Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (28 page)

Like most women who are trying to trap a man, Stephanie made herself available 24-7. Casey would call her at all hours of the night and she would drop whatever she was doing to do him. On at least two occasions, he called her after 2:00 a.m. when we were leaving the club and just like clockwork she was ready to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Now, that may sound appealing to some men, but it taught me one valuable lesson. Dealing with a woman who has too much time on her hands can be dangerous. If they are not invested in something, then you become the investment. Anyway, after about two months of dropping by for late night quickies, he became bored with her and broke off the relationship. From that point on, her name was never mentioned again, not until three months later when she called with the shocking news of her pregnancy. Of course, he called me immediately after he hung up the phone with her.

“Tony, this is Carey. You won’t believe this bullshit!”

“Wassup, man?”

“Do you remember that female we met at the mall about four months ago?”

“Which one?”

“The one I used to call and wake up at two in the morning. You know, the plain Jane.”

“Yeah, I remember her vaguely. What about her?”

“Dude, she just called me a minute ago and told me she was pregnant!”

“Hell naw. You’ve got to be kidding me, right.”

“I wish I was. I’m getting ready to go over to her place right now and talk to her about getting an abortion.”

“Wait a minute; weren’t you wearing a condom?”

The phone got quiet for what seemed like an eternity. I knew then what the answer was.

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t use one on a couple of occasions.”

“Oh shit. You messed up big time.”

“I’m not even sweating it. I’ll just go over there and threaten to kill her ass if she doesn’t get rid of it.”

“Listen to me carefully on this one Carey. Don’t even waste your time with that approach. This woman is not going to have an abortion, trust me.”

“How can you say that when you don’t even know her?”

“First of all, you haven’t slept with her since early October, right?”

“Right.”

“Now here it is late January, and she’s just now calling to tell you that she’s pregnant. Come on man, what does that tell you?”

“I’m fucked!”

Later that evening he called me with the update on what happened with their visit. Just as I expected she refused to get an abortion. She lied to him and said she didn’t know she was pregnant until her fourth month. Not only that, but she claimed her doctor advised her against an abortion because of medical reasons. Was that a bunch of bull or what?

As the months passed and the delivery date grew nearer, Carey became more frustrated and hostile. The thought of a stranger having his baby was eating him up inside. This was definitely not the type of woman he wanted to bear his child and his first one at that. “Why me?” he would angrily shout. “I should go over there and throw her ass down a flight of stairs.” Although this remark was meant only as a bad joke, it was clear he didn’t want her to carry the baby to term. During this time, he cut off all communication with her. The way he saw it, there was nothing for them to discuss until after the baby was born. And besides, he didn’t want to give her the impression he was supporting what she did. In his mind she was nothing more than a conniving bitch who took advantage of him, and that’s exactly what she was. But guess what, he fell for it!

On the day the baby was born, Carey was calm, cool and collected. I guess he was just glad it was over. He even went to the hospital to see the baby; it was a boy. But I strongly advised him against signing any papers until after having a blood test. Sometimes you never know. There are women out there who will get pregnant by a bum, and say it’s yours just to save face with their families. A man should always double check to make sure that a child belongs to him. I don’t give a damn how long you’ve known a woman or how much they tell you a baby looks like you.

When he returned from the hospital, his concerns shifted from what he was going to do about the baby, to how he was going to break the news to his wife.

“Tony, how am I going to look my wife in the eye and tell her I have a son by another woman?”

“Well, if I were you, I would just wait for the results of the blood test before I start running off to confession.”

“You might be right.”

“I know I’m right. I mean, why break the news to her when you’re not absolutely positive yourself?”

“You’ve got a point there, I’ll wait.”

Two weeks after the baby was out of the hospital, he called her and demanded to have a blood test before signing the birth certificate. She had the nerve to get upset, and threaten to take him to court. When he called me back, he didn’t know what to do. I simply told him to stand by his demand. “Tell that bitch you don’t know her from Adam,” I said. “She can’t expect you to trust her when you don’t even know her last name.”

Apparently the idea of going through expensive lawyers and time-consuming court procedure made her more reasonable. The blood test was taken, and another wait had begun.

“I hope this test comes back inconclusive,” Carey said. “I would never mess around again.”

“You need to stop that damn lying.”

“Ok, then let me say, I will never have sex without protection again.”

“I’ll let that one slide, for now.”

“I’m serious, Tony. This is the most stress I’ve ever been under in my entire life.”

“You’ve been stressed out? What about me? I’ve had to listen to your whining for the last six months. Hell, I feel like I’m the one having the baby.”

