suddenly. What am I supposed to do?

‘Look! There she is!' Suma says, pointing towards me. I step forward and stare back at Manoj's astonished face.

I
DON'T KNOW WHO
is more surprised when Manoj doesn't say ‘Who are you?' to my face.

In fact after the initial shock, he gives me a smile and shakes his head. ‘What are you doing here? I thought your trip was cancelled?'

Hello? Has he really mistaken me for his pen-pal? Hasn't he seen her picture? I look around quickly and see that everyone else is looking at us with a great deal of interest. So, just for the heck of it, I decide to play along.

I shrug and say, ‘Wanted to surprise you. I knew you'd be blown off your socks when you found me here.'

‘Oh well, that's there,' he admits and I'm stuck for words. I look down at the floor and notice absently that it's nothing like the mosaic flooring in my house. This one is made of red oxide and looks like the floor in Ajji's house. Wait a minute. This is Ajji's house? Not mine?

I whip my head to look around, the changed dimensions of the house suddenly making sense to me. Everyone notices my actions and I cringe. I just wish someone would explain what is happening to me. From what I understand, I've got sucked into a photo and I've travelled through time, right to the point when my mother was a teenager.

‘So, have you settled in comfortably?' Manoj's voice breaks me out of my reverie and I nod quickly.

‘Yes, everyone has been wonderful' I say. I notice that Suma is looking at the two of us with something akin to suspicion. God, she had hawk eyes even back then?

‘Err … would you like to come out for a walk?' he asks and I notice that all three girls' eyes have become round. Apparently, they are not used to seeing him being so courteous. For the first time this strange evening, I feel tiny barbs of jealousy coming my way.

‘I don't know if Ajji will be okay with it!' I whisper and everyone looks at me as though I have three horns on my head.

‘Your Ajji back in Australia?' Manoj asks without skipping a beat. I bite my lip and nod quickly.

‘Huh! How will she know what you're doing here?' Reena says but the others are silent.

‘We … we should just talk here for now,' I tell Manoj, stalling for time because I've realised that the moment we're going to be out of earshot from the others, he's going to want to know who I am. And how will I explain that without freaking him out?

‘Fine. Sit,' he says, and he makes himself comfortable on the wooden sofa in the living room. The girls are again gaping at him which I take to understand that this isn't something he does on a regular basis.

We all sit down and it is the most stilted conversation that I have ever had with anyone. Manoj looks amused for some reason and I wonder what is going on in his head.

Suma looks at the two of us, her eyes narrowed.

‘Amma is making dinner. She'll want you to stay,' she says and Manoj nods as though that's a given.

God, what are we supposed to talk about? How much of himself has he told this pen-pal girl in his letters? How much of her does
he
know? Actually, I don't really care, I tell myself.

‘I thought the two of you were really close friends,' Suma says and Vidya looks up. I notice she's brought the Harry Potter outside with her and has been engrossed in it. I momentarily think of Vidya Aunty as I know her, harried and busy with her three children, my cousins. She doesn't look like she'll end up that way, looking at her now, which is kind of sad.

‘Yes, we're good friends,' Manoj replies to Suma and she makes a face at him. I note the exchange between them and realise to my utter mortification that my mother has a crush on this guy. Eeeeeewwww! It is
so
obvious. How could anyone not have seen it, I think as I look at the other two. Vidya is peeking up at us every now and then from the book and Reena is staring at Manoj a little dreamily. God, they
all
have a crush on him, I think with mild disgust. But I'm also really amused.

‘We've already shared so much of our lives through letters that now that we've met, I don't think there's anything left to talk about,' I say quietly and the attention shifts to me. I've just echoed something I heard once about two people who had hit it off online and when they met, they were all awkward with each other.

Manoj raises his eyebrows. ‘Is that so?' he challenges. ‘You know everything about me then?'

I want to slap my forehead for getting into this. I should have just shut up. Thankfully, Suma saves the day by shaking her head and getting up. ‘I'm bored. I'm getting the Ludo board out. Let's play a game, okay?'

Reena jumps a little excitedly and claps her hands and she reminds me of an over excited puppy who constantly needs to be patted down. Vidya looks up from the book and asks me, ‘Where's Hogwarts? And who are Muggles?'

I don't have the energy to get into a Harry Potter 101 lesson with her at the moment. I smile grimly and tell her that I'll explain the following day. Which reminds me. What will happen if I sleep tonight? I'll get up tomorrow in my own bed and this will just be a dream right? Oh god! I seriously hope so!

Suma returns with the Ludo board and since it's for four players, Vidya opts not to play. Thank God mom taught me to play this back in the days when we didn't have a computer.

Manoj is winning the game and just as we're in the last round, Ajji calls. Oops. I better not refer to her as Ajji again.

‘Let's finish the game,' Manoj insists but Suma shakes her head and her long braid swishes down her back.

‘No, Amma is calling. We have to go,' she says seriously and without a qualm, tips the board and the pieces all fall into the round tin. Manoj glares at her but she's oblivious to it. I think of what mom has always told me. She was right. She was this sickeningly obedient girl all the time. Gah!

Manoj is annoyed and he catches my eye and shakes his head and I'm a bit surprised because I give him back a ‘can't believe she did that' look as though we are indeed good friends.

Is it time for dinner, I wonder. It seems so soon. Back home we eat only at around 9 pm.

‘You stay here. I'll go help Amma set the plates in the kitchen. Reena! Come with me,' Suma says imperiously and leaves with bad grace. Manoj hasn't noticed her going. It's only the three of us now in the hall and I look around nervously.

‘I think it's time you talked now,' Manoj says softly, looking at me squarely.