A week later the results of the test came back. But unfortunately for Carey, it was 99.9% in favor of him being the father. Just as promised, he signed the birth certificate and put his son on his health insurance. After only a few nights of meaningless sex, it now seemed that Stephanie got everything she wanted, a beautiful baby, a handsome father, and $550 a month. And while he despised her for what she did, he only had himself to blame. After all, he was the one who had everything to lose, not her. He should have done a better job at protecting his own interest. Now he has to face his wife with the painful truth. And God only knows how she’s going to take it, especially since she’s been bugging him for years about having a child of her own. His excuse was always the same, “We can’t afford it.” Well, after this expensive mistake, he may be right after all.

Any man who has had the experience of having an unwanted child will tell you it’s one of the most aggravating and powerless feelings in the entire world. The woman has all of the rights and options. She can either get an abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or leave the man out of the child’s life altogether. But what rights or options does the man have? To screw or not to screw, that’s what, because once he puts his penis inside of her vagina, all of his powers are instantly transferred. Now his financial fate is in the hands of his lover.

Then there are the ferocious fights over paternity and child support. “It’s not mine,” the man will swear. “I don’t know how many other men you’ve slept with besides me.” For the mistress who has been faithful, this is a slap in the face and an embarrassment. She knows the baby is his and demands that he support it. “If you don’t want to help me out voluntarily, I’ll just have to take you to court.” Now the situation gets blown all out of proportion and everybody suffers. The mistress will have to secure a lawyer and take days off from work to attend court proceedings. And after all of this wasted time and money, the cheating man will end up paying retroactive child support anyway, so what’s the point? It seems to me their energies and financial resources would be better spent on the innocent child, not shifty lawyers.

The cheating man’s compulsive desire to have more than one woman is not only monetarily costly but also potentially dangerous. It won’t be long before his web of deceit snares a woman whose venom is more poisonous than his own, and whose mind is as unstable as a rocking chair with one leg. She will be his worst nightmare come true, a real life fatal attraction. In the beginning of the affair, she appears to be a sweet, rational, and sane individual. But when he tries to dump her, watch out! She will not react passively by crying herself to sleep listening to her Mary J. Blige CD. Instead she will become enraged and seek revenge on the one person whom she feels is responsible for causing her so much misery. And guess who that is?

Robert discovered first hand just how ferocious one of these women could be. For three months his ex-lover stalked him all over town. She followed him home, to the gym, an even to the park where he took his daughter to play. “She seemed so docile and harmless when I met her,” he said. “What in the world could cause a woman to change so dramatically?” Chances are she was crazy long before he ever met her. All she needed was a little pressure to make her snap. And snap she did.

Robert’s Story

L
et me start out by saying, I have no one to blame but myself for what happened. I’m not one of those guys who won’t take responsibility for my actions. I played the game and I got burned. But Kelly was one crazy heifer. When I say crazy, I mean Glenn Close crazy! We met at a fundraiser for underprivileged children back in June. I noticed her the minute she walked into the room because she was wearing a sharp pants suit and eyeglasses. It’s something about business attire that turns me on. As fate would have it, our tables were directly across from one another. When we made eye contact, I greeted her with a hand gesture and took my seat as the speaker came to the podium. Since her back was to the stage, she had to turn her chair completely around to see him. And every now and then she would casually glance over her shoulder to see if I was looking. Of course I was.

After the opening presentations, people began to walk around and mingle. I expected Kelly to do the same but she just sat there sipping on her glass of water. That’s when I decided to go over and introduce myself. As I pulled my chair back form the table, she smiled as if to say, “Come and get it.” I approached her with my hand extended.

“Hello, my name is Robert,” I said as we shook hands. “How are you doing this evening?”

“I’m doing just fine Robert. My name is Kelly. Nice to meet you.”

“I guess it was pretty obvious that I was coming over, huh?”

“Well, at the risk of sounding conceited, yes it was. But I must admit, you were rather smooth about it.”

“Thank you for noticing. So, what brings you out to support such a worthy cause?”

“I love helping children.”

“Yeah, so do I. As a matter of fact, I have one of my own.”

“Boy or girl?”

“A three-year-old girl. Her name is Tamera.”

“Awe, and I bet she’s cute too.”

“Of course, I think so,” I said proudly.

After going through this routine of getting comfortable with one another for about fifteen minutes, I decided not to waste any more time dilly-dallying around. It was time for the big question.

“So are you married, engaged, or in love?” I boldly asked.

“None of the above,” she responded with a smile. “But what about you? I know some woman has her claws in you already. And it’s probably your baby’s mother.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie to you. We still see one another, but it’s nothing serious.”

“Yeah, right. That’s what they all say.”

“Look, I’m not going to waste time lying to you about my situation. If I’m interested in getting to know a woman, I tell her my status up front. That eliminates all of the unrealistic expectations and game playing.”

“I don’t know about you, Robert. You seem like a real bad boy. And sooner or later, bad boys have to be punished.”

What in the hell did she mean by that? I thought to myself. Is she into sadomasochism? Or is she merely joking about my aggressive behavior? At the time, it really didn’t matter. I was determined to get her number.

“So what are you trying to say? You don’t trust me?